Confidential
by wandb
Summary: Living amongst the rolling vineyards and lush landscape has been Bella's dream. So why is she so plagued when a certain mystery man-about-town eludes her? Rated M. B/E. AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Prologue: Confession**

It was late and the lights were all off, save a few, when I pulled into the parking lot. I saw his car tucked off to the side of the lot and sighed in relief. Somehow I just knew he'd come here.

The front door was locked, so I went around the back. I pulled my sweater around my body to fight off the chill I felt, both from the cool night air and my nerves. Something was off with him, and I wanted to find out what it was.

"Hello?" I yelled into the empty space. "Edward?"

I walked in, my heels clicking in an echo around the room as I closed the door behind me. While the oil paintings and sculptures that occupied this space provided serenity and calm during the daytime, at night they made me feel watched.

I climbed the stairs and walked the narrow hallway to his office. The light was on and cast a glow into the hallway.

His back was to me as I walked up, and his feet were propped up casually on his desk. He had to have heard me coming given the echo of my shoes, but he said nothing. I stood at the doorway, waiting for an invitation to come in, but it never came.

He poured neat scotch into a short, engraved crystal glass and set the half empty bottle loudly back down on the desk, taking a huge swig out of the glass.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked. At least he was talking. It was a start.

Edward's reaction earlier had surprised and annoyed me, and as always, I found myself uncertain and desperate for answers. I was often in the dark with him - something that infuriated and intrigued me in equal parts.

"I don't understand," I said softly, walking into the room. "Did I do something wrong?"

He turned and looked at me, and if looks could kill, I would have been dust. "Did you do something wrong?" He huffed and turned back around, shuddering slightly as he emptied his glass.

"Won't you at least talk to me?" I didn't understand what I had done _this time_ to get him so angry with me.

He stood and walked closer to me; his balance was tenuous. He kept moving closer, and I moved back unconsciously until I was flush against the wall. His body was close, too close. I held my breath.

His thumb came up and grazed my cheek, his face serious and stoic, but still, he said nothing. His breath was hot on my cheek, and I shivered under his touch.

"Where's Peter?" He wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"At home."

He nodded and walked back to his chair, sitting down again. My hand came up and ghosted over my cheek where his fingers had been.

"Shouldn't you be with him?" Between his tender touch moments before and his unmistakable vitriol, the puzzle was coming together. This was not about our friendship.

I began to speak again, not liking the thickness of the silence between us. "He's packing. He's leaving tomorrow." It wasn't a lie, nor was it the entire truth. I knew I needed to tell him, but I couldn't form the words.

"Well, what a shame," he spat.

I walked over and knelt in front of him, my hands on his thighs. "It's not like that. He's not who I want."

I tried desperately to get him to look at me, but he averted his gaze, looking deep in thought.

I hung my head and repeated my words. "He's not who I want."

"Who do you want, Bella?" Edward asked flatly.

I was afraid to speak. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and making a fool of myself, but it was time to finally get my questions answered. If there was one thing I'd learned in the last year, and even more so in the last few hours, it was that not going after what I wanted was not an option.

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**A/N: So, what did you think? Leave me a review and let me know. I read and respond to every one! Seriously, I squeal like a fangurl when my Inbox fills up with reviews and alerts. You have no idea!**

**My plan is to update this twice a week if my schedule permits. At the very least it will be once a week. We'll see how it goes. I'm thinking Tuesdays and Fridays. **

**Check my profile for pictures. This week, just some scenery and my fuckawesome banner by Mehek18 to set the tone. Each chapter, I'll post more. **

**Thanks to my betas, Viola Cornuta and TwiHeart, for their advice. You should know that every time I have to publish something new, I'm a total basket case. It's really nerve-wracking (as any author can tell you), and these guys help talk me down. Really – I can be a nervous mess. (Another reason why I love your reviews so much!)**

**Also, much love to my pre-readers: Sunfeathers, Dana1779 and ellierk, whose reaction to this chapter made me want to jump up and down on my bed like my 3 year old! *muah***

**Until Friday…**


	2. Chapter 2 Harvest

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 2: Harvest**

Tonight was important. I needed to make an impression - a very good impression. In a word, I needed to be dazzling.

Tonight was the Harvest Festival's Annual Ball. To most, that sounded like a nice night out on the town, or a chance to get dressed up, but to me it was a critical opportunity to get my name out there in the very competitive world of restaurateurs in Napa Valley. The event was being held at one of the Valley's oldest wineries and was world class from the food to the décor. All the who's who of the Northern California food and wine industry would be there.

Those facts spinning around in my head had filled me with anxiety and anticipation all afternoon. I had spent the better part of the day running to shoe stores, dry cleaners and hair salons to make sure I looked the part tonight.

I'd just opened up my restaurant, Confidential, in St. Helena, right in the heart of Napa Valley. It was the realization of my childhood dreams to be my own boss. It was all I'd ever wanted.

I hadn't craved recognition when I became a chef, it just happened. I worked in the top restaurants in New York after culinary school and quickly rose up the ranks. I was "discovered" by the renowned chef Aro Volturi. He was known to have a big ego and exacting standards. As his sous-chef, I learned all there was to know about managing a menu in a five-star restaurant. It had been the ultimate training ground.

The exposure to the high profile and competitive profession had taught me how to attract investors and attention from people I needed, even if it wasn't really my comfort zone. I wouldn't be intimidated or crack under pressure. I knew I had the right team in place now at Confidential, and we would live up to big expectations. If I could handle working under Aro, I could handle anything.

I never wanted anything pretentious, or to be the next celebrity chef. In fact, I was happy to be away from the big city. Cooking was my passion, and I wanted to share it with people and make them happy. I wanted to provide a place where people could come and enjoy good food and drink in a pleasant and relaxing atmosphere, and Confidential was just that.

I finally made it back to my house around three o'clock in the afternoon, which only left me a few hours to get ready before my longtime friend and sous-chef Alice picked me up.

I wanted to be taken seriously and look competent but not stuffy. I worked in a very male dominated industry, and being a petite woman, especially being just barely over thirty, made it difficult at times to stand out as competent. My entire career I'd had to overcome stereotypes. People thought just by looking at me that I was too fragile and young to be an Executive chef or to make difficult business decisions, and as a result, I'd had to work hard to prove myself.

I utilized every last second I had perfecting my look. I'd even gone down to San Francisco last weekend and purchased a gorgeous royal blue dress. It was knee length silk with spaghetti straps and a satin trim in the same blue tone. I paired it with strappy gold heels and simple gold jewelry. I pulled my long brown hair back loosely into a chignon to make it look carefree when it was anything but that. I wanted my look to be understated elegance.

The doorbell rang, and with one last glance in the mirror, I decided I was ready, pleased with how my look came together.

"Be right there, Alice," I yelled as I ran through the house grabbing my purse and my coat.

Alice looked stylish as always in a strapless dress with a white skirt and black lace on top. It was short, but she had great legs and pulled it off easily. We exchanged compliments, and then chatted on the way to the venue in her car.

The sounds of the band and the crowd were easily heard as we approached the venue. The adrenaline pumped through me, making me anxious to get inside. Tonight was a big deal, and I was extremely nervous. I'd never been shy and had always made friends easily, and it came in handy in this business, especially at times like this. I was expected to work crowds, and I was good at it. Making small talk and conversing with strangers came easily to me. I was thankful I had Alice with me as well; she always made a great impression on people.

"Okay, look at me," I said as we approached the entrance, turning Alice to face me with both hands on her biceps. "This is big for us. You look like a million bucks. You'll be fabulous. Now, take a deep breath and go in there and knock 'em dead."

I sighed deeply and straightened my dress. "Okay, Alice. Let's do this."

With that, she smiled brightly and pulled me toward the door.

It was dusk, and the sky was a deep blue with fading shades of red and orange. The party was in a large tent on the back patio of a beautiful brick building that looked out into the vineyards. White twinkle lights strewn overhead delicately illuminated the scene below. Each table had a tall flower arrangement with fall colors abundant. The china and crystal were in their proper places. It was stunning. I'd been to numerous events like it when I worked for Aro. This time, however, the pressure was on me, not him. The distinction was palpable, but I was ready for the challenge.

A waiter passed by, and I grabbed two glasses of champagne from his tray, giving one to Alice and taking a quick sip of the other.

_Just do what you do best_, I thought to myself as I sighed heavily and straightened my posture.

Alice pointed discreetly to a small group huddled by the bar. "I think I see Garrett over there, so I should probably go say 'hi'. Will you be okay on your own?"

Garrett was Alice's former employer and Executive Chef at one of my competitor restaurants. He was well respected in Napa, so even though Alice had been unhappy working for him, ultimately leaving to work for me, it was necessary for her not to burn that bridge. He had substantial influence in our industry.

I waved her off, not wanting to be a leech, but inside I felt my nerves turn in knots in the pit of my stomach. I was a social person, but I'd never been in a position before to sell my own product, and it was a whole new ballgame. I was uncomfortable bragging about my restaurant and my skills, but it was critical to my success. Even though I wasn't particularly fond of talking about myself so much, I had to suck it up.

I moved through the crowd and mingled; happy the conversations flowed so easily despite my nerves. I was elated to hear that people had heard good things about my restaurant and even me as a chef. I knew the culinary world was a small community, but it was still nice to hear compliments, and it definitely made me feel more confident.

After making small talk and feeling generally exhausted from all the self-promotion, I was thrilled to see Rosalie, our Sommelier, and one of the newest additions to the Confidential team, sitting at a table at the front of the tent.

"Oh, thank God," I said as I sat down next to her and rubbed my aching feet, subtly slipping my shoes back on before anyone noticed. "A familiar face."

She smiled and handed me her drink. "Here. You look lovely but a bit worse for wear. You could probably use this more than me."

I nodded and returned her smile. "You have no idea. My feet are killing me."

"You should be really proud, Bella," Rosalie said, turning her body to face me. "I've heard a lot of positive comments from the people I've talked to tonight. There's a lot of really good buzz about Confidential. That's a great sign."

"Really? That's encouraging! I've heard some good things, too, but I'm trying to keep it in perspective. Plus, I'm just a little starstruck in this room. There are some heavy hitters here tonight. Unlike when I worked for Aro, this is all on me."

She put her hand on mine reassuringly. "Hey, you're one of the heavy hitters, too, you know."

I sat back and relaxed slightly. It was weird to think of myself like that.

I was contemplating getting up and leaving the relative comfort of Rosalie's company to mingle more when I saw him – the most beautiful person I'd ever seen.

He was wearing a black tux, as were most men here tonight, but instead of blending in, he stood out. He was tall, about six feet two inches, taller if you counted his perfectly tousled bronze hair. He was laughing and talking to a young couple, and his smile was absolutely breathtaking.

I had no idea who he was or what I was going to say, but I wanted to talk to him, if for no other reason than to have an excuse to get a closer look. For a split second I felt guilty thinking like that when I had a boyfriend in New York three thousand miles away, but I talked myself out of it, telling my conscience it was all about business.

I hardly took my eyes off him as I squeezed by people to get closer. I was polite and smiled as I brushed past people I knew I should stop and talk to, in favor of meeting the handsome man on the other side of the room.

At one point, his eyes caught mine and his smile fell. His beautiful pouty lips parted slightly, and then his jaw tensed as if he had seen something upsetting. I looked around me to see if something or someone had caused a scene but quickly deduced the look was for me. He had no reason I was aware of to dislike me, so I was confused. I smiled out of nervousness, and he must have realized the dour expression he was giving off and changed it to a warm smile. Just like that my mood lifted.

I was just about to reach him when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen came up and grabbed his arm. She had to have been a supermodel. She was almost as tall as he was in her heels with her mile long legs. Her dress was backless and short, made of black sequins. It hugged every perfect curve on her body. She had dark skin and piercing green eyes, which I was surprised to see, matched his. Her long brown hair hung in waves down her back. Together, they were unbelievably gorgeous.

I fumbled with my purse, trying not to make it obvious I was walking up to talk to the mystery man. I pretended I was just passing by. I tried to be discreet as I looked up to see if I'd been noticed. When my eyes peeked up, I caught him looking at me with the same serious expression he'd possessed moments before, and I could feel the heat on my face. The supermodel whispered something in his ear, pulling his attention away from me, so I scooted by to make my getaway.

What was wrong with me? I just wanted to talk to him, and yet I'd just been reduced to an awkward mess. It was probably a blessing in disguise because I wasn't sure I'd have been composed enough to put my best foot forward.

Embarrassed, I snuck off to the bar and grabbed a glass of wine, eventually moving to a table along the side and out of the main path of the crowd. As inconspicuously as I could, I kept tabs on Mr. and Ms. Hottie as they socialized. It should have cheered me up, having someone so gorgeous to stare at all night, but instead I started to feel annoyed. What the hell was up his ass? I hadn't even talked to him, so there was no reason for him to be so rude. Sure, I was no supermodel, but he looked offended at the sight of me. For the first time that night, I wished I had Peter here as my date.

Alice found me a few minutes later, already well into glass number two, and I'd never been so happy to see someone in my life.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked, eyeing me suspiciously. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"He happened." I nodded toward Mr. Hottie.

She followed my line of sight and nodded in understanding. "Oh yeah, Edward Cullen. Did he say something to you?"

I stood up straighter. "No, he's just so...wait…do you know him?"

She shrugged and looked in his direction. "Not well. We've met a few times. Why? What happened with him?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "Nothing. I was making the rounds and went to introduce myself. He sort of scowled at me and blew me off. I don't know why it bothered me so much."

"Well, I know he can be rather aloof. He owns a winery – Masenry Cellars in St. Helena. You know, the historic building right off Silverado Trail? It's belonged to his family forever. From what I can tell, he plays his cards pretty close to the vest. The few times I've talked to him, I couldn't decide if he was a complete asshole or just quiet. I'm thinking asshole tonight."

"He looks pretty smiley and chummy with his supermodel girlfriend." I heard the bitchy tone in my voice and internally chastised myself. Why should I be bitter just because they were beautiful and happy? Perhaps it was because he was acting so conceited. I didn't understand people who were like that. They irritated me, and he was no exception.

"Wouldn't you be happy if you were them? I'd go gay for that girl. Seriously, look at those legs. And aside from his less than stellar personality, he's smoldering hot. Can you imagine what their children would look like?"

"I've been doing that for twenty minutes. They look like they belong together." I held my glass up to toast. "To the beautiful, conceited people."

Alice laughed as I downed the rest of my drink. I straightened myself up as I still had networking to do and drinking too much and feeling bitter about people I didn't know would definitely not make the impression I wanted to make.

"Let's go mingle." I pulled Alice over to the food station with renewed vigor. "Hey, did you see Rose is here? Have you seen her in action?"

"Yeah, I saw her talking to Paul Banner. I think she's trying to negotiate getting a few cases of his new reserve Cab that's being released next month. It's supposed to be fabulous and quite hard to get."

"Well, that's why I hired her. She's the best. If she can't schmooze the wineries, I don't know who can." I felt confident Rosalie could get just about anything she wanted; she was very beautiful, charming and persuasive. She was perfect to have on my team.

Sometime around midnight, I started feeling tired. The party was still going strong, although the numbers had thinned.

I found Alice, who was cuddled up to some gorgeous guy with her hands in his hair as she talked. He looked barely legal. Alice always did have a way with men. It was good to see some things hadn't changed from our days in culinary school.

"Are you ready to go?" I felt ridiculous asking her since she was clearly _not _ready to leave.

She sat up. "Oh…uh yeah…let me just…" She looked around like she was looking for her purse, stalling.

She obviously didn't want to leave, so I put her out of her misery. "Alice, you should stay. I'll just catch a cab. I saw several out front."

"You don't have to do that," she said, but her eyes showed relief.

"I insist. It's fine."

After several rounds of mock protests on her part, I convinced Alice to stay. I wasn't really in much of a social mood any longer and didn't want to bring her down. Tonight had been exhausting on many levels.

I handed my ticket to one of the women working the coat check and leaned against the wall, hoping it would hold me up. I hadn't realized how tired I was until just that moment. I was spacing out, staring at the twinkle lights in the distance, my eyes blurring lazily, so I didn't even notice Mr. Hottie approach until I heard him talk.

"I'm sorry. I don't have my ticket. The name's Cullen," he said to the attendant apologetically.

My head whipped around, and I tried to stand up to appear presentable, smiling as I took him in. The attendant looked about as intimidated as I had been earlier but scurried off to fetch his coat.

I was suddenly standing awkwardly alone with the person whom I'd been admiring and puzzling over all night.

I wanted to introduce myself, but I felt like an idiot. It annoyed me that he'd been so standoffish all night. I'd had some great conversations tonight and met some interesting people, so what made him so untouchable? Despite my nerves, he was a winery owner, and I owned a restaurant. It was important for me to have as many contacts as possible.

I decided to turn on the charm and force him to notice me. I hoped I could still stand; my feet really did hurt.

I stuck out my hand to shake his. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Isabella Swan. I've just opened a restaurant in town." I was pleased with how cheery I sounded.

He looked down at my hand and slowly withdrew his right hand from his pocket to shake it. "I'm aware of who you are, Ms. Swan." If I weren't distracted by his gorgeous face, I'd have been bothered that he was a little curt.

I smiled weakly, a little surprised he knew who I was. "Well, I hope you've heard good things." He gave me a forced Mona Lisa smile, so I continued talking, flustered. "I'm sorry; I didn't get your name."

Of course, I knew his name, but he didn't need to know I'd been asking about him.

"That's because I didn't say it. I'm Edward Cullen." His expression remained unchanged, lifeless.

So much for dazzling him.

The attendants chose that moment to come back with our coats – one for me, two for him.

I was sure my face showed my annoyance at his brush-off, but if he noticed he said nothing. In fact, I couldn't read his expression at all. He wasn't necessarily rude, but he certainly wasn't nice, either. It just made me all the more irritated and intrigued: like a high school girl – always interested in the boys who were the most indifferent.

"Good night, Ms. Swan," he said matter-of-factly. And with that, he turned and left before I had a chance to say another word.

I slid into the cab, tired, buzzed, curious, and annoyed.

My mind wandered to Aro. People were fascinated by him, even when he was being a complete ass. I never questioned his ability to intrigue people. Still, it was a style I loathed and never wanted to emulate. So, why was I so curious about someone who seemed to possess the same type of qualities? How had he heard of me? Had he heard good things? Why did I care so much? I could deny it all I wanted, but I knew precisely why I cared. I'd been the same since I was a young kid – always seeking approval. And now my future was riding on approval from the people in this community. I knew I couldn't win them all, but it wasn't like me to not take that challenge head on.

I threw my jacket over the couch when I got home and walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. I pulled my phone out of my purse to check for messages and cringed when I saw there were three messages from Peter.

7:05 pm. _"Hi, baby, it's me. Just checking in. I had a crappy day and just wanted to hear your voice. Call me."_

8:15 pm. _"Bella, where are you? You never turn your phone off. Anyway, call me."_

Where was I? I'd told him on numerous occasions about the Harvest Ball and how important it was for me. He hadn't even listened. Typical guy. He'd never understood my need to leave New York for this "pet project." He expected me to turn tail and head "home." But New York was never home. And Peter had never seemed farther away.

10:30 pm. _"Well, it's late, so I'm going to bed. Still not sure where you are. Sorry I missed you. Call me tomorrow."_

I hung up the phone and set it on the counter. It was too late on the East Coast to return his call, and I wasn't really in the mood to talk anyway. I slowly sipped my water, unable to recall a time when I'd felt as lonely.

As I got ready for bed, the cozy home I was thrilled to purchase several months before felt big and empty. The sheets on my bed were cold and shocking as I slid in, and the only noises I heard were the occasional cars driving by and the chirps of nocturnal animals. It was peaceful, yet I felt anything but at peace.

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**A/N: First of all, I am blown away by the response to the first chapter. It's so nice to see so many familiar names! I have the best readers! Thanks so much for being so loyal. It means the world to me. If you're new to my stories - *hi* **

**I give teasers for reviews, so don't be afraid to tell me what you think. Edward's kind of a dick, huh? **

**By the way, I received several questions about EPOV. This story will be 100% BPOV, however, I will be happy to write outtakes in EPOV. So as you're reading let me know what you'd like to see, and I'll keep tabs. **

**Also, I'm posting teasers on The Fictionators every Monday (different ones than in the review replies), so be sure and check it out! **

**Thanks to my betas, Viola Cornuta and Twiheart for all the help fine tuning this chapter. Also, much love to my pre-readers, Sunfeathers, ellierk, and Dana1779! **

**Next up, we see Bella at work! **


	3. Chapter 3 Mine

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 3: Mine**

Everything was new for me in Napa – the weather, the people, the environment. I'd underestimated the extent to which I'd truly be starting over.

Still, I wasn't about to let it get the best of me.

My move had been the result of several life-changing events. I'd spent the last five years working in various restaurants in New York, having completed culinary school at the Culinary Institute of America. Cooking was all I'd ever wanted to do.

I quickly learned the ins and outs of high-end restaurants. I'd dealt with everything from food poisoning scares to immigration crackdowns, to supplier strikes. I wasn't naturally competitive, but I learned to hold my own in a cutthroat, male-dominated industry and was levelheaded, keeping my cool under pressure. I also learned to manage a variety of personalities and tried to bring out the best in the staff.

I practically ran Aro's restaurant, Volterra, while schmoozing celebrities and the social elite. I'd considered myself the luckiest person in history to work for a chef of that caliber and status when I'd gotten the job. Chefs dreamed of working for him.

However, after several months it became clear we had very different ideas about how to run a restaurant. To Aro, his restaurants were a way to gain him recognition. It wasn't about the food or the people, although he could cook with the best of them, it was about what the food could gain him. His pretension made me sick. He constantly name-dropped and was unnecessarily snobby to people unless he thought they'd further his climb up the social ladder. I'd had to watch what I said the entire time I worked for him just to keep from getting fired.

Still, my work with Aro had earned me a certain amount of credibility and invaluable experience in the food world. I hadn't welcomed the scrutiny of being in such a high profile position, but it was nice to be recognized for my work. Aro, for all his hunger for fame and personality conflicts with me, liked my work and gave me incredible opportunities.

Aro's face and restaurants were everywhere, and I was his number two. In _Food and Wine's_ Who's New in 2010 issue, I was named Most Promising Rising Star, which surprised the hell out of me, yet was extremely gratifying. It was one more reason to bite my tongue over our disagreements.

To me, cooking was about the experience, the comfort. Taste and smell, being so closely linked to memory, made the experience different for each person. A bite of a familiar meal could transport someone back in time to relive a fond memory. Or the smell of something cooking could remind someone of a lost loved one. It often had that effect on me, which was why I loved it. I grew up cooking for my dad, and his memory was present in every dish I made.

When my dad, a career police officer, died in the line of duty earlier in the year, I was heartbroken. For most of my life, it had been just me and him. He'd always been my biggest supporter, and although we lived on opposite sides of the country for years, we'd stayed close.

My mom had moved to Florida with her new husband when I was five. She never played much of a role in my life after that. However, since my dad died, she'd made an effort to call more frequently, but it was like talking to a stranger. She didn't know the adult I'd become and still saw me as a child. I didn't have any hard feelings about it; it was what it was. But it did make me feel extremely lonely at times.

My dad left me a small inheritance, and I knew it was his way of telling me to reach for the stars. He knew how different my work in New York was from what I truly wanted to do. He also knew how much I hated the big city and felt engulfed by the masses. It was my dad who had always encouraged me to get out from Aro's influence, saying no amount of experience was worth compromising my values. At the time, I thought he was over-protective, so I took his advice with a grain of salt. After all, he wasn't in the business, so he couldn't know what was required to succeed?

I was forced to put his words into perspective after seeing how quickly his life had been ripped away from him. I didn't want to have any regrets, and if my life had ended right then, I knew I would. So, in a way, he'd determined my fate. I wouldn't squander this opportunity to follow my dreams. I wouldn't allow my fear to prevent me from trying to make something of myself. I wished he could see how much he'd influenced me, and I hoped he'd be proud of me.

The decision to move to Napa had been difficult. I'd been dating my boyfriend Peter for about a year. He was an entertainment lawyer and was in high demand. Our relationship was unconventional because we didn't see each other all that much given his ridiculous hours. I worked most nights and weekends, and he was always busy during the day. I'd never seen someone with such dedication to his work, but we managed to make it work. At the end of the day, I always felt like he had my back.

When I told him about my desire to open a restaurant, especially one that wasn't located in New York, he'd been defensive, saying I was abandoning our relationship. He thought I was throwing things away on a whim. I understood why he felt slighted – I'd made the decision without consulting him first. I'd kept my reservations about living in New York to myself, so it must have seemed out of the blue to him. I didn't do it to be secretive, but I knew if I let him have his way, I'd be living in New York, working for Aro indefinitely. His power of persuasion made him a wonderful lawyer, but it also made me cave in to his wishes more often than I liked.

I loved Peter because he was there for me and we got along, but he also was firmly set in New York, and that didn't bode well for us. In the end, we'd made a compromise. I'd move to Napa by myself, and we'd see how things went for one year. After that, we'd make a decision about where we wanted to be and how to move forward. I appreciated his willingness to try and make things work, even if I knew he was secretly hoping for me to fail so I'd move back and be with him.

In addition to my issues with Peter, I'd never been to California before, and it seemed like a foreign world. But the restaurant industry was a small community, and once I started talking to former classmates of mine, I narrowed down my location choices pretty quickly. Napa Valley had a growing culinary community, and many of their restaurants were touted as the best in the country. It attracted world-class travelers, and obviously the connection with the wine industry was a huge lure. It had a small town feel in a serene and peaceful environment. It was everything New York wasn't – quiet, quaint, beautiful. It was perfect.

But probably the most convincing argument for me starting my restaurant in Napa was Alice. We were classmates in culinary school, and we'd kept in touch over the years. I'd always really enjoyed her company, and she'd done an excellent job selling me on the attributes of Napa Valley. Like me, she had worked for an arrogant Executive Chef and wanted a change. She'd been in Napa for a few years, having taken a spin with a couple other restaurants in Denver and San Francisco before that. I thought she'd have concerns being my sous-chef, instead of an Executive Chef somewhere else, but she assured me she wanted the job. That set the wheels in motion, and after my first few trips, I was sold. I'd found my new home.

The last few weeks since the Harvest Ball had seen some new interest in Confidential. My reservations were filling up, and it had received a few write-ups in local blogs. Perhaps my time at the party hadn't been for naught. The biggest break came in the form of a large party, which had been booked for the private room in the back of the restaurant. It was a birthday party for the daughter of one of the Valley's oldest vintners, and it was my job to ensure it was the most memorable one she ever had.

Since Confidential opened, I hadn't booked a party larger than fifteen, but that one was for thirty, which took up the entire back room of the restaurant. Thirty people who had a fantastic experience provided invaluable word of mouth advertising in such a small town, and I could use all the help I could get.

Once again, I was nervous. I was confident in my skills, but it seemed like every night was a make or break night, and my nerves were shot.

When I originally thought of opening my own restaurant, I hadn't expected to be so emotionally invested. It seemed like I was on an emotional roller coaster. I had been arrogant and thought I knew what it was like because I essentially ran the kitchen for Aro. I realized quickly that the kitchen was only a fraction of the whole business. It was like my child – an insult to the restaurant was a personal affront to me. It was hard to be objective. Truth be told, the whole thing was a lot harder than I expected. I cried a lot. Sometimes I cried to Peter, but I knew if I overdid it, he'd expect me to move back to New York, and I couldn't give up yet.

One morning, after a particularly restless sleep, I thought about what had brought me to this point as I picked at my cereal. I could have been safe at Volterra working under Aro. I could have been written up in Food and Wine magazine again and celebrated my success without all this pressure.

But it would have been his.

And I wanted mine. My dad would want me to have mine.

"There you are," Alice said as I walked into the kitchen to get ready for the evening. In addition to the large party, we had quite a few reservations, so it was shaping up to be a busy night. "I was just going over the specials and wanted to get your final blessing."

I tasted each dish Alice and I had discussed earlier. Everything was cooked to perfection, and I had to hand it to Alice, she knew what she was doing.

I gathered my staff and presented the menu for the night, going over in painstaking detail how each dish was to be described and served. Rosalie discussed wine pairings for each of our specials. I felt prepared. Or if I was being honest about it, I appeared prepared. On the inside, I was a bundle of nerves.

By seven o'clock I'd forgotten about my nerves and just did what I knew I needed to do. I was on autopilot - plating food, greeting guests and monitoring the service. So far, the customers seemed happy and things were going smoothly.

And then I saw him.

Edward Cullen was part of the large party. I'd managed not to see him before then, which was a good thing or the night would have gone a lot less smoothly. I still hadn't figured out why he'd gotten under my skin so much, but it was undeniable. This was only the second time I'd seen him, and I had the same reaction as before.

Tonight he was with a different woman, although she was equally beautiful. Unlike the intense and striking brunette he was with at the Harvest Ball, this woman was blonde and looked carefree. She was all smiles and giggles as she clutched his arm. He looked happy and at ease as they mingled with the crowd.

What a tough life they led. I rolled my eyes and got back to work.

I didn't even have the benefit of looking my best tonight. Being in my chef coat, with my hair pulled back in a bun, running around sweating, didn't make me feel pretty at all. The minute that thought entered my head, I was aggravated again. Why was I worried about looking pretty? I highly doubted he worried about looking pretty for me – not that it would have been hard for him.

I walked into the kitchen, still flustered about Edward. Thankfully, I found Alice.

"How's it going back here?" I asked, trying to get back into business mode.

Alice didn't stop working to talk to me; she was a master multi-tasker. "I've got it under control. How about out front? Everyone happy?"

"Yeah, so far, so good, Chef. You'll never believe who's here, though."

Alice stopped working when I said that and straightened up, seemingly excited. "Who? A celebrity?"

I laughed. "No, sorry to disappoint you. It's Edward Cullen. He's with the birthday party."

She shrugged. "Is he with some rail thin supermodel?"

I flashed a cheesy fake smile. "Yep. Nothing but the best for Mr. Cullen." I grabbed a towel and wiped up some crumbs on the prep counter.

"Well, at least he's some eye candy. Let his date deal with his moods."

"That's the plan. Except I don't need the distraction." I threw the towel on the counter and turned to leave. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll be back in a while."

The only hope I had to make sure I didn't get distracted was to pretend like he wasn't here and focus on doing my job. The night was too important to let Edward Cullen ruin it for me.

Who was I kidding? There was no way I could keep my eyes off him. He was just too gorgeous, and since I didn't have to talk to him, it was a win-win. Anytime I was in the dining room, my eyes sought him out. He hadn't noticed me, which was a relief. At least I didn't have to endure another look of condescension on his beautiful face.

Edward kept his hand on the small of his date's back as she stayed close by his side. I pondered briefly what had happened to his date from before. They'd looked like they were together, but here he was looking much the same with someone entirely different tonight. The thought that he wasn't tied down gave me a surge of happiness, though I knew I had no right to such feelings. Even if I were free, he'd been nothing but indifferent to me.

I shook off those thoughts and hurried into the kitchen to check on things. Alice had everything running like a well-oiled machine, and I felt satisfied. I didn't have long to rest, though, because there was still so much to be done.

I wiped my brow and headed to the main dining room to greet the customers. I walked from table to table, smiling and making small talk. The comments I'd gotten tonight were very positive, which made me swell with pride.

I glanced up after leaving a table to catch a pair of intense green eyes sizing me up. My smile fell as I realized Edward was watching me. It was hard to be myself with his intensity bearing down on me. I didn't have to dwell on it long, though, because by the time I looked up again, he was gone.

I breathed a sigh of relief and continued greeting customers.

The birthday party had gone well. All the food had been served with few problems. The guests enjoyed the passed appetizers, chilled salads, and the formal dinner. The birthday girl seemed to be enjoying herself throughout the evening. I was feeling good. Alice had the dessert plated and ready to serve by the time dinner was over. She was quite confident in her work, and it showed.

I took one last walk around the party to make sure everything was in order. I knew I'd probably see Edward again, but I figured if I could just avoid him, I'd be fine.

I'd managed to get through the party without running into him, picking up stray plates and empty cocktail glasses. I wanted everything to be perfect. I felt relieved, having managed to steer clear of him. I grabbed a pitcher of iced tea from the bus station and headed to the kitchen to refill it.

I had my head down, a million thoughts running through my head, when I slammed full force into a wall, knocking me back. I rolled my ankle and nearly fell on my ass when two strong arms caught me, righting me.

Pain shot through me as I collected myself enough to realize I hadn't, in fact, run into a wall, but rather Edward Cullen.

"Oh my God," I exclaimed, both because it was actually him and because he was covered with iced tea. "I'm so sorry."

The look of sheer anger on his face made me feel even worse. If his impression of me was bad before, it would be really horrible now.

"Let me run get you a towel," I stammered, trying to make the situation better as I reached out to lead him to the busser's station, my ankle throbbing.

He shook off my hand as if it was covered in acid. "Thank you. I've got it."

"I insist, Mr. Cullen." I was all business now. I needed to treat him with the same courtesy I'd treat any other customer who'd just been doused with iced tea, despite his rudeness. "I'm really very sorry. Let me help you get cleaned up. It's the least I can do."

He followed me reluctantly, and once I got to the busser's station I realized there was no saving his shirt. It was soaked and most likely stained.

"Of course, we'll cover all dry cleaning expenses. I feel horrible that you've been inconvenienced." I excelled at customer service, but he was not responding in any way. Every time I tried to help him dry off, he rebuffed me quickly. It was making me nervous and uncomfortable.

"Just leave it, please," he huffed, pushing my hand away, trying to dry his shirt himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help." It was my last ditch effort to rectify the situation. I certainly couldn't have made it any worse.

Again, I wondered why I cared so much what he thought. Why did I seek his approval when it was so obvious he wasn't going to give it?

He handed me the towel, and for a split second it looked as if he had something to say, the crease in his brow relaxing ever so slightly. His careful control won out, and he left without saying another word.

"Just send us the bill," I said to his back as he walked out.

The doors to the busser's station swung closed as he walked out, and I leaned back on the counter in confusion. My spilling on him had been an accident. I had tried to resolve the problem as best as I could, yet he was still cold to me. He acted like I'd done it on purpose. Or worse, like I didn't even matter.

I found myself more angry than anything else. That was twice now he was unfriendly and rude to me. Obviously the iced tea debacle was my fault, but most people would have been a little more understanding.

I straightened up, pulled myself together and set out to do my job. I'd done all I could, and I wasn't going to let Edward Cullen ruin this night any more than he already had.

Still, my eyes sought him out. Despite the wet stain on the front of his shirt, he still looked like he was having a good time. His cheerful date hung on his side, and he smiled and carried on as if our encounter had never happened.

I wanted to get him out of my head. Every time he made an appearance in my thoughts, I uncharacteristically felt ill at ease – insecure in myself, my accomplishments, my talent. Why I gave a stranger this power over me, I'd never know.

Other than the encounter with Edward, the rest of the evening went very well. We'd run a wait for most of the evening, which meant word was getting around. The customers seemed to enjoy themselves, and I had to consider the night a success.

As I went to sleep that night, I vowed Edward Cullen would not do this to me again. I wouldn't let him get under my skin. I'd worked too hard and come too far to doubt myself.

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**A/N: Hmmm…we're starting to see a pattern with Edward. He's obviously got Bella worked up, and she's trying extra hard not to let it bother her. But seriously, what's up his ass? Think the intrigue is one-sided? Next up, Bella reveals a little too much to our aloof friend…or does she? Pictures for the first 3 chapters are on my profile!  
**

**Thanks so much for the reviews everyone. I can't tell you how happy they make me. If you haven't reviewed yet, please take a moment and let me know what you think. I take constructive criticism well. Of course, if you liked it, I love that too!**

**If you've seen Confidential rec'd anywhere, please let me know! It's a huge compliment, so I always want to know who to thank. **

**Much love to my team this week. TwiHeart and Viola Cornuta, my betas, make my words pretty and keep my sane. Ellierk, Sunfeathers, and Dana1779 are my cheerleaders. What can I say? I'm needy like that. I love all you ladies! **

**Next chapter should go up on Friday! **


	4. Chapter 4 Masenry

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 4: Masenry **

My phone rang, startling me out of bed. I slammed my hand down on the bedside table to get rid of the offensive noise. When that did nothing, I threw my pillow over my head to drown out the sound.

I had been in the middle of the best sex dream. It was the kind where you could almost feel everything as if it were happening. I loved those dreams, especially since my bed was most decidedly empty. My partner in my dream, however, was slightly unsettling. It was Edward Cullen. I dismissed his presence as mere coincidence since I'd been thinking about our brief interactions. Plus, I had the body of a supermodel in my dream, so I knew it was purely just my mind's way of entertaining me. He was a very attractive man, so it made sense. I wanted to keep the dream going as long as I could.

I sighed. The moment had passed, and now that I was awake, I figured I might as well get up. I listened to my voice mail on the way to the kitchen. It was Alice, of course. She sounded chipper and awake, which annoyed me because she worked the same late hours I did, and it never seemed to take its toll on her.

"You're finally up," she said, after picking up on the first ring.

"Yes, and you're to blame."

"Well hello to you, too."

"You interrupted a fantastic sex dream. Since actual sex is rare these days, I ought to be really mad at you."

She laughed on the other end of the line. Apparently she had no compassion for the undersexed. "Sorry I woke you. But hey, now that you're up, I thought we'd go wine tasting like we talked about the other night. You know, to get you more familiar with the big players in our area. I invited Rosalie, too, which should be great. She knows everything there is to know and has already been making calls."

As tired as I was, it did sound fun. I really wanted to get more familiar with the area. Plus, I'd been working almost nonstop since I opened Confidential months ago, so a nice day out with friends sounded great. It was comforting to have girlfriends to rely on, and since I'd opened Confidential, I'd really grown to value them. I needed people to provide support, and they were always there for me.

I scratched my head and glanced at the clock on the microwave. "Pick me up in an hour?"

"We'll be there. It's going to be hot today, so wear something cool and don't forget the comfortable shoes."

Comfortable shoes. Right.

The shower worked wonders on my tired body, and I was ready before my allotted hour was up. I wore a striped backless halter dress with wedge sandals. They didn't necessarily qualify as "comfortable shoes", but I didn't think they'd give me blisters, either. Even though the trip was just for fun, I still wanted to look my best in case we ended up doing some business.

Sometimes I wished I could just leave my work at home and have fun, but owning my own business was a twenty-four hour a day endeavor. Good wine was part of the dining experience, and I wanted to know as much as I could.

I heard Alice pull up, so I ran out the door to meet her. She had a convertible, which was perfect for such a sunny day. The air was crisp and cool, but the sun made up for it. I slid into the back seat, and Alice pulled onto the highway. With the sun on my face and the wind in my hair, I was feeling good, refreshed. It reminded me that I needed to get out and let loose more often.

"So, I've got our day all mapped out," Rosalie started, turning to face me from the front seat. "We'll start up in Calistoga with some sparkling wine and work our way back down. I've made the appointments already, so we are good to go."

I got excited listening to Rosalie talk about her plans for us. She'd really gone out of her way to plan a fun day, and I appreciated the gesture. I really needed a little fun in my life.

By the time we got to our second stop of the day, I already felt a little buzzed. Because Rosalie was a bulk buyer and sommelier, our pours in the tasting rooms were a little bigger (a lot bigger actually) than the average customer. At our first stop, we'd tried four different types of sparkling wine, and the bubbles were going to my head. Rosalie was great as she talked Alice and me through the intricacies of each wine we tasted, making it a lot more entertaining and very educational.

On the way to our next winery, we stopped at Dean & DeLuca's, a delicious specialty foods shop in town, and Alice ran in and grabbed us some sandwiches for lunch. The winery Rosalie chose for lunch had a very nice picnic area, so we plopped down in the shade with our wine and food and took in the view. The scenery was so spectacular; the rolling hills a direct contrast to the crisp straight lines of the vines. The sun made the hills glow. It was completely relaxing.

Until the questions came.

Rosalie leaned forward and put her elbows on the table. "So, tell me more about your boyfriend."

I looked between Alice and Rosalie, hoping she meant Alice, but it was clear she was talking to me.

"My boyfriend? Oh…uh…his name is Peter." I didn't know why, but I didn't feel like talking about him. He seemed a million miles away.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I _know _that. What I want to know is what's going on with you two? How come we haven't met him? Or even heard you talk much about him?"

I took a sip of my wine. "Well, he lives in New York, so it's hard for him to travel much outside of work. He's a lawyer, and he's got a heavy case load, but we're trying to make it work."

"How's he in bed?" Rosalie asked bluntly.

I nearly spit up my drink. "You're asking me about sex with my boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." I sighed. "Well, since he's in New York and I'm here, there's not much to tell. But…you know…it was fine."

Rose laughed. "Uh huh, fine. That's a great word to describe sex. _Fine._"

"I know it sounds pathetic, but we're just used to each other. It can't always be like the first time."

"Well, I guess not." She didn't look convinced, but she dropped it.

"How's it going with the distance?" Alice asked. She managed not to sound as skeptical as Rosalie.

"It's going okay. I mean, I wish I could talk to him more about what's happening with me, but I don't want to complain too much. He's got a lot on his plate already, and the last thing he needs is to hear me bitch about my problems."

"Bella," Alice slid her hand across the table and grabbed mine. "It shouldn't be a bother for him to listen to what's going on with you. Owning your own restaurant is a big deal. You should be able to talk to the person you're with about it."

I waved them off. "It's not that bad. I think I've painted a bad picture of him, and we've been together for over a year. He's really a great guy. He's just busy; we both are. We're hoping we can spend the holidays together."

I wasn't entirely feeling so positive about him, but I was trying to convince myself it was all true; that he was the great guy I'd thought he was and that he'd support me in the biggest thing I'd ever done. He was comfortable and cared about me. But I still felt a little raw about how things had gone down surrounding my move to Napa. I knew he just wanted me to stay in New York with him, but I needed his support. I hoped all it would take for him to believe in me was a little time so he could see I was serious and could be a major player here.

Rosalie and Alice still looked doubtful.

"Anyway, that's what girlfriends are for," I said, trying to deflect the conversation away from Peter and me. "I need you guys to commiserate with. Peter wouldn't understand our shoptalk anyway, and you guys are here. So, lucky you!"

They laughed, obviously sensing my lack of desire to talk about it further, and Alice lifted her glass to toast. "To commiserating!" Our glasses clinked, and I was thankful the subject appeared to be dropped.

We piled into Alice's car again and headed down the road to our next winery.

Rosalie started giving us the rundown while we were in route. "This winery's been in the valley since the forties. It's been passed down for generations, and now it's run by the great-grandson of the original owner. They have a lot of tradition in their wines, so you'll notice how each bottle tastes like it's been specially prepared for you."

Alice and I hung on Rosalie's every word. I loved that she knew so much about the Valley – not just the wines, but the history, the stories.

Rosalie continued our education. "Masenry specializes in bold Cabernets, but they've got some nice blends, too."

Masenry. I'd heard name before, but I couldn't remember where.

The building that housed the tasting room looked like an old colonial home. There were quite a few similar buildings scattered in the Valley – historical sites that had been around forever. Some had been homes; others had housed railroad workers or ranchers. All told of Napa's rich history. Masenry was no exception. It seemed like a simple design, uninteresting in its boxy shape, but it was far from it. It was just four walls made of brick with a pointed roof and plenty of paned windows surrounding it. With clean lines, it looked like the building itself contained lost stories of past times. I'd driven by it often but had never noticed its charm.

The landscaping was meticulously maintained, with trails and paths leading out into the garden. There were benches and small clusters of tables and chairs throughout the garden where people sat and enjoyed their wines in the natural beauty outside.

The inside was equally elegant, with fine art and sculptures abundant in the opulent space. Everything about it screamed elegance and taste.

I couldn't wait to taste their wines. If they put as much thought into them as they did their property, they were sure to be fantastic.

The man behind the tasting counter looked at home. In his mid-fifties with a friendly smile, he talked engagingly to the few customers already there.

We sidled up to the bar, and the man greeted us with a pleasant smile.

"So, what'll it be today, ladies?" he asked, putting three glasses on the counter in front of us. "We have our standard tasting for twenty dollars or our reserves for an additional ten."

Rosalie leaned forward, commanding the man's attention. "I'm Rosalie Hale. I called ahead and made an appointment this morning."

The man smiled, recognition clear on his face. "So you did, Ms. Hale. Mr. Cullen let me know you'd be coming by."

Mr. Cullen?

Suddenly I remembered why the name sounded so familiar to me. We were in _his_ place. Of course it had to be the most gorgeous winery I'd ever seen. Even his taste in real estate and art was exquisite. Was there anything the man touched that wasn't beautiful?

My head was spinning from the news as well as the previous wine we'd drunk, and I became nervous again.

Alice, sensing my change in demeanor, chimed in to rescue me. "Don't worry, it's not like he's going to be here."

She was right, and I felt myself relax. Just because he owned the place didn't mean he'd spend his days in the tasting room. Still, I didn't like the way I reacted to him. It made me feel like a child.

The man doing the pouring, who introduced himself as Carlisle, was just as friendly as his look suggested. He had tremendous knowledge about the wines, and together with Rosalie, I felt like I learned a ton about each variety they served. We spent quite a bit longer here than we had at any of our previous spots, enjoying both the wine and the company.

"So, now that you've tried the wine, Ms. Swan, which one was your favorite?"

I put my finger on my chin, being overly dramatic as I thought. "It's tough because I loved so many of them, but if I had to pick one, I think I liked your reserve Chardonnay. It was crisp and delicious. Perfect for a day like today."

He smiled and nodded. "Ah, yes, the Chardonnay. That's Edward's favorite, too. He's very proud of that one. It's won several awards already, and it's only been out of the barrel for eight months."

Edward's favorite. I smiled despite myself.

The way Carlisle talked about Edward Cullen was in direct contrast to the cold, rude man I'd seen at the restaurant and gala. I was, once again, intrigued by the mysterious Mr. Cullen. The champagne and wine didn't help.

No sooner had that thought entered my mind when Edward Cullen himself walked into the room. So much for him not hanging out in the tasting room. He was wearing jeans and a casual t-shirt and looked a far cry from the upper crust, model-dating man I'd seen before. He seemed almost approachable. Likeable, even.

He gave us a meek smile as he pulled Carlisle aside. "Ladies, do you mind if I steal Carlisle for a moment?"

I shook my head but said nothing.

He and Carlisle walked out of earshot. They spoke in hushed tones, but it looked serious. Edward's casual appearance from moments ago was replaced with the no nonsense, calculating business man I expected him to be. Carlisle shook his head, looking as if they were in some sort of disagreement.

I drank my wine and stared at him in silence. He was so gorgeous, even when he was being serious. He had a bit of scruff on his chiseled jaw, and his hair was its usual copper chaos. His penetrating gaze was focused on someone else, which was a welcome departure. No one had ever made me feel so flustered, and I couldn't recall ever being so mesmerized by good looks. Especially from someone who was so aloof.

Carlisle returned to us, leaving Edward on the other side of the bar. He softened his expression again and began to talk to us more about the wines. The pours at Masenry were no different than any of the other wineries we'd visited – large. While we chatted with Carlisle and drank our wine, I stared unabashedly at Edward. He didn't seem to notice, but Alice did.

"See anything you like?" she asked, elbowing me in the arm.

I snapped my head in her direction. "Was I being that obvious?"

She raised her eyebrows and smirked. "I've seen freight trains with more subtlety."

I buried my face in my hands, embarrassed. "God, Alice, he's just so beautiful. Just look at him! It's so not fair. He's such a jerk."

"I'll give you that. And you're right; he's easy on the eyes."

Thankfully Rosalie was in her own little world checking out the legs from the Cabernet on her wine glass, or she'd have embarrassed me for sure.

"Easy on the eyes? That's the understatement of the century." My words were slurring slightly, but I didn't care.

"Who's easy on the eyes?" Rosalie asked, a little louder than I would have liked as she tuned in to our conversation.

"Shhhh!" I admonished as Rosalie laughed.

"Well, look who's got a happy little buzz?" Rosalie was smug as she took a sip of her wine. "So, who's easy on the eyes?"

I nodded my head in Edward's direction, trying to be coy but not really succeeding.

"Edward Cullen?" Rosalie asked, straightening up. "You were talking about him?"

I nodded and glanced in his direction. He looked up at us with a wry smile, and I cringed. Had he heard us talking?

But then he looked at his paperwork again, and I figured it was just a coincidence. He was all the way on the other side of the bar, but still. I didn't need for him to know how hot I thought he was.

I set my glass down on the counter and leaned in closer so he wouldn't hear. "I swear, that man probably fuels more steamy fantasies than anyone has a right to."

"Like yours?" Rosalie asked bluntly.

I could feel the blush creeping onto my face as I tried to look once again at Edward. His face was still on his paperwork, but he had a small smile on his face.

I seriously hoped he hadn't heard us. What was wrong with me?

"You didn't answer the question, Bella. Has he or has he not been the star of one of your fantasies?" She cocked her eyebrows and waited for my response, a huge smirk gracing her face.

The alcohol in my system was making me do and say uncharacteristic things. Or maybe it was my new, bold friend. Either way, I talked about things with these two girls I hadn't ever done with my other friends.

"Keep your voice down, Rosalie!" I whisper-shouted.

"Well?"

"Of course she's fantasized about him," Alice said, pointing at me. "Just look at her blush!"

I heard a throat clear at the other end of the bar and looked up to see Edward looking at me intently.

I took a sip of my wine and rested my forehead on the bar in mortification.

Great, now Edward Cullen knew he was the star of my fantasies. As if he needed anything else to make him feel superior.

When we walked out to leave after spending at least an hour and a half talking and drinking with Carlisle, I realized I was a lot drunker than I originally thought. I even stumbled a little as we walked out, which was very uncharacteristic. I didn't normally get drunk, so I felt like a fool. And of course, it had to have been witnessed by Edward Cullen. I was never that brazen and obvious. Peter would not have approved.

I sank into the back seat of Alice's car. I hoped I hadn't made a fool of myself. I was a little ashamed of my obvious gawking, especially in front of Rosalie and Alice. Not two hours earlier I had been singing Peter's praises and defending him, and then the minute I got a few drinks in me, I was ogling some other guy. It wasn't the sort of thing I was proud of, and it actually made me feel like a pretty terrible girlfriend.

"Well, that was fun," Alice said as we pulled away, glancing suggestively in the rear view mirror. "And very informative."

"Yeah, Carlisle was great," Rose chimed in. "And the scenery wasn't bad, either. Don't you agree, Bella?"

She turned to face me, and I shot her a nasty look.

"Oh God, you guys. I'm such an asshole." I buried my face in my hands in shame.

"You are not. So what if you were a little blatant about ogling Edward. You certainly wouldn't be the first person to do it, and I highly doubt you'll be the last."

I wished I could be as dismissive about it as Rosalie, but it wasn't in my nature.

"Seriously, do you think he noticed?" I cringed. Napa was a small place, and I couldn't hide from him forever.

Alice just nodded. "Yeah, I think he probably heard. Between you and Rosalie, you guys were talking a little loud. But, so what? It's not like he doesn't know he's gorgeous!"

So what? Oh God. I didn't want him to have the satisfaction. And what about Peter?

I got home and slumped on the couch, pulling my phone from my purse. I dialed Peter's number, hoping I'd be able to hide my buzz. I just wanted to hear his voice to ease my guilt, even though I technically hadn't done anything wrong.

"Bella?"

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

"Hi babe." I'd only said two words, and I already sounded drunk.

"_Is everything, okay?"_ he asked.

I rubbed my face and closed my eyes. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just miss you."

"_Me too, babe. Listen, I was just running out. Can I call you later?"_

I sighed, not knowing what the hell I wanted. "Sure. Yeah…call me later."

"_Okay, I will. Bye."_

"Bye."

I ended the call and dropped the phone next to me on the couch. Okay, so no Peter.

When it was time for bed, I slid into my freezing cold sheets and shivered. I tried to relax, but all I could think about was Edward. I cursed myself for it, trying to substitute Peter's face instead, but it wasn't happening. All I could see was Edward's intense eyes and wild hair. I thought of his full lips bent into a crooked smile and wondered what it would be like to kiss those lips or to have him inside me.

No. I didn't want him.

Except I did.

I was completely worked up by this man. My hand slid down my body and gently caressed where I wanted it the most. I closed my eyes, picturing Edward's hands instead of mine, his body moving in sync with me. I was at war with myself, not wanting to indulge my fantasy but helpless to stop it.

I threw my arm over my face as I panted and came down from my powerful release.

Caught between guilt and pleasure, I fell asleep with thoughts of Edward on my mind.

Damn him.

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**A/N: I feel for Bella, don't you? She's going to be so embarrassed when she sobers up! Am I the only one who has a supermodel body in dreams? Cause let me tell you, I ROCK it when I'm asleep! LOL. On another note, I just love wine tasting in Napa. It's my happy place. *sigh* Pictures for chapters 1-4 are on my profile! **

**Next up, we'll see how the next day goes. Will Bella recover?**

**Thanks to my peeps this week. I've been all over the place, and my betas, Viola Cornuta and TwiHeart, have had to work overtime just to keep me on track. Seriously, if you like the story – thank them! Hugs to my pre-readers, ellierk, Sunfeathers, and Dana1779 for making me smile! **

**If you haven't reviewed yet, why not? It's the only feedback I get, and if you knew how neurotic I am, you'd help a sister out! Come on – give it to me! I give teasers…**

**Until Tuesday…**


	5. Chapter 5 Determined

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 5: Determined**

I sat at the coffee shop on the corner of my street watching cheery people come and go. I envied their energy. My head hurt, not just from the wine yesterday but also from disappointment. I hated knowing I'd made a fool of myself and had no idea how to fix it. It wasn't like Edward and I were friends, but I seemed to be running into him often, and there was a chance we would see each other again at industry functions. I felt compelled to try and explain myself so I could stop replaying the afternoon over and over again in my head.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Rosalie, knowing she'd help me.

"Hi Rose, it's Bella."

"Hey, gorgeous. How are you feeling this morning?"

I always hated that question. It implied that, not only had I been drunk, but everyone around me _knew_ I was drunk. Had I made more of a fool of myself than I thought?

I let my forehead rest in my hands and sighed. How embarrassing.

"I'm feeling alright. A little hungover, but mostly just disgusted with myself."

"Why? Because of Edward?" She sounded incredulous, which made me feel a little better. Perhaps there was nothing to worry about after all.

"Yeah. Oh God, he had to have heard us. He even knows I fantasize about him now. I hardly know the guy. And in my few encounters I've managed to spill iced tea on his Gucci suit and drool on his tasting room bar. I've got to apologize. He has the completely wrong impression of me."

"I don't think it's that big of a deal, but being the perfectionist you are, I know you won't rest until you've gotten this off your chest. Tell you what?" Rosalie was a very good voice of reason. "I'll call over to Masenry and make an appointment with him. We need to order some of his new releases anyway, so it'll be a good time to show him your professional side. And if you still feel like you want to make amends or whatever, you'll have your chance."

"C'mon Rose, my head is killing me, and my mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage. What I really need is a gallon of coffee and a cheeseburger. I don't think I'm capable of facing him today. Or his pretty face."

"Just get it over with, Bella. He didn't seem upset, so I'm sure it's no big deal."

"All right. Since you seem to enjoy watching the train wreck I become in front of Cullen, let me entertain you."

I hung up with Rosalie, not entirely convinced that seeing him would be a good idea, but agreeing to it anyway. Rose was right; the sooner I faced him the less awkward I'd feel. I doubted it would erase the attraction I felt toward him, but perhaps I could create a better impression.

I got home, showered and tried to make myself look as professional as possible. I wore lightweight black slacks and a silky white tank top. As I looked in the mirror, I realized it didn't matter what I wore; nothing would change what happened yesterday.

I picked Rosalie up on the way to Masenry, thankful for her company.

The tasting room was empty when we walked in, except for an older couple at the end of the bar. I was hoping for a few more distractions.

"Hello ladies," Carlisle said pleasantly as we walked up. "You're here to see Edward, I presume?"

We nodded, and Carlisle smiled warmly. "I'll just let him know you're here."

I wanted to ask Carlisle for another glass of Edward's favorite Reserve first to take the edge off.

Edward emerged a few minutes later, looking perfect, as usual.

Game time.

He smirked when he saw me, and I could only imagine what he was thinking.

"Ms. Hale, Ms. Swan," he said, extending his hand to shake both of ours. He was the picture of professionalism, which was a change from his usual boorish self. I wished I had gotten that glass of wine.

He had a strong grip and a piercing gaze as he shook my hand. I hoped he didn't notice my clammy hands. Before I had a chance to wallow in my discomfort, Edward led us up the stairs and down a short hallway to his office.

I tried to give myself a pep talk on the way. He probably didn't care at all. So what if I fantasized about him? Why would he care? Other than a virtual stranger knowing something so personal about me, I convinced myself it was no big deal.

His phone rang right as we reached the office, and he held up his finger for us to wait while he took the call, stepping outside.

I hid my face in my hands. My pep talk had only been partially effective. "Oh God, Rose, I feel like a total pervert."

"You are a total pervert," she said, laughing.

"Glad you think this is funny."

"It is funny, but only because you're so worried about it. I mean, look at him. Do you really think this is big news to him?"

She had a point. I felt slightly better.

I took the opportunity while he was out of the office to glance at the pictures on his wall and shelves. There were a ton of photographs, ranging from recent to very old. There were framed magazine write-ups and awards lauding Masenry's wines. There were pictures of men out in the vineyards, presumably his relatives. I could see his family's history on this wall. It was surprising to see family pictures here, since our brief encounters left me with an impression of someone emotionally detached. It seemed a far cry from the warm, caring man depicted in the photos.

I leaned in to focus on a framed photo on a shelf of a man in a large brimmed hat and a boy standing at the edge of a vineyard. The boy looked like a younger version of Edward.

"That one is of my father and me. It was my thirteenth birthday."

I turned, startled, to see him standing a few feet behind me. I'd been so engaged, I hadn't even heard him come back into the office. I felt like I'd been caught snooping, but I wanted insight into his mind. I wanted to reconcile the man in the pictures with the man I'd met.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Edward leaning toward me. He pointed with one hand at the photo I was staring at and rubbed the back of his neck with his other hand. I was mesmerized by the way his hand moved across his neck. His long fingers looked so graceful and nimble, and I pictured his hands touching me with the same tenderness. My heart began racing in my chest, and my breathing quickened, nervous to be in such close proximity.

I focused my attention back on the picture. "It's…so cute."

Cute? I sounded like a thirteen-year-old girl. Why couldn't I have chosen my words better?

He chuckled nervously. "Guys don't like being called cute. Easy on the eyes, maybe, but not cute."

And just like that my fears were confirmed. He _had_ heard us talking. If he heard that, then he most definitely had heard that I fantasized about him. My cheeks flushed with heat. I should have apologized, but I couldn't. I didn't trust myself not to make things worse.

I did the only thing I could think of – avoid the topic altogether. I could play it cool. This was what I did. I kept my cool.

I pulled myself together and refocused my attention on the photo. I pointed to the picture, recognizing the man standing next to Edward, but not really sure. "Is that…Carlisle?"

"Yeah. He looks young, doesn't he?" His voice was low and raspy in my ear as he leaned closer. He was so close I could feel his body heat radiating from him.

"May I?" I pointed to the photo and turned back to Edward.

He nodded towards the picture and smirked. I hoped he didn't notice my shaking hands as I picked up the photo. I was ridiculously attracted to him, despite his icy demeanor, and I was worried my body's reaction to him would betray me.

"He looks the same - happy." I smiled, thinking of the man I'd met the day before. "I guess that explains why he was so at home yesterday. He was so gracious."

I glanced over my shoulder and then back at the photo.

"Yeah, he's wonderful with customers, and he knows his shit when it comes to wine. I learned everything I know from him," he said reverently.

This was the most I'd heard him speak, and I wanted to know more. Plus, I was happy the conversation had gone away from me.

I thought about the warm and friendly man out in the tasting room and couldn't help but consider how Edward turned out so different. Was he really the cold man he presented to the world? It made me wonder if he was like his mother.

"He's your father?" I turned and looked at him and there was less than a foot of space between us. Unlike me, Edward seemed totally at ease with our close proximity. His eyes were a piercing green, much prettier than I remembered, and he smelled amazing.

"Yeah, he's my dad." A warm smile lit up his face.

"Carlisle was great yesterday. We enjoyed talking to him," Rosalie chimed in. I had briefly forgotten Rosalie was even in the room, and the sound of her voice snapped me out of my Edward-induced daze.

I shook my head and handed the photo to Edward. As he reached out to take it, his hand touched mine. It lingered there, waiting. I slowly pulled my hand back and self-consciously rubbed my fingers where we had touched.

Edward cleared his throat and stepped back to allow me to pass. I walked over and sat in the chair opposite Edward's desk, followed by Rosalie who eyed me knowingly. Edward's demeanor was back to business as he pulled up his chair and sat down at his majestic mahogany desk.

Rosalie snapped into business mode right away, and I was thankful one of us had our faculties about us. "Thank you for meeting with us, Mr. Cullen. I'm not sure how familiar you are with Confidential, but we're grateful for your time."

"I am somewhat familiar. I've been in before." Gone was the nostalgic boy from a moment ago. His voice was short and somewhat cold.

"Well, it's our goal to make Confidential have the premier wine cellar in all the restaurants in the Valley. We're already off to a great start, and with your help, we'll be able to add one more incredible label to our selection."

"Is that so?" He leaned forward on his desk. He was being just polite enough not to be called out on it, but he was far from friendly.

Rosalie continued without hesitation. "Yes. We think your wines are fabulous. I spent quite a bit of time with Carlisle yesterday and have put together a request for several cases. Assuming the wines sell as well as I expect, I'll be back to place a larger order in no time."

"You know," he began, looking at me as he leaned back in his chair, the leather squeaking with his movement, "I've seen a lot of people come and go in Napa. My family's been here forever. All the new players dream of turning Napa into the next fucking Hollywood scene without a thought as to how the rest of us feel. I just want to make good wine, not get caught up in the fucking circus."

I was stunned. He didn't know me or my aspirations. I sat up straighter and crossed my legs. "I beg your pardon?"

Maybe I'd misunderstood him. He wouldn't really have been that rude, would he? Just moments ago, he was standing close to me talking about his father. What a strange divergence.

He continued his diatribe. "Napa Valley was never about all this." He waved his arms around and had a disgusted look on his face. "It wasn't some competitive rat race. There was collaboration, community. It was about quality over quantity. It was about a way of life and being passionate about what you do. Everyone who's been here for a while can attest to that. But things have changed, and I can't say I'm on board. Everyone wants to be the next big thing. Celebrities came here, shitting on everything as they went, and before I knew it, Napa had changed. Now it's about who's who and exclusivity. I want no part of that."

Wow, this I hadn't expected.

I could see his point, but it pissed me off, too.

"And you think I'm part of the problem?" I asked defensively. To think I'd come here today to apologize to him, only to have him insult me and everything I'd worked for.

"I don't know you –"

"You're right, you don't." I felt Rosalie's hand on mine, trying to calm me down. We still needed to be professional - he was a major player in our industry.

He continued. "Are you saying you're different? Can you honestly say you're not like the others? Ms. Most Promising Rising Star? Ms. Sous-chef to Aro Volturi?"

I hated him for mocking me. Well, I wanted to hate him. I couldn't deny that it might have appeared as though I was some sort of sell out. I _had_ worked for Aro Volturi, after all, and everyone knew his reputation. I decided to take the high road.

"I know what you must think, but I think you've misunderstood my intentions. It's my sincere desire to maintain the integrity of the Valley; that's part of the charm. I worked hard to get here, and I can assure you, I'm not trying to cheapen Napa's rich history." I sounded like I was in a job interview, and I hated that. I didn't want him to think I was justifying myself, because I didn't owe him anything.

"I'm sure you did _work_ hard."

What did that mean? "I'm sorry; did I do something to offend you? Did I wrong you in a past life?"

It occurred to me that I had, in fact, done something to offend him with my behavior yesterday, but I didn't want to think about that. I wondered if that was the reason he was acting this way.

"Is this about yesterday?" I had no idea where my gumption came from. My usual practice of avoiding anything awkward was conspicuously absent. Perhaps it was how he'd called me out or presumed to know me, but I wanted to clear the air.

"Yesterday? No. Why?" His expression softened enough to look smug. I wanted to smack that smugness right off his face. Mostly I didn't like that he knew something so personal about me, especially when I knew nothing about him.

"Well, I acted out of line, and for that I owe you an apology. I rarely drink more than I can handle. I thought perhaps that might be why you're being so offensive."

He sighed and fidgeted nervously. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"Well, how exactly did you expect me to react?" I lifted my chest defiantly.

"I was just stating facts. It wasn't meant to be personal."

Was he serious?

"Really? Well, I guess you won't be getting any awards for being the most self aware then, will you?"

He lowered his eyes to his desk.

I was never this confrontational, and I immediately felt bad.

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice losing its vitriol, "that was rude."

"I guess I deserved it." He looked away, his sharp jaw tense.

That was it? No 'I'm sorry, too' or 'I was out of line'?

He looked at Rosalie and stood. "You can count on me for ten cases."

We followed his lead and stood. Apparently my little rant had convinced him to do business with us – a silver lining for the day. Rosalie stuck out her hand, and he politely shook it. I did the same. He held my hand for a moment longer than necessary and held my gaze. Was he silently apologizing? What was he trying to convey with his simple touch? I felt like my hand was melting into his. If he weren't so mesmerizing, it would have been creepy.

What the hell was with this guy? I wanted to simultaneously punch him in his smug face and kiss his beautiful lips.

Rose and I spent a few minutes talking to Carlisle, tasting wine and sharing stories before we left. He was so easy to talk to, and I wondered what gene had gone missing from his son.

"That was…interesting," Rosalie said as we pulled away, en route to Confidential.

"You think? That's one way of putting it. What was with him?"

"If I didn't know you, I'd say you two were fucking, but since I know that's not the case, I have no idea."

"What do you mean?" I asked, incredulous. I wasn't flirting.

At least not today.

"I don't know how to explain it, but there's something between you guys. It was as if I weren't even in the room," Rosalie said.

I _had_ forgotten she was in the room.

"I don't know if I'd say there's something between us. I admire his looks. He ignores or insults me. That doesn't constitute 'something'."

"Of course you don't think that. You're way too modest."

"At least I got to apologize." I tried changing the subject.

"Oh yeah, you apologized all right." Rosalie laughed and shook her head.

I spent that night as I worked thinking about him. I greeted my customers and oversaw the kitchen, but he was always on my mind. What had I done to earn such contempt from him? And why did I feel such a strong reaction to him? I craved indifference, but it was futile.

Thankfully, I was extremely busy the rest of that week, so I had some form of distraction. I was making some modifications to the menu and wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

Late one Friday night, as the last of our customers left, Rosalie pulled a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from the cellar and waved it at Alice and me in invitation. A nice glass of wine sounded perfect after a busy night, a busy week.

Rosalie moved behind the bar and grabbed three glasses and an opener. Alice and I slumped down into the barstools as Rose filled our glasses.

I took a sip and nodded in appreciation. It was excellent.

"What is this?" I asked, grabbing the bottle and spinning it so I could see the label.

I recognized the label immediately, wondering why this man kept invading my thoughts. Couldn't I have a nice glass of wine with my friends without him drifting in?

"Masenry," I deadpanned.

"It's good, isn't it?" Rosalie asked, holding her glass up to the light as she swirled it around. "They really did an outstanding job with this one."

Whatever I thought about Edward Cullen, I had to admit he knew what he was doing when it came to wine. "It's excellent."

Of course it was excellent.

Rosalie looked at Alice. "Did Bella tell you about our trip over to Masenry after our wine tasting day?"

Alice looked back and forth between Rosalie and me, raising her eyebrow disbelievingly. "You went back? I'm impressed."

Rosalie nodded and smiled, apparently waiting for me to fill in the details.

"Yeah," I said, inspecting my wine to avoid eye contact. "We went back. I wanted to apologize."

"And did you?" She tapped her fingers on the side of the glass, obviously unhappy with how slowly this conversation was going.

"I don't know what to think. I found out that he totally heard us talking about him. He reiterated what I'd said word for word. He was being almost cute about it. I'm telling you guys, he came up behind me and was standing so close I could feel his breath. The guy is fucking intoxicating. But then he started really being a prick, saying how I'm just like all the other celebrity wannabe chefs who come to the Valley, and how it's people like me who are ruining Napa. Blah, blah, blah. How could he just switch gears like that? Then he got all broody, almost apologetic. Three different moods in one conversation. I was seriously pissed at him for making me feel horrible when he was the one who was rude and contradictory."

Alice turned to face me, crossing her legs. "How did he even know anything about you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, but he knew stuff. He knew about my write up in _Food and Wine_. And he knew about Aro. And the night at the Harvest Ball, he said he knew who I was."

Rosalie didn't seem fazed. "This is a small town, and anytime a new restaurant opens up, it makes the papers. Confidential has been getting great press. I'm sure he's just read about you. It's not like he's stalking you or anything."

"Yeah, you're right. But why would he be so offensive?" I was still confused by his actions.

Rosalie nodded. "Bella, if you could have seen you two, you'd have thought the same thing I did – that something was definitely going on. You guys were dancing around each other. I kept waiting for a movie ballad to start. Then he snapped out of it. It was weird."

"Who the hell knows why he acts the way he does?" Alice answered. "He's been standoffish to me before, too. Maybe he thinks it's part of his charm. Just ignore him."

I took a sip of my wine. "I don't want to ignore him."

Rosalie slammed her glass down. "I knew it! You're interested in him, aren't you?"

I sighed. "First of all, even if that was true, he dates supermodels. Second of all, it's not like that. I just want to know why he thinks so poorly of me."

"Why do you care?" Alice asked, unimpressed.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. Maybe I like torturing myself. And believe me, it was torture – in a lot of ways."

"I'm serious. Aside from being fun to look at, he's been nothing but rude," Alice pressed.

"Well yes and no. Like I told you a minute ago, when we were in his office looking at a picture of him and his dad, who's Carlisle by the way, he let his guard down. He seemed vulnerable, nice even. I have no idea what it means, but if anyone else had stood that close to me, I would have backed away. And he could have embarrassed me so badly about what I said in his tasting room, but he didn't. He let me know he knew, a little too smugly if you ask me, but it could have been so much worse. He was almost flirty, and I just ate it up like an attention-starved teenager. I should have been upset with him, but I don't know…it's like I want to see what's underneath his hard exterior."

"You want to see what's underneath his clothes," Rosalie said.

"Rose, God. No. I won't deny I like looking at him, but I don't know. He just…he intrigues me."

Rosalie misunderstood my intentions, and Alice disapproved of them. Thankfully, they both dropped it.

Once again, Edward occupied my thoughts as I slid into bed that night. It wasn't just the sexual fantasies, although they were vivid and wonderful. It was the man himself. I wanted to know what made him tick. I wanted to crawl inside his head, and I had no idea why. Alice was right; he hadn't been nice to me. But I saw something more in him.

He saw me as part of the problem in Napa. I wanted to change his mind.

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**A/N: So now we know a little more about why Edward feels the way he does about Bella. It's too bad we can't help who we're attracted to. Hang in there with me, guys. There's a method to the madness!**

**Don't forget to check my profile for pics!**

**Thanks for the reviews and alert adds. They make my day!**

**My betas ROCK! This chapter practically gave me heart failure, and they were right there for me! Same with my pre-readers. *sigh* I have a great team. **

**Next up, Bella's getting settled in Napa…**


	6. Chapter 6 Manners

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 6: Manners**

I was having a dinner party for the first time since moving to Napa, and I was excited. I hadn't entertained at all since I got here, which was something I loved to do, so I really wanted it to be something special.

Rosalie was coming but unfortunately Alice had to work. I needed someone at the helm. I'd also invited my friend Emmett and one of my managers Angela and her husband Ben. It wasn't a huge group, but I thought the personalities would mesh well. My new friends helped me feel more settled, and I was happy to be getting them together.

Having been introduced on several occasions, Emmett and I had spent some time talking at the Harvest Ball. He managed one of the upscale resort and spas in the Valley and had a lot of connections and experience. In addition, it turned out he was from Portland, so we had a lot in common, both being from the Pacific Northwest. It was nice to talk to someone who knew the places that held a special place in my heart from my childhood. We'd kept in touch since then and had become friends. He was very outgoing and social and made me feel comfortable instantly, an effect he had on almost everyone he met. What I loved most about him was his sense of humor, he didn't take himself too seriously, and I needed a little lightheartedness in my life.

Angela was probably the nicest person I'd ever met, and I was very fortunate to have her on my management team. I felt like my mere existence corrupted her, and I constantly had to watch my potty mouth around her. I doubted she cared, but cussing in front of her felt like cussing in front of Mother Theresa. Everyone at the restaurant loved her – both the customers and staff. She was a good listener and a very effective manager. I didn't know Ben that well, but the few times we'd met, he seemed very nice.

Rose and I had become close since the beginning of the construction of Confidential in the spring. She was one of the first to join my team and was a huge asset to me in planning and making my vision for an elegant and comfortable vibe come to life. She was also unapologetically brazen, which I secretly admired but would never admit. I had a feeling from some things she'd disclosed about her life that her last relationship hadn't ended well, and she'd moved to Napa to get a fresh start.

She was constantly harping on me to relax and let loose - something she and Alice had no problem doing and they always seemed to get me out of my shell. They brought out my inner delinquent. I had come to love them both like sisters, and so I was really happy about my circle of friends coming together. In addition, I had a notion she would hit it off with Emmett. He seemed like her type; tall, dark, handsome and funny. He'd been bugging me about meeting her ever since he'd run into her at Confidential several weeks before.

I wanted everything to be perfect for the party. The meal was going to be a takeoff on the classic Thanksgiving feast, paying homage to the season. I was planning on making a stuffed turkey roulade, roasted baby red potatoes and a green salad. Rosalie offered to bring the dessert, so I gladly took her up on the offer. Even though desserts were my favorite things to make, I knew I wouldn't have the time to get everything I wanted done.

I had spent most of the morning prepping, and finally had a shopping list ready. I was uncharacteristically late, which was unsettling. I would have to hurry to get back in time to get the turkey in the oven.

I threw on a pair of jeans and a simple black t-shirt and ran out the door.

The grocery store was crowded, which made it slow going. I kept glancing down at my watch. I hated being off my schedule, especially when it came to cooking. Anyone in the food world could tell you – chefs are _never_ late.

My phone rang as I pushed the cart through the aisles, and Emmett's number appeared on my caller id.

"Emmett," I said, holding the phone with my shoulder as I grabbed something off the shelf. "What's up? Don't tell me you're not coming after all the grief you've been giving me about meeting Rose."

He laughed on the other end of the line. "_No way. I'd never miss a dinner party by my favorite chef. Do I look stupid to you? Actually, I'm a little embarrassed, but I can't find the address to your place_."

I bit my nail nervously. I was a chef for Christ's sake; you'd think I could handle a dinner. "I'm running late."

"_You? Late? What happened? Did you get pinned under something heavy?"_

"I know. I know. And today of all days. Listen, if I don't get going, I won't have time to make the appetizer. I'm still at the store, and based on the crowds, I'm not leaving anytime soon."

"_Sure, no problem. You sound stressed. Why don't you let me bring the appetizer? I know a place that has a great salmon spread. I'll pick it up on the way."_

I thought about his offer and had to admit I could use the help. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"_Nope. Not at all."_

"You're the best, Emmett. That's why I love you so much."

"_Anytime, princess. See you tonight."_

I threw the phone absent-mindedly into my purse in the cart and spun around to go to the next aisle. I needed to get out of the store and home cooking as quickly as possible.

I looked up just as I was about to run over a woman standing in my way. She practically had to leap aside to avoid being hit by my cart.

"I'm so sorry, miss," I said, still flustered. "I hope I didn't hit you."

She looked perturbed. "You should watch where you're going," she said rudely, brushing her black leather skirt as though I'd gotten it dirty. She had on a silky white top and black heels. She was really stunning, albeit unnecessarily bitchy.

"It was an accident…"

Just then Edward Cullen stood up next to the woman. I hadn't even noticed him before in my frantic state. He was picking something up off a bottom shelf.

He slid his arm around her back and gave me an icy stare.

I'd forgotten how breathtakingly gorgeous he was. He was wearing well-tailored black pants and a grey dress shirt. Together, they looked entirely too dressed up for the grocery store.

I so didn't need his head games at that point.

Today was about having fun and relaxing.

"Hello, Edward," I said cheerfully as I managed to pick my jaw up off the floor. "It's been a while. How are you?"

He had been quick to judge me harshly, but I still wanted to change his mind and felt bad about the iced tea incident. I decided to take the high road.

His date didn't look impressed by me and darted her eyes back and forth between me and Edward, probably wondering how he knew me and why he would stoop so low as to associate with someone so common.

I internally rolled my eyes. He was always surrounded by such conceit.

"Ms. Swan," Edward said coolly.

We were back to Ms. Swan? It perturbed me, especially after what I'd come to think of as "our moment" in his office. There had something more there between us, just for an instant.

"Call me Bella." I didn't know why I was being so nice to him when it was clearly not returned.

His face softened, so I softened too. I felt it again – the connection.

And then it was gone. "Bella it is, then. This…uh…" he pointed to his date "…this is Katherine. Katherine, this is Bella Swan."

I stuck out my hand to shake hers, but she gave me a limp, wet fish handshake, as if I wasn't even worth a firm grip. My father would have chopped off my hand if I'd ever had such rude manners.

My eyes left her and went to Edward. "What are you guys doing here? You aren't exactly dressed for grocery shopping."

He smiled. I melted a fraction. It was the little things in life that made me happy.

He shifted nervously on his feet. "Oh, we're heading to a friend's house, and she asked me to bring a few things."

He had friends? Of course he did. Beautiful, conceited friends.

"And you? What brings you here?" His face was soft, and dare I say, interested.

I was shocked he was making conversation.

"Well, I _am _dressed for grocery shopping," I said timidly, glancing down at my jeans. I wished I'd put in a little more effort. "So, yeah…"

"So you are," his bitchy model girlfriend said, scrunching her nose as if I smelled bad.

The shock must have shown on my face. I'd never had someone be so blatantly rude to my face before. Even Edward looked a little taken aback. Why would he be attracted to a woman like that? Did her stunning good looks make up for her poor manners? Obviously they did to him. I pushed back my jealousy.

I couldn't help feeling inadequate, as Katherine, or Bitchy Girl as I quickly dubbed her, towered over me. She was almost as tall as Edward and actually had the supermodel body I had given myself in my dreams. Her legs were endless, and her outfit looked tasteful but put her assets on display. Her skirt was tight, and her silky top was clearly giving away the fact that she had my bra size bested by a cup, maybe two. She looked like one of those catalog models selling lingerie intended to make you look naturally endowed. Well, clearly she was naturally endowed…or at least surgically endowed. And the top I had on was cut low enough that it was probably obvious I shopped in those catalogs for a reason.

Without thinking, I stood a little taller and sucked in a breath, trying to show I could be confident, too. Edward cleared his throat, and I looked up to see his gaze slowly leaving my chest to look me in the eye. He had the decency to look a little sheepish and maybe little hungry. Great, I had inadvertently called his attention to my non-existent cleavage. He didn't look like he minded, and I wondered if maybe he knew the old saying that anything more than a handful was a waste. Maybe that was part of what was making Bitchy Girl cranky.

"Are you having a party?" Edward asked, glancing at the massive amount of food and alcohol in my cart.

"I certainly hope so. Otherwise I'd be quite the glutton, wouldn't I?" I said, laughing uncomfortably and intentionally trying to keep the mood light.

Bitchy Girl shrugged as if gluttonous was an appropriate word to describe me. I wanted to tell her not all of us could live off a head of lettuce a day and kick her bony little ass.

"With your boyfriend?" Edward asked, forcing my attention on him and off his date. He really did seem interested, his piercing gaze never leaving my face.

"My boyfriend? Huh?" I was confused.

"You know, on the phone before." He nodded his head slightly to where I had been standing and talking on the phone, jogging my memory.

"Oh, you mean Emmett?" I pointed over my shoulder to the same spot as realization set in. "He's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend. But, yeah, I'm having a little dinner party."

"Won't that be fun," Bitchy Girl interjected, faking a smile.

It was my turn to glare. "That's the idea." I faked a smile back.

"Well, your guests are very lucky to have one of Napa's premiere chefs hosting."

Bitchy Girl sighed dramatically. Not letting the shock I felt at Edward's near compliment register, I decided I'd had enough of them - or her, anyway. "Well, it's been such a pleasure meeting you, but I have to finish my shopping. It was nice to see you, Edward."

"Yes, We should get going as well." Edward seemed in a hurry to end the awkward exchange.

I managed a smile and moved past them.

I didn't want to look back. I wanted to stay strong and make a strong exit. I wanted him to know I wasn't affected. But the weak part of me won out, and I glanced over my shoulder. Edward's arm was on the small of her back, leading her away, but he was looking over his shoulder at me.

I couldn't read his expression, but just as I was about to turn back around, I saw him mouth the word, S_orry_.

Had hell frozen over?

I was shocked, but secretly pleased. It was somehow comforting to know that, at the very least, he recognized good manners. Before today, I wasn't sure. He had left with her, but he was looking firmly at me. I smiled and shrugged, somewhat smug.

How he could have been Carlisle's son still eluded me. I wondered what he was thinking being with a woman like Katherine. He was the most confounding man I'd ever met. One minute he was glaring at me and the next he was making small talk about my supposed boyfriend and my dinner party. And I had never been so disarmed by someone's looks. I had been accustomed to meeting celebrities and models in New York, but there was something about Edward that made me feel like a teenager with a high school crush.

I finished my shopping quickly and headed home. My tight schedule had gotten even tighter with my run-in with Edward.

I managed to get the turkey prepped on time, which was no small feat. Even though I'd made the stuffing ahead of time, I had bought the turkey whole, preferring to do my own boning and butterflying—I had my standards after all. But this meant I was hustling by the time I laid the rolled and tied bird onto the rack for roasting. I'd intentionally picked a meal that could be made ahead of time so I didn't have to spend the entire night in the kitchen instead of socializing with my guests.

Once the main dish was assembled, I realized I had a few minutes before I had to get in the shower. I decided to call Peter back as he'd called me the day before, and we hadn't connected yet.

"_Bella?"_ Peter said as he answered the phone. The background noise was loud, and it sounded like he was at a party or something.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"_Oh, my friend Charlotte is having a little soiree tonight."_

I made a snotty face. _Charlotte was having a 'soiree'?_ I sounded sarcastic even in my head. Perhaps Edward's Bitchy Girl had rubbed off on me.

"Oh, well good. I'm finally having some friends over, too. I'm making that amazing…" I stopped talking. He obviously couldn't hear me. Some little gathering; it sounded like a full house.

"_Let me go in the other room_," Peter yelled into the phone. I could hear him talking to people as he passed, and then I heard a door close and it was quiet. "_Sorry about that. What's going on?"_

I fell back on the couch in my living room and propped up my feet. "Nothing special. I just haven't talked to you, so I wanted to call and say hi."

"_Sorry we've been missing each other. I've got two cases that are kicking my ass right now." _

I felt my initial irritation diminish. "It's okay. I understand. Who's Charlotte? Do I know her?"

"_Uh…she's just an attorney at my firm. I don't think you've met."_

"Oh. So, when are you coming out to visit? I want to show you the restaurant."

We'd talked in general terms about him making a trip out soon, but he wouldn't commit.

"_I'm not at my desk, so I don't have my calendar, but we'll get it booked soon."_

It was always soon. I had asked him several times to book a flight, but I knew there was no point in pushing him, especially since he wasn't at home at the moment and couldn't really do anything about it.

"I wanted to tell you I'm so excited," I said, changing the subject to something lighter. "Last week, we had Carmen Menendez in the restaurant. She's this amazing food critic. Anyway, if she does a write up on Confidential, it could really mean good – "

"_Bella, listen, sweetie," _Peter interrupted_. "I really want to hear about this, but I'm in Charlotte's guest bedroom right now. I feel like I'm being kind of rude. Can we talk tomorrow?"_

I rolled my eyes. It was always something with him. He was supposed to be my confidante, but it certainly didn't feel that way lately.

"Sure, yeah. We'll talk tomorrow."

"_I love you_," Peter said in a voice meant to soothe me. A moment later I could hear the sounds of the party again. Apparently he'd rejoined the group.

"Yeah, you too." I clicked the phone closed and sighed.

Pushing up off the couch, I decided I didn't want to get upset over this. I mean, it _was_ rude to talk on the phone while at someone's house. Maybe I was over-thinking this.

Thankfully, I didn't have time to dwell on things. I had a party to put on. With the turkey in the oven, I had a little time to make sure the house was in order. Thank God Emmett was bringing the appetizer. There was no way I could have pulled it off in addition to everything else.

The table was set with my finest – crystal, china, linens, the works. I'd purchased some flowers in gorgeous fall colors, which were prominently displayed as a centerpiece. I had to admit, my house really looked great.

Feeling confident, I went into my bedroom to get ready. Tonight was casual, but I wanted it to be special. It was times like these that I missed having Peter around. I missed having someone to talk to about the stupid little things that happened each day, like how pretty my flowers were or the great deal I got on the turkey. It was stupid stuff really, but the little things made a difference to me.

The doorbell rang, and I hoped it was Rosalie. She'd mentioned stopping by a little early to see if I needed any help.

"I brought my finest Port and a flourless chocolate cake for dessert," she said, pushing past me into the house.

I grabbed the bottle so she could put down the rest of her stuff and said, "You, my friend, are a lifesaver."

"Well, let me tell you, no one wants to be the one to bring food to a chef's house, so don't expect Confidential quality. After all, I'm no Bella Swan, but at least I can vouch for the Port."

I laughed. Angela and Ben had expressed similar concern about bringing food, as if I cared. I was just happy to have the company.

"Oh, you'll never believe who I ran into at the store today," I said over my shoulder as we walked into the kitchen. "Edward Cullen."

Rosalie's eyes perked up. "And how is Mr. Cullen these days? Still getting to you?"

"Unfortunately, yes. His date was a huge bitch. Beautiful like the others, but WOW, not a nice girl."

"So you're saying they were perfect together?" Rosalie laughed. "God, I crack myself up."

"Actually, he was being kind of rude at first, but then he apologized for his date."

"She must have been really bad for him to apologize for her. He seems to have a pretty high asshole threshold."

"I know, right? I was shocked. He even asked me questions. You know, like a normal person."

She pinched my cheeks. "You're breaking him down with your irresistible charm."

"I'm not trying to break him down. I just want him to treat me nicely. Is that too much to ask? I'm obviously going to see him around, so why not be nice?"

"He's wired differently."

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Well, you know what I think already, so I won't say it again."

"Rose, I'm not sleeping with him."

She popped a nut in her mouth from a nearby dish and smirked. "Not yet anyway." She turned and peeked into the oven. "What's cooking? It smells delicious."

I told her about the meal as she poured us both a glass of wine. She seemed as impressed with my menu as I was with her wine selections.

Emmett showed up a few minutes later, and Ben and Angela weren't far behind.

The night was going well. Dinner turned out perfectly, which was a huge relief. Rosalie took an instant liking to Emmett, and there were definitely some sparks between them. I smiled wistfully as I watched them interact. There was something sweet about watching two people who had a mutual attraction to each other. Emmett watched Rosalie's every move and vice versa.

"Thanks for a great meal," Emmett said as he came into the kitchen with dirty dishes in his hands. "You outdid yourself."

"Somehow I don't think the dinner was all you liked," I said, flashing a devious smirk. "You're not very subtle."

He laughed softly. "No, I guess I'm not."

"I'm just giving you a hard time. I think you and Rosalie would make a great couple. You should ask her out."

His face lifted as if he was thinking it over. "Maybe I will."

We walked back into the dining room and finished clearing the rest of the dinner plates. Everyone was stuffed, but we all managed to save a little room for Rosalie's chocolate cake and Port.

"Bella, can you give me a hand?" Rosalie asked as she stood.

I got up and we walked into the kitchen together.

"So, tell me more about Emmett," Rosalie said the minute we were out of ear shot.

"I wondered how long it was going to take you to ask me about him."

"Well? What's the scoop?"

"I don't have anything negative to say about him. I mean, I haven't known him that long, but what I've seen has been great. He's been a good friend to me. And you'll be happy to hear, I don't think he dates all that much. He told me he's particular about women. But he asked me about you again earlier."

Her face lit up. "He did?"

I nodded as I began to serve the cake. "He was very impressed."

That seemed to make her night, and we joined the rest of the group in the dining room; Rosalie was all smiles.

I was happy for them, but at the same time, I missed having someone special with me - someone who I couldn't wait to spend time with and vice versa. I wanted someone who looked at me the way Emmett looked at Rosalie tonight. I wondered if Peter and I had ever felt that connection.

It was silly, but I was jealous.

I briefly wondered if this whole moving to Napa thing had been a mistake. I'd been so anxious to get out here I hadn't even stopped to think about the ramifications. I was proud of my accomplishments and so happy with the way the restaurant was being received, but it was taking a toll on my relationship. Peter and I had invested a year in each other, and I just walked away. I realized we were technically still together, but it wasn't the same as being with someone everyday. Had I blown my chance at true love with him? Would he wait for me? Had I sacrificed my shot at personal fulfillment for my career?

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**A/N: So Bella's getting a little antsy with the status quo. She's not enjoying seeing Edward out with other women, especially ones who she doesn't feel are good for him. And then she's not getting much from Peter. What's a girl to do?**

**Pictures are on my profile, as usual. **

**Thanks, as always, to my awesome betas, TwiHart and Viola Cornuta. This chapter in particular was brain damage for me, and they were very helpful. Also, much love to my pre-readers, ellierk, Dana1779 and Sunfeathers. **

**Thanks so much for all the amazing reviews. I've loved your theories and suggestions! Keep 'em coming! **

**Next up…the proverbial $hit hits the fan! **


	7. Chapter 7 Enough

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 7: Enough**

Confidential had been getting busier and busier with the holiday season, which was both good and bad. It seemed as though my marketing efforts were paying off because we'd booked holiday parties through December, but it also meant I'd hardly had a day off in weeks.

Then there was Peter. Because of the time difference between New York and California, and the fact that I worked at night while Peter worked during the day, I had hardly talked to him. Plus, it didn't help that he now had Charlotte keeping him company, and probably keeping him warm. When I had time to think about it, I felt sad and a bit irritated. Something needed to give.

We were in the midst of the dinner rush when I found Alice in the kitchen. "Okay, Angela says the VIPs are in full force tonight, and we've got two parties of ten coming in on the half hour, so it's going to get crazy for a while," I said, while making a whirlwind tour through the kitchen. I was busy as hell but trying to make it seem as if I was calm and collected.

"I'm on it, chef," she reassured, never breaking stride. "Don't worry about anything."

"That's why I hired you. You're the best." I felt secure leaving the kitchen in Alice's capable hands and happy to have a chance to help greet our customers.

I walked back out to the front, stopping by the hostess stand beside Angela. She was swamped but was totally poised.

"What do you need from me?" I asked as I approached.

"Thanks for helping, Bella," she said, consulting the reservation list. "Can you take this couple here to table fifteen?"

She motioned to her right, and wouldn't you know it was Edward Cullen and yet another beautiful woman. Did the man ever see the same woman twice?

_Oh goodie_, I thought to myself. Maybe she'd be nicer than the last one. Did I want her to be nicer?

Still, I put on my professional face and walked over to them.

"Welcome to Confidential, Mr. Cullen," I said cordially.

"Call me Edward," he replied. So we were going to be on a first name basis? It was progress.

"Edward it is." I chuckled to myself. If I had called him Edward to begin with, he'd have probably told me to call him Mr. Cullen.

I motioned with my hand for them to follow me as I clutched their menus in front of me for dear life. Of course, it had to be him. If he hated the "new Napa" so much, what the hell was he doing at my restaurant? And with a supermodel, nonetheless.

"So, what brings you in tonight?" I asked over my shoulder as I walked through the restaurant to their table. Curiosity won out, and I couldn't help myself. "I admit I'm a bit surprised."

"It's my birthday," his date replied, obviously not accustomed to being out of the spotlight. "I've wanted to try this place since it opened."

"Well, Happy Birthday." It wasn't entirely sincere, but it was the most I could muster.

I ushered them to their table and was all smiles as I conveyed the daily specials. Edward's date did, in fact, seem nicer than the last. She was polite as I spoke, responding with "oohs" and "ahs" as I described each dish. There were two other observations I made as I stood at their table. She touched him – a lot. Every time I'd say something she liked, she'd wrap her arms around his and giggle like a child. The other observation I made was that she was very young, perhaps in her early twenties.

I tried to shrug it off. At least she seemed pleasant.

I left them at their table to enjoy their romantic birthday celebration in peace. I was a little bothered, but I was too busy to worry about who Edward Cullen was with and why.

I worked the floor, stopping to make conversation at each table. The guests were very pleasant and seemed to be having a good experience. I had only had one crisis so far tonight, when one of the servers dumped a bowl of soup into a customer's lap, but other than that, things were running smoothly. Accidents happened, and I dealt with them professionally.

As I moved through the restaurant, I tried to avoid looking over at Edward's table, but it was hopeless. I was curious, and I couldn't help it. A few times I noticed him and his date laughing casually and talking. If I were going just on body language, I'd say their date was going well. I didn't know how I felt about that. My mind was sending me conflicting messages; simultaneously telling me he was an ass and to stay away and then telling me to find out more.

Several times I caught him watching me with his usual intensity. What the hell? When had I become destined to answer for all the wannabe celebrity chefs of the world?

He and his date both had the halibut, which was one of my best sellers. At least I felt confident that he wouldn't criticize the food. I'd spilled iced tea on Edward the last time he was in, so I wanted this to be a better experience for him. They laughed over a bottle of Chardonnay and shared a dessert. I told myself it was my job and not stalkerish tendencies that required me to know these things.

"And how was everything tonight?" I asked just as they were wrapping up.

"Fine, thank you." Again with the abrupt attitude.

"Well, I hope you'll come back again soon. The wine is on the house. After the mishap from your last visit, I feel it's the least I can do."

Edward looked at me sharply and seemed more annoyed than appreciative, and his date looked confused. I felt as if I was intruding and quickly filled the silence again. "Well thank you for coming. Happy Birthday."

I turned and walked away. I was sick of making an effort for him. Even though there were times he seemed human, most of the time, I found myself frustrated.

They left, and I watched as the valet held the door to his silver BMW open for his leggy date, who slid in by his side. I wondered where he'd be taking her. Probably home for a night of passionate sex, something I hadn't done in a very long time, and something I definitely didn't want to think about Edward doing with someone else. My mind wandered to naughty thoughts of Edward in bed, so I shook it off and went into the kitchen to check on Alice.

"You look flustered," she said as soon as she saw me. "Don't worry, we got through the worst of it. It's downhill from here."

"Oh no, it's not that. I never doubted you, Alice."

She didn't look as if she was finished with that line of questioning, but she still had work to do and couldn't stop, for which I was thankful. How could I tell my friend Edward Cullen had gotten under my skin _again_? Neither she, nor Rosalie understood my fixation with him. Frankly, neither did I.

The next day, I had a million errands to run. I'd been working so much that I hadn't had a chance to do much for myself. I set my alarm for ten o'clock, hoping to be out by noon. I didn't get home from the restaurant until after one o'clock, so I was exhausted.

My first stop was to the post office, which naturally had a line out the door and only one person helping customers. Then I had to return some shoes I'd purchased on a whim the other day. What was I thinking buying four hundred dollar heels?

I was walking briskly along the street in town toward the shoe store, freezing my ass off and still irritated by how long I'd waited at the post office, when I passed by a small café. People were sitting at bistro tables along the front window, looking casual and relaxed as they enjoyed their meals. I wanted to be that carefree. The food smelled amazing, and I'd never been there. I walked in and was enveloped in a sunny, laid-back warmth and quaint furnishings. It was the ideal place for a weekend lunch in Napa.

There was a long counter and a glass display case, showing a wide variety of panini and salads. I hadn't had lunch, so I decided to take a break and grab some food.

I managed to snag one of the cozy window tables where I could people watch. It had been a long time since I'd taken even a few moments for myself, and I made a mental note to rectify that. It felt nice to relax.

The server arrived with my iced tea and panini. My stomach growled; I was hungrier than I thought. After I took my first bite, I wondered why I'd never heard of this place before. It was delicious. The cheese oozed out of the sides. The mild mozzarella was perfectly complimented by the basil and the pesto. I could easily get swept away in a great meal, and it reminded me why I love food so much.

I was nearly finished and totally comfortable when I saw Edward Cullen walking down the street. My mind screamed, _Oh, please no, not him again! _Yet my eyes were glued as he strolled past. For some reason, the windows made me feel less intrusive. He was with the same woman as the night before, and they were walking casually together. They weren't holding hands or touching, which was different from last night. She was definitely less bitchy than his last date and way more bubbly.

I inched down in my seat as they walked by the front of the café, hoping he wasn't coming in or that he hadn't seen me. I cursed my luck. I had no desire to run into him and 'Bubbly Girl.' I laughed to myself as I wondered if they spent their time fighting over the mirror. Of course that brought on images of the different ways they probably did spend their time. Unwelcome images from my dream of Edward with a supermodel wrapped around him assaulted me, although my traitor mind replaced her face with mine yet again. Finishing my sandwich momentarily distracted me from my daydream. I was quickly brought back to reality when I heard his voice.

"Bella?"

I looked up to see him standing at my table with his hand outstretched as he looked at me expectantly. He was dressed in dark jeans and a deepgreen cashmere sweater that enhanced his green eyes. . I must have looked a bit surprised, having been caught daydreaming about him, but I recovered.

"Edward. Or are we back to Mr. Cullen now? I never know with you." I said as I shook his hand.

"May I sit?" he asked, gesturing to the chair across from me.

"Where's Bub...uh...I mean…your date?" I asked, immediately giving away the fact that I'd seen him walk up.

He smiled, picking up on my slip. "She's in the shoe store down the block."

Of course she liked four hundred dollar shoes.

I nodded toward the front. "There's no server. You have to order up at the counter."

"That's okay. I'm not eating. Just passing time," he said, as he eased into the chair across from me.

"I keep running into you. I knew Napa was small, but this is ridiculous."

He leaned with his elbows on the table and the corners of his mouth curled into a seductive smile. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were following me."

"Hardly. You're not that interesting."

"Aren't I?"

He was so arrogant, yet he was right. I would never give him the satisfaction, though.

"To some, perhaps."

"So tell me, am I interesting to you?"

_Was he flirting? _

No time like the present to get some answers. "Do you enjoy toying with me?"

"I'm just making conversation, Bella."

I leaned forward and put my elbows on the table, our faces inches apart. The light from the window danced in his eyes and sparkled in the stubble that covered his chiseled jaw. "So your idea of conversation seems to have moved from tossing insults to flirting?"

He put his hand over his heart in a mock wounded gesture. "You crush my delicate self-esteem."

"Save the acting for your vapid models. Speaking of which, why aren't you with your date?"

He flinched and leaned back in his chair. "I don't like shopping, so I had time to kill. I saw you sitting here; You looked bored." He shrugged.

He took pity on me so he decided to grace me with his presence? I was fed up. "Can I ask you something?"

He folded his hands across his chest and looked at me intently. "Sure."

I sighed and gathered up my courage. Confrontation was not my forte. "What's your problem?"

He smirked. The bastard smirked. "My problem?"

"Yeah, your problem. Almost every time I see you, you glare at me or are rude to me. I know you hate me. I get it. Can you spare me the hot and cold?"

"I'm not rude to you."

He couldn't possibly be that dense, could he?

"Yes you are. I'm trying so hard to be nice to you, but you make no effort at all."

"I don't know what to say." He looked down at the table, and I almost felt sorry for the guy. Almost.

I continued with a little less vehemence. "I understand you think I'm a symbol of 'what's wrong' with Napa, but it can't just be that. I mean, you trot around Napa in designer suits with Victoria's Secret models wearing beaded dresses and four inch heels and then talk about how laid back the Valley is? And it's not just one girl; you've got a harem at your disposal. Yet you criticize me. You're a walking contradiction. I've seen you downright charming and jovial with other people, so I know you're not completely devoid of human emotions, so what makes me so special?"

"I was wrong about that." He looked up at me, almost apologetic.

"About what?"

"About you being what's wrong with Napa. I think Confidential is great."

As nice as that was, this wasn't just about the restaurant.

"Thank you, but that isn't what I asked."

I waited. He said nothing.

Finally, he spoke. "I don't hate you."

"I appreciate that, since I've done nothing to earn your hatred. But why are you so hot and cold all the time?"

"I don't mean to be."

I was unconvinced. "What does that even mean? Don't you have control over yourself?"

"I didn't expect this…"

I looked at him expectantly, waiting.

"It's complicated."

I wanted to scream. How could he talk and yet not actually say anything?

I pulled out a few dollars from my wallet with a flourish. If not talking to Edward Cullen was hard, talking to him was even worse.

I stood over him as he sat. "I don't need this. I've tried to be nice out of some ridiculous need I have to be accepted in this town, but right now, I don't care if you accept me or like me at all. I've tried talking to you, and all I get in return are glares and short one-line answers. I don't treat people that way, because I was raised to use manners. Having met Carlisle, I'm sure you know better."

"Bella, I – "

"Goodbye, Edward," I said, grabbing my coat off the back of the chair.

I had thought a lot about what I would say to him if I had the chance, but that was not it. I really wanted to scream in frustration. Was he playing games with me, or was that really the way he was? How exasperating.

The biting cold shocked me and brought me back to reality as I left the café. I was never like that. I hated confrontation and avoided it at all costs. Edward brought out the strangest emotions in me.

I went through the motions of my day finishing my errands, but my mind was with Edward Cullen back at the café. Had I been too hard on him? If I'd have stayed would he have suddenly opened up and started making sense? Had I been rash in my dramatic exit? He looked almost sad, which I couldn't decipher. Why the hell had he even come over to my table in the first place when the night before he'd been so short with me? Was he trying to be friendly or had he just come to make my life more miserable?

I put away my groceries when I got home, still obsessively thinking about what had happened with Edward, and threw on some sweats. I needed to unwind. I thought about calling Rosalie or Emmett, but I ultimately decided I needed to be alone.

A little while later, I called Peter, and we talked for a few minutes, but I wasn't much in the mood to chit-chat, and truth be told, I was still a little upset about how short he'd been with me lately. I cut our conversation short; I wasn't good company in my current state. I absently flipped through the channels on television, eventually coming to rest on _You've Got Mail_. Movies made falling in love and being in love seem so easy. Like you could meet someone and know you were meant to be with that person in an instant. I made a face at that thought. If only it were that easy.

I woke up some time later, the movie long over and an infomercial on in its place.

I couldn't stop thinking about my confrontation with Edward. It needed to happen. I couldn't continue walking around on eggshells every time he was around. He seemingly had no idea that his mood swings affected me so deeply. In fact, he didn't seem to know he had done anything wrong at all.

I briefly wondered if the reason he had a virtual revolving door of dates had more to do with his personality rather than his penchant for variety. It was entirely plausible _they _got sick of _him, _given what I'd seen. Maybe I'd given him too much credit or saw something that wasn't there.

For the first time since meeting Edward Cullen, I felt like I'd done all I could. Confronting him, although out of character for me, was therapeutic. No matter how influential he was in the community, I couldn't allow him to run over me.

As my mind wandered, though, I knew it was impossible to be unaffected by him. I thought of him taking that woman home and making love to her, and it made me crazy. It was irrational, and I had no right to such feelings, but I couldn't help it.

As I slid into bed that night, he continued to dominate my thoughts. For the fourth time in as many weeks, I let my hands wander on my body, envisioning his hands and his lips.

If I couldn't get rid of him in my dreams at night, at least I'd said my peace and could move on by day.

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**A/N: So Bella finally called him out on his crap! Wonder what he's going to do about it? ****A lot of you have wondered why Edward only dates bitchy, shallow women, but remember only the one in the story was bitchy. Not all of them have been.**

**Thanks to the deedreamer16 for the shout out on RAoR! I appreciate it very much!**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews everyone! Hang in there with me! You know I'll get to my point! I promise, we'll get there! Plus, we're only on chapter 7!**

**Much love to my team this week. My betas, TwiHart and Viola Cornuta, spent a lot of time with me on this one. Also, my pre-readers- ellierk, Sunfeathers, and Dana1779 make me smile! **

**Next up, we'll see what happens next time they meet. **


	8. Chapter 8 Progress

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 8: Progress**

I ran through the parking lot of Tra Vigne. I was meeting Rosalie and Emmett there for the semi-annual Napa Valley Vintners Association dinner. Reservations were hard to come by, especially during the holidays, so I was excited have an excuse to eat there.

Rosalie and Emmett were waiting for me by the door.

"Have you been waiting long?" I asked over my shoulder as we walked to the check-in table.

"No, we just got here," Emmett replied.

My friend Paul, the manager, was overseeing the check-in process with two younger women when we approached. He smiled when he saw me. "Bella, you made it. I saw your name on the list and was hoping I'd see you."

He came out from behind the table and gave me a hug.

"You know I'd never miss an opportunity to eat here. I practically did back flips when I saw Tra Vigne on the invitation."

"I'm glad. But you know I'll always hook you up here. You took great care of me and my family when we came in to Confidential last month. I'm happy to return the favor."

He led us through the well-appointed restaurant to a gorgeous table by the window. The restaurant was a Napa Valley landmark, having had one of the most successful runs of any restaurant in the Valley. The food was consistently good, as was the service. They always seemed to reinvent themselves, so each dining experience felt unique.

The Napa Valley Vintners Association had considerable clout in the region. Normally, it would cost a small fortune to rent out a restaurant such as Tra Vigne for the night, but everyone clambered to be the host for such a prestigious event.

"You have to try the bread," I said as soon as it was set down in front of us. "It's delicious."

We all reached into the breadbasket and helped ourselves. I was starving. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and had been too busy to slow down.

"Thanks for coming with us tonight, Bella," Emmett said, pulling Rosalie against his side. They were so cute together. I felt proud of myself for hooking them up.

"Of course. I couldn't let Rosalie have all the fun tonight. I love these events. I haven't been going out much, so this is a welcome change. The holidays get crazy."

"Now that you mention it, we wanted to talk to you about that," Rosalie said, pulling herself from Emmett's side and folding her hands on the table.

"What? The holidays?"

She shook her head and glanced at Emmett. "No, not the holidays. About what's going on with you."

The look of concern on her face had me worried. "Am I on suicide watch or something?"

"Not exactly, but we are worried about you."

I put my knife down, wiped my mouth, and tried to collect myself. "This sounds serious. Why are you worried? What's going on?"

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm concerned about your social life. You used to get out more. Lately, it seems like all you want to do is go home. I mean, the only reason you came tonight is because it's for work."

"Well, the restaurant has been crazy. You know that. It's just that time of year. It'll pass," I said dismissively.

"I'm worried it's more than that."

"Well, it's not. I've just been consumed with work, that's all."

She sighed and nodded. "I know you've been busy, but I work the same hours as you do, and I still manage to have a little fun."

"I have fun."

"No, you don't." Rose squared off at me.

I was starting to feel defensive. "Rose, please! Yes, I do."

She didn't back down. "I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings or anything like that. I'm your friend; I want you to be happy."

"I know that. But really, you don't have to worry."

"When was the last time you went out for fun? Did _anything_ fun?"

I winced, because the truth was, I hadn't done all that much. In fact, I could sort of see her point. It hadn't been intentional, though. I just hadn't felt like doing anything.

Emmett added his two cents. "It seems as if you're isolating yourself."

I was bothered that I'd been that conspicuous. The holidays were hard for me, this year in particular, being alone. Very few people my age really knew what it was like to lose a parent, especially when he was all I had. It consumed me at times, and it was easier to just stay home than it was to try and fake happiness.

"I'm fine. You guys are sweet to be concerned, but things are great."

"Are they?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, they are. So, yeah…" There was a bite in my voice, and I knew it was unfair to take it out on Emmett. He was only being a friend.

"How are things with Peter?" Rosalie asked, breaking my gaze from Emmett.

I sighed. "Why?"

"Well, I thought he might have something to do with it," Rosalie answered.

Maybe I did need to talk to someone neutral about what was going on, so I decided to open up a little about how I was feeling. "I'm sorry for being rude. Things with Peter…ah…I don't even know how to answer that. On one hand, this was what we agreed to. This was what I wanted. We were going to wait a year and see how things went. But it's been harder than I thought. And now he's got this girl in his office – "

She raised her voice. "Is he cheating on you?"

I shook my head and looked around nervously, hoping no one had heard her. "No…I don't think so. It's just…she's there, and I'm here...and he's so busy. You know?"

Emmett tried to comfort me. "Long distance is hard, even for the strongest couples."

I needed to get this off my chest. "I feel like I burden him with my problems too much."

"How does he feel about you being out here?" she probed.

"He tries to be supportive, but I think deep down inside he's hoping I fail so I'll move back to New York. I can't imagine him moving out here to be with me, so I don't know what's going to happen."

"That's shitty," Emmett said, shrugging his shoulders as he took a sip of his beer.

"Don't judge him, guys. This year has been an emotional roller coaster for both of us. Between my dad dying and my leaving, our relationship's really been tested. I was wreck when my dad died, and he really helped me through it. He was there for me. You guys didn't know me then, but my dad was everything to me. When he died, I thought I would die, too. Peter supported me when I was at my worst. I had no one else, but he was there. He didn't give up on me."

I thought about how things had been with Peter before I left. We were very different people, that's for sure. He enjoyed a lot of the aspects of the city I disliked. But we complimented each other in a lot of ways, too. He was never too needy. He never expected me to sacrifice my goals for him and valued my independent nature. It was just easy.

When I met him, I thought he was perfect. He was a gentleman and smart. He'd pursued me hard, and it felt nice to be so needed. He made me feel like a princess. Our relationship eventually settled into a comfortable routine, and by the time my dad died, we knew and understood each other. We never fought. We might not have always agreed on things, but we were respectful. I needed him.

Rose looked concerned. "Being grateful to him because he was there for you during a tough time isn't a good enough reason to stay with him. Are you still in love with him? I mean, you never talk about him."

I fidgeted with my napkin. "It's not that simple. Like I said, he's been there for me. I owe him for that. Without him, I'm completely alone. You don't know what that's like."

Emmett chimed in. "I haven't known you for that long, but you don't strike me as the type to stay in a relationship just because you're scared to be alone."

I felt defensive again. "I'm not scared of being alone, and I'm not staying with Peter because of that. I do love him."

"Do you?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes."

Emmett spoke again. "You're not alone, either. Just in case that _is_ the reason you're sticking it out with him. We're here for you, and Alice will always be here as well."

I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "I appreciate that, but it's not the same. You guys are my friends, and I value that so much, but it's different than having a boyfriend. You know? Anyway, it's not something I dwell on all the time either. You guys know me – I'm a happy person. It's just the holidays. It'll pass."

This conversation was hitting a little too close to home. The more I examined my relationship, the more I found needed examining, and that scared the crap out of me.

"_Should_ we put you on suicide watch?" Rosalie asked, wary.

I laughed, despite feeling uncomfortable. "No, I'm fine. I'm not sitting around trying to think of ways to off myself. I know you guys are just being nice, but you don't have to worry about me. I've got things under control."

Rosalie didn't look convinced, but I didn't have it in me to continue the conversation. "Just know that you can talk to either of us anytime, okay? You don't have to be Superwoman."

"But I look great in tights." I scanned my legs, trying to lighten the mood. Thankfully, Rose and Emmett just laughed and dropped it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward walk in with a small group of people, one of whom was a stunning brunette. He had his hand on her back, guiding her through the bar. I couldn't take my eyes off them. She had her dark hair pulled back into a low chignon at the base of her neck. Her long, jeweled earrings accented the length of her neck. She looked elegant. Her dress was a strapless cream color, which on anyone else would have washed them out and looked boring. She was beautiful. Of course she was beautiful - she was with him.

As beautiful as she was, though, he looked even more stunning. I wanted to be able to look away. I wanted to hate him. I did hate him. Except that I wanted to stare at him.

Rosalie followed my eyesight and smirked. "Peter who?"

I snapped out of it. The last thing I needed was another inquisition into my non-existent relationship with Edward Cullen or my damaged one with Peter.

It had been weeks since I'd told Edward off at the cafe, and yet he still had the same impact on me. I silently cursed him for that.

Of course, I knew I'd see him tonight. He was heavily involved with the NVVA and was to be a keynote speaker on modern winemaking practices later in the evening. There was a part of me that looked forward to hearing what he had to say, even if it didn't give me any insight into his psyche.

Thankfully, he hadn't seen me, so perhaps he could have some peace for the remainder of dinner. I always seemed to sour his mood.

God forbid his night in the spotlight get ruined because of me!

I excused myself to go to the restroom, telling myself I wasn't intentionally trying to catch Edward's eye – his table just happened to be on the way to the bathroom. It wasn't my fault.

I was such a liar.

I smiled as I meandered through the tables, trying to hide my nerves.

What the hell was wrong with me? I hated Edward Cullen!

He caught me staring at him, and I tried to look away quickly before he could glare at me and make me feel like a steaming pile of shit. But it was too late. The intense stare I'd come to know and expect was ever-present on his face. He tried to fake a smile as his date said something she apparently thought was hilarious, given her hyena cackle, but I could tell it was insincere. Part of me was happy about that. I mean, if he could make me behave irrationally, I could make him annoyed by my mere presence. Payback was only fair.

I made it to the bathroom cool and collected, at least externally, and set my purse down on the vanity. Why was I prancing around the restaurant trying to impress the unimpressable? I couldn't deny there was chemistry between us, there always had been, but it usually resulted in me feeling horrible. Seriously, what the hell was the matter with me?

Shaking it off, I pulled out some lipstick and reapplied. I needed to get a grip. This night was supposed to be about fun, and so far all I'd done is defend my boyfriend and engage in some strange game playing with Edward. I took a few deep breaths, smoothed my hair and turned on my heel to leave.

I emerged from the bathroom reinvigorated and ready to return to my friends and act like a normal person. I fidgeted with the clasp on my purse, and when I looked up, I saw Edward standing in the hallway nearby watching me closely.

I walked the short distance to him, never breaking eye contact. "What? Stalking me now? Things a little too happy with Hyena-girl?" I nodded toward the dining room. "Did you need a quick downer before you get back to her cackling?"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. Yes, I was mad at him for being so rude, but I wasn't usually cruel or catty. His date was probably a lovely person and didn't deserve my bitchiness. "I'm sorry. That was rude."

"Apology accepted," he said politely. "And to answer your question, no, I'm not stalking you. I had to take a call and thought it rude to do so at the table."

I hated the way I felt at that moment. I wasn't an angry person. "I'm not normally so short," I said, chuckling nervously as I pressed my fingers to my forehead. "What can I say? You bring it out in me."

He smiled and looked at the ground. I wanted to reach out and lift his chin so I could see his eyes. Despite his salty personality, his face was truly remarkable, especially when he smiled.

Just then, two men walked up. "Ah, Edward, there you are." One of the men reached out with one hand to shake Edward's hand and pat him on the shoulder with the other. "I want you to meet Marcus McClure. He's known your family for years, as I'm sure you already know, and has been a major contributor to the NVVA."

Edward shook his hand and then reached over and put his hand on the small of my back politely to introduce me. Inwardly, I flinched, every nerve focused on the feeling of his fingers on me. It was a simple gesture, but it felt intimate. I tried to focus on the men in front of me, but it was virtually impossible.

"May I introduce you gentlemen to Isabella Swan. Ms. Swan is the owner and Executive Chef of Confidential, a new and highly acclaimed restaurant here in the Valley."

Wow, he was saying nice things about me. I didn't know what to think.

I smiled and shook the men's hands and listened as Edward spoke. He was nothing short of dazzling, even throwing a few more compliments my way. It couldn't have been more opposite to what I'd seen of him prior to this.

One of the men turned to me, obviously sensing my exclusion from the conversation. "Tell us, Ms. Swan, how is it you came to be in Napa? Are you enjoying it here?"

I smiled warmly. "I worked for years in New York, but it's always been my dream to own my own restaurant. A friend from culinary school worked out here, and the rest, as they say, is history. I'm really enjoying it so far."

Edward leaned in a little closer to me and began to speak again. "Isabella worked for Aro Volturi, who I'm sure you've heard of." The men nodded in recognition. "She was his number two. I'm sure he was sorry to see her leave."

I looked at Edward, slightly shocked. I thought he hated Aro. I thought he hated _me_ for working for Aro.

"Aro may not have agreed with my reasons for leaving, but he respected my choice. I think he understood how we differed." I looked at Edward for a sign – anything that would tell me how he was feeling.

"Yes…" Edward looked right through me "…you _are_ quite different. I see that now."

I sighed, not knowing what to think. Was he acknowledging that he'd misjudged me? I tried not to read too much into it.

The men left, and I was once again left alone with Edward. He was back to being quiet since he was no longer the center of attention.

"Thank you for saying such nice things about me, Edward. I have to admit, I'm a little shocked."

"You're welcome. You know, I didn't do it to garner any favors. I do think Confidential is a great place."

"I appreciate that, but the last time I saw you, we weren't exactly on speaking terms. I certainly didn't expect you to sing my praises – you never do."

"I was raised to be a gentleman. I know you might not believe that, but I've never set out to intentionally hurt your feelings."

"Is that an apology? Are the stars aligned tonight?" I tried to lighten the conversation.

"I do owe you one."

I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall, not sure how to respond. "Well, this is different. But yes, you've been pretty hard on me."

"I'm sorry for that. I tried to stop you from leaving that day at the café…"

Just then, Marcus gestured to Edward and started moving through the crowds towards us. Apparently his time to speak had come. It couldn't have been worse timing; we were just making headway.

"I guess that's my cue." He nodded at Marcus.

I wanted to keep talking to him, but Marcus appeared at his side just in time to put a stop to it. "I know you have to go," I said, faking a smile. "Good luck with your speech."

"Listen, tonight's going to be tough for me to find time alone, with all the hoopla going on, but this…" he moved his hand between us "…this isn't finished. Are you working tomorrow? May I come into the restaurant?"

"You want to come eat at my restaurant?"

"No. I want to come see you."

The man could melt steel with his words. "Uh…sure. "

"It's settled then. I'll see you tomorrow." His voice gave away nothing.

And then he was gone.

He wanted to come see me.

Me.

I sighed loudly and walked back to my table, careful to avoid looking at Edward's cackling date. I couldn't handle my jealousy getting a tighter grip on me than it already had.

"Did you fall in?" Rosalie asked with a smile as I adjusted my chair.

"No, I just ran into the enchanting Mr. Cullen on the way back." I tilted my head in the direction of his table.

"And what did he have to say?" They both looked on curiously.

"He introduced me to some of the members of the NVVA. He was actually nice. He even complimented Confidential. But then when they left, he was back to being the same as he always his. You know, talking but saying _nothing_ that made sense. I don't understand him at all."

"Uh huh." Rosalie eyed me warily.

"No, seriously. The man can have entire conversations and not say anything at all."

"Well, whatever he said, he got you riled up."

"No, he didn't. I'm not riled up," I shrugged, feigning indifference.

"You're such a bad liar," Emmett said, laughing as he took a sip of his wine.

"So that's it? You two talked and that's that?" Rose asked.

"Not exactly. He's going to come into the restaurant tomorrow."

"And?"

"And nothing. He said he wants to come into the restaurant to talk."

"The question is: are you going to let him?"

"Who the hell knows? I can barely have a conversation with him without wanting to pull out each hair on his head one at a time. He's that frustrating."

"Frustrating. Hmmm, I can think of a better word for it," Rosalie said, smirking.

"Don't go there, Rose."

"Bella, when are you going to admit the truth to yourself?"

I shot her another glare. "Rose!"

She put her hands up in defeat, but the devious smile never left her face.

That night as I went to bed, I actually felt guilty for the way I'd talked to Edward, especially at first. He'd been nothing but an asshole to me on multiple occasions, and I was the one who felt guilty. But there were moments with him when I swore I could see something deeper. He seemed almost sad, and in moments like that, he seemed less like the asshole I took him for and more like a wounded little boy. I wanted to see that side of him more.

I must have drunk more wine than I thought.

The next day, I had to finish up some bookkeeping at Confidential before the lunch and dinner rush started. I enjoyed being there alone as it allowed me time to think.

Alice showed up around noon and found me in the office.

"How was Tra Vigne?" she asked, leaning against the doorjamb. "I wish I could have gone."

"It was fun. We'll have to get everyone together another night. Sorry you missed it."

"Well, someone's got to hold down the fort here. I'm glad you have fun. You needed a little fun."

I rolled my eyes. "Et tu, Alice?"

"What do you mean by that?" She moved toward the desk and sat down in the extra chair.

"Sorry. Emmett and Rosalie kind of grilled me last night about not getting out more."

She nodded. "Yeah, she mentioned something to me about it. She's just concerned. Don't be angry with her."

"I'm not angry. It just made me feel bad, you know? I'm doing the best I can."

"I know you are, but to be honest, I'm a little worried, too."

I lowered my head to avoid eye contact. "I'm just feeling a little emotional. It's hard this time of year without my dad. And Peter's so far away…"

"I can understand that. Just don't let it consume you or feel like you have to deal with it all on your own. You're only human, Bella. It's okay to ask for help."

"I know. Thanks."

"Oh, guess what else happened last night?"

She looked intrigued. "Do tell?"

"I saw Edward Cullen again."

"I don't know why you worry about him so much. He's a jerk."

"I know – I confound even myself." I felt myself wanting to defend him.

"I'm guessing he was a complete douche?" She rolled her eyes for effect.

"Actually, no. It wasn't like that. He was…I don't know…for a few minutes, he was kinda charming."

She looked at me skeptically. "Charming?" Clearly, she wasn't buying it.

"Yeah. He apologized for being so rude and said he never intended to hurt my feelings."

She gasped. "He did what?"

"It gets better. He's going to come into the restaurant today to see me."

"Shut up!" Alice's voice echoed throughout my office. "He is not."

"Yep," I said, popping the 'p' for emphasis. "He sure as hell is."

"What are you going to do?" Her leg was bouncing with nerves.

"I have no idea."

Truer words had never been spoken.

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**A/N: So, we're making progress. Edward's trying. Now, what's he going to say when he doesn't have a date or another distraction? We'll see next! Pics are on my profile. **

**Thanks to TwiHart and Viola Cornuta, my betas, for putting up with my constant changes. Also, thanks to my pre-readers: ellierk, Sunfeathers, and Dana1779 for the support. **

**Don't forget to leave me some love. I crave feedback, so please fuel the fire. I promise, I'm nice. I give teasers, too! **

**Until Tuesday! Don't forget to check The Fictionators and A Different Forest for additional teasers! **


	9. Chapter 9 Truce

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 9: Truce**

I tried to tell myself this was just like any other day at the restaurant. I helped Alice with the menu, got the servers prepped, checked the reservations. It was no big deal.

But it was, and I knew it.

Edward was coming to see me.

I paced and secretly monitored the door as the dinner rush started. I smiled and pretended to be engaged in what I was doing, all the while, waiting anxiously. I kept thinking I saw him, and my heart rate quickened for a second, only to have the person turn around to reveal it wasn't him. I'd feel relieved, then instantly nervous again. I was starting to feel a little crazy. He had that effect on me.

I never knew what to expect from him; he was unpredictable. Every other time we'd met, he'd had demands on his attention. This time, it would be just him – here for me. What would he say? The curiosity was killing me.

I was in the kitchen when Rosalie found me at the end of the dinner rush around nine o'clock.

"Bella, it's time!" she said with trill in her voice.

I looked around nervously. "Time for what? What happened?"

"Edward Cullen is in the bar. He wanted me to let you know he was here."

"Right now? Shit."

Rosalie laughed. "He looks hot, too."

"Rose…"

She threw her hands up in surrender. "I'm just sayin'…"

I was an absolute mess. Why did he have this power over me?

"Thanks for letting me know." I looked down and wiped my hands on my apron, trying to hide the fact I was a nervous wreck. I discarded the soiled apron and made sure my chef's coat was spotless.

She ducked down to catch my eyes. "You gonna be okay? I was just messing with you because I know he gets to you."

I took a deep, cleansing breath and smiled. "Oh yeah. I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Just don't let him be a jerk," Rosalie said behind me as I turned to walk away. It felt good knowing I was on my own turf with my friends who had my back around. It was also a good reminder for me to be prepared for anything with this man.

I grabbed a quick sip of water to calm me down and walked out into the dining room, feigning confidence and poise.

Edward was sitting in the corner seat at the far corner of the bar, looking every bit as handsome as Rosalie had said. He was dressed casually but still looked put together. I watched him for a moment as he took a sip of his beer, noticing the way his jaw flexed and his Adam's apple bobbed underneath his scruff-covered jaw. I was always dazed by his good looks.

He picked at the cocktail napkin underneath his beer, alternating his glances between the bartender and the flat screen television in the corner broadcasting some game.

I smiled watching him; he looked nervous. It was oddly comforting, but my stomach was still doing flip flops at the sight of him. I gathered my courage and made my way across the bar.

"So you made it after all. I wasn't sure you were serious last night," I joked as I approached him from the end of the bar. He hadn't seen me coming and jumped when I spoke.

"Sorry," I said softly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

He turned to see me stand at his side near the bar. The frown on his face softened into a smile. The man's smile was breathtaking.

"It's okay," he said, motioning for me to sit in the seat next to him. My knees brushed the outside of his thigh as I eased onto the adjacent barstool. He was even more blindingly handsome this close up, and I liked that I was close enough to notice he smelled wonderful, too.

I looked towards the well-stocked bar and quickly filled the awkward silence. I was still anxious to get the conversation going and trying to stay positive.

"Drinking beer? Tsk, tsk. Traitor. That's a serious offense in the heart of wine country, especially for a vintner like yourself."

He laughed and then smirked. "Well, I wasn't sure about the wine list here. I've heard it's kind of iffy, so…" He trailed off and took another sip of his beer. I watched as his crooked smile faded so he could wrap his full lips around the rim of the glass.

I realized I'd never heard him laugh before. I liked this side of him, however unfamiliar.

He was being nice, so I decided to play along. "Yeah, beer's probably a safe bet. You probably can't be objective about wine anyway."

He laughed again, and I felt more at ease. Then he asked, his tone turning serious, "Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Sure." I was busy, but I knew Rosalie and Alice would cover for me. There was no way I was going to deprive myself of his explanation.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight. I wasn't sure you'd be easily pulled away, and I didn't know if you would see me at all, given the fact that you told me off before."

"I'm not usually like that." I didn't know how else to explain my outburst. I had been angry at the way he had treated me. I had tried to remain professional, but I felt pushed to stand up for myself and couldn't bring myself to feel regret about it.

"You're quite an enigma; I'll give you that. I find myself at a loss for words around you."

_He_ was at a loss for words? I felt my knees go weak just being in his presence.

"Well, it doesn't show. You've had quite a few choice words for me. And a few nice ones."

I don't think I've been fair to you." He was still picking at the cocktail napkin nervously. I wanted him to look at me, but there was a part of me that was relieved. His penetrating gaze was unnerving.

I rested my elbow on the bar and glanced down. "Yeah…about that…I just want to know why? What made you hate me so much?" I sounded insecure, and I hated it, but my need for answers was getting the best of me.

I thought I saw a slight wince at my words, but his face quickly became stoic. "I don't hate you," he said evenly.

"Then what's with the icy glares and harsh criticism? Why do you treat me as if I'm some sort of social pariah? And then last night, you were really complimentary. I don't understand you."

"I'm sorry if I made you feel as if I didn't like you." He still wasn't looking at me, which was fine because I wasn't looking at him, either.

"You did."

"Did what? Hate you?" Our eyes finally met, and I saw none of the arrogance or indifference, but I still couldn't read his expression.

"No, I mean…maybe you did. How the hell do I know? What I meant was…you did make me feel that way. You scowled at me and insulted me and my career. What was I supposed to think?"

"I guess you had every right."

I could not sit there and listen to cryptic talk again. I felt my blood pressure rising, and I didn't know if it was because of my maddening attraction to him or my frustration with his taciturn communication style. It was probably both, but I was losing patience.

"Can't you just talk to me? I'm a nice person. Am I that hard to talk to?"

"No, Bella, you're not. That's the problem." He shifted his eyes toward his cocktail napkin again.

"Then what is it? Why is it every time I see you, you treat me like I'm spoiling your mood?"

"I expected you to be like the others. When I heard about your restaurant opening, there was a write up about you. I saw that you were coming from New York, from Volterra, and I made an assumption about you. I'm sorry for that."

"What assumption did you make?" He was talking now, and I hung on his every word. "Did you think I was some fame-seeker or something?"

"Yeah, I did. Napa's always been low key, and I didn't want a hot-shot New Yorker coming here thinking she knew everything, especially one like Aro."

"Wow…that's pretty harsh. And completely off the mark."

"I know it wasn't fair to judge you like that."

"You don't know anything about me."

"No, but I'd like to."

I was stunned silent. He wanted to know more about me. I immediately thought of Peter and felt guilty. I needed to make sure the boundaries were in place, as I could easily lose my footing around Edward. I didn't mind having a friendship with him, but I could barely keep my lust for him in check. I didn't want him to think anything more was going on, at least until I'd ended things officially with Peter. Maybe not even then – we weren't exactly in the same league. Sure, he was gorgeous and had been the object of my fantasies, but he definitely fell into the "look but don't touch" category.

"I don't know how to respond to that," I said honestly.

He turned to face me. "Let me show you around Napa. The next time you have a day off, let me show you Napa as I know it."

It sounded like he was asking me on a date, which was hilarious given the women I'd seen him with.

Wait, I had a boyfriend.

"I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate me going out with another man."

Cue awkward pause.

He scratched the back of his neck and made an awkward face. "Well, I can't blame him. I wouldn't want my beautiful girlfriend going out with another man either, but this won't be a date. Think of it more as a personalized tour guide. I…I don't know…you just…I feel the need to redeem myself. We got off on the wrong foot."

I felt like a fool for even thinking he meant anything by his invitation. I mean, he dated supermodels. Still, I was glad it was out on the table anyway. Even if he had no intention of pursuing me, I would have felt guilty if he didn't know up front about Peter. I also didn't want him to think I was pursuing him. It was bad enough he knew I had fantasized about him.

"Okay, then that sounds nice. I'd like that. Thanks." I managed to hide my embarrassment.

"What day do you have off?" His face had grown soft again, and he had stopped picking at his napkin, the nerves seemingly gone. His broad shoulders and body angled in my direction, and his head tipped down to meet my gaze, giving me his full attention. I suddenly felt hot, and my heart raced again.

I thought for a moment. "Uh…Tuesday. It's not the most happening day, but that's what I get working in the restaurant business."

"Tuesday it is. I'll meet you here at 11:00? Does that work?" He threw some money on the bar and stood as well.

"Yeah, that's fine. I should probably get back to work," I said, pointing over my shoulder at the hostess stand, which was crowded with people.

"Right. Sorry for keeping you." He motioned for me to walk ahead of him as we approached the entrance, and I was instantly self-conscious again about his eyes on me. "Thank you for speaking with me tonight."

We stopped right in front of the door. I felt as if my knees might buckle underneath me.

"I appreciate the things you said, Edward, and I'm flattered you want to get to know me."

His gaze was sincere and still penetrating as he leaned down slightly and lowered his voice. "I'm sorry I was an asshole."

I waved my hand to expel my nervous energy and smiled. "Just don't do it again. I'll see you Tuesday?"

"Yeah. I'll see you then."

I waved as he left, feeling like the _Twilight Zone_ music should have been playing. He wasn't rude. He apologized. He wanted to get to know me. But most of all, he was going to spend the day with me showing me around the area from an insider's point of view. I found myself eager to see what Edward's Napa would be like. Where would he take me? What would we do? He was a puzzle - one I had given up trying to solve, but within days, I was back to being as curious as ever.

I needed emotional support for this. My brain almost couldn't process it.

I walked into the kitchen in a daze. Alice seemingly hadn't even noticed my absence.

"How are we doing out there, Chef?" she asked, shuffling plates to the prep area.

"Uh…fine. Can I talk to you in the walk-in for a minute?"

She set the plates down, and we walked into the large walk-in refrigerator for some privacy. I needed to cool down a bit after my Edward encounter.

"Everything okay?" she asked, wiping her hands on the towel tucked at her waist.

"Remember how I told you Edward Cullen was coming in tonight?" I bit my fingernail nervously.

"Wait, was he just here?" Alice looked around as if she might see him.

I nodded in slow motion, still unsure how to proceed. "He was. Alice, he was nice. He even apologized for being such a jerk. Get this; he's going to meet me here on Tuesday to show me around Napa - as kind of an olive branch."

Alice crossed her arms. "Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, what about Peter?"

"I told him about Peter, and he's okay with it. Let's be honest, there's no way he would be interested in me. Have you seen the women he dates? I think he just wants to be friends."

"Just be careful, Bella. This has disaster written all over it."

I sighed. "It does, doesn't it?"

"He's like a drug to you. You completely lose it around him. Can you keep it together for an entire day?"

I put my hands on my hips, ready to convince. "I think I put him on this pedestal or something. I don't know. Tonight he seemed different – normal. I think it'll be interesting to say the least."

"That's one way to put it. Oh, to be a fly on the wall during that date!"

"It's not a date!" I glared at Alice.

"Uh huh. You said that." She didn't look convinced but let it go. "Let's get out of here. I'm freezing!"

I couldn't sleep at all that night. Edward was a complete mystery. I should have walked away. I should have told him no. Alice was right; I wasn't myself around him. I felt guilty about Peter, even though I knew things with Edward were strictly platonic and harmless. At least that was what I told myself. The butterflies in my stomach disagreed. I had never had such strong physical reactions to Peter as I did to Edward, which was eye opening for me.

Pandora's Box had been opened and had caused me to evaluate things I didn't really want to evaluate - namely, my relationship with Peter. I knew nothing would happen between me and Edward, but I also knew what he stirred in me. I lusted for him; there was no denying it anymore. I didn't feel right staying in a relationship with Peter when I went to bed at night thinking of another man, even if it was one I'd never have and wasn't sure I even liked. It wasn't fair to Peter or to me. If I really thought about it, I'd known since I first moved here that things with Peter couldn't continue as before. I was just in denial. I needed someone who was here for me, not someone who used to be here for me. I wanted someone who made my stomach flutter the way Edward did, and that wasn't Peter.

I clung to Peter because I didn't want to be alone, telling myself it was love. I did love Peter in my own way, but it was more in appreciation for all he'd done for me rather than romantically. I'd spent almost as much time defending our relationship since I'd gotten here as I had being involved in it. We had different lives; we always had.

I thought about my dad and what he would have wanted for me. He would have wanted me to be with someone who cherished me. I didn't think that was Peter. Even analyzing my own feelings made the situation clearer. Would I have walked away from my true love? Would I have kept my plans a secret from someone I saw as my future husband? No, I wouldn't have. But I had walked away from Peter, and he had let me go.

The next morning, I was in a complete funk. It was only a few weeks before Christmas, and most people were thinking about being reunited with their families, while I was thinking about how to break up with the only "family" I had left. It left me feeling cold and alone.

I texted Rosalie, hoping she could meet me and talk some sense into me. I hadn't told her about my conversation with Edward yet, either, and I wanted to get her opinion.

_Do you have time for an emergency coffee break? I'm having a crisis. ~B_

_Name the place and time. ~R_

_Peet's Coffee? 45 mins? ~B_

_See you then. ~R_

I hopped into the shower, hoping I could scrub some common sense and peace of mind into my body. I was shaking thinking about ending my relationship with Peter. It was scary as hell to think of not having him in my life. He was the only constant in my world of change.

Feeling better but not pacified, I threw on some clothes and left to meet Rosalie. If there was anyone who could talk some sense into me, it was her.

"So, what's this crisis that's got you all worked up?" Rosalie asked as we sat down at Peet's.

I took a sip of my coffee while I thought about how I wanted to proceed. "I'm all screwed up in the head, Rose. I thought I knew what I was doing, but then I talked to Edward, and now I have all these doubts."

"Oh shit! I forgot to ask you about that! How'd the talk go? Why don't we start there?"

"He wants to be friends. We're going to hang out on Tuesday." I gave her the abridged version.

"Friends? What happened to him being an asshole?"

"He apologized again. Can you believe that?"

She shook her head as she sipped her latte. "That's kinda shocking. He doesn't seem like the apologizing type - and twice in two days?"

"I know. It seems strange."

"Are you going to go out with him?"

"It's not like a date or anything. He's just being nice because I'm new in town and because he was such a jerk before."

She paused. "And you believe that?"

"Yeah, I do. He knows I have a boyfriend, anyway."

She made a funny face. "Peter, right."

"Why are you making that face? I know he's not your favorite, but what is it about him you don't like?"

She set her coffee down and looked at me. "I don't even know Peter. And even if I did, it's not my relationship. But I do have eyes, and I can tell when you talk about him there's no passion there. I don't know, maybe you stay with him because you feel like you have no one else, but is that really enough for you? Are you going to marry him eventually because of some misguided sense of obligation?"

I buried my face in my hands, unable to stop the tears. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Rose put her hand on my back and rubbed gently. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's not you, Rose. That's just it. It's me."

"Do you love him?"

"I do, but not in the way I should."

"Well then, what are you going to do?"

"I guess I have to tell him, but it scares the crap out of me. I'll be all alone –"

"No you won't," she interrupted.

I shook my head and let the tears fall, unable to stop them. "Thanks."

"I'm serious. You won't be alone. Don't let that be a factor in your decision."

"It's scary, but I know what I have to do. I can't say anything over the holidays. That wouldn't be right. We were supposed to spend Christmas together, but that's not going to happen, and I couldn't hurt him like that when he's home with his family. We're supposed to plan a vacation together early next year. I guess I should do it then. At least then I can talk to him face to face instead of over the phone. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to be hurt either." I wiped a tear from my face. "Losing him will hurt."

"You've got to do what's best for you, even if it hurts a little. Otherwise, you'll look back and have regrets about the way you lived your life."

"I know, but you know how I am about confrontation. It's hard for me."

"You have to tell him."

"I will. I'll figure it out. At least I have a little time."

She shifted. "Speaking of confrontations, tell me more about what Edward said."

"He was nice, Rose. I'm not gonna lie, I want to get to know him."

"That's one way of putting it."

"Rose, stop!"

"I'm not going to pass any judgment on you. You're here by yourself, while your 'boyfriend' is in New York. Edward's here. He's hot and apparently interested in you -"

"Not in that way, God!"

She pointed her finger at me. "Shhh…let me finish. I understand you feeling guilty about liking Edward, even if it's just as a friend. I do. But this thing with Peter is just a matter of semantics at this point. I would venture a guess that this 'friendship' with Edward turns into more. And if it does? It wouldn't be a terrible thing, Bella. Don't beat yourself up."

I couldn't admit to Rosalie that the way I was feeling about Edward had triggered the change in my feelings about my relationship with Peter. I knew she'd over-react and think I was trying to seduce him. I wasn't, but I'd never felt such nervous energy as I did around Edward. When he was in the room, he had my attention, whether he wanted it or not. I should have felt that way about Peter, but I didn't. I never had.

Tuesday couldn't come fast enough.

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**A/N: *sigh* I just love this Rosalie! So, Peter's almost out of there – at least mentally he is. How will that affect her mindset when she goes on her "not a date" with Edward? Think Edward's on board with just being friends?**

**Thanks so much to my team this week. I've been super sensitive lately about this story, and they've helped me through it. I can't thank you guys enough. **

**Sorry, no pics this week. **

**Also, I feel the need to address this since I've gotten a few reviews about it. I understand that you guys want things to move forward, and believe me, I'm not drawing things out just for the hell of it. But I think it's important to understand the characters and what drives them. That's also why I'm updating twice a week – so things progress. If you've read anything I've done before, you know I'm not about long, drawn out bouts of nothing. So please hang in there with me. I think you'll appreciate having the background going forward. **

**Thanks for the reviews and feedback. I appreciate you all reading and taking the time to tell me what you think. **

**Next up…the not a date!**


	10. Chapter 10 Barrels

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 10: Barrels**

I was up early on Tuesday. How could I not be?

I had a chance to get inside Edward Cullen's head for a day.

I combed through my closet and tried on several outfits before finally settling on jeans and gray boots. My top was casual and off the shoulder and matched the boots perfectly.

I drove to the restaurant with my nerves and curiosity piqued. I couldn't deny I was edgy in Edward's presence. Of course, until the night he came into the restaurant, he'd hardly given me the time of day, unless it was to insult me. Or it could have been the fact that I was ridiculously attracted to him and constantly struggled to keep it under wraps. Not that I'd done a great job at that since he already knew he had a starring role in my fantasies.

I grew up as only child. My dad always treated me as if the sun rose and set for me, but outside of that, I had to work for every bit of affection I got – every friend, every conversation. I enjoyed being social, but it didn't necessarily come naturally to me. As a result, I was quite insecure growing up. It seemed as if everyone else was so confident, while I sought approval.

I'd grown quite good at stepping outside my comfort zone and being assertive because my job demanded an outgoing personality. But deep inside, I was still the little girl fighting for everyone's approval. Edward was no exception.

Even though I didn't know him at all, I wanted him to think highly of me. Part of me recognized it was irrational, but it bothered me to no end that he had the wrong impression of me.

I arrived at Confidential and meticulously cleaned the glassware behind the bar to distract me while I waited for him to show up. I was early, but that didn't stop me from staring out the window anytime anyone pulled into the driveway.

He finally arrived, and though I'd been waiting for a while, he was right on time. My first thought when I saw him was how relaxed he looked - and how completely stunning. He wore jeans and had a leather jacket over a black long-sleeved shirt. He could have shown up in floods with a pocket protector, and he would still have looked gorgeous, but dressed as he was, he looked mouthwatering. I was simultaneously relaxed and tense. The nervous energy I felt in his presence was becoming familiar.

At least this time, I'd been invited to spend time with him.

He smiled when he saw me, and I left the bar to avoid attracting attention. My staff could be quite nosy, and I didn't feel like being the object of idle gossip.

"You look great," he said casually. I tried not to read too much into that, but it was hard. He'd have laughed if he knew just how much time I'd put into the deliberately carefree outfit I wore.

"Thanks, so do you." I faked confidence.

He placed his hand on the small of my back as I walked past him toward the door, which I quickly deduced was consistent with his formal manner, since he'd done it once before at Tra Vigne. Still, it made my stomach flip. I could certainly see why he attracted so many beautiful women. He had a way about him - a definitive confidence and swagger that few men possessed and few women could resist.

His car was more conservative than I would have thought a man like him would drive – a silver Volvo SUV. I was secretly glad it wasn't some flashy Porsche or something. I just didn't belong in something that showy, even if he would have looked perfectly normal.

Consistent with his gentlemanly manners, he opened the door for me, and I started to feel like this seemed more and more like a date. Even though he'd assured me that wasn't the case, his attentiveness wasn't something I was used to from other guys I'd dated, especially Peter.

Peter.

Oh God, what was I doing? I was acting as if he didn't exist. Even though I knew things wouldn't get better between us – how could they when I knew I wasn't in love with him – I still felt horrible.

I shook my head and chided myself. I wasn't doing anything wrong. Sure I thought Edward was attractive, but who wouldn't? He was empirically attractive, and I didn't think it should be held against him. Plenty of my friends were attractive, and I'd never given it a thought. Plus, he'd made it clear this wasn't a date, so there should be nothing to worry about.

"Is everything okay?" Edward asked, looking concerned as he fastened his seatbelt. "You seem like you're lost in thought."

I chuckled lightly. "God, I'm sorry. I'm a hot mess today. I've got a lot on my mind."

"Is that just today?" He glanced at me with a teasing look on his face. "I mean, you always seem to have a lot on your mind."

"Hey, you're the one who's so intense all the time," I said lightly, trying to take the attention off me.

He smiled and turned his attention back to the road. "I guess I can see why you'd think that." He was thinking something but wasn't saying it; I could tell by the change in his expression.

I unabashedly watched the way his tongue came out and licked his lips.

_This isn't a date,_ I thought to myself.

"So, where are you taking me today?" I pulled my hair over my shoulder and played with it to give my hands something to do besides fidget.

He looked at me and flashed me an even bigger smile, which could have made my eighty-year-old grandmother swoon. "You'll see soon enough, Chef."

We drove for a few minutes before we came up to a familiar spot – his winery.

"You showing off?" I asked jokingly.

He put the car into park and turned in his seat, looking serious. "I hope you don't mind. I thought I'd show you the behind the scenes look. It's what I know best."

It was amazing to me how quickly his moods changed. It put me on edge again, and I stuttered in response. "No…uh…I don't mind at all. It actually sounds really interesting."

"Good. I'm glad you approve." Another beautiful smile graced his face. I smiled, shook my head in approval, and looked down to unbuckle my seat belt. I barely had time to register him exiting the car and moving around to open my door. He took my hand and led me through the main entrance.

As we started our tour of Masenry, I immediately smiled when I saw Carlisle working the tasting room. It was as if his mere presence emitted a ray of calm that came over me and made me instantly relax.

"Edward!" Carlisle said enthusiastically. "I wasn't expecting you today. I thought you had work to do."

Edward smiled and nodded toward me. "I do."

Carlisle opened his mouth in a silent "ah" and turned to greet me with a handshake. "It's nice to see you again, Bella. I hope you're keeping him in line."

I chuckled, thankful for his kind demeanor. "Don't worry, Carlisle, nothing gets past me."

He put his free hand on top of our joined ones. "Somehow, I believe that."

"I'm going to take Bella to the barrels," Edward said as he directed me to a hallway off to the side.

I glanced at Carlisle. "Are you coming with us?"

Edward looked at Carlisle intensely but said nothing. Carlisle just smiled warmly. "No, but you two have fun."

I glanced over my shoulder as we walked away and saw Carlisle return to his customers. "I know I shouldn't say this, but I can see why Carlisle sells so much wine. The ladies must go crazy for him."

"Yeah, he does all right." Edward seemed a little irritated and distracted as he looked over his shoulder back at Carlisle and pushed open the door leading outside, so I prattled on.

"He's soooo handsome. I imagine it's great for business."

Edward shoved the door closed with a little more vigor than necessary. "It's just about the wine," he said flatly. "Speaking of which I'd liked to show you some barrels we are about to bottle."

Sensing Edward's discomfort, I lightened the mood. "The barrels, huh? You spilling family secrets?"

He grinned mischievously. "You're not that lucky." My attempt at humor seemed to relax him.

We walked for what seemed like forever as he explained the purpose of each part of the winery. We reached the side of a hill, which was covered in ivy and shrubs. Built into the side was a large, oak door. It would have been difficult to see without knowing it was there. Edward pulled out his keys from his pocket and opened the lock, pulling the heavy door open with a creak.

He closed it behind us as we entered and turned on the light. My eyes took a moment to adjust. We were in the underground caves, and wine barrels lined the walls. Some were stacked, some weren't, but there was definite harmony and nothing looked haphazard or out of place. The barrels themselves looked like art, stamped and perfectly carved. The walls were made of the same stone as the main building, but instead of the refined space above ground, this was rustic with dirt on the floor. The way the lights bounced off the walls gave the room an eerie feeling, and the smell reminded the senses that fermentation was taking place.

I shivered, as much from the cold of the room as from the ambiance.

Edward took off his coat and put it over my shoulders. I happily accepted, as it was quite chilly. It was warm from his body heat and smelled like leather and spices. It instantly reminded me of a leather jacket of my dad's that I would wear when was I was little. I pulled the jacket up around my shoulders and looked down at the dirt floor.

"I know this isn't the most hospitable part of our property. I just have one thing I want to show you." He looked apologetic, obviously mistaking my nostalgia for discomfort. I appreciated his concern and quickly reassured him of my interest in continuing our tour.

I silently followed him through rows of barrels, observing the way his hands ghosted over each one we passed. It was as if he knew the exact state of the contents of each one, and it occurred to me that he very well might. He discussed the property location and the soil conditions and their growing techniques.

He stopped at a barrel and dipped in a gadget that looked like a syringe, pulling out a small amount of clear, pale gold liquid, and poured it into a small glass he'd grabbed from the same table that housed the siphon.

He held the glass up to the light and inspected it and then put his nose deep into the glass. He was all business again.

"Try this," he said, holding out the glass to me. "It's our reserve Chardonnay. It's just about ready to come out of the barrels. Only ten barrels were made. I want to know what you think."

I raised my eyebrows in playful defiance. "You should be asking Rosalie. She's got a much more refined palate."

"I think you can probably hold your own." He nodded, encouraging me to take a sip.

I put my nose in the glass deeply and inhaled the delicious scent of the wine. It was fruity yet not sweet. It had an earthy scent that balanced the smell of the fruit. I lifted the glass to my lips and took a small sip.

Heaven.

The flavors were complex and interesting, and it felt cool as it rolled along my tongue. I could easily get lost in this wine.

I closed my eyes and sighed. When I opened them, he had a grin on his face from ear to ear.

"So, you like it?" He took the glass from me and set it on the ledge nearby.

"It's delicious."

He looked humbled – a look I'd not seen before. "I'm quite proud of the way this one's turning out."

"How do you do that?" I was still lost in the taste. "How do you make something so exquisite?"

He looked at his shoes and kicked the dirt lightly. "I've learned from Carlisle over the years. Except for art, it's all I've ever wanted to do."

"Well, it's a good thing you're so good at it."

"I think that's why I'm so protective of the Valley. I like the history here, and the care with which people craft their wines. I don't want to see that spoiled." Edward explained that he wasn't trying to approach the business or wine-making as an exact science. A lot of the new generation of wine-makers seemed to take that slant. Masenry still used the same growing techniques they had for generations and counted on bit of luck and intuition. They needed to support their business, but they weren't trying to be the next big thing. He wanted to be the best at what they did.

"You've a great reputation for consistently putting out amazing wines. You understand the art of it. It doesn't matter what anyone else does, you've always got that."

"My family's been doing this for generations. We survived prohibition by diversifying, but this is the heart and soul of what we do. We are the only family-owned business that has remained intact for four generations of wine makers. I feel not only a sense of obligation, but pride. As nice as my dad is to customers, he knows what he's doing with the grapes."

"Can I ask you something?" I was feeling bold. And nosy.

He nodded, so I continued. "If Carlisle is your father, and he clearly knows so much about the winery, why isn't he in charge?"

He bobbed his head a little as he prepared a response in his head. "Running the business was hard on him. It's a demanding job. He loves the wine but hates the business and politics that come with it."

It made sense to me. It was obvious how much Carlisle enjoyed the wine, but as I was finding out myself, there was a lot more to a business than passion about the products.

"Do you find it stressful? Running the business?"

"Yes and no. I want to make sure our winery stays true to its roots, even if all the others change. It's important to me. To our family, it's always been about quality. I could never sell out and cheapen my family's legacy."

"That's why you were so hard on me? You thought I was part of the group turning Napa into something obnoxious?"

He leaned against the barrels. "Yeah, at first. Then I talked to you, and you seemed…different. Aro Volturi's reputation precedes him, and I've seen firsthand how he can be. You were his right hand; I didn't know what else to think. But you aren't like him. Your restaurant is…special. It's a comforting place. And you seem like a comforting person, from what little I know. I can see you love what you do."

I was floored. Stunned. "Thank you. Coming from someone like you, that's a very nice compliment."

"Someone like me? I'm not sure how to take that."

"What I mean is, you've got excellent taste and have obviously been here in the Valley for a long time. I'm happy that you enjoy my place. All I wanted when I opened it was to create a place where people felt comfortable. The fact that you feel that way makes me happy. Especially since you're so good at what you do."

"We both strive to be the best at what we do. Where you can turn simple ingredients into gourmet food, I can turn the right grapes into fine wines."

I giggled at his compliment. "It's hardly a comparison. Anyone can cook. Very few people can do what you do."

He put the siphon back into the barrel and pulled out a little more of the liquid gold and handed it to me, pouring himself some as well.

"I don't know if I'd say _anyone_ can cook. Sure, anyone can follow a recipe, but very few people can create. You create." He lifted his glass to mine in a toast.

We both took sips after our glasses clinked together, our eyes never straying off each other.

This felt like a date. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

Needing to change the mood, I started talking again. "Do you have any reds in here?" I waved my hands at the array of barrels.

He smiled and motioned with his arm for me to go ahead of him. "Of course. Right this way."

We spent the next hour or so walking amongst the barrels. The smell of grapes and fermentation permeated the room, but it didn't smell bad. It smelled like creation. The red wine Edward had us sample was a blend and was equally as impressive as the Chardonnay. We tried only a couple of types of wines, as many weren't ready for consumption, but each sample was unique and wonderful. Edward was carefree and kind, only shifting back to his serious side when discussing the finer details of his wines. The more I talked to him, the more impressed I became with his knowledge.

We left Masenry in the late afternoon. The sun was low in the sky as we drove.

His voice cut through the silence. "Do you have anywhere you need to be right now?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. I'm going to the restaurant later, but I've got a little while."

I probably should have gone to the restaurant right away, but I didn't want the day to end. I didn't know when the next time I'd get to see Edward like this would be, and I was worried we'd go back to being cold and unfamiliar again. I wanted to be near him.

He looked at me with a soft expression. "I have a place I'd like to show you."

We drove for about fifteen minutes, winding up through the foothills, until we came up to a vantage point. He parked the car, and we got out and walked to the front of his car, leaning on the hood.

"Wow, this is beautiful," I said, awed by the sight in front of me.

I'd known Napa was scenic and picturesque, but this view was unlike any I'd seen. We were perched up on a hill just above the valley. The rolling vineyards, which spanned as far as the eye could see, mapped the terrain. The late afternoon sun cast a glow over everything, making the leaves of the vines sparkle, accentuating the precision with which they were planted.

"I come here a lot, especially in the afternoon. It reminds me that not everything has to be so serious all the time."

I turned to face him. I wanted some answers about how he'd acted before, and this seemed like a natural segue. "Are you going to scowl at me the next time I see you?"

He looked pained, and I immediately felt bad about how I'd phrased the question. We'd made such progress.

"No, I won't scowl." He'd closed up again.

Shit.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. That was rude." I wanted to reach out and touch his arm, but I hesitated.

He glanced away at the view and sighed. "You really think I'm an asshole, don't you?"

I didn't know how to answer. I admitted internally there were times when I'd thought exactly that. Many times, actually. Although we'd had a nice day, I still remembered the glares and rude comments. I was a little leery that he'd changed completely in such a short time span.

"Edward…I don't think that. I've had a very nice time with you today."

"Yeah…" he trailed off and looked at the ground while running his hands through his hair.

I pulled his hand down so he'd look at me. I didn't want to lose what we'd gained today. A part of me wanted to slide my hand down into his, but I resisted.

"I don't think you're an asshole, but I can't pretend to understand you. I guess I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you to be rude to me again."

He laughed and shook his head as his brow knitted together, seemingly having another internal conversation. I wanted to know what he was thinking.

Finally, he spoke. "Can we be friends? What I mean is…can you forgive me for being an ass to you?"

Could I?

Of course, I knew I could. There was no way I could turn him away.

"Yeah, we can be friends." I rested my hands in my lap and sighed, once again directing my attention toward the view. I was still curious about him and hoped he hadn't hidden himself away for the day. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

He glanced up at me with his signature unreadable expression. "Ask me anything."

"You can tell me it's none of my business. And really, it is none of my business," I stammered nervously.

He propped up his knee on the hood to better face me. "This sounds interesting. What is it?"

"Well, it's just…every time I see you…you're with a different woman. And well…that one time in the store…she was just so…I don't know…rude."

He looked ashamed. "There was no excuse for that."

"I agree. But still…you seemed to like her. Is that the type of girl you typically date?"

"I…uh…"

"I know – I'm prying. This is none of my business. I'm so sorry." I waved my hands in front of my face anxiously. I felt horrible about bringing it up.

Still, the curiosity was killing me. What were these women to him? I had to know.

He grabbed my hands and held them still. "It's okay. I don't think you're prying. If we're going to be friends, you should know a little more about me."

"I feel like a bitch for asking."

"Don't. And, no, she isn't the 'type of girl' I typically date," he said, making air quotes.

I did a happy dance inside but kept my cool on the outside.

"But she was so beautiful. They all were. I guess I thought –"

"Being beautiful on the outside isn't everything."

"I agree. Do you still see her? Them?" I couldn't help myself.

"No, I don't see anyone regularly."

"That surprises me." We were getting somewhere.

"Why?"

How did I say this without revealing my attraction to him?

"You can get anyone you want."

He chuckled. "I don't know about _that_."

"Yeah well, I do. Have you really looked at the women you date? They're not 'normal' women. They're like…perfect."

He shook his head. "Believe me, they're not perfect."

"You've got high standards," I said jokingly. "_I_ might even be willing to date some of them."

"Now that I'd like to see." He rubbed his jaw as he laughed. Then his face turned serious. "But no, my standards aren't any different than anyone else. I don't date people I can't see myself with. If I go out with someone and can't see myself getting serious with her, I don't pursue it. What's the point?"

I shrugged and immediately thought of Peter. I wished I'd analyzed my relationship with him sooner.

"I can understand that."

He paused for a moment and then spoke. He was so calculated with his speech as if everything were rehearsed in his head before he ever uttered a word. "Does your boyfriend know you're here with me today?"

I wasn't prepared to talk about Peter. At all.

"Uh…no."

"Won't it bother him?"

It was a fair question but one I wasn't sure I could answer. "He doesn't live here, so he doesn't know everything I do."

Edward nodded and sighed. "Oh. He's a fool to let you out of his sight."

I felt the blood rush to my face. I was flattered by his words, but they stung as well. It was one thing for me to doubt my feelings for Peter, but it hurt a lot worse thinking that Peter hadn't felt more for me as well. It was hypocritical, but I instantly felt defensive of Peter. And Edward's judgmental side brought on my irritation.

Edward was watching me with keen interest. Finally, I composed a response. "I don't want to defend him or his choices. You don't know him. Don't judge him."

Edward started to reach over to grab my hand but stopped himself. "I didn't mean to upset you. But if you were mine –"

"I'm not yours. And I assure you I make my own decisions. And Peter trusts me." I wasn't ready to discuss my feelings about Peter, especially not with Edward. I was having trouble masking my uncertainty and guilt.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Really." This time he did reach over and grab my hand, the warmth comforting me. My body reacted instantly to his soft touch, just as it had when his hand was on my back.

I sighed and felt a little guilty about snapping at him. He was curious about my relationship status and trying to pay me a compliment, and I bit his head off.

"It's okay. I didn't mean to get upset. I just don't like talking about it. I know you were just being nice."

He pushed off the car. Clearly the conversation was over. "We should get going. When the sun goes behind the mountain, the temperature drops pretty quickly."

Once in the car, I shivered from the onslaught of heat from the heater. I hadn't even noticed how cold I was outside. I was too engrossed in Edward and the fact that he was finally lowering his wall just enough for me to peek inside.

He pulled into the lot at Confidential and put the car in park. "Thank you for a nice day, Bella."

"Thank you for asking. I learned a lot."

Learned a lot? I wanted to slap myself for my hideous choice of words.

He tried to hold back his smile but was unsuccessful. "I'm happy to provide an education, Bella," he said, giving me a playful smirk.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and said almost inaudibly, "I'm sure you are."

Even if he didn't intend it, his words contained innuendo I couldn't help but be curious about. I thought about the women he dated and wondered exactly what kind of education he provided. I was envious.

"I hope to see you again soon," he said, turning in his seat to face me.

"So, friends, then?" I asked, smiling.

"Yeah. Friends."

"Good, then I'll definitely see you again soon."

I climbed out of the car and waved as he drove off.

How in the world was I supposed to work?

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**A/N: Sorry this is late. I went out of town and it was hard to get WiFi. So …things are heating up! They're officially friends…but Edward's walls are coming down and who knows what can happen! **

**Pics are on my profile. **

**I really have to give a huge shout out to my team this week. TwiHart and Viola Cornuta, my betas, have had to read and edit multiple versions of this chapter as well as counseling me and reassuring me that all is okay. My pre-readers, ellierk, Sunfeathers, Dana1779, and now scsquared, gave me lots of great ideas and helped pull it all together. Many, many thanks. **

**Thanks to all of you who wrote such encouraging reviews last chapter. I appreciate it so much. I put my heart and soul into this, so it's really nice to know people are enjoying it. **

**Next up, Christmas Eve…and possibly a little alone time at Edward's place. Yummy! **


	11. Chapter 11 Christmas Eve

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 11: Christmas Eve**

I had mixed feelings about Christmas this year. On one hand, the restaurant was busy, and it was easy to throw myself into work and not dwell on the fact that this was the first year I wouldn't celebrate with my father. I missed him more than I could say, and each day served as a reminder that he was no longer with me.

On the other hand, I had formed an unexpected friendship with Edward and wanted explore it. We'd talked on the phone almost every day since the Napa tour the previous week and had met for lunch several times. He was surprisingly easy to be around, and I looked forward to spending time with him.

Confidential was going to be open through the 23rd, but I thought it was important for the staff to spend the holidays with family, so we were closing Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Emmett was nice enough to invite me to Christmas dinner at his place, so I wouldn't be alone. Rosalie and a few of Emmett's friends and family would be there. It was nice to be included, and I was really feeling at home with my new friends.

I finished up the last of my Christmas shopping early on the 24th and found myself with nothing to do – something that almost never happened.

I pulled out my phone and texted Edward.

_You busy right now? ~B_

_Just working. Want to grab an early lunch? ~E_

_Meet you at the café in Calistoga where I told you off? ~B_

_Not my best moment. But they do have good food. See you in 45 mins. ~E_

I smiled at his text. There weren't very many times I had seen Edward's carefully constructed walls come down, so I relished every opportunity to see him act carefree.

I arrived at the café a little early, and since it wasn't quite the rush hour, I was able to procure a seat by the window. I saw Edward pull up and park. He climbed gracefully out of his car and slipped change into the parking meter. He had no idea women's heads were turning even at his simple act. He dialed his phone as he walked toward the café. I never broke my stare.

By the looks of it, the conversation was a little tense, and I could see Edward convert back into business mode. He stopped walking right out front and faced the street, giving me (and several other interested parties) an unobstructed view of his ass. I felt moderately guilty ogling him so blatantly - especially when he seemed so tense - but not enough to actually stop doing it.

Eventually he clicked the phone off and came inside. He smiled widely when he saw me and came over to the table.

"Have you already ordered?" He pointed over his shoulder to the counter where orders were placed.

"Not yet. I was waiting for you."

He pursed his lips endearingly. "Thanks. You didn't have to do that. I'll go order for us. What do you want?"

I glanced over his shoulder at the large menu posted on the wall behind the counter. "Can you get me the smoked turkey and Gouda Panini and a Pellegrino?"

He patted the back of the chair. "You got it. I'll be right back."

Of course, I ogled him as he walked away.

I shook my head and chuckled to myself. The poor guy couldn't even put money the parking meter or order a sandwich without being stared at.

After a few minutes, he returned with our drinks and sat down opposite me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked as I poured my Pellegrino into a glass.

"Why do you ask?"

I nodded toward the front sidewalk. "I saw you on the phone outside, and you were doing that thing with your eyebrows."

"What thing with my eyebrows?" He eyed me suspiciously.

"You know, that thing." I put my fingers up between my eyes and scrunched up my face.

He laughed and looked shocked. "I do _not_ make that face."

"You most certainly do. But don't worry, you still looked as handsome as ever."

Did I really just say that out loud?

I blushed furiously and looked down at my drink as if it contained a cure for my humiliation.

He licked his lips and smirked. "Good to know – both about the eyebrows…and the other."

After a moment or two, my embarrassment subsided enough so I could speak. "Seriously, though, is everything okay?"

He glanced down and paused a moment before speaking. "Yeah…things are just a little complicated."

"Complicated how?"

"I was supposed to go to my parents' house tonight for a little get together, but…I'm not…and my father's not happy about it."

Just then, our food was delivered, and we both sat up straighter to allow the server to put our plates down. I hadn't been aware of how close we'd been sitting but instantly missed the warmth from his body heat.

"So, why aren't you going? Aren't you close to your family?" I asked as I picked up my Panini and took a bite.

He sighed loudly. "I am close to them. It's just…I don't get along with some of their friends who will be there tonight. It's just better this way. I'm spending tomorrow with them anyway."

"That's too bad you can't go. Or don't want to."

He shrugged me off; a sign I was coming to know meant he was done talking about it. "Yeah. So, what about you? Since you aren't with Peter, are you spending the rest of the week with your family?"

I felt myself heat up. Most of my friends knew about my family situation, so I wasn't used to having to talk about it.

"I…uh…I don't have any family. I'm an only child, and my dad…died this past year." The silence between us became as thick as the San Francisco fog.

I didn't know why, but I couldn't look at him, afraid my eyes held a window to my thoughts, and I didn't want to be that vulnerable.

I felt his fingers graze the top of my hand, which was fidgeting with the paper napkin on the table. He wrapped his fingers around my hand and squeezed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

I slowly withdrew my hand away from his and took a sip of my water, trying not to make a scene and cry in front of him or melt under the warmth of his touch. He was just being kind, and I didn't want to look like a basket case.

"It's okay. There was no reason for you to know."

"You aren't spending the holidays alone, are you?" I could hear the concern in his voice.

I shook my head but kept my gaze down. "No, I'm spending tomorrow with my friend Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie. You've met, if you remember."

"And tonight?" I could feel his eyes attempting to meet mine, but I didn't give in. "It's Christmas Eve."

"Tonight…I have no plans." Saying it out loud accentuated my isolation.

"Yes, you do. You're spending it with me. It's the perfect solution for a pair of holiday singletons."

I finally looked up and met his eyes. He looked sincere and kind. "Edward…it's Christmas…you should…"

He shook his head. "I won't take no for an answer. Listen, I didn't have any plans anyway. It'll take my mind off things, and I'd hate to think of you spending Christmas Eve alone."

I sighed. "I couldn't ask that –"

"Bella, stop. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to." His demeanor shifted, and he looked suddenly uncomfortable. "Unless…you don't want to spend it with me."

"No!" I reached my hand across the table and rested my hand on his forearm to stop him from jumping to conclusions. "It's not that. I'd love to spend the evening with you."

He smiled widely as I withdrew my hand and turned my attention back to my food.

"I'll make you dinner," I blurted out.

"No, I'll cook. That is, if you don't mind."

Most of the time, my friends wanted me to do the cooking. I didn't even think twice about it. I enjoyed it, and they seemed to like what I made, so everyone was happy. People often felt intimidated cooking for me, so this was an unexpected surprise.

"I don't mind," I said as I took a sip of my water. "But at least let me bring the wine."

He laughed. "The wine I've got covered. How to impress a chef such as yourself with my cooking? That's a different story."

"You don't have to impress me. It's enough that you want to spend your Christmas Eve with me." I looked over at him and hoped I had conveyed my sincerity. He met my gaze, and I was struck by the warmth and kindness in his green eyes. I always felt such strong reactions when he looked at me. However, there was no trace of the ferocious animosity that had been there weeks earlier. Instead, a feeling of comfort washed over me. I couldn't help but smile, and Edward gave me a warm smile in return and then quickly looked away.

"Don't worry. I'll think of something."

We finished up our lunch and made arrangements to have dinner at his place. I had to admit it sounded a hell of a lot better than being alone to stew in my sorrow.

I spent the afternoon trying to find a gift to give Edward. I wanted it to be simple and appropriate for our burgeoning friendship. I looked in a few boutiques and saw plenty of things that would look great on him. I imagined Edward would look great in anything…or nothing. I shook that thought from my head; it definitely wouldn't help me get through dinner. In the end, I decided against clothing because it seemed so impersonal, much like the shirt and tie I'd sent Peter. I didn't want to get Edward the same gift I'd gotten Peter. I wanted it to be meaningful. Plus, I had no idea what his size was.

I stumbled into a candy store, the heavenly scent of chocolate drawing me in. The store was in full holiday spirit with gift baskets assembled and ready to buy. On every table was some delicacy sure to impress even the most discerning palates.

I smiled as I realized what I wanted to do for Edward in appreciation.

After buying a few of the chocolates for future consumption, I drove to the grocery store and shopped for my ingredients. Edward was cooking dinner, but there was nothing that said I couldn't make him a special dessert...or two or three.

I spent the better part of the afternoon slaving away in the kitchen. I didn't know what Edward's particular tastes were, so I made a few small things. It made me happy to repay him in some way for his thoughtfulness.

I showered and got ready, feeling more and more excited with each passing moment. The dread of the holidays seemed to fade when I was with Edward, and the thought of him cooking for me made me feel incredibly grateful.

I grabbed my treats and a bottle of wine and headed out to celebrate Christmas Eve. If anyone had told me a few months ago that'd I'd be spending tonight with Edward Cullen of all people, I would have thought them crazy. It certainly didn't seem so crazy now.

As I drove to Edward's house, I contemplated how quickly things had changed between us. I had gone from thinking he was an insanely attractive ass, to a really nice, intriguing guy, who happened to have a great ass. My heart still raced whenever he was around, but I'd also become comfortable and familiar with him in a short time.

Thinking about Edward so fondly made me feel guilty. Earlier that day, Peter and I had talked briefly about how much had changed since our last Christmas Eve together. Whereas last year we'd been together, this year we were spending it apart and with separate friends. It was indicative of what was coming.

I hadn't told him much about Edward. I didn't want anything to distract from the issues between us or have him thinking someone else was the reason for my decision. I knew I needed to end things, and the longer I drew it out the harder it seemed. I told myself I just had to wait until the holidays were over. As I pulled into Edward's driveway, I felt surer than ever of my desire to be on my own and ready to face my new life with my new friends.

Edward's house was set back off the road a bit, and the long tree-lined driveway reminded me of something I'd expect to see on the East Coast. When I finally arrived at his house, I smiled; it suited him. The architecture was consistent with much of the Valley – rustic mission style complete with climbing ivy vines. It had impeccably maintained gardens and a stone-paved walkway leading up to the house.

"Come on in," I heard Edward yell as I rang the doorbell.

Tentatively, I pushed the painted wood door open and peeked inside. The interior was clean and well decorated. I half expected to see a bachelor pad, but it was obvious I'd underestimated Edward once again. The décor was perfectly suited to the house, the warm tones of the furniture accentuated by the soft, glowing lights of the room. Adorning each wall was a beautiful piece of art or sculpture. There was soft, classical music playing in the background and a wonderful smell of something roasting. It was lush and serene.

I followed the sounds to the kitchen and found Edward in a chef's apron, covered in food.

I covered my mouth with my free hand and tried not to laugh. He noticed and dried his hands on his apron before walking to assist me with my stuff.

He glared at me playfully when he saw I'd brought food. "I thought I said I was cooking tonight?"

"It's just dessert. You can still be the master of your domain tonight."

He turned then as a pan of boiling liquid began to overflow. "Shit, that's the rice!"

"You sure you don't want any help?" I asked, setting the rest of my stuff on the expansive countertop.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but I've got everything under control. Why don't you pour us both a drink?"

I grabbed the bottle of wine I brought and began to look for an opener. "Red, okay?"

"Red's great. The opener's in the drawer by the fridge."

I hopped up onto the counter, after pouring us both a glass of wine, and watched Edward work. It was hard not to jump in and help him, but I held back. The fact that he felt comfortable cooking for me made me happy. I doubt I'd feel so comfortable picking out a bottle of wine for him. As it was, the only reason I brought the one I had was because Rosalie had given it to me as a gift, and I knew she knew her stuff.

"Can I have a tour of your place now that dinner seems to be under control?" I hopped off the counter and walked into the adjoining family room, admiring the exquisite art. The house was set up in a U shape, with the kitchen, dining and living room on one side and the bedrooms on the other. The walls were floor to ceiling glass and looked out onto the hills.

Edward took off his apron and came into the room. "I got that one from an estate sale," Edward said over my shoulder as I stared a one of his paintings. "The owner had no idea it was an original. I offered to pay more, but he wouldn't let me. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"You certainly have an eye for art. I presume it's your influence on that front at Masenry as well?"

"Well, I didn't want to give up my former passion entirely."

Edward and I talked and laughed as though we'd been old friends as he walked me around his house. Each room had a distinct feel, a personality, yet they all flowed well together. I tried not to act overly interested, but you can tell a lot about a person by the way they live. Since Edward wasn't exactly an open book, I soaked up information where I could get it.

Soon enough, a timer went off, and Edward pulled a gorgeous roast chicken from the oven.

"That smells delicious," I said, walking around the counter to get a better look.

He smiled and shrugged. "Barefoot Contessa. What can I say?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Ina's great. Is this the Engagement Chicken?"

"Engagement Chicken?" He looked confused.

"Yeah, the one made with lemon and thyme? She calls it engagement chicken because every time someone makes it for her boyfriend, they get engaged. It's that good!"

"Well, I can't vouch for the engagement," he said with a smirk, leaving me flushed. "But, it should be edible."

I tried to make myself useful, pouring water into glasses and lighting the candles. Edward had really gone all out to make this nice, and it felt great.

"This looks and smells amazing," I said as we sat down at the dining room table. "Thank you for having me."

His face grew serious. "Bella, trust me when I say this, there's no place I'd rather be right now. Thank you for coming."

He held up his glass, and I brought mine up to meet it in a toast.

I didn't know if it was the delicious food, or the wine, or the glowing embers of the fireplace, but I hadn't felt so whole and happy in a while. Edward had welcomed me into his home, and that was exactly what it felt like – a home.

I settled on the couch in front of the fire with my feet tucked under me. "Tell me how you got started in the business."

Edward sat on the other end of the sofa and set his wine glass down on the coffee table as he pulled a throw blanket over our legs. "I grew up here, watching Carlisle run the business. At first, when I went away to college, it was my intention not to come back. I majored in Art History and wanted to move to New York or San Francisco to open a gallery. Then, one summer toward my senior year, I did an internship in New York, and it totally changed my perspective. I wasn't used to that lifestyle, and I didn't like it. Things happened. I changed. That's why I have such a negative view of New York. That summer jaded me."

"There are a lot of nice people in New York, you know?" I said, even though I'd often felt the same way as Edward about the city.

"Oh, I know. But I was young, and that trip changed my opinion about what I wanted and what was important. When I came back to California, I started talks with Carlisle about eventually running the business. My sister, Jane, had no interest, so I stepped up. Tanya always hated it here, but it's always been home to me. Anyway…it just seemed natural for me to take over."

Color flooded his face, and his brows drew together.

"Who's Tanya?"

He looked away and shook his head. "She's just an ex, and I won't talk about her. I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place."

"Why? You can talk to me about your relationships, you know. We're friends now, right?"

He snapped his head to me, his eyes intense and angry. "Yes, Bella, were friends, but I'm not talking about this tonight. Really, there isn't anything for us to discuss. Especially when it comes to relationships."

The conversation had taken a downward turn, and I didn't like it. I wanted to calm him; he seemed so upset. Obviously this Tanya person had done a number on him. I wanted him to open up to me, but then I remembered when we were at Masenry and he asked me about Peter. I distinctly remembered snapping at him. I understood his reluctance to discuss it in that moment.

"Maybe we should agree not to talk about our relationships."

He nodded, grabbed his wine glass and took a sip, waiting, thinking before he spoke. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

Talking to Edward, although it had gotten easier, was still challenging. He wasn't the type of guy to open up easily, which was frustrating at times. I seemed to be doing most of the talking, and he seemed content with that.

I wanted to know more. "Do you regret not working in the art world?"

"I do work in the art world. It's just a different kind of art."

"That's an interesting perspective."

He sighed his subject-changing sigh. "Tell me about the dessert you brought," he said rather abruptly.

"Do you mind if I make myself at home?" I asked, as I stood and pointed into the kitchen.

"Of course not. It's your domain, not mine."

I pointed a finger at him. "You just stay there. Let me do this."

He put his hands up in surrender and smiled. I wanted to bottle the feeling I got when he smiled at me like that.

I returned a few minutes later with a plate laden with goodies. None of them was big, just slightly larger than bite-sized. I didn't want to make too much, but I didn't know what he'd like.

Edward sat forward as I set down the platter. "Wow, that looks incredible. I think something that looks this delicious calls for a finishing touch."

He stood and walked around the couch. "Come on. Let me show you something."

He put his hand on the small of my back as I walked by him, and I wanted to melt into him. This night had been so perfect my judgment was getting clouded.

He led me down a short hallway to a small circular staircase that headed down. My heels echoed as we walked down the staircase and came to a rounded dark wood door with a frosted glass inset.

He turned the handle and pushed open the door. The temperature was noticeably cooler than the rest of the house, and it soon became obvious what this room was.

"Wine cellar," he said as he nodded into the room. "I thought you should pick out something to go with those amazing desserts upstairs."

I had seen plenty of wine cellars, but never something so nice in someone's home, not even Aro's. It was huge and tiled with multi-colored slate, with wine racks stacked from the floor to the ceiling.

"Wow, Edward, this is amazing!" I felt like a kid in a candy store.

"This way." He led me to a corner of the room and pointed. "These are my dessert wines. Why don't you take a look and see if you find something you like."

I didn't really have much experience with dessert wines, so I was at a bit of a loss. "Can you help me? I don't know what to pick."

Edward's fingers grazed the tops of each of the bottles as he considered each one. I wished I knew his thought process. He finally settled on a smaller bottle, pulling it from the rack and handing it to me.

I cradled the bottle in my palm and glanced at the label. "Dolce?"

"The best."

"How can I argue with a wine expert?" I said playfully.

He smirked. "You can't."

We climbed the stairs and made our way into the living room again, which seemed incredibly warm and inviting by comparison. I huddled on the couch with my legs curled underneath me while Edward opened the wine.

"So, tell me what treats you made," Edward said as he handed me the newly poured glass of Dolce and sat near my feet.

"It's nothing, really." I pointed to each dessert. "This is a flourless, chocolate tartlet. It's very rich. Don't let its size fool you – it packs a punch."

"So size doesn't matter?" He smirked at me over the top of his glass.

I smiled, enjoying his harmless flirting. "Only when I don't get my fair share."

"Duly noted." He laughed, and I gently nudged his leg with my foot.

"Anyway, like I was saying, this one is a Dulce de Leche crème brûlée. It's got a great caramel flavor. And this one is a mini bread pudding. And finally, I threw together a fruit tart. I…uh…wanted to cover my bases as far as your sweet tooth went."

"You made all this? Today?" He seemed genuinely shocked.

"Well, yeah. I didn't have much to do this afternoon, and it was fun. I just wanted to do something nice for you since you were so thoughtful having me here tonight."

"It's so much work. Wow."

I pointed my thumb at my chest. "Chef, remember? It's what I do."

"I should invite you over more often." He laughed as he cut a few of the delicacies in half and served us both.

I liked the idea of spending more time with Edward. It was nice to be with him, and even when he was being closed off, he made me feel secure, safe.

His eyes closed as he took a bit of the chocolate cake. "Mmmm…I can't believe you made this. _You_ are a miracle worker in the kitchen."

Note to self: he liked chocolate. A lot.

I held up my glass of wine and set my plate down in my lap. "Thank you for a lovely evening. You made Christmas Eve fun when I didn't think it was possible this year."

"I'm so glad, Bella."

I took a sip of the wine and sighed. It was the most delightful array of flavors I'd ever had. It was a perfectly sweetened dessert in a liquid form.

"This" – I held up my glass – "is heaven."

He reached his glass up to meet mine. "This is, indeed."

The last thing I remembered was talking to Edward by the fire in his living room. I wanted to know so much about him, but he always had a way of deflecting the conversation. I wasn't sure if it was the wine or just how comfortable I felt, but I dozed off at some point in the night.

I couldn't be sure what exactly happened. I vaguely remembered soft fingers brushing the hair away from my face as I lay my head down on a pillow. I remembered being covered up by a soft blanket and my shoes being slipped from my feet. And I remembered soft lips touching my temple wishing me a peaceful sleep. "Merry Christmas," they'd said softly.

Was I dreaming that?

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**A/N: *chanting* Someone's got a little crush…And someone else thinks her friend is totally HAWT! LOL.**

**Pics for this chapter are on my profile.  
**

**Thanks for all the support this week. Let me just say that I've rewritten this particular chapter about 10 times and the next ones almost as many times. I'm telling you, I'm a hot mess over this story. But it's a good thing! I look forward to Tuesdays and Fridays. I can't wait to see what you all think. So, thanks for taking the time to read, especially if you tell me what you think. I'm just giving you a head's up – I'm in school right now and my work is crazy. I'm going to do my best to keep up with the 2 chapters a week schedule, but for one week, I may have to only do one update. I should have more time to write in about 2 weeks. I'm really going to try, though. **

**Okay, remember me talking about how many times this has been rewritten? Yeah well, each time, my poor betas Viola Cornuta and Twihart, get it again. And TwiHart has me calling her at home when she's trying to spend time with her family! Seriously, they dedicate so much time to helping me! I can't say enough. **

**My pre-readers are awesome too! *smooches***

**Next up, a surprise for New Year's! **


	12. Chapter 12 New Year

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: New Year**

After waking up early on Edward's couch on Christmas morning to the smell of coffee brewing, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Only my slight hangover reminded me I wasn't dead.

I pretended to be asleep, stealthily peeking into the kitchen, as my position allowed me the perfect vantage point to spy on Edward making breakfast. He was dressed in a fitted white undershirt and plaid pajama bottoms. He even managed to make plaid look sexy. I chuckled to myself as he hummed a light tune and buttered his toast. He casually flipped the pages of the newspaper and sipped his coffee, looking uncharacteristically calm and peaceful. I liked seeing him like this; it reminded me of the little glimpses I'd gotten of his true self.

I finally decided to stop staring at Edward and join him.

"Good morning. Merry Christmas," he said with a smile as I walked into the kitchen. I was sure I looked a mess, still dressed in my clothes from the night before, but there was nothing I could do about it.

I tried to run my fingers through my disheveled hair and look somewhat presentable but gave up quickly. It was futile.

"I woke up to the smell of coffee. I decided to come in here and check it out."

He looked concerned. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry. I tried to be quiet."

He was cute when he was worried.

"Not at all. It was a great way to wake up."

His face softened. "I hope you slept okay. I'd have moved you to the guest bed last night, but you looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you."

"It was fine, thanks. Your couch is extremely comfortable."

He smiled as he walked over to the cupboard and grabbed a mug for my coffee, handing it to me.

"There's sugar on the counter by the coffeemaker, and cream is in the fridge."

I liked the little domestic scene I found myself in. I could see how comfortable it would be to wake up with someone to talk to. Peter and I didn't stay over at each other's houses that often when I was still in New York. He lived in the Village, and I worked up in Midtown. It was too much of a hike. Being here with Edward, though, made me suddenly long for that kind of easy companionship.

We took our time eating breakfast and reading the paper. It was nice. Our stumble last night over his past seemed forgotten. We didn't have to talk, but I felt his presence profoundly. It felt special, despite the normal, everyday activities.

He hugged me and wished me a Merry Christmas as I left. I could have stayed in his warm embrace forever f but I needed to get on with my holiday plans. I left his house feeling happier than I'd felt in a very long time.

My time at Emmett's house later that day was fantastic. It was a decent gathering with a few of his friends and his parents. He and Rosalie had both gone out of their way to make it special. Each person invited brought a White Elephant gift for a gift exchange. I was thankful nothing was too tasteless since there were "grown-ups" in the room. The closest thing was a set of Shake Weights, which Rosalie quickly grabbed up after a demonstration on how they worked. Who thought of this stuff? Each time one of the gag gifts was opened the room erupted in laughter. It was amazing the products people found, and it was a fun way to get to know everyone.

Rosalie and Emmett, unlike Edward the night before, were all too happy to accept my help cooking dinner. We laughed and drank and ate until I was so full and tired, I could hardly stand.

"I've got to go home," I said, holding my belly for dramatic effect. "I don't think I can eat for a week."

Rosalie peeled herself off the couch and helped me gather glasses and bring them into the kitchen. She looked over her shoulder to make sure we were alone. "So, now that it's just us, tell me more about last night," she prodded. I knew it was only a matter of time.

"We had dinner. He cooked. It was nice." I shrugged hoping to dismiss her curiosity. I should have known better.

She cocked her hip in annoyance. "Bella, if we're going to be friends, you're going to have to start giving me more juicy details than that."

I laughed. "Sorry there's nothing juicy to tell. I fell asleep at his house."

She slapped my arm in shock. "You spent the night?"

Her voice carried, and I was worried everyone else would hear. "Shhh, Rose! It wasn't like that. He just didn't want to wake me up, so I slept on his couch."

She smiled widely and chanted annoyingly. "Sounds like _someone_ has a little crush."

Leave it to Rose to make a bigger deal out of things.

"He was just being nice," I said, rolling my eyes.

"He certainly _was _being nice." She waggled her eyebrows at me.

I pushed past her and laughed to lighten the mood. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"I'm just sayin'…"

We walked out into the living room, and I gathered my coat and purse and began to say goodbye to everyone.

I slid into Emmett's outstretched arms. "Thanks so much for having me. It was lovely."

He squeezed me into a bone-crushing hug. "Thanks for all your help, B, but next time, we're coming to your house!"

"You're on," I replied, barely able to breathe.

I threw my keys onto the table as I walked into my house. It was quiet and dark, and I immediately started the task of turning on all the lights. It was my way of feeling safe when I was alone.

My house phone rang, and I knew it had to be Peter. We'd been playing phone tag all day.

I grabbed the receiver and clicked it on. "Hello?"

"Merry Christmas, Bella," Peter's voice sang on the other end of the phone. He sounded like he'd had too much eggnog.

"Merry Christmas to you, too." Every time I spoke to him, I felt like a fraud.

"Did you get my gift?" he asked enthusiastically.

His "gift" was a gift card to Bergdorfs. It would have been nice if they had Bergdorfs on the west coast – a detail I'm sure he cared nothing about. He'd probably had his assistant pick it up for him.

"Yeah, it was great, thanks."

"I got yours, too. I liked it."

I winced.

My gift was equally generic – a dress shirt and tie. I didn't feel like it was appropriate to go all out on a gift when I was feeling the way I was about our relationship. It wasn't lost on me that I'd spent far more time on Edward's gift than on Peter's.

We talked casually for a few minutes about our dinners and what we'd done for the day, but it soon became obvious we didn't have much else to say. That was the problem being apart from someone for an extended period of time – some things felt too trivial to try and explain over the phone. We were no longer lovers and were now, sadly, barely even close friends. Initially I thought I could wait to break up with him until I saw him in person, but I knew my mind was made up. There was no way I could wait.

I sighed into the phone. "Peter, we need to talk. But not while you're at your parents' house. When do you head back to the city?"

He paused and then spoke, his eggnog buzz clearly fading. "I'm leaving here on New Year's Day. What's up, Bella? Do I need to worry about this?"

It was Christmas. It was not the time to break someone's heart, even though I doubted he'd be truly hurt. I wondered what it was that Peter was still attached to considering how little effort he had put into our relationship the last few months. I thought maybe it was the routine or idea of our relationship. Maybe he didn't want to hurt me, either.

I rubbed my eyes and exhaled. "I just…I mean…we just…need to figure some things out."

We hung up tentatively, and I felt a little relieved. At least I'd gotten it out there.

I was exhausted, both from getting little sleep the night before and the copious amounts of food I'd consumed at Emmett's. All I could think about was going to sleep and putting my messed up personal life on hold for a few hours.

I put on my warmest pajamas and slid into my cold sheets. Just as I was about to turn off the light, my phone buzzed.

_I hope you had a Merry Christmas. ~E_

I smiled as I read his words, knowing _he_ was who I wanted to talk to. I typed my response.

_I did – as well as an exceptional Christmas Eve. ~B_

_You can thank the Barefoot Contessa for that. ~E_

_She had nothing to do with it. ~B_

_Does that mean you're indebted to me? I like that. ~E_

_I am. Next time, it'll be at my house. ~B_

_I fully plan to collect. ~E_

_I would expect nothing less. Call me tomorrow? ~B_

_Naturally. Sleep well. ~E_

_You too. ~B_

I slept better than I had in a long time, personal issues be damned.

Edward, true to his word, kept me occupied and kept my mind off the depressing reality of being alone during the days following Christmas. We spent most of our free time together. I had to work almost every night, but we hung out whenever I had time. Edward even came into the restaurant and sat at the bar a few times. I was amazed at how quickly our connection had intensified. I couldn't define our relationship, and I didn't care. I wanted to be with him.

I had a pre-New Year's Eve party at my house planned on the 29th, since New Year's Eve was going to be a busy night at Confidential. It wasn't going to be huge, but I was excited to entertain again in my own home, which was such a different experience from feeding paying customers. Growing up with just my dad, New Year's was kind of a big deal. He allowed me to stay up and watch the ball drop, and the holiday had always held a special meaning for me.

My Not-New-Year's Eve party was also the first time Edward was going to hang out with my other friends. They all knew we'd become friends (except Rosalie, who was convinced there was more going on), but none of them had spent time with him and were curious about the man who'd so quickly become a part of my life.

I was excited about including Edward in my plans. In a way, I felt like he was meeting the folks. Of course, Alice and Rose had both met him before, but Alice didn't have the best impression of him. She was concerned our friendship was not healthy given everything I'd been through with my dad and Peter and the move. She was worried I was getting in too deep with him too quickly.

I couldn't deny that things had progressed quickly with us. Just last fall, I had cursed my luck every time I saw him, and now we were spending almost all of our free time together. It seemed unbelievable to me that the first time we'd hung out was only a few weeks before. But I knew our friendship wasn't based on some desperate longing I had to be needed. I truly enjoyed being with him, and even if I'd met him at any other time in my life, I'd feel the same way. We just clicked.

I also couldn't deny my intense attraction to him, but I had no business acting on that with Peter still in the picture. I doubted Edward would be interested in a relationship with me even without Peter around. Edward was playful and flirted, but he had made it clear he didn't do relationships. He was seeing me through a difficult time, and even though I felt bad monopolizing his free time, it wasn't enough to make me stop.

The party was going off without a hitch, and Edward got along with everyone, but he was acting differently than when we were alone. He was back to being all business, his walls firmly in place. His fun, light side was replaced with the stoic and guarded one. He revealed just enough of his true nature to be sociable and make a good impression. It wasn't enough, though. I wanted him to feel comfortable being himself.

I pulled him aside. "Hey, is everything okay?" I asked as we stepped into the hallway, away from the others.

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

He wasn't being truthful, which bugged me. I could tell when he was lying.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

He sighed and looked down at the ground. "Nothing's wrong, Bella. I promise."

"You can tell me, you know? If something's bothering you?" I leaned down in an attempt to catch his eye.

"I know. Thanks." He reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear, and I shivered at his touch.

He still had me twisted sometimes. I hated being in the dark with him. We'd made a lot of progress, but one thing I was learning was that if he didn't want to let me in, I was not getting in. There was no point in pushing the issue.

I reached out to place my hand on his arm in support. "Okay, but if you decide you want to talk, I'm here." I was willing to drop it, but I wanted him to know I wasn't completely convinced.

He kissed the top of my head in a friendly gesture, and we joined the rest of the group. Rosalie gave me a sly look as we walked in. I shook my head, knowing she thought we'd just come from my room doing something scandalous. She was forever reading into things she shouldn't.

After all the guests had left, Edward helped me finish cleaning up.

"Do you have plans on Saturday?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen and threw away some beer bottles.

I shook my head. "The restaurant's packed with reservations. I'm working."

"Hmmm…yeah, I guess I should have expected that. I was hoping we could get together. You know, to commiserate about another year passing and all that since I won't be with you on New Year's Eve." He looked…disappointed.

"Commiserate another year? I never took you for a cynic," I said with a chuckle. "Actually, that's not true, you're totally cynical."

"I am, aren't I?" He didn't look even remotely apologetic.

"You know, I still owe you a dinner. I have Sunday off, so why don't we hang out that day instead, and I'll make you dinner – anything your heart desires. I'll let you be as cynical as you want about us getting old or whatever you want. How's that?"

A smile overtook his face. "That sounds perfect. I'll have to think about what I want to eat now that you're doing the cooking."

That was better. The Edward I knew was back.

I spent New Year's Eve at Confidential. I was a bit sad having to work, but it was just part of the job. Still, even though I was working, the celebratory atmosphere was in full swing, both amongst the customers and the staff. One of the things I loved about New Year's Eve was reflecting on how much (or little) things had changed in a year. No matter what, I always remembered where I was on that night.

Last year, I'd been in Washington for the holidays visiting my dad. He was man of few words, but I cherished my time with him, especially since I'd gone away to school. I didn't get much of a chance to see him, so when I did, I really took advantage of it.

Peter had committed to a work fundraiser for New Year's Eve and had begged me to go. It had cost him $400 a plate and was black tie. He convinced me to fly home and be his date, using the reasoning that we never got to get dressed up. My dad insisted it was fine, and I took off from Washington on the 30th of December.

It was the last time I saw him. He died in the spring.

I fought back the tears, as I could recall with such clarity how he'd waved goodbye at the airport, insisting I call him the minute I landed so he knew I was safe. He was always a cop at heart.

What a difference a year made. It made me curious about what next New Year's Eve would look like. I wasn't sure how much more loss I could take.

Alice undoubtedly knew I was sad but managed to keep my spirits up. She was exceptional at that, and very intuitive.

As midnight approached, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Edward. He was attending a family event, and I felt his absence heavily.

_10, 9, 8…Happy New Year ~E_

_I wish you were here. ~B_

_Why? You need a New Year's kiss? ~E_

I stared at the screen. Did I want a New Year's kiss? The answer was a resounding yes, and even though I knew Edward was joking, it was still thought provoking.

_You have no idea. ~B_

Peter and I had planned to talk when he returned to New York on New Year's Day. I could tell he was nervous about having to wait, but I really didn't want him to have to deal with it all while he was visiting his parents. Each passing day that I didn't come clean was torture. On the other hand, he was my last bit of family. Sure, Emmett and Rosalie and even Alice had said I was their "family", but when it came down to it, I was alone. It scared the shit out of me.

Edward called me on New Year's morning, which was becoming a weekend routine.

He swung by and picked me up, and we headed to our favorite cafe and grabbed a table.

"So, no supermodel date last night?" I said jokingly, even though the idea of him with one of his previous groupies made me ill.

"No. I'm afraid I was bad company," he said flatly.

"You? Bad company? Never."

He cracked a smile but didn't say anything.

I really didn't know why I was pursuing this particular line of conversation. Ever since we'd both blown up over discussing our romantic lives, or lack thereof, we had an unspoken rule about not talking about it. In spite of becoming close friends, I didn't want to hear about his one night stands with Victoria's Secret models. The entire subject of relationships had remained a "no go" zone since I had asked about his ex. I never wanted to be on the receiving end of the Edward Cullen-patented lowered brow/moody bastard combination again, if I could avoid it.

He cracked a smile. "I have a quota of how many nights in a week I can be interesting and charming, and I'm saving myself for tomorrow."

I smiled thinking about our date we had planned the following day on Sunday.

Date? Where the hell did that come from?

I tried to recover before he noticed I was flustered. "In that case, I'm grateful. You can be pretty grumpy."

"Yeah, I guess I can."

We finished up our coffee, and there was no sign of grumpy Edward. We had a great conversation and managed to get the menu planned for his dinner. He'd requested Chicken Picatta, which I could practically make in my sleep. Even though I wanted to show off and make something complicated and fabulous for him, I had promised him I'd make whatever he wanted.

We left the cafe in a great mood, promising to meet up in the morning and make the most of our day. He said he had a surprise for me, and I couldn't wait to see what it was.

When we pulled into my driveway, I froze. There was a blue sedan parked there with Peter leaning against the trunk, staring at his phone.

Peter was here? Shit.

"Who's that?" Edward asked casually.

"That's Peter," I stammered.

I wasn't prepared to have this conversation right then. I had to work. I needed time to think about what I wanted to say and how I wanted to handle things.

Edward pulled to a stop, and we both hopped out.

Peter walked over to me and pulled me into a hug, planting a sloppy kiss on my lips.

_No, no, no_, my mind screamed. _This isn't right._

He pulled back and kissed my forehead. "Hi, Bella."

I was stunned. "What are you doing here? I thought you were on your way back to New York?"

"I couldn't go back to New York without seeing you. You've had me worried."

"I…I don't know what to say."

I looked at Edward, and his lips were pursed tightly.

Peter stuck his hand out to shake Edward's hand. "Peter Callaghan."

Edward glanced into Peter's eyes, and then down to his outstretched hand, finally reaching out to clasp it. "Edward Cullen."

Peter slapped Edward on the shoulder condescendingly. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Edward. Any friend of my Bella's is a friend of mine."

I cringed. His Bella.

I could see Edward wasn't impressed. "Well, I'm sure you two have a lot of catching up to do." Edward turned to leave promptly. "I'll see you later, Bella."

I followed him over to his car, attempting to ease my nerves and smooth things over. I didn't want Edward to be upset, even though it didn't really make sense.

"I'll call you later," I said as he climbed into his car.

"Peter's here. I'm sure you're thrilled to see him. Don't worry about me," he said with a bite.

I watched him pull away as Peter came up behind me and put his arms around my waist.

I needed a few minutes to think. Edward was obviously upset. I hated seeing him like that. I was upset, too, because I knew I needed to set things straight with Peter.

It wasn't exactly how I wanted to spend New Year's Day. I would certainly remember this one.

* * *

**A/N: Okay for all you guys who've been saying Bella needs to get on with it and deal with Peter, you should be happy. It's going to be dealt with. I don't need to tell you what's next, because I think you already know…**

**Pics of Peter are on my profile. I had to throw H. Cavill a little love, even though we hate Peter! **

**I know I say it every week, but my team this week has gone above and beyond. The last few chapters have given me major heartburn, and they've kept me afloat. So, thanks so much to TwiHart and Viola Cornuta for putting up with me. Much love to my pre-readers, too.**

**Thanks for the amazing response to the last chapter. I appreciate the feedback so much!  
**

**FanFiction is being a moody bitch and not letting me reply to reviews, so if I didn't respond to you, that's why. I'll pick it back up when the bug gets fixed. **

**Until Tuesday when the shit hits the fan…**


	13. Chapter 13 Peter

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter 13: Peter**

Peter watched me closely as Edward drove off. It was strange to have them both in the same place.

"Well, he seems like a nice enough guy," Peter said as we walked back over to his car.

"Yeah, he's great." I couldn't help but look over my shoulder to see if Edward was coming back, even though I knew he wasn't.

Peter didn't respond. Instead, he walked to his trunk, grabbed his stuff and headed for the house.

"This is a great place, Bella," he said, waiting by the front door for me to fetch my keys.

Having him here felt out of place. It was one thing when we were in New York, but this was my new life – one he wasn't really a part of.

He walked slowly into the house, taking in his surroundings. I was half waiting for criticism, but it never came.

"This is really homey," he said as he took in his surroundings. He wasn't waiting for me; he just made himself at home, walking down the hallway and peeking in each room.

"Bathroom," I narrated behind him as he stuck his head into the guest bathroom.

He continued walking and checking it out. "Guest room."

When he came to my room, I froze. Of course he'd expect to sleep in my bed, but it just felt so incredibly wrong.

"And this must be your room." He walked fully into the room, setting his suitcase against the wall.

I put my hands in my pocket and rocked back and forth on my heels. I felt exposed. "Yeah, this is my room."

He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around my lower back. As awkward as it was, I'd missed how it felt to be held like that – to be desired like that.

He walked backward toward the bed and pulled me on top of him, kissing my cheek and neck. I turned my head and tensed. It was natural for him to expect physical intimacy, but I'd known for a while that I didn't want to be with him, and I just couldn't fake it.

I pulled away. "You must be exhausted. Why don't you grab a shower, and I'll make you something to eat."

He reluctantly acquiesced.

I walked into the kitchen to make lunch, relieved to be out of his embrace. I was irritated with Peter's sudden intrusion. All those weeks of me begging him to come see me, and he decided to show up unannounced. I was not prepared for this.

I also couldn't stop thinking about how Edward looked when he left. We'd had such a nice morning, and then when Peter showed up, it all went sour. I knew it was awkward running into Peter, and he was probably disappointed about missing our dinner - we were both looking forward to it - but he had been angry. It wasn't as though he didn't know Peter existed. It wasn't as though _we_ were together.

I heard the water running in the bathroom and pulled out my phone, dialing Edward's number. I bit my nails nervously, hoping to talk to him and hear his voice.

He didn't answer, so I sent him a text.

_Are you okay? You seemed upset. ~B_

Nothing.

Not wanting to appear desperate, I waited a few minutes, but I was getting worried. It wasn't like him not to respond at all.

So I typed another message.

_Did I do something wrong? Call me, please? ~B_

I heard Peter get out of the shower and quickly began to make him lunch. But my mind stayed on Edward.

I started getting frustrated when he didn't respond. Edward was acting like a petulant child, one of his specialties. He knew I hated it when he didn't talk to me, and I'd done nothing wrong to warrant being ignored. I knew the situation was complicated, but I was handling it. I was doing what I needed to do.

Peter emerged with a towel around his waist and another one he was using to dry his hair. He smiled when he saw his lunch on the counter waiting for him.

"This looks delicious! Thanks, babe," he said as he walked up behind me and kissed my shoulder. I closed my eyes and sighed. I didn't want his kisses.

"Let me just throw on some clothes, and I'll be ready to eat. You were right; the shower felt great."

He walked away, and I put my hands on the counter, lowering my head. I needed to talk to him, but I had to leave for Confidential in an hour or so, and I felt like he deserved better. He'd flown all the way out here. The least I could do was to extend basic courtesies.

A few minutes later, he emerged again wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. I remembered how handsome I'd always thought him to be. Actually, it wasn't really a matter of opinion - he was very good-looking. But I didn't feel anything else for him. I used to love seeing him in jeans, because they made his ass look so perfect, but I didn't feel that way anymore. I wished I did, because it was going to break my heart to do what I knew I needed to do. I felt like puking over the fact that I was sending away the one person who'd been there for me during the hardest time in my life, the one person I had left.

Except when I thought about it, I knew he wasn't the only one I had. I knew the reason I couldn't stop checking my phone was because I'd found someone else who made me feel things I never felt with Peter. Edward and Peter couldn't have been more opposite. With the exception of their work ethic and drive, they had nothing in common. Peter craved the spotlight, always knowing what to say in any situation. Edward had much less to say, but what he did say usually meant much more. He didn't give false praise, nor did he demand to be the center of attention. Attention came to him.

I nonchalantly checked my phone again as Peter ate his lunch. Nothing. Damn.

"Is everything okay? You seem preoccupied." It was the first perceptive thing Peter had said to me in a while.

I shook my head and tried to recover. "Yeah. I just have to be at work in an hour. I wish I would have known you were coming. I'd have told you to wait a day. We're going to be busy tonight."

He laughed. "I wanted to make a grand gesture."

It was always about what Peter wanted. He never even thought about me and what I might be doing. Between Peter just showing up and Edward taking off, I could feel myself getting more and more frustrated.

"I'm sorry I have to leave, but there's no way I can skip work. We're going to be too busy to abandon my staff."

He waved me off. "Don't worry about me. There's a game on, so I'll just find a place to watch it and meet up with you after work."

"It'll be late. Lots of patrons lingering over dessert and after dinner drinks. Excellent for the bottom line, horrible for my feet."

He stood and walked around the bar and leaned on the counter across from me, grabbing my belt loops and pulling me against him. I arched my back without even thinking, but he leaned forward and kissed me.

"I'll be here when you get home, and I promise you a foot rub." His lips were on mine, and I tried to keep it brief, but he wasn't having it. His hands pulled my hips against him, and he groaned as soon as our bodies made contact.

"Mmm, I've missed you," he said in between kisses. "Think we have time to get reacquainted?"

I grimaced over his shoulder. "Sorry, but I really need to get going."

I pushed away from him and headed into the shower. As soon as the door shut, I leaned against it.

Shit. I hated being so deceitful.

I stripped and climbed into the shower. My thoughts kept coming back to Edward. Why hadn't he called me back or texted me? Why was he angry?

I said goodbye to Peter and headed to the restaurant, grateful for the reprieve. I needed time to clear my head.

The staff was already busy when I arrived. I met with Alice and Rosalie and assembled the staff to discuss the menu for the evening.

Alice, Rosalie and I had assembled a fabulous five-course prix fixe menu that rivaled any five-star restaurant. I scanned the dining room and checked with the bar and hostess staff. Everyone was ready.

By 8:00, dinner was in full swing. I oversaw the final preparations and was pleased with how everything was turning out. We hadn't had any major issues, for which I was thankful.

"There you are, Bella," Angela said as she walked into the kitchen. "There's a gentleman here to see you. He's waiting in the bar."

Edward.

I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face as I wiped my hands and straightened my hair.

I sighed before I pushed open the door. I was almost in a run by the time I rounded the corner to the bar, so excited to see him.

Instead of seeing Edward, I saw Peter. He was sitting at the end of the bar chatting it up with Riley, my bartender. I came to an abrupt halt and was noticeably disappointed.

I pulled myself together and walked over to him. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to watch the game?"

"Well, you've been hassling for so long to come out and see your place, I thought I'd surprise you. By the way, the chef get-up is sexy." He reached out and tickled me, and I tried to force a smile. He was being nice, but I was irritated.

"That's really sweet, but it's a really busy night. I don't have time to talk."

"That's okay. You get back to work. Don't think about me. I'll have a drink or two, soak up some atmosphere, and head on back to your place in an hour or so."

He reached out and rubbed my arm, and I turned to leave. I really didn't have time to deal with Peter.

I thought about how hypocritical I was. I would have spent all night trying to smooth things over with Edward.

Rosalie pulled me to the back of the kitchen. "Who is that gorgeous guy who was asking for you? Holy crap, he's hot!"

I laughed. If only Rosalie knew. "That's Peter."

She practically choked. "That's Peter? Wow! I was definitely not picturing someone that hot! What's he doing here? I thought you were breaking up with him?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was. I mean, I am."

"Then why is he here?"

"He just showed up at my house." I rubbed my face in frustration. "Everything is so fucked up. Edward's pissed off at me for some reason. Peter's here, and all I want to do is send him home. Fuck."

"I can understand that. It's hard to pretend to care when you're interested in someone else."

"Rosalie…don't."

"I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Come on, Bella. How long do you think you can do this? You've been delaying breaking up with Peter for a while now. And you can pretend you and Edward are just friends, but you know it's not true."

"I can't do this now." I brushed passed her, trying to leave her words behind me too.

I put on my game face for the rest of the evening, keeping my conversations with both Alice and Rosalie completely professional. I couldn't let what was happening in my personal life affect me at work. It was too big a night.

I was exhausted by the time I got off. Confidential had a great night. We'd been packed the entire dinner service. I couldn't have been more pleased with how things turned out. But underneath my professional happiness, my personal struggle still waged war on my emotions. I flipped open my phone hoping for a text or call from Edward but got nothing. That only served to sour my mood even further.

Peter was asleep in my bed when I got home. I was too tired to care, and I slid into bed next to him. It was hard for me to fall asleep. I kept looking over at Peter, wishing he were someone else. I didn't want to think that way, but I couldn't help it. Rosalie had called me out, and despite my best efforts, I knew she was right about my feelings for Edward.

The next morning I awoke to an empty bed, which was fine by me since I'd been having naughty dreams about Edward all night. I clambered out into the kitchen and found a note from Peter on the counter.

_Went for a run. Be back in an hour. I've got some great plans for today. ~Peter_

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. This was a disaster.

Since I had a free minute, I ran into my room and grabbed my phone, dialing as quickly as I could.

Edward actually answered. "Bella." He sounded spent.

I began rambling. "Hi! I…uh…was expecting your voice mail…I mean…you haven't called me."

"I didn't want to interrupt."

"There's nothing to interrupt. I just…wanted to hear your voice." I had so many things I wanted to say but now was not the time.

"Bella…stop. Does _he_ know you're calling me?"

I didn't see why that mattered. We weren't doing anything wrong. "Uh…no. He's out for a run."

He sighed audibly. "Go back to your boyfriend."

"Why are you so angry? Is this about dinner? I'll make it up to you. I promise."

He chuckled, mocking me. "No, this isn't about dinner. Listen…enjoy your weekend with your boyfriend. Call me later."

"You don't have to –"

"Goodbye, Bella."

And he was gone.

I stared at my phone as if it contained the answers I desperately sought, but of course, I was left feeling empty and confused.

Peter came home from his run and immediately hopped into the shower after a quick kiss. I hated the way I felt.

"I've got today all planned out," he said as he came out of the bathroom. "One of my old college buddies lives in San Francisco, and he and his wife are coming up to meet us for lunch and wine tasting."

I didn't know what to say. I needed to get him alone, but he had already arranged for us to spend the day with his friends. Was this trip really about me at all or had he just needed a vacation? He hadn't even asked what I wanted to do before he'd committed us.

Eric and Kate Yorkie were the quintessential yuppies. They looked perfectly coifed and clothed and knew exactly the right thing to say. They lived in Marin County and drove their Prius hybrids and talked about how Middle Americans embarrassed them whenever they traveled to Europe. They acted so concerned about being green, yet over the course of the day it came out that their house was over 5,000 square feet with only the two of them living there (if you didn't count their Shih Tsus). They also had a lovely cabin in Lake Tahoe that comfortably slept fifteen people and a vacation home in Maui. They probably took private jets to environmental conferences. Quite green, indeed.

They were so typical of Peter's friends. Although they were nice enough, they belonged in his world, not mine. They enjoyed congratulating themselves on how enlightened they were. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy the day, not that I thought I would. What concerned me more was that I hadn't had a chance to talk to Peter alone. He kept getting friskier as the day went on, and I knew what he'd be expecting later. I asked myself if he had always been so out of touch with my needs.

At one point, his friends asked about going to Masenry, and I quickly shut them down. I definitely didn't need to deal with that right then.

Finally, after the wineries had closed and we had eaten an early dinner and said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Yuppie, Peter and I were finally alone back at my place.

I poured myself a glass of red wine while he was in the bathroom. I needed all the courage I could get.

"Hey there, beautiful," he said as he snuck up behind me and snaked his hands around my waist. Instead of sounding seductive, it sounded wrong.

I turned and leaned on the counter, and he took it as a sign I was interested and moved between my legs, kissing my neck aggressively.

I pushed him back. "Peter, stop. Please…we have to talk."

He looked at my face and his fell, obviously sensing my distress. "What's going on, Bella? Tell me what's bothering you."

I swallowed hard. "I don't know how to say this to you. But I think…I mean…things have been weird with us…and you're in New York…and I'm...I think maybe we should make some changes –"

I could see the fire in his eyes. "Are you breaking up with me?"

He was a good lawyer and wasn't letting me off the hook.

"Yes."

He turned away from me and put his hands on the counter. "How long?"

I was confused. "What do you mean how long?"

He faced me again; only this time the worry in his eyes was replaced with anger. "How long have you been fucking him?"

I was completely taken aback. "What? I'm not –"

He approached me and grabbed me roughly by the arms. "Don't lie to me, Bella. I get paid a lot of money to read between the lines. I saw the way you looked at him. I didn't want to believe it, but now I understand."

I hung my head. "I'm not lying, Peter. I'm not with Edward. I never have been. This is about you and me – no one else."

"Bullshit."

"It's true."

He laughed maniacally. "You forgot that you talk in your sleep."

That was not something I had prepared for, but I couldn't deny I'd had dreams about Edward. "Honestly, this isn't about Edward. This is about us."

The string of coarse and bitter phrases that followed were nothing I hadn't heard in my years in hot kitchens; I just wasn't used to them directed at me.

He finally quieted down a little and let me talk. I told him how I felt about living in Napa. On some level he understood that we wanted different things out of life. I didn't want to move back to New York, and he wasn't coming here. We didn't have a future, no matter how much I'd appreciated him in the past.

I sobbed as he left the kitchen. A chapter of my life was closing for good with the last person who knew me when I was Charlie's daughter. He asked me to give him privacy so he could pack and go online and find a hotel to stay in for the night. I told him he could stay in the guest room, but he wanted no part of that. I had to honor what he wanted and give him space and I was actually relieved.

I slid into the driver's seat of my car, not consciously thinking about where I was going.

It was late and the lights were all off, save a few, when I pulled into the parking lot. I saw his car tucked off to the side of the lot and sighed in relief. Somehow I just knew he'd come here.

The front door was locked, so I went around the back. I pulled my sweater around my body to fight off the chill I felt, both from the cool night air and my nerves. Something was off with him, and I wanted to find out what it was.

"Hello?" I yelled into the empty space. "Edward?"

I walked in, my heels clicking in an echo around the room as I closed the door behind me. While the oil paintings and sculptures that occupied this space provided serenity and calm during the daytime, at night they made me feel watched.

I climbed the stairs and walked the narrow hallway to his office. The light was on and cast a glow into the hallway.

His back was to me as I walked up, and his feet were propped up casually on his desk. He had to have heard me coming given the echo of my shoes, but he said nothing. I stood at the doorway, waiting for an invitation to come in, but it never came.

He poured neat scotch into a short, engraved crystal glass and set the half empty bottle loudly back down on the desk, taking a huge swig out of the glass.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked. At least he was talking. It was a start.

Edward's reaction earlier had surprised and annoyed me, and as always, I found myself uncertain and desperate for answers. I was often in the dark with him - something that infuriated and intrigued me in equal parts.

"I don't understand," I said softly, walking into the room. "Did I do something wrong?"

He turned and looked at me, and if looks could kill, I would have been dust. "Did you do something wrong?" He huffed and turned back around, shuddering slightly as he emptied his glass.

"Won't you at least talk to me?" I didn't understand what I had done _this time_ to get him so angry with me.

He stood and walked closer to me; his balance was tenuous. He kept moving closer, and I moved back unconsciously until I was flush against the wall. His body was close, too close. I held my breath.

His thumb came up and grazed my cheek, his face serious and stoic, but still, he said nothing. His breath was hot on my cheek, and I shivered under his touch.

"Where's Peter?" He wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"At home."

He nodded and walked back to his chair, sitting down again. My hand came up and ghosted over my cheek where his fingers had been.

"Shouldn't you be with him?" Between his tender touch moments before and his unmistakable vitriol, the puzzle was coming together. This was not about our friendship.

I began to speak again, not liking the thickness of the silence between us. "He's packing. He's leaving tomorrow." It wasn't a lie, nor was it the entire truth. I knew I needed to tell him, but I couldn't form the words.

"Well, what a shame," he spat.

I walked over and knelt in front of him, my hands on his thighs. "It's not like that. He's not who I want."

I tried desperately to get him to look at me, but he averted his gaze, looking deep in thought.

I hung my head and repeated my words. "He's not who I want."

"Who do you want, Bella?" Edward asked flatly.

I was afraid to speak. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and making a fool of myself, but it was time to finally get my questions answered. If there was one thing I'd learned in the last year, and even more so in the last few hours, it was that not going after what I wanted was not an option.

I looked up into his eyes. "I want you."

His fingers tentatively reached for mine, just barely grazing the backs of my knuckles. "Don't say that unless you mean it."

"I do mean it."

"You have a boyfriend."

"No, I don't. Not anymore."

He stood, pulling me to standing with him, and walked me back until my back was against the wall. I felt a sharp edge of one of his picture frames jab into my shoulder, but I couldn't have cared less. He touched his forehead to mine, and his hands slid up the sides of my body achingly slow. His fingers skimmed over my shoulders and tickled my neck until they settled on my face, cupping it gently. His thumbs traced my skin, and I closed my eyes and sighed in response. I needed more.

"Say it again." His voice was deep and husky.

I opened my eyes and gazed into the intense green abyss staring at me. "I want you."

"You shouldn't want me." His actions belied his words as he inched closer. "But I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."

He smelled of whiskey and Edward as he moved closer still until our lips touched. At first his kiss was tentative, and he backed away slightly, but after only a moment, he returned with vigor, opening up to me. He groaned into my mouth when our tongues met and clutched the hair at the back of my neck.

I wrapped my arms over his shoulders and my leg around his hip and tried to pull him tighter, but I couldn't get close enough. His body pressed firmly against me, leaving little question as to the state of his arousal.

Fuck, I wanted him. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone.

I broke the kiss but not his hold on me, throwing my head back. He seized the opportunity and began a slow and delicious descent of kisses from my ear to my shoulder.

"You feel so good, Bella. I've wanted you for so long," he whispered against my skin. "But not here."

"No, don't stop." I was breathless and clutching at the back of his shirt. I couldn't let him go.

He moved his lips over mine, gently kissing me in between his whispered words. "So perfect…I shouldn't…I want to…"

We clung to each other before I spoke again. "Take me home, Edward"

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**A/N: Mean cliffie, I know! But I wanted to dedicate a chapter to their time together. I guess I don't have to tell you what's next…**

**No pics this week, but the others are still on my profile. **

**FFn is still being moody and not letting me reply to reviews. I'm posting teasers on The Fictionators and ADF, though, so keep an eye out. Of course, if the site lets me reply, I will. I love your reviews so much – I can't even tell you how much they make my day.**

**Thanks to my team this week. I know I sound like a broken record, but they are such a huge source of support for me, I can't even tell you. **

**Until Friday…**


	14. Chapter 14 Surrender

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**If you don't like lemons, you can skip to the end. There's some important dialogue. If you DO like lemons, ENJOY!**

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**Chapter 14: Surrender**

I felt drunk from Edward's kisses, and my mind was racing a million miles a minute. He was going to take me home, and I could no longer pretend that wasn't exactly what I wanted

"I'll drive," I said against his cheek, knowing he'd been drinking. He still had me pinned against the wall, and even though his body felt amazing pressed against mine, right now I just needed to get him home. He had occupied too many of my thoughts not to go after him now, but I wasn't about to give in to my most carnal desires in his office.

He didn't say much as we slipped into my car; he just kissed my hand and held it in his lap. I felt grounded and certain from that simple act. The cool night air woke me up as I drove the short distance to his house. I was playing with fire, and I knew it. It was over with Peter long before that night, but I still didn't know exactly where I stood with Edward. One thing was certain, I had never wanted anyone so badly, and I was pretty sure I could easily fall for him. I decided to follow my heart and my passion.

As soon as we were inside his front door, he emptied the contents of his pockets onto a table. Suddenly I was worried he hadn't intended things to go this far, so I stayed back.

He paused and turned after a moment. His eyes were dark and intense. I was always captivated by him, but this look made it difficult to stand. My heart raced, and my breaths were shallow and quick. He walked the few steps toward me and pinned me up against the door with his hands on either side of my head. My body was on fire. How many times had I pictured him this close to me?

"Should I stay?" My voice was crackly and nervous.

He leaned in and kissed my neck, then my ear and whispered, "You should never leave."

"Okay," I said, still under his spell as his breath ghosted over my face.

He pushed off the door and held his hand out to me. I slid my fingers into his hand and let him lead me to his bedroom.

Things had taken a turn toward the surreal, and all I could think about was wanting more. I was in Edward's room. With him. I could barely contain myself. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror over his dresser and winced. I was still wearing the sheath dress I'd gone wine tasting in, and my eyes were puffy and tired looking. I slid out of my heels and removed the clip I had in my hair. I tried to tell myself not to be nervous, but I couldn't help it. Edward was watching me with a fire I'd never seen in his eyes before.

Edward had removed his shoes and dress shirt and was propped up on one elbow on the bed with just his pants and undershirt on, waiting for me. He was everything I wanted in that moment.

He sighed and held out his hand to me. "Bella."

I crawled onto the bed and rested my head on the pillow next to his arm. As if choreographed, he rolled toward me and slid one arm around my back. I sighed at the feel of his touch and spread my legs to allow him to situate himself between them, causing my dress to ride up. His fingers twirled the hair that surrounded my face as he stared intensely into my eyes. As his body became flush with mine, I could feel his arousal. He groaned as he pushed his hips forward, grinding against me. His hand slid down my back and gripped my ass, keeping me right where he wanted me.

"Can you feel what you do to me?" He began to kiss my neck as he slowly rocked his hips.

I wrapped my leg around his body and threaded my fingers in his hair, pulling him into me for a kiss. "God, you feel so good."

The zipper of his pants pressed against my barely covered clit, sending a powerful wave of sensation throughout my body. I closed my eyes and arched my back, throwing my head back as I moaned.

"If you keep that up, I won't be able to control myself." His voice was deep and husky.

I wanted to be with him - to explore him and let him explore me. "Then let go."

He growled from deep within his body and kissed me like I had never been kissed before. The passion we'd shared earlier in his office was back as he gripped the hair at the back of my neck and positioned my head in a way that allowed him to deepen the kiss. I could feel his desire emanating off his body, and it fueled my own.

I reached between us and unbuttoned his pants. He continued to kiss me as I moved on to his zipper. I slid my hand inside and palmed his hard cock through his boxers, causing him to groan audibly. He pushed himself into my hand, and after a moment, he grew impatient and reached down to slide off his pants, causing us to separate momentarily.

I opened my legs and grinned as I watched him strip. He was back before I knew it, on top of me, with my legs tightly wrapped around his ass. He moaned as his barely covered cock slipped between my legs. I wanted him as close as possible, and soft whimpers escaped his lips as I squeezed his body with my thighs, feeling every inch of him. He was _right_ there.

My breath caught as he ground against me, earning me another throaty moan from deep inside his chest. "God, Bella, you're so warm and soft. Fuck…"

Edward coming undone in my arms was something I'd never forget.

"Fuck…I want to make love to you," he whispered as he thrust against me.

That was my unraveling. I was putty in his hands. "Yes," was all managed to say.

He sat up and pulled me with him onto his lap, his strong arms wrapped securely around me. I felt the zipper of my dress lower. The anticipation of being naked with Edward was almost more than I could take. His hands came to the hem of my dress, which was pulled up to my waist, and he began to take it off. I let my head fall back and raised my arms as he lifted it up and over my head. I felt a brief rush of cold air, being so exposed, but I was quickly warmed as his hands and lips returned to me once he'd discarded my dress. He kissed my shoulder and neck as his arms snaked around my back to unclasp my bra. I felt it fall from my body as Edward exhaled sharply.

"So beautiful," he said against my skin.

He laid me back down on the bed and reached up behind his head to pull off his own shirt. His broad shoulders and defined abs left me breathless as I watched with rapt attention. I'd imagined him naked many times, but the reality of his bare chest and slim waist was so much better.

"Better than any fantasy," I murmured softly, more to myself than to him.

I reached down and grabbed the sides of my panties, sliding them over my hips and down my legs as far as I could reach. His hands ran up my legs and gripped my underwear just over my knees and pulled them the remaining way off. His gaze was powerful, sucking me in, mesmerizing me. Before coming back down to me, he lowered his own boxers and slid out of them while I watched with equal intensity.

He was absolutely beautiful. My eyes didn't know where to look first. His hair was in disarray. His face was painfully gorgeous, and the way he looked at me made me want to melt into him. His cock was at full attention, and the moment I saw him completely naked and exposed to me, I forgot to be self-conscious. I just wanted him.

He lowered himself again on top of me, but the intensity was so different this time. There were no barriers between us. Our legs rubbed up and down, creating friction, and our hips moved in unison, feeling each other for the first time.

I was so completely focused on him, and how his skin felt against mine. I couldn't think about anything else but my unbridled desire for him.

I clutched at his back, begging him to come closer, to be inside me. "I need you," I mumbled as I felt him at my entrance.

He leaned over and pulled the drawer to his nightstand open, pulling a condom out. I briefly felt insecure, thinking about who else he'd had here that warranted an easy access stash of condoms. I cursed my insecurity. He was here with me, and that was all that mattered.

I reached out, covering his hand with mine, as I slowly pulled the condom from his hand. "Let me."

He nodded and sat back on his heels, giving me access. I propped myself up and opened the package. He watched my every move.

I slowly rolled the condom down his length, letting my fingers graze his sensitive skin. Edward closed his eyes and threw his head back. "God, your hands…"

When I was finished, I lay back down and pulled him with me. Without much effort, he was positioned between my legs again, and the tip of his cock pressed against my entrance, dipping in slightly.

His body was stiff as he held his position. "Are you okay with this?"

He was sweet to ask, but I was sure my actions had been quite clear as to what I wanted.

I grabbed his ass and lifted my knees, pulling him into me. "Fuck…" I muttered as he slid inside.

He pulled out and thrust forward, using more force than the first time. He held still once he was firmly inside me. His face was tight with concentration – he was beautiful.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, dragging my fingers through his unruly hair.

His eyes were closed, and his jaw was clenched. "Yeah…I just…fuck…I need a second…"

I smiled, loving that I could make him lose his unwavering and infallible control.

The feeling of him inside me was more intense than anything I'd ever felt before. I had so many emotions running through me, and my body was burning for him. I tried to be patient, but I needed him to move. I needed to feel more.

He recovered and began a slow and deliberate rhythm, rocking in and out of me. He pushed my knees back even further and put his hand on my ass, changing the angle and allowing his cock to penetrate me deeply. With each thrust, his hip pressed against my body, bringing me closer and closer to my climax. My body was begging for release.

I wanted it. I needed it.

"Harder," I managed to whimper. "Oh God, harder."

He groaned loudly and increased the force of his thrusts. I felt my body tightening as I got closer and closer until I finally exhaled sharply and hissed as my orgasm ripped through me. Edward didn't stop thrusting into me, moaning each time, until he finally squeezed my knees and threw his head back as he thrust and came hard inside me, falling on my chest as we both panted and recovered.

He pulled out of me and disposed of the condom while I lay back down, covering myself with the sheet. I knew the time for modesty was long past, but somehow I felt more exposed now than I had a moment before.

He returned to me, lying down at my side. He reached for my hand and kissed my knuckles, moving up my arm with each kiss. He kissed the crook of my elbow, the outside of my bicep, the top of my shoulder, the hollow of my collarbone, my chin, and finally my lips. He rested his forehead on mine while his hand slid around my waist to my lower back, pulling me into him. "You're perfect."

I snuggled up into his shoulder, and the feeling of him kissing the top of my head was the last thing I remembered as I dozed off.

I was having the most delicious dream. I was in a luxurious bed with the softest sheets I'd ever felt. The smell of Edward and morning surrounded me. I felt Edward's arm come around my waist, all warm and tingly, and his body press up against my backside.

"Morning, beautiful." When he spoke, I realized I was awake and in his bed. It wasn't a dream.

Edward's leg snaked between mine and gently rubbed, grazing my sex with each pass. I moved my legs up and down against his, reveling in his warmth. He pressed his hips against me, and I could feel his erection grinding on my lower back.

Edward kissed my temple and then my cheek before moving to my ear. "I haven't slept that well in a long time."

I smiled, loving the way his arms felt around me, but I needed to get something off my chest. "You're not hungover?"

I had been so caught up in my emotions the night before I hadn't considered how much he'd had to drink. He'd seemed lucid, but my insecurities brought out my fears.

He continued to kiss my neck and shoulder. "I wasn't that drunk."

"I was worried…I mean…we…"

He immediately pulled his hand away and lifted his body to rest on his elbows. "Did you think this happened because I was drunk?"

"I hoped not."

He turned me so I was on my back and placed his hand on my cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb. I put my hands on either side of his face, wanting to really see him and for him to really see me.

"I'm sorry you were worried, but this had nothing to do with alcohol."

His thumb continued to rub circles on my cheek as he gazed at me, eventually lowering down to give me a kiss. We both became quickly aroused as the kiss progressed. I was a little self-conscious not having brushed my teeth, but it was short lived. He felt too good, and I couldn't bring myself to care. It obviously didn't bother him, either.

His hand slowly moved down my body, over my breast, my waist, my hip, until he let it slide between my legs. I spread them wider as he slipped a finger inside me, moving at the same pace as his kiss.

"I need to be inside you again," he said as he curled his fingers inside me, and his thumb circled my clit.

I reached and gripped his cock and began to stroke it slowly. "Condom?"

It seemed as if it only took him a second to put on a condom and return to me, pushing into me more forcefully than he had the night before. When he was fully inside, he whispered in my ear. "I'm perfectly sober, and you still feel fucking incredible."

He pulled out and thrust again, establishing a firm pace. This was rougher than last night had been, but I loved that he took charge.

I cried out as I came hard around him as he continued to move inside me. I had barely come down when Edward looked at me with a feral look in his eyes. He was hungry and knew what he wanted. He flipped me over so I was on my stomach, pulling my hips back to open me up to him. I ached for him to be inside me again. In one quick movement, he thrust into me again, animalistic sounds escaping from him.

"Fuck…Bella…fuck…"

I sat up slightly on my knees, leaning forward as I gripped the headboard. One of Edward's hands was on my hip and the other on my back gripping my hair as he positioned me the way he wanted me. A glance over my shoulder was almost my undoing as I saw the fervor with which he pounded into me. He needed me as much as I needed him.

I reached down between my legs and began to rub myself in time with his strokes. I let my head fall back as I closed my eyes, taking in the feeling of him penetrating me so deeply. We were fucking hard and rough, but I felt empowered, worshipped even. I wanted him to take me like this. I wanted the passion. I needed the passion.

"Fuck, I'm close," I said as I felt my second orgasm rapidly approach.

"Yes…that's it." His thrusts became even harder, urging me on until I exploded around him.

A few thrusts later, and he grunted loudly, screaming my name as he pulsed. "Bella…I'm…oh God…"

His fingers gripped my hip so tightly I thought they might leave a bruise as he came inside me.

I stayed there, clutching onto the headboard to keep me upright as I came down from my high. His lips ghosted over the back of my neck, causing a shiver to wrack my body, as his chin came to rest on my shoulder. His chest was flush with my back as he twitched inside me. His hand slid around my waist and pulled my hips back against him. Our breaths were still shallow pants as we both came down from our high. The feral and possessive movements were replaced with gentle kisses.

He pulled me down to his side, and we lay there, kissing and touching for what seemed like forever. I didn't want to get out of bed. I wasn't ready to face what was outside this cozy cocoon yet.

"Do you regret it?" he asked after a minute. "Because I don't."

"No. Not at all. Should I?"

"What about Peter?"

Right. Peter.

"He's going back to New York."

He looked pained for a moment before speaking. "Was I just a rebound? A way for you to sever ties?"

"No, you're not a rebound. I've been intending to break things off with him for a while."

"I don't want to be the 'other guy.'"

I kissed his nose lightly. "You are not the 'other guy.'"

He smiled with his mouth closed, not looking convinced, but said nothing else.

"Just think - you used to hate me." I wanted to lighten the mood. "And you date supermodels."

His eyes fell as he contemplated a response. "No, Bella. I never hated you."

"And the supermodels?" Why was I torturing myself?

"Completely inconsequential."

He had a way of giving me some reassurance and still being completely cryptic. He kissed me softly, effectively ending the conversation. In that moment, I didn't care that I had no idea where we stood. I didn't care about anything except being in his arms. Eventually, he rolled out of bed, slipping on a pair of boxers.

"I'm getting us some coffee," he said as he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

There was no stopping the smile on my face as I watched him walk away, while I snuggled deeper into his sheets.

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**A/N: Well…how was it? They finally did it! Yay! I wonder what's going to happen next? We'll find out on Tuesday!**

**If you haven't reviewed yet, please do. I really love hearing from you. FFn STILL hasn't fixed the bug that allows me to reply to reviews, so I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to give teasers. I'm posting teasers on The Fictionators and ADF, though, so keep an eye out!**

**I have exciting news! My other fic, What Happens Now, was nominated for an Avant Garde award for Best Lemon. Voting starts next week, and I'd really appreciate your votes. I'll keep you posted. You have no idea how happy this makes me. I've never been nominated for ANYTHING. So, if you're the reader who nominated me - thanks so much!  
**

**Thanks to my betas, Viola Cornuta and TwiHart, for helping me through this. Also, thanks to my pre-readers: Sunfeathers, ellierk, Dana1779, and scsquared for all the great dialogue and suggestions.**

**After Chapter 15, I am going to post an outtake in EPOV. So, in your reviews, please tell me which one you'd like to see. I'll go with the most popular.**

**1) ****The first time they meet. **

**2) ****When he overhears her at the winery.**

**3) ****This chapter – the lemon and what he thinks seeing Peter. **

**4) ****Other suggestions?**

**Until Tuesday…**


	15. Chapter 15 Closure

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 15: Closure**

I slid into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Edward had laid out a towel and washcloth on the counter for me. I shook my head and smiled – this couldn't be the same man who'd scowled at me. I closed the door behind me and breathed a heavy sigh.

Holy shit. I had sex with Edward. Really good sex. A lot of it.

Now that I had a moment to myself, the reality of that sank in. I looked at myself in the mirror, wondering if I looked any different. Same hair. Same face. But I was definitely different. I replayed the events of the night before over and over again on a continuous loop in my mind. It was my new happy place, but it also held a lot of unknowns. He was no longer just a friend, but then what exactly was he?

The shower felt heavenly. I let the water flow over me as I tried to relax. I was sore and stiff, but the memories were so worth it. I smelled his soap – it smelled like him. Kind of. He smelled better. I wanted to touch him again, to feel him against me.

By the time I put on my dress that had seen far too much wear for one day and walked into the kitchen, Edward was there making breakfast. Before I'd even crossed the threshold into the room, he met me with a cup of coffee, setting it down on the counter as he pulled me into a hug.

"It smells good in here," I said, unable to keep the smile off my face. Once again, I was reminded how comfortable I felt with this little domestic scene.

Things had changed between us overnight, though, and I felt it there hanging in the air. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I didn't regret my choice to be with him. He was fabulous, and after everything I'd been through in the last year, I was entitled to feel good, even if it was short-lived.

"Did you have a nice shower?"

I sighed. "It was perfect. Thanks."

"I made you some eggs and toast," he said as he kissed my forehead.

I looked over his shoulder at the stove and saw a pan with eggs and shook my head. "You didn't have to do that."

He smiled and let go of all but my hand, pulling me toward the food. "I knew you were going to say that. Now, eat." He pointed at the pan authoritatively.

"How can I refuse such hospitality?" It was clear he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"You can't. That would be rude." He looked smug as he leaned against the counter and sipped his coffee.

"That it would."

"Do you mind if I hop in the shower really quickly?"

"Of course not." I wanted to offer to join him; the allure of seeing him naked under a stream of water was extremely enticing. But I'd just gotten out, so I held my tongue.

He lifted my chin with his index finger so he could kiss me softly. I didn't think I'd ever get used to the way that felt.

"I'll be quick."

I shrugged lightly. "Don't worry about me. I'll be here, apparently eating eggs."

He grabbed the remainder of his toast off a plate and headed off down the hallway to his room.

I made myself a plate of eggs, buttered a piece of toast and headed for the breakfast table.

Before I even had a chance to finish breakfast, I heard my ring tone from the depth of my purse, which I'd carelessly thrown on the entry table the night before in my haste to get into Edward's pants. I swiftly dug through it to find my phone, looking down to see it was Peter. I didn't want to talk to him, especially given where I was, but I felt as if I at least owed him a goodbye.

I flipped it on as I walked back into the living room.

"Hello?" I tried to keep my voice quiet, even though I knew there was no way Edward could hear me talking.

"_Bella, it's me_," he said, sounding exhausted. "_Peter_." He obviously felt the need to clarify now that things had changed between us.

"Hi." I had nothing left to say, and I didn't want to lead him on.

He sighed. "_Don't worry, I'm not calling to try and change your mind about anything. I know you well enough to know once you decide something, it's decided. I just…I have some of your things…and…you've got some of mine_."

I had completely forgotten about that. "Oh…uh…what's still in New York of mine?"

"_Well, there's the painting over my couch_."

I looked over my shoulder. Was I really having this conversation while standing in Edward's living room? I plunked down in an oversized chair, recalling with clarity how different it had felt the last time I sat here.

"You should keep the painting. It was always one of your favorites."

"_Okay_." He sounded resigned. "_And then I've got some clothes and things of yours. I'll pack them up and send them out_."

This was beyond awkward. "Thanks. I…uh…appreciate it. I'll send you anything I find. Just so you know, I plan on returning the crystal vase you gave me."

"_That was a gift_."

"I don't feel right keeping something that belonged to your mother."

"_Fine. Do whatever you want with it_."

There was a moment of awkward silence, so I spoke. "Peter, I'm sorry things worked out like this."

"_Yeah, I'm sure. Anyway, my plane leaves in a few hours, so I've got to get going. I just wanted to get that stuff worked out before I left_."

"Okay. Thanks." Why was I thanking him? I hid my face in my free hand. This was a nightmare. I just wanted it to be done.

"_Goodbye, Bella._"

"Goodbye."

I hit the end button and threw my phone on the coffee table. I sighed heavily and fell back onto the chair with a whoosh. I felt strangely hollow and numb. The door to my past was officially closed.

"Tying up some loose ends?" Edward's voice startled me, and I turned around to see him leaning against a pillar behind me. He was wearing jeans but no shirt and his wet hair appeared more brown than bronze, leaving me a little breathless. His arms were crossed, and his face was unreadable. I wondered how long he'd been standing there.

"Shit, you scared me!" I put my hand on my chest to calm myself.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," he said flatly. The stoic tone he used troubled me. He definitely didn't look or sound happy.

"You weren't interrupting. Of course you weren't," I stammered. "I just…I'm sorry about that." I pointed at my phone.

Edward nodded and pushed off the pillar, stalking over to the chair where I sat. Picking up on my nervous tone, he knelt in front of me on the floor, kneading my thighs and looking intently into my eyes.

"You're going to him, aren't you?"

I tried to close the distance between us, but his body language indicated that was a bad idea. "Edward, I'm not 'going to him.' I'm not going to see him at all. But he called me, and I needed to let him know I'd be sending some of his things back. I don't know if I'll ever see him again."

"But he's still here, isn't he? Is he at your house?"

Even though I didn't like the doubt he had in his voice, it was better than nothing. At least I knew he felt _something_.

"No, he's not at my house. He's leaving today. Please don't doubt me. You're the one I want."

He brushed a piece of my hair out of my face. "I don't like thinking of you with him. You deserve better. Of course, you deserve better than me, too, but I'm not staying away."

He finally let me lean forward into his arms, causing my dress to ride up. "Why do you keep saying things like that?" I asked as I buried my face into his chest. I didn't know what to think. It was the closest we'd come to discussing what was going to happen once I left this house, and true to his nature, he left me confused.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not going anywhere, and I don't want Peter near you anymore." His voice was tight and firm.

I reached my hand up around his neck as he pulled me into a kiss. Even though we'd spent last night and much of this morning kissing, it was new. I was still learning the way he moved and the way he touched.

He reached around me and slid my body forward on the chair so I was close to the edge and leaning back slightly. He pulled my dress, which was already up to my mid-thighs, up over my ass and spread my legs, grinding his hips into me. His kisses became harder and more demanding. I loved how he took control. My emotions were on a roller coaster with him constantly. One minute I was concerned and uneasy, and the next I was flying high.

The fingers of one of his hands gripped the back of my neck tightly as he leaned over me on the chair, while the other hand reached between my legs and cupped me, letting one finger dip underneath my underwear in a tease. He nipped at my earlobe. "Remember it's me who makes you feel this way."

I was out of control with lust. I wanted him to fuck me hard right there on the chair. I had never been like this sexually before, but something about Edward made me want to experience it with him. I was unable to say no. Unwilling to stop.

"Oh God, Edward," I half moaned when he slipped a finger inside me, still grinding against me as I was pinned under him. "How do you do that to me?"

"Look at me," he commanded. I realized I'd had my eyes closed. The intensity of his stare bore right through me as my breathing and heart rate quickened. "Let me touch you, taste you. Let me make you feel good." All I could do was nod.

He pulled away from me and sat back on his heels. His hands caressed my legs, starting with my ankles, over my knees, up my thighs, until his thumbs met at the top, teasing me with their feather-light touch. His fingers gripped my underwear, and he began to pull them down. I was throbbing for him, anxiously anticipating what he was going to do next.

He pulled off my underwear, and his hands made their way back up my legs until he reached my knees. He lifted my legs and set them on the armrests so I was completely exposed and open to him. I reveled in his touch. He kissed my inner thigh, his breath hot on my skin. I whimpered and squirmed when I felt the scruff on his jaw as he kissed firmly up my leg, and his hands splayed across my thighs.

"I want to do this. Hold still." He brought one hand down my leg and held my hip in place. He wasn't letting me go anywhere. I took a deep breath, knowing it would require all my focus not to throw him down and jump him. But I wanted this, and he apparently wanted to do it.

He kept his firm grip on me as he continued to kiss and nip my inner thighs. The pleasure of what he was doing to me was only outweighed by the anticipation of what I knew he was going to do. I was trembling as he got closer and closer, torturing me. He finally reached the top of my thigh, and I giggled a little from the ticklish touch of his lips as they barely ghosted over my hip joint.

"Oh God…you're killing me…" My voice was needy and desperate, a reflection of how I felt.

I glanced down my body to see him smile against my skin before putting his mouth and tongue where I needed them most. I gasped and was overcome with intense pleasure, unable to stop the thrust of my hips toward him.

His other hand moved down my other leg sliding a finger inside of me in one fluid motion. At the same time, he licked me slowly, moving his tongue in unison with his finger.

Oh my fucking God!

He began to move his fingers and hand in a delicious rhythm, hitting each sensitive spot I had. He groaned as I gripped at his hair and strong shoulders. I watched his beautiful mouth as his lips and tongue had their way with me. I didn't care that I was moaning loud enough to be heard miles away. I didn't care that my hands were clutching at him to pull him closer, or my knees were gripping the chair for dear life. All I cared about was that Edward was going to make me come – hard.

I dug my nails into his shoulders and screamed as my orgasm hit me like a freight train, and wave after powerful wave of sensation rolled through my body. He held my body still with one hand, his fingers clutching the skin of my hip, while his other stayed inside me, moving slowly but steadily as I rode out my release.

Once I was completely still, he pulled his fingers from my body, resting both hands on the armrests as I lowered my knees. He leaned in and kissed my ear, whispering, "You don't know what you do to me."

I smiled and even chuckled a little. What _I_ did to _him_? "Uh…likewise."

He pushed his body against me again and leaned in for a kiss, but this time his touch was soft and slow. He opened his mouth to me, his tongue slipping and sliding against mine, and I could taste myself, which was oddly erotic.

He kissed down my neck and chest and rested his head against my stomach while I played with his hair. "I think I need another shower – a cold one," he said jokingly. I understood the sentiment, as I was still plenty worked up despite having just had an orgasm.

"Can I return the favor?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him suggestively.

He kissed my stomach and caressed my sides. "Not today. That was just for you."

Did that mean I'd get another chance?

"What are your plans today?" he finally asked, still lying in my lap, pulling me from my over-analytical thoughts.

"I have to run a few errands and then work tonight." What I really wanted to do was stay in his arms and never leave.

He sat back and stood up, holding out a hand for me. I took it and promptly fixed my skirt once I was standing.

And then I was wrapped in Edward's arms.

"I wish I didn't have to go," I said as I clung to him.

He kissed my forehead, then my nose, then my lips - soft and tender in his touch. "Then stay."

I put my arms on his chest, putting some space between us so I could look up at him. "I wish I could. I really don't want to leave."

He smiled and kissed me sweetly. "I know you have to go. Text or call me when you get off tonight."

"It'll be late. I don't want to bother you."

"Trust me, it's not a bother."

I had to tear myself away, but I finally managed to pull out of his driveway around ten-thirty in the morning.

My head was reeling from the events of the past twenty-four hours. Had it really only been the day before when he and I had been so carefree having coffee?

The night before and the mind-blowing orgasm on his chair (which was my new favorite) permeated my thoughts. My body was still sore and aching from our night of passion, but far beyond any physical remembrance, the emotional toll had been far more significant.

I couldn't feel sadness over what happened with Peter, even though I knew I should. I had no regrets where he was concerned, except maybe not having had the conversation about where we were headed months earlier.

But Edward's advances had thrown me completely for a loop. I had no indication from him prior to the night before that there was anything more to his feelings for me than casual flirting with a friend. It never occurred to me that he would choose me over one of his model girlfriends. It was simply too far-fetched to consider. I now understood the look on his face when I watched him drive away from where Peter and I stood in my driveway. He was jealous. As confusing as that was at the time, the recognition made me happy.

I barely managed to get to work on time. I was so consumed with my thoughts about Edward and had so many conflicting emotions running through me, it was hard to concentrate. I was worried this meant nothing to him or he would think our friendship had run its course. He had said he wasn't interested in a relationship, so I wondered what that would mean for us. I didn't think I could go back to being just friends, either. I was already scared of losing him, even though he wasn't really mine.

I tried and failed to keep my distracting thoughts at bay. Rosalie noticed something was up with me right away and pulled me into the walk-in refrigerator.

"Okay, what's going on with you? You're a hot mess tonight. So -" Rosalie was suddenly tentative "- what happened with Peter?"

"We broke up."

"Oh, thank Christ. I was getting worried. Is that what's got you in a funk?"

I made a face. "Not exactly."

She raised her eyebrows at me and waited.

"You aren't going to believe what happened."

"You're still in love with him?" Rosalie was joking, but I had more important things to discuss.

"No!"

"You're in love with someone else?" She continued on with her sarcasm.

"Yes…I mean…just listen."

She stood up straighter and leaned in toward me. "You're in love? Now this I gotta hear."

I waved my hands frantically in front of my face to get her to stop. "No! Rose!"

"Then what?"

"I slept with Edward."

"Holy shit!"

I ran my fingers through my hair as the events came flooding back to me – as if they'd ever left.

She stood back and leaned on the shelf off to the side. "Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later."

"I'm being serious. What do I do?" I was starting to panic. I had been caught up in the moment, but once I drove away from his house, reality stared me in the face.

"Why do you have to do anything? Just see what happens." Rose clearly didn't understand the severity of the situation or the extent of my panic over it.

"I can't just 'see what happens.' Are you nuts? This is Edward we're talking about. Oh God…why did he have to be so…ugh…I'm so screwed."

"Bella, I want you to listen to me." Rose was all business, which was so what I needed to calm down. I needed to get some perspective.

I looked into her eyes. "Okay."

"This is not the end of the world. So you slept together? I promise, the sun will rise tomorrow just like every other day."

I laughed, happy for the brief reprieve from my barrage of emotions. "You sound like Little Orphan Annie."

She shrugged. "The girl knew her shit."

"So, you don't think it was a huge mistake?"

"Do you?"

I would have done it over again if I had the chance.

"No."

"So there's your answer."

"What's Alice going to think? Oh God…and Emmett? They're going to think I've lost my mind."

"No, they won't," she reassured me. "They love you. And Edward makes you smile. That's all anyone wants – for you to be happy"

I smiled involuntarily. Edward did make me smile.

"He also makes me so pissed I can barely see straight."

"Meh, a minor technicality."

I huffed, remembering how confused and angry Edward could make me.

"Bella?" Rose broke my train of thought.

"Yeah?"

"How was it?"

I leaned my head against the door and sighed. "It was amazing. I mean…really, really amazing."

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**A/N: So, the morning after…at least he didn't regret it. Nor did she. But what does this mean for them? **

**Still can't reply to reviews, which is frustrating. I'm so sorry! You can PM me if you have something you'd really like me to address, though.**

**I have good news and bad news:**

**Good news: I'm going to write 2 outtakes, the first of which will come next. **

**Bad news: Unless the stars completely align, I don't think there's any way I can get anything written by Friday. I've been slammed at work, I go to school at night, and I've got 2 kids. It's been hard to find time to write. I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can. It definitely won't be longer than a week. I'm going on a work trip tomorrow, so I should be able to get back on track.**

**My other fic, What Happens Now, has been nominated for an Avant Garde award for Best Lemon. Voting opens on Sunday May 22****nd****. The link is in my profile. I'd really love your support! **

**Thanks and love to my team this week. And to my readers. You guys know how much I love you. *muah***


	16. Chapter 16 Unexpected

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 16: Unexpected**

**Edward POV  
**

It was the night of Bella's party, and she was so excited, running around making sure everything was perfect.

Our friendship was new and unexpected, but I couldn't deny how much I enjoyed her company. I'd expected her to be like Aro, arrogant and selfish, but instead she was beautiful and caring with an undeniable work ethic. I was drawn to her. We'd spent a lot of our leisure time together recently, and the more time went by, the more I realized how fucked up everything was getting. I wanted to be with her, but not in the way she thought. I wanted her – in every sense of the word.

I hadn't had a real relationship since Tanya, and I didn't know if I was ready. It honestly scared the shit out of me. I didn't want to be that vulnerable again. All I knew was that I wanted Bella like a drug. I could never get enough of her, and when she wasn't with me, I ached for her.

But she wasn't mine. She was _his_. The guy was a douche. He had no idea how lucky he was.

The party was a success. Bella's friends were nice; I'd expected nothing less. As the night went on, I watched her basking in the glow of her friends' appreciation. She was so radiant and effortlessly beautiful. I drank a little more and kept thinking about telling Bella how I felt – that I was insanely attracted to her. But I could never find her alone, and I was getting increasingly anxious about it. I went back and forth in my mind internalizing what to do.

Bella finally noticed my moodiness, which I'd always had a tough time concealing, and pulled me aside, but I changed my mind about saying anything to her. I refused to be the 'other guy,' and as long as Bella was with Peter, I couldn't make a move. I wouldn't make a move. But it soured my mood. Just being around her was getting harder and harder. I wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt. I wanted to take her into her room and make her mine, but I couldn't.

Instead, I kissed her forehead in a gesture fit for a "friend." I couldn't have more than that. So I had to accept what I could have - a friendship. I felt a familiar ache at her closeness, breathing in her warm, sweet scent.

We made plans to have dinner after New Year's, and I was really looking forward to it. It felt like a date, and even though I knew it wasn't, I wanted to get Bella alone. I wanted to be selfish and keep her to myself, even if only for a night.

Bella had to work on New Year's Eve, so I decided to have an early dinner with a friend and watch the festivities at home. I didn't feel like socializing. I thought about going into Confidential, but I felt it might be a little distracting to Bella, and she needed to focus on her work. Still, I missed her. I wished she were with me, so I pulled out my phone and texted her.

_10, 9, 8…Happy New Year ~E_

_I wish you were here. ~B_

I didn't want to read too much into her words, but they made me happy. She was probably running around like a madwoman, but she missed me. It inspired me to write my next text.

_Why? You need a New Year's kiss? ~E_

I sighed as I hit send. She would undoubtedly think I was joking or harmlessly flirting. She had no idea how much I wished I could be there to kiss her at midnight – over and over.

_You have no idea. ~B_

Her response surprised me. I almost hopped up and drove to her, but I knew it was pointless. She had someone else, even if he wasn't here to kiss her properly. Why did she have to belong to someone else? Fuck if it didn't piss me off.

I pulled into her driveway to get her for breakfast the next morning and felt like a hormonal teenager, smiling like an idiot when she came out. She was wearing jeans that hugged her every curve tucked into brown boots and had on a form fitting sweater. She looked casual and comfortable, and just incredibly sexy. She had no idea how profoundly she affected me.

We got to the café, procured a table, and I finally relaxed. I enjoyed our time together in the mornings. It was a comforting routine.

"So, no supermodel date last night?" she asked me out of the blue.

"No. I'm afraid I was bad company," was what I said out loud, when what I was really thinking was, _I don't want anyone but you_.

She tried to keep things light. "You? Bad company? Never."

I didn't want to discuss dating with her. I didn't want to hear about her asshole boyfriend. I didn't want to tell her that no one made me feel like she did. I needed to be a friend, not a moody bastard. "I have a quota of how many nights in a week I can be interesting and charming, and I'm saving myself for tomorrow."

She smiled and instantly cheered me up. "In that case, I'm grateful. You can be pretty grumpy."

"Yeah, I guess I can."

If she only knew why.

We left the cafe, and I told her I had a surprise for her, which made her light up like a Christmas tree. She'd been going on and on about some ice cream place in New York and how she hadn't found anything as good in Napa yet, so I'd made her some of my coffee ice cream – a specialty of mine. I had planned on serving it on our date. I knew she'd love it.

I didn't see him when we first pulled into the driveway, but Bella did. Her body tensed up, and I could see the distress in her eyes.

"Who's that?" I looked at her, but by that point I didn't need an answer. I knew who it was.

"That's Peter," she said, confirming my suspicions.

I pulled the car in and parked it. I was seething mad but trying to keep myself in check. I was practically shaking as I got out of the car and watched him pull her into a hug and kiss her. He was afforded the luxury of doing what I'd only dreamt about.

Asshole.

Peter stuck his hand out to shake my hand. "Peter Callaghan."

I didn't want to shake his hand. I wanted to punch him in the gut. But Bella was watching, so I acquiesced and clasped his hand. "Edward Cullen."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Edward. Any friend of my Bella's is a friend of mine."

His Bella. Goddamn it.

I had to get out of there. Immediately.

I didn't even comprehend what Bella was saying to me as she followed me to my car. My mind was racing. It was easier to avoid thinking about Bella being with someone else when he was in New York. I still got to see her and be with her, and I took some comfort in knowing they weren't sharing a bed.

But he was here now, and tonight they would share a bed. They'd be fucking like rabbits, while I'd be at home yanking my own dick. My life fucking sucked at that moment.

I slammed the car door when I got home, and then the house door after that. I pulled a beer out of the fridge and slammed that door, too. Nothing helped. Nothing made my house feel less empty. Nothing got Bella and that douche bag out of my mind.

My phone buzzed. I knew it was her, but I couldn't deal.

_Are you okay? You seemed upset. ~B_

Upset? I actually choked on my beer a little bit. Upset didn't even begin to cover the range of emotions I was feeling. I couldn't pretend that I was okay seeing her with another man. Fuck that.

A few minutes went by, and I struggled with myself over calling her. Could I casually talk to her? Could I act as though I was okay with everything?

My phone buzzed again.

_Did I do something wrong? Call me, please? ~B_

I threw my phone onto the kitchen counter. No, I couldn't call her. I couldn't talk to her. I couldn't tell her how hard it was for me not to kiss her every time we said goodbye. I couldn't tell her that I'd whacked off more times since I'd met her than I had in years just thinking of being with her. No, I definitely couldn't talk to her yet.

I went to bed drunk and alone. I almost called her, as we usually texted or talked before bed, but I didn't. She'd be with him, and I couldn't take it. I thought about what it would be like to have her in my bed, kissing me, fucking me, and my dick got instantly hard. I reached down and grabbed myself, wanting to get a little release, even if it was by my own hand. I thought about her confession at Masenry, and how she'd admitted to fantasizing about me, and it turned me on almost as much as it pissed me off. I came with a fury all over my sheets and covered my eyes with my arm. I wanted the reality, not the fantasy.

My head was fucking throbbing when I woke up, as if I needed additional punishment.

My phone rang just as I attempted to pour myself a cup of coffee. I looked at the display. Bella, of course. I knew she'd just continue to call if I didn't at least answer, so I steeled myself and clicked on the phone. "Bella."

"Hi! I…uh…was expecting your voice mail…I mean…you haven't called me."

Just hearing her voice upset me. "I didn't want to interrupt."

"There's nothing to interrupt. I just…wanted to hear your voice."

This whole conversation was wrong. She had a boyfriend; she shouldn't be worrying about me.

"Bella…stop. Does _he_ know you're calling me?"

"Uh…no. He's out for a run."

I sighed. She was sneaking around, and I wouldn't fucking go there. Not with her. Not after Tanya. I didn't want to be someone's secret. Not even as a friend. "Go back to your boyfriend."

She sounded shocked and huffed. "Why are you so angry? Is this about dinner? I'll make it up to you. I promise."

I actually had to laugh. Dinner? No, this wasn't about fucking dinner. It was about the fact that I spent my time wanting her, and she was out fucking someone else. She was waiting for me to respond, so I finally spoke. "No, this isn't about dinner. Listen…enjoy your weekend with your boyfriend. Call me later."

"You don't have to –"

"Goodbye, Bella."

I didn't hear from her again all day. So many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call her, but I knew it would only make me feel worse.

I couldn't stand being at my house. It was too big, too empty. I needed to clear my head, so I went to the only place I knew could provide me any solace – Masenry.

But I didn't find solace. I only found a bottle of Woodford Reserve whiskey and an empty building. I tried to work, but that didn't help. I was fucking drowning in my own self-pity, and I hated it. This was why I never allowed myself to get in too deep - this feeling of loathing and depression. It wasn't fucking worth it.

I saw the lights pull into the driveway. I knew it was her somehow. I wasn't ready to face her yet, but I couldn't wait to see her.

I heard her calling me from downstairs, and then I heard her walking up the stairs. I was going to have to deal with this sooner than I had expected, sooner than I wanted.

She was at the door; her presence made the hair on my neck stand on end.

"What are you doing here?" My voice was harsher than I'd have liked.

She moved closer. "I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?"

_You're with him, _I thought, but I couldn't say it out loud. "Did you do something wrong?" I tossed back my drink. This was pointless.

"Won't you at least talk to me?"

The alcohol was clouding my judgment, making me feel like I should just tell her. I should just confess that I want her so badly it hurt. Without thinking of the consequences, I stood and moved toward her. If she wanted to talk, to really know what I was thinking, I could give her a taste. It wasn't as if it would ease my anxiety, but at least she'd know. She backed up as I advanced, yet I didn't stop until she was flush against the wall. She couldn't run from me. It was a fucked up thought, but I wanted her close. I didn't want her to run.

I wanted so much from her. I wanted her to want me the way I wanted her. I cupped her cheek with my hand, hoping it might convey what I couldn't say. But there was something eating at me. "Where's Peter?"

"At home."

I felt annoyed and disgusted. I'd been coveting some other guy's girlfriend, something I told myself I'd never do, not after what had happened. I dropped my hand and lumbered over to my chair. "Shouldn't you be with him?"

"He's packing. He's leaving tomorrow."

"Well, what a shame."

I felt like throwing up. I didn't know what I wanted from her, but one thing I knew for certain, the thought of another man touching her was more than I could take.

Before I realized what was happening, she was kneeling in front of me. "It's not like that. He's not who I want," she said softly.

I didn't know if I'd heard her correctly.

"He's not who I want." She repeated the words I'd heard before.

I had to know if there was something more. "Who do you want, Bella?"

She looked up into my eyes. "I want you."

My heart skipped a beat. It didn't seem possible that she'd reciprocate my feelings. Could she really have wanted me the way I wanted her?

I reached for her, unsure how to proceed. "Don't say that unless you mean it."

"I do mean it."

"You have a boyfriend."

"No, I don't. Not anymore."

He was gone. She hadn't stayed with him. I was overcome with emotion, primarily lust and relief. I'd held back so much with her, but now I was free to act on instinct, and instinct was telling me to kiss her. I pulled her to standing and walked her backward until her back was against the wall. How could I possibly convey how much this meant to me? My hands slid up her sides and skimmed over her shoulders until they settled on her face, cupping it gently.

I had to know this wasn't just a fluke. "Say it again."

"I want you." She stared into my eyes with an intensity I knew was sincere.

I was so selfish. I knew I could only bring her pain, but I couldn't help myself. I'd wanted her too much. "You shouldn't want me, but I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."

I stared at the lips I'd longed to kiss since I met her and couldn't hold back. My intuition told me this was risky but a risk I had to take. I moved forward until our lips touched. She didn't stop me. In fact, she encouraged me with a wispy sigh. I moved in again and really let myself enjoy the sensation I hadn't felt in so long. I clung to her, savoring the feeling of being lost.

She wrapped herself around me, and I couldn't help but grind into her, shamelessly letting her know the effect she had on me.

She pulled back slightly, but I was nowhere near done. I'd waited too long to be with her. I wasn't going to let her pull away from me. I kissed her neck and shoulders, pausing to memorize each curve she had. "You feel so good, Bella. I've wanted you for so long. But not here."

I knew what I wanted, and although the thought of taking Bella on a chair or bent over a desk in my office was hot as hell, I wanted so much more. I wanted her to be satisfied. Not just satisfied – overwhelmed.

She held me closer as if to prevent me leaving and whimpered, "No, don't stop."

I had a moment of guilt. She deserved more than me. I'd fuck this up. But I couldn't help it. "So perfect…I shouldn't…I want to…"

"Take me home, Edward"

That was all I needed.

She drove, but all I could think about was this amazing woman next to me. I tried to keep my excitement in check. I didn't want her to know how astonished I truly was to be with her. I wanted her to see me in a different way – the way I used to be.

By the time we arrived at my house, I'd talked myself into and out of this several times. I wanted her. She seemed to want me. But I didn't know if things would be worse between us if we took this step. At least now I was the only one suffering. But fuck, I was selfish. She was beautiful and sweet, and I had to have her.

I pulled her into my room, and she moved toward the dresser to make herself more comfortable. I tried desperately to calm my nerves. Sex was one thing. I could handle that. But this wasn't just sex. It was sex with Bella – something I'd fantasized about many times. My dick grew harder just thinking about Bella being here in my room.

I beckoned her to me, and she crawled up the bed, all unsure and sweet with her hair loosened around her shoulders. It was all I could do not to attack her. I pulled her into me, and she spread her legs to allow me to get closer. I didn't waste the opportunity. My dick was throbbing as I rubbed against her. "Can you feel what you do to me?" I rocked my hips in a slow rhythm. She was driving me crazy.

Instead of the hesitation I expected, she moved with surety, wrapping her leg around me and pulling me into a kiss. "God, you feel so good."

I was losing my grip. I pressed against her and could feel the heat coming off her body. I was so close to where I wanted to be. I rubbed up against her, and she closed her eyes and arched her back as she moaned.

If she didn't want this, I needed to know because I had a very loose hold on myself. "If you keep that up, I won't be able to control myself."

"Then let go." It sounded almost like a sigh.

I did just that. I let go and let my body do what felt right. We kissed and touched, and I memorized the feeling of her hands on me. She was sensational.

She went for my pants, which I was all too happy to indulge. I wanted her hands on me. When she reached my cock, I couldn't help but press into her. She was so soft and smooth on my skin. I was going crazy with desire. I wanted to be with her, really be with her. Foreplay was wonderful, but I'd waited too long. I sat back and slid my pants off while she watched. It was hot as hell.

I moved back on top of her. This time, the lack of clothing made the sensation much more powerful. There was hardly anything between us. "God, Bella, you're so warm and soft. Fuck…"

She moaned as I ground into her. I couldn't take much more,but I wanted it to be good for her.

"Fuck…I want to make love to you," I whispered as I thrust against her.

She made a strangled noise, and then I heard a distinct "Yes," and I was lost in her.

I sat up and pulled her all flushed and hot onto my lap. I needed her naked. I helped her out of her dress and pulled her once again against me. She was so carefree and perfect, unlike anyone I'd been with before. It was as if she knew exactly what would turn me on.

"So beautiful," I said as I kissed her. I had to have more, so I let her fall back onto the bed, while I removed my undershirt.

She grabbed the sides of her panties and slid them over her hips and down her legs a little ways. Didn't she know how long I'd waited to do just that? I wanted to be the one to strip her of her clothes, so I replaced her hands with mine, sliding her underwear the remaining way down her legs and then moving on to my own.

I was shaking as I lay back down on top of Bella. There was nothing between us, and no matter how much of our bodies were touching, it wasn't enough. Apparently I wasn't the only one feeling it because she murmured "I need you" in my ear, and I almost lost myself and pushed into her.

Regaining my composure temporarily, I managed to pull a condom out from the nightstand but was stunned when she took it from me. The feeling of her hands on me as she rolled the condom on was overwhelming. I'd thought about it so many times before.

She pulled me back on top of her as she lay back down, which was exactly where I wanted to be. My cock settled between her legs naturally, and I pushed forward, positioning myself.

"Are you okay with this?" I needed to make sure she was absolutely sure about this before I thrust into her.

She smirked as she spread her legs wider and pulled me inside. The heat of her body went straight through me, and every nerve ending in my body was on full alert. She felt better than I could have imagined, and I needed to pause a moment so I didn't come like a fucking teenager and ruin the moment.

"Is everything okay?" She stroked my hair, looking concerned. She didn't understand just how good she felt to me.

I tried to speak but it was hard. I was overwhelmed. "Yeah…I just…fuck…I need a second…"

I managed to regain control and began to move inside her. I wanted to be deeper. I wanted to make her scream my name as she came. I pushed her knees back even further and put my hand on her ass, changing the angle so my cock could penetrate her even deeper. Seeing Bella in the throes of passion made me want her even more, if that was possible.

"Harder," she whimpered. "Oh God, harder."

That was all the encouragement I needed, and I picked up the pace and intensity of my thrusts. We both moaned as our orgasms approached. I loved knowing I was making her feel good, and I couldn't wait to see her face as she came. I smiled as she finally succumbed to her orgasm. She was stunning. I couldn't contain myself and shortly after she came down, my own orgasm ripped through me. I shuddered and fell on top of her, unable to think about anything but the amazing feeling of being this close with Bella.

I quickly disposed of the condom, not wanting to be away from Bella's side any longer than necessary. She looked so demure and sweet as she lay in my bed. I slid in next to her and began to kiss my way up her arm. Would she ever understand what she did to me?

"You're perfect," I said in between kisses.

She snuggled up closer to me and dozed off. My mind was racing as I thought about how much better the reality of being with Bella was than the fantasy. I hoped she felt the same way.

Even as I awoke, I was aware of Bella's presence next to me in my bed. I let out a contended sigh. I liked her being here. I liked her warmth and her smile. I liked her – all of her.

Bella was sleeping peacefully, but I was selfish and wanted more. "Morning, beautiful," I whispered as I kissed her awake. She squirmed and smiled as I slipped my knee between her legs and began to rub up and down. I pressed my hips into her, wanting her to fully understand my intention.

I kissed her cheek and then her ear. "I haven't slept that well in a long time."

She paused a moment before speaking. "You're not hungover?"

"I wasn't that drunk."

She stiffened slightly. "I was worried…I mean…we…"

"Did you think this happened because I was drunk?" I didn't know what to think. I had been drinking, but that had nothing to do with why things had happened the way they had. I worried that she felt I'd used her.

She relaxed a little. "I hoped not."

I turned her so she was on her back and gently caressed her cheek with my thumb. She reached up and held my face in her hands. She didn't look concerned anymore, but I wanted her to feel confident with what had happened between us. "I'm sorry you were worried, but this had nothing to do with alcohol."

I leaned down and kissed her softly. I'd intended it to be sweet and innocent, but soon I was aroused and hungry for her. Her body felt pliable under my touch as I let my hands roam, eventually ending up between her legs. She seemed as eager as I was, spreading her legs wide to give me unlimited access. I slipped my finger inside and began moving it in a slow rhythm. My cock was throbbing. She was so hot and wet, and I was reminded how good it felt to be inside of her. "I need to be inside you again."

She reached down and gripped my cock and began to stroke it slowly. Fuck, she felt good. I pushed into her hand and moaned.

She glanced at my nightstand. "Condom?"

I quickly reached over and retrieved a condom, slipping it on before I returned to Bella. This time, there was no hesitation on my part. I wanted to fuck her hard. I wanted to make her come undone. I wanted her to know this was no accident. When I was fully inside, I whispered in her ear. "I'm perfectly sober, and you still feel fucking incredible."

She writhed and moaned under me as I moved in a somewhat forceful rhythm. I couldn't help myself; it was never enough. She finally arched her back and came hard. I couldn't stop the smile from forming as I watched her pant and recover.

But I wanted more. Always more.

I flipped her over so she was on her stomach and lifted her hips up to me. I grabbed my cock and thrust back into her, crying out as she engulfed me. This felt different, intense.

"Fuck…Bella…fuck…"

She leaned forward and gripped the headboard, fueling my desire. She liked me taking her hard, and I liked doing it. I positioned her where I wanted her, where the angle was such that each thrust almost caused me to explode. I concentrated on how she felt, how she moved. She was magnificent.

She reached down between her legs and began to touch herself as I continued my strokes. I almost lost it watching her do it. Her ability to completely let go and get caught up in the moment made me moved harder, faster.

Her body tightened as she moaned, "Fuck, I'm close."

This was what I wanted – to see her come unraveled because of me. "Yes…that's it."

She screamed as she came and pulsed around me. A few thrusts later, and I was right there with her, screaming her name as I spilled into her.

We stayed there for a few moments, Bella clutching onto the headboard with me behind her. I pulled out of her but didn't move away. I didn't want to leave. I kissed the back of her neck, causing her to shiver, and then rested my chin on her shoulder. I pulled her back against me, wanting the closeness.

As rough as we'd just been, there was tenderness now. I pulled her down to my side as I lay down, and we stayed there, kissing and touching, neither of us ready to burst the bubble of our contentment.

I was still a little bothered by our conversation from earlier, about the alcohol. I wanted to know how she was feeling. "Do you regret it? Because I don't."

"No. Not at all. Should I?"

"What about Peter?" I had to bring it up. He was still in her life, in her home.

She looked sad. "He's going back to New York."

I couldn't decipher the expression on her face. Was she sad about Peter? Did she feel guilty about being with me? "Was I just a rebound? A way for you to sever ties?"

She looked aghast. "No, you're not a rebound. I've been intending to break things off with him for a while."

"I don't want to be the 'other guy.'" I didn't know what I wanted, but I sure as shit wasn't going to be on the sidelines, fucking up other people's lives.

She kissed my nose to reassure me. "You are not the 'other guy.'"

I didn't feel entirely reassured, though.

She rubbed my chest playfully. "Just think - you used to hate me. And you date supermodels."

I thought about all that had happened between us. I had been so wrong about her. "No, Bella. I never hated you."

"And the supermodels?"

Her voice reflected insecurity. I could understand it. The women she'd seen me with were beautiful, but none of them captivated me like she did. If only she realized how little I thought of them and how constantly I thought of her. "Completely inconsequential."

I was getting in too deep, and I had a brief panic attack. I'd wanted this, but I'd been completely unprepared for how I'd feel once it was done. I didn't like being out of control of my emotions, and Bella had the ability to reduce me to rubble.

So I pulled back, taking back some of the control I'd relinquished.

I slipped on a pair of boxers and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm getting us some coffee."

I waited until I got into the kitchen before I completely freaked out. I rested my hands on the counter and hung my head.

_What the fuck do I do now?_

* * *

**A/N: This is the first of 2 EPOV outtakes I'll be writing. I hope this made up for my lag in getting it posted. RL has been crazy. I broke my nose, I'm in school, I work full time, 2 kids – you get the idea! I'm going to do my best to crank out another chapter this week, but I'll have to wait and see. I promise I'll at least post once a week. Don't forget to review. I love reading them, even if FanFiction isn't letting me reply. They make my day.  
**

**There's a pic of Bella's outfit from coffee on my profile.**

**Many thanks to TwiHart and Viola Cornuta, my betas, and ellierk, Dana1779, and Sunfeathers, my pre-readers for the quick turnaround so you guys didn't have to wait any longer. **

**I had a nice Twitter chat the other night with two authors, secamimom and . It was refreshing to see such great support. They're both super talented, so I hope you'll check out their fics. **

_**See You Again**_** by Mrs. Robward**

_**Your Presence Still Lingers**_** by secamimom**

**Lastly, voting is open for the Avant Garde awards. My fic, What Happens Now, was nominated for Best Lemon. I'd love your support! Link is in my profile. **

**Next up, moving forward…**


	17. Chapter 17 February

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**Chapter 17: February**

I followed Rosalie's advice, even though it wasn't like me to just let things with Edward progress naturally. I stopped asking questions and sabotaging myself, even though internally I was tentative.

Things progressed quickly with us – I was on an emotional high. It seemed as if we were always together. The nights I wasn't working, I spent with him at his house. I liked being there. I liked knowing he was next to me as I slept, and I loved waking up to the warmth of his arms. When we made love, I felt completely wrapped up in him, by him. He was tender and caring, yet took charge. No matter how much time I spent with him, I could never get enough, but I never took it for granted. I felt cherished for the first time in my life.

We hadn't discussed our relationship. I knew there were things from his past that haunted him; he'd alluded to them on several occasions. There were still moments of hesitation and uncertainty, when I could see pain behind his eyes, but I couldn't get him to open up to me. The fact that he was such a closed book frustrated me, but I hoped in time he'd trust me enough to let me in.

For my part, I knew without a doubt that I was falling in love with him, and that scared me because I'd never felt such strong emotions for anyone, and he had no idea how easily he could crush me.

Rosalie and Alice were a constant source of support, but I got the feeling they were getting irritated with my constant insecurity. I had to admit, it was out of character for me, and I didn't know quite how to deal with it. But I figured it was just how things went when in love. He had my heart in his hands, and I gave it to him without caution. Alice and Rosalie, and even Emmett were concerned I was getting in over my head because of how fast things had progressed. I was happy – they could see that – but they worried Edward and I weren't on the same page. Frankly, I was worried about that myself.

I hadn't told Edward how I felt for two reasons. The first was I had no idea how he felt about me. I could tell he cared by the way he acted around me, but he'd never said much outside the bedroom. The other reason was I was genuinely worried he'd freak out and leave me. He'd been quite clear when we were just friends that he didn't do relationships. I'd seen him with a revolving door of women, proving that very point. To my knowledge, I was the first 'girlfriend' he'd had in some time, even though I didn't really even know if that's what I was. One night after we'd made love, I asked him if we were exclusive. I thought it was a fair question, given the intimacy of our relationship. He assured me he was only with me, but there was indignation in his voice, as if he was offended by the asking. I hadn't brought it up again.

I lazily lay in his bed one Saturday morning. Today was significant because I was going to Edward's parents' house for dinner. I wanted to delay getting up as long as possible, because getting up meant I had to face my nerves. I pulled one of his soft down pillows over my head to hide from the imposing light coming in through his window.

I felt his kisses on my shoulder as he snuggled up behind me. "You can't hide from me. I'll find you."

"I just want to sleep for five more minutes," I grumbled, not taking the pillow off my head.

He chuckled. "All right, you lazy bum, but only five minutes. I'll come grab you once I've made some coffee." He rolled away and climbed out of bed, walking into the bathroom.

I rolled onto my back. What was the deal with me? I'd already met Carlisle. Why was I so worried about this? I sighed and threw the pillow beside me, silently chiding myself for being such a wuss. If I could handle Edward and his moods, surely I could handle Carlisle and Esme.

Thankfully, Edward didn't stay true to his word and let me sleep longer than the promised five minutes. I finally mustered up enough energy to get out of bed and get dressed. Edward was already in the kitchen when I got there. Having an early riser for a boyfriend was a nice perk – the coffee was always made by the time I got up.

"Hey, you made it by – " he glanced at his watch " – nine-thirty. It's a new record."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "I work in the restaurant business. I'm a night owl. I like staying up late."

He pulled me into his arms and backed me up against the counter, grinding against me. "I'm not complaining at all about your late night activities."

"You can't have it both ways, Mister. If you want me awake at night, you've got to let me sleep in the morning. Quid pro quo." I liked being this playful with him. It was a side only I got to see.

He pulled his fingers across his lips like he was closing a zipper. "My lips are sealed. It's a fair trade."

He stepped back, freeing me and refilling his coffee. "So, I'll pick you up about 6:00 to go to my parents' house. Will that work?"

"Yeah. I'm feeling a little guilty about not being at Confidential, but Alice swore she had things under control."

"I'm sure it'll fine," he said reassuringly.

"What I'm really worried about is meeting your mom."

I remembered when I'd met Carlisle at Masenry. He was so different than Edward in most ways that I'd just assumed Edward was more like his mom than his dad. That thought had me scared. I wasn't sure I could handle two people that intense.

Edward tucked a piece of hair behind my ear in a comforting gesture. "My mom's going to love you."

"I don't know –"

His lips touched mine, effectively shutting me up. "I do know. Don't be nervous."

After I left his house, I felt like I was in a frenzy. I wanted to make sure I had the right outfit – something that showed I was confident but not slutty, something elegant but not trying too hard.

I ran through the door of my house at five-o'clock after running errands all afternoon. I had barely an hour to get ready, and I was a wreck. At least I had my outfit picked out.

In the end, after many trips to different stores, I'd decided on a simple black dress with black, knee-high boots. It was conservative, but I really didn't want to come off like some of the bimbos I'd seen him with. It was stupid really, since I had no idea if he'd ever brought any of them home to meet his parents. Still, I wanted to be the opposite of them tonight. I may not have been the supermodel bombshell, but I had Edward, which was more than any of them could say.

I smiled at that thought, my confidence getting a much needed boost, as I finished up the final touches to my hair and makeup.

Edward was right on time, looking dashing in gray pants and a deep blue sweater.

"You ready?" he asked as I ran back into my room to grab my wrap.

"Yep, just a sec," I yelled, trying to calm myself.

His face lit up when I came back in the room. "You look beautiful. Are you still nervous?" he asked, sweeping me into his arms.

"Nope. Nerves of steel." I smiled up at him, and he leaned down and kissed me sweetly and deeply. I felt my nerves melt away as he led me out the door. He had a way of making me feel comfortable and grounded.

It wasn't a long drive, but it was long enough for my nerves to pick back up.. We finally pulled up a long driveway and came upon the most darling cottage I'd ever seen. It was surrounded by lush trees and grapevines. The house itself was like something out of Hansel and Gretel with a sharp a-frame entry way and picturesque framed windows. It looked like part of the landscape, as if it had always been there.

Edward put his hand on my knee, reassuring me things would be okay.

A stunning woman, whom I instantly guessed was his mom, came out on the front porch as we pulled up and waved. Just as I'd thought, Edward looked just like her. She was petite and very well put together, but the first thing I noticed was her welcoming smile. Edward had obviously not inherited his broodiness from her, that much was apparent. It helped me relax tremendously.

"Hi Mom," Edward said as we climbed the few porch steps.

She grabbed him and hugged him tightly. The sweet show of affection made me smile. Edward was definitely loved.

"And you must be Bella," she said as she opened her arms for a hug.

I wasn't used to such open shows of affection, but it was infectious coming from her. "It's so nice to meet you," I said. "Edward talks a lot about you."

She pulled back and gently tapped Edward's arm, obviously liking that statement.

"Come in, come in. It's freezing out here."

She ushered us inside, and the first thing I noticed was how inviting the house was. Everything was done tastefully, but nothing was over the top. The smell of something roasting permeated the air, and I was instantly comfortable. I felt as if I was eating dinner at an old friend's house.

Carlisle came out of the kitchen wearing a pink apron that said "Kiss the Cook" on it. It suited him. Both Edward and I stifled a laugh.

"It's about time Edward brought you around, Bella. The way he talks about you –"

"Dad!" Edward shot him a stare, and Carlisle stopped talking.

I was actually hoping he'd have continued. So Edward talked about me to his father? Interesting.

The dinner was very nice, although Carlisle apologized several times for it not being "gourmet" enough for me. I understood people's reticence in cooking for me, but he had nothing to apologize for – a fact I reminded him of several times throughout dinner. He seemed to appreciate the reassurance.

After we ate, we went into the living room for a drink by the fire. I was told countless stories about Edward, his brother Jacob and his sister, Jane. Apparently they were quite a bunch growing up. I'd heard Edward mention his sister and brother a few times – just enough to know the basics.

His sister worked in Los Angeles as a fashion designer. She was the youngest of the bunch, three years Edward's junior. He was very protective of her from what I could tell. The stories Carlisle and Esme told me about them growing up confirmed that as well.

His brother lived in Las Vegas as a wine merchant, distributing to all the restaurants on the strip. Apparently, Napa was too provincial for him. He was only a year older than Edward, and it sounded as if the two of them were quite competitive growing up.

I loved hearing the stories about Edward and his family, but it made me realize just how little I knew about him. It was somewhat unsettling. How could I be in love with someone when I knew so little about him?

The guys went into the kitchen to check out some aged scotch that Carlisle had just gotten. There was only a moment of awkward silence between me and Esme before she stood and motioned for me to follow her. She was not what I'd expected at all, and I laughed internally at how scared I'd been about her. She was kind and warm.

We walked out on the back porch, which was enclosed but had windows that opened up to the lush landscaping and rolling vineyards behind the house, which were illuminated with landscaping lights.

"The view here is amazing," I said wistfully.

She nodded. "Hmmm…it is. It's one of the reasons I love it here."

"It's funny. You don't see views like this in New York. It wasn't until I moved here that I realized how much I miss the wide open spaces."

"There's a lot you can learn by moving to a new place. That was quite brave of you, Bella."

"I didn't want to have any regrets in life," I confessed, suddenly saddened by the absence of my father.

After a moment, Esme continued. "You know, Bella, I owe you a lot of thanks." She put her hand on mine and squeezed.

I was instantly confused. "Thanks? Why?"

"You brought back Edward's smile. I haven't seen him this happy in years."

I was flattered. "That makes me happy to hear, but I'm not sure I can take the credit. Sometimes I feel like we're on a great path, but he's so hard to read. I don't know…"

This was the wrong conversation to be having with Edward's mom, and I wished I could take it back. The night had been going so well.

Esme moved closer to me and put her hand on my arm in a gesture so definitive of mothers. "Give him time. He's not used to this. It's been a while. But I know my son, and there's a twinkle in his eye when he talks about you."

I was so desperate for any reassurance that I probed, even when I knew I shouldn't. "He talks about me?"

She smiled and looked away. "You're special, Bella. Don't think he doesn't see that."

I relaxed a little and took a sip of my wine. It wasn't much in the way of reassurance, but it was something I could cling to.

We walked back inside, and Edward and Carlisle were back in the living room by the fire with their scotches. Edward smiled when he saw me and put his hand out for me to join him on the couch. My heart skipped a beat. I didn't know how he did it, but I felt so special with him, so comfortable.

He kissed my temple as I sat down, and I could see Esme's eyes sparkle at the sweet gesture. Maybe this _was_ something different? Maybe we had something special?

"So, Bella, are you guys going to the Love Conquers All Gala?" Carlisle asked.

Edward stiffened beside me, and I looked and saw the concern on his face.

"Uh…I don't know what that is."

Esme chimed in. "It's an annual fundraiser for the American Heart Association held up at Auberge du Soleil. It's always around Valentine's Day, and we've purchased a table. It's a very nice event and a lot of fun. I'm surprised Edward didn't mention it." She glared at Edward.

I wanted to save him from having to explain. He obviously hadn't intended to invite me. "It's no big deal," I said dismissively.

Edward put his hand on my knee, obviously sensing my unease. "I was planning on inviting you; I just hadn't gotten around to it yet."

I looked at him expecting to see insincerity, but it wasn't there.

"It's on Valentine's Day?" I asked, trying to recover.

"The weekend after. It's black tie. Feel like getting dressed up?"

I smiled as Edward squeezed my leg. I'd seen him in a tuxedo before, and I could think of nothing better than to see him in one again.

"Are you asking me to be your date?" I was being coy, but I couldn't help it.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear. "Yes."

I giggled. "In that case, I'd love to."

We said goodnight and promised to get together again with Carlisle and Esme soon. I had thoroughly enjoyed my evening, despite my nerves initially. Still, I couldn't help but think about the event. Edward and I had never gone out together to an industry event. Technically, it was for charity, but there would be plenty of people we both knew there.

"You know, this Gala will be the first big event we've been to together. Are you okay with that?" I asked once we were on the road. I was fishing. I was no supermodel, and we weren't even officially together. I wanted him to tell me what I needed to hear.

"What? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"

I should have known that my fishing expedition would lead me nowhere.

I shrugged. "No, I was just making an observation." Even though I wasn't.

Edward reached across and grabbed my hand. "That pretty little head of yours is always going, isn't it?"

I laughed quietly. That was the end of that.

* * *

The night of the Gala came quicker than I could have imagined.

As I got out of the shower, I was suddenly rethinking my dress. It was considerably sexier than I usually wore. I should have known not to go shopping with Alice and Rosalie. They gave me a false sense of confidence in my sex appeal.

My dress was a light yellow color, which I would have thought would wash out my skin tone but actually looked quite fresh. It was floor length silk that clung to my every curve. The front was fairly tame, just a simple v-neckline and a straight body. But the back was a whole other thing. It plunged all the way down my back, with just two straps crossing near the small of my back. I rarely wore backless dresses, so I felt cold and exposed. I pulled my hair back in a tight chignon with a defined part and wore long crystal earrings that grazed my shoulders. It was a bold look, especially for me. But since I had to stand next to Edward all night, I figured I'd have to up my game just to look like I belonged on his arm.

It might have been the wine I was drinking as I got ready, but I had to admit I looked pretty damned good when I was done.

Edward rang the doorbell, and I smiled as I glanced at the clock. He was punctual as ever.

When I opened the door, I nearly gasped. Edward was in a tuxedo similar to the one I'd seen him in the first time I met him. But this time, he was in it for me, and that made all the difference.

"Bella," he said breathlessly. "You look…just…wow."

I smiled and did a twirl for him. If he liked the front of the dress, he really liked the back. He leaned in and kissed my cheek. "That's it. You're wearing my jacket for the rest of the night. I can't handle competition."

He always made me feel like a million dollars.

The room where the event was held was simply stunning as was the hotel, which was perched up high on a hill overlooking the entire valley. There were several long tables that held probably fifty people each. The centers of the tables were raised and lit from underneath, casting a soft glow to the gorgeous centerpieces. Hanging above each table was a delicate chandelier that cast thousands of tiny twinkle lights down onto the table. Even though it wasn't exactly intimate, it felt as if Edward and I were the only ones there.

Carlisle and Esme joined us, and the conversation was easy and light.

Edward suddenly choked on his drink and stilled beside me, distress clearly displayed on his face.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, concerned.

He clenched his jaw but said nothing. I turned my eyes toward the object of his icy glare to see an older couple approaching us. Esme reached out and touched Edward's arm, but he shook her off.

"Carlisle, Esme, how nice to see you," the woman said as she kissed Esme on both cheeks. Pulling back, she looked at Edward, who was as still as a statue. "Edward, it's good to see you."

The tension in the room was palpable. I stood silently waiting to be introduced. When that didn't happen, I squeezed Edward's hand, and he finally realized what I was asking.

"Oh…uh…Irina, Eleazar, I'd like you to meet Bella Swan…my…friend."

I smiled and shook their hands, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. So I was his friend?

Once we were alone again, I prodded a little more. "Who were those people?"

He took a sip of his drink, stalling. "They're friends of my parents."

"And that's all?" I knew there was more to the story. There was no other explanation for his sudden change in demeanor.

He looked at me blankly, an expression I'd come to know well. "They're Tanya's parents."

"Ah." I nodded my head. Tanya's parents. And I was just a friend. Was he worried they'd tell Tanya he had a girlfriend? Was he ashamed of me?

I felt hot all of a sudden. I didn't trust myself not to say something I'd regret, so I excused myself to go to the restroom.

Once inside, I grabbed a towel, splashed a little water on it, and touched it to my face, which was red hot with irritation. I needed to calm down.

A woman came out of one of the stalls. I recognized her instantly. She had been Edward's date the first time I saw him. She was even more stunning than I'd remembered. And I thought my night couldn't get any worse.

She was tall, probably over six feet with her heels. Her dress was black strapless, fitted in the body but full from her waist. It was short, which made her legs appear to go on forever. I'd felt confident about the way I looked tonight until I saw her. Why would Edward have chosen me when he could have her?

I smiled with my mouth closed and pretended to dig in my purse for my lipstick.

"You're here with Edward," she said, leaning over the counter to wash her hands. She didn't even really look at me.

"Yes."

"You'd better watch yourself with that one. He's tricky." She was so nonchalant, as if my whole heart wasn't on the line with him.

I turned toward her and leaned on the counter. "Why do you say that?"

She shrugged and made a face, fixing her makeup in the mirror. "You don't have to be defensive. I'd just be careful if I were you. Edward…well…let's just say he's not the easiest person to be with. I certainly wouldn't trust him."

Now I _was_ defensive. "Maybe you just don't know him very well."

"Maybe. Or maybe I do."

With that, she turned on her heel, her curls bouncing as she strode off with her mile long legs, leaving me in a cloud of expensive perfume. The door closed behind her, and I sat there for a moment, collecting my thoughts.

I rejoined Edward after a few minutes. I wanted to ask him about her. I wanted him to tell me she was just some jealous ex of his with a determination to make him suffer. I wanted to feel confident that her warnings were unfounded, but I couldn't.

I was quiet on the ride home, thinking, deciding if I should bring it up. Between the whole incident with Tanya's parents and running into one of his dates, my confidence was shaken.

By the time we got back to his place, we'd hardly said anything to each other. It wasn't necessarily hostile, but normally we'd have been much more talkative.

I held onto the dresser in his room as I took off a shoe. Edward was on the other side of the bed, taking off his jacket and loosening his tie.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked, not stopping what he was doing.

"I'm just tired." I didn't know what else to say and somehow, _I'm so insecure that I'm doubting everything we have_, didn't seem like a good choice.

He pulled off his undershirt, which distracted me for a moment, before he said, "You're a terrible liar."

We both climbed into bed, and he reached out to pull me into him. He was warm and comforting, and I melted into his touch. He made me feel secure when he held me like this, like I could tell him anything. "You introduced me as your friend tonight."

He gently ran his fingers through my hair. "I wasn't prepared to see the Denalis. I was taken off guard."

I sat up on one elbow and looked down at him. "Are you worried she'll find out you have a girlfriend, if that's even what I am?"

His gaze was fixed on me. "No. They just remind me of my past. I got rattled."

"Can you tell me what happened with Tanya?"

"No. Not tonight."

"Edward –"

"Bella, drop it."

I figured I was already out on a limb, so I told him more. "I ran into one of your former girlfriends or whatever. The tall Latin looking one from the Harvest Ball?"

"When? Tonight?" He looked perplexed.

"Yeah. In the bathroom. She warned me about you. She said you couldn't be trusted."

He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, facing away from me and rubbed his face with his hands. "Do you believe her?"

"I don't…I don't know what to think. I want to trust you, but you have to open up to me a little bit."

He was irritated. "If I'm not enough for you, feel free to leave."

I scooted over to him and wrapped my arms around him from behind. "You are who I want."

"But I'm not 'open enough' for you." He made air quotes with his hands.

"You have to understand. I have no idea how you feel about me or our relationship. I'm just grasping at straws trying to understand you."

"I told you I'm shitty at relationships."

I kissed his shoulder. "But you're not. I think you're just scared. I'm not going to hurt you."

"You don't know that." He still wasn't looking at me.

"I'm not leaving you."

I felt him soften in my arms, and then he turned to face me. "Don't leave, Bella."

His hands came up to cup my face before he pulled me into a passionate kiss. When we were together like that, I forgot all my worries and insecurities. All I could focus on was him and how amazing he felt. He engulfed me.

He removed what was left of my clothes and his as well. He held me tightly as he made love to me, never letting our bodies separate. There was so much emotion behind every movement, every touch. I imagined his body was saying the words I'd longed to hear but that his mouth couldn't or wouldn't say. For now, it was enough.

I fell asleep that night with no more answers than when I'd started, but somehow I was okay with that. For tonight anyway, I could let it all go and just feel him, love him. He needed my love, and whether or not he felt the same way about me, I'd give it to him as long as he'd let me.

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**A/N: So I know you're angry with Edward, but he's trying! He doesn't want to be a monster. Bella's helping him let down his guard. **

**Thanks for all the support! I am really going to try and get the next chapter ready for Friday. If I can't, it'll be Tuesday again. Thanks for being so understanding. I've loved reading your reviews, even though I couldn't respond. FFn seems to have fixed the problem, so hopefully I'll be back on track with my review replies. **

**There are lots of new pics on my profile for you to enjoy! **

**Thanks so much to my team. My betas, TwiHart and Viola Cornuta, worked super fast to turn this around. And many thanks as well to my pre-readers: ellierk, Dana1779, Sunfeathers and scsquared. **

**Next up, they have a little fun. Will Bella reveal a little too much?**


	18. Chapter 18 San Francisco

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 18: San Francisco**

"Bella, we're only going for two nights," Edward said jokingly, pointing to my rather large suitcase. "You'd think we were going for a month."

"You'll be happy I packed so much later. Now stop distracting me." I pointed firmly at the door, ordering him out of the room.

Before I knew what was happening, he tackled me and we both fell onto the bed. He ground his hips into me, and I could tell by the hard feel of him what was on his mind.

"You want a distraction?" he asked seductively.

I succumbed to his playfulness. "You know I can't resist you."

"I like that." His hand crept up my leg and under my dress. "You wore this to torture me, didn't you?"

"Poor tortured Edward."

He brushed my folded clothes aside and lifted us further onto the bed, pulling me to straddle him. His hands squeezed my sides and slid further up my body until he cupped my breasts through my dress. "You are so beautiful," he muttered as I threw my head back and closed my eyes. He made me believe it.

I put my hands on his chest and leaned down for a kiss, sliding further down the bed. I was feeling bold and wanted to see Edward come undone by my touch. I lowered myself on his body, letting my hands trail behind. My fingers grazed his chest and ran over his smooth abs. I lifted the hem of his shirt to allow me access to the waistline of his pants.

Edward's hands moved to my shoulders and gently rubbed there, accepting my advances. He propped himself up on a pillow slightly while I made quick work of his belt and pants button. I slid the zipper lower, keeping my eyes fixed on his. He was encouraging me with his penetrating stare. I lowered his pants over his hips and slid them down his legs, bringing his boxers with them. I wanted him to be free to move.

My hands moved back up his legs until I reached the top of his thighs. His cock was at full attention. He reached to grab it, but I stopped him. "Let me do it."

He pulled his hand away and placed it on the back of my head, playing with my hair. He didn't attempt to move me to where he wanted me, instead letting me take the lead.

I reached out and took his cock into my hand, rubbing the tip with my thumb.

He let his head fall back against the headboard. "I love it when you touch me."

There was something I'd never done with him, and I wanted to try it. I wanted him to feel as good as he always made me feel, and I was thrilled at the thought of taking control this time. I leaned down and kissed his inner thigh. His eyes shot open, and he gasped. With our eyes locked, I kissed him again, this time a little closer. His eyes shot open, and he sucked in a breath. With our eyes locked, I kissed him again, moving closer to his cock as it twitched in my hand, and I suppressed a smile.

"What do you want, Edward?" My mouth lingered right near his cock.

"I…come on…fuck…" His hand was holding my hair tighter, but still, he made no attempt to move me.

Edward brought out a brazen and assertive side I didn't know I had. "Tell me. I want to hear you say it."

I moved my hand up and down his shaft, causing him to squirm beneath me. I leaned in for one more kiss right at his hip joint, and he jumped.

"Okay…fuck…I want you to suck me."

I smiled. He was putty in my hands. Jackpot.

I lifted my head and positioned his cock right at my lips. The tip was barely touching my lips. I let my tongue slip out and lick him lightly. He hissed but held still. Looking up at him, I slid him into my mouth. His hand in my hair was gripping tightly, and he held me firmly.

"Jesus Christ!" His voice was raspy and deep, and his face looked pained in a beautiful way.

I pulled him out and then moved back down, taking him in even further this time. I gripped the base and felt him grow harder. His moans encouraged me.

"Am I doing okay?" I asked as I pulled him from my mouth and rubbed my hand up and down his length.

"God, it's fucking perfect."

This time, he used his hand to push me back down on him. Normally, that would have been off-putting, but with him, it turned me on. I liked knowing that he was desperate for me.

I took him in again, causing a string of obscenities to explode from his mouth as I began to move in earnest. I wanted to make him come - hard. Using both my hand and my mouth, I sucked and licked and rubbed him until he was writhing underneath me.

"I'm so close, baby… God…don't stop." He was losing control, and I loved it.

He held my head still as he thrust his hips up into me and screamed as he came in hot spurts down my throat. His body was stiff with a sheen of sweat from the exertion. He was glorious, and I had made him that way.

I kissed the tip as I pulled my lips from his softening cock and moved up Edward's body. His eyes were closed, and his head was thrown back, panting vigorously to recover. He wrapped his arm around my body as I curled up next to him.

I rubbed his chest and smiled as he came down. He lifted my chin after a moment and leaned in to kiss me. "You astound me."

His words were simple, but I loved hearing them. I knew it was about more than just getting off. He was lowering his walls, albeit painfully slowly.

I climbed off the bed and picked up my clothes, which had been scattered on the floor, while he put his pants back on.

"Now, no more distractions or we'll never get out of town," I scolded.

He smirked. "That's a tough sell. You shouldn't have been so good if you wanted me to stop."

We finally got on the road mid-morning on the short drive into San Francisco. I hadn't spent any significant amount of time in the city, only brief ins and outs for layovers and interviews. Alice had supplied me with a list of must-sees, and of course Edward knew the city well, so I was really looking forward to a weekend away.

We pulled into the driveway of the St. Regis hotel, which was located in the middle of everything, where we were given first class treatment from the moment we stepped out of the car. I felt like royalty.

The room was decorated in varying shades of neutrals with clean lines and impeccable quality. I fell back on the bed and sighed. "I'm so happy to be away for a few days. I needed a vacation so badly."

Edward jumped on and lay down next to me. "I think we both did."

He started kissing me, and I could have easily gotten lost in him, but my stomach was growling. Edward was like a little kid, pointing out everything he saw as we walked the short distance to the Embarcadero where we ate lunch. Despite it being early spring, the sun came out once, which I understood was something to be cherished in the city.

It had been weeks since the Love Conquers All Gala and our fight afterwards. Several times, I'd thought about bringing things up with him, but it never seemed like the right time. This weekend, however, I had vowed to have a serious discussion again. I deserved to know where I stood with him. I just had to get the timing right.

We got back to the hotel with plenty of time to sit upstairs at one of the bars and have a cocktail while we watched the sunset. It was a beautiful city, especially at dusk. I wanted to wear something sexy for Edward, so I picked a little black dress with a unique drape, almost revealing my entire back. I loosely put my hair up, letting several pieces fall where they may. We hailed a cab which took us on a white-knuckled drive across town, finally depositing us on the curb in front of the restaurant.

Women stared at Edward as we walked up. Why wouldn't they? Still, I felt a mixture of pride and jealousy surge through me.

We were seated at a lovely table near the back, and we promptly ordered a bottle of champagne.

"What shall we toast to?" I asked, raising my glass of bubbly.

"To my beautiful girlfriend." Edward put his glass forward and clinked with mine. On the outside, I was calm, but inside I was reeling. It was the first time I'd heard him call me that.

I figured it was as good of a time as any to have the conversation I knew I needed to have. I took a sip of champagne for some additional courage and sighed to calm my nerves.

"I have to talk to you about something," I said, nervously playing with the stem of my glass.

He reached across the table and grabbed my hands, rubbing the backs gently with his thumbs. "Is everything okay?"

I nodded, but then I realized I needed to just come out with it. "I've been struggling with something for a while, and I need you to hear me out."

He pulled his hands back and placed them in his lap. "Okay."

"You're kind of a mystery to me."

"Bella, no –"

I put my hand up in front of my face. "Hear me out. There are times when I feel so close to you. And then there are times when I feel as if I hardly know you."

He had a pained look on his face. "You do know me."

"It's not enough, Edward. I need to know where I stand. I need to know what exactly this" – I motioned between us – "is."

"I'm not enough. Is that what you're saying?" He didn't sound angry, more concerned.

"How do you feel about me?" I asked bluntly.

"You know I care about you."

"Do I? We've never talked about it."

He shrugged and took a sip of his champagne. "Sure, we do. All the time."

"What we say in bed doesn't count." I was being as straight forward as I could. "I want to know we're on the same page – that we want the same things."

He sighed and shook his head as if he was having an internal conversation with himself. I waited and watched until he finished his struggle. "You deserve that. You deserve someone who can be that kind of boyfriend."

"Are you my boyfriend?" Maybe some other approach might work.

"Yes. At least I hope I am."

I reached across the table and stroked his cheek with my hand until his eyes met mine. This was hard for him, I could see that, but I needed to hear it all the same. "You are."

He reached up and grabbed my hand before I could pull it back. Suddenly, the lines on my hand were the most interesting thing in the room. "I'm trying to be what you need. I do…care. I just don't know what I want."

"Do you want me?"

"So much it hurts."

"Okay then, you have me."

He pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed the back, lingering a little longer than necessary. It was little gestures like these that made me feel as if maybe he did love me as I did him.

I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I wanted him to say it first, and he seemed so tentative. I didn't want to scare him away by pushing him. It was hard enough not knowing how he felt, but would I be able to handle it if I did know and if he didn't feel the same way about me?

I decided we'd had enough seriousness for one night, so I changed the subject. "So, tell me about Jacob. Are you guys close?"

He smiled thinking about his brother and immediately launched into a story about how they'd gotten their car stuck in the mud in high school and were grounded for weeks. His eyes twinkled when he talked about his family, and I hoped I'd get to meet them. Carlisle and Esme were lovely, so I couldn't imagine his brother and sister being anything else.

Once we got back to the hotel, I walked out onto the balcony of our room, letting the crisp breeze cool me. Edward walked up behind me and slid his arms around my waist. I hummed in appreciation of his warm, soft touch.

"Hmm, I could get used to this," I said, letting my head fall back on to his shoulder.

He kissed my neck, taking advantage of the opportunity I'd given him. "You'd better get used to it."

It was odd how quickly Edward could completely change. Earlier at dinner, he'd been almost sad and worried, yet only a few hours later, he was cocky and confident again. I wondered which one was the real Edward, and worried that I didn't already know.

I slipped into the bathroom as we got ready for bed and slid into some sexy lingerie I'd brought. It was just a matching bra and panty set, but it was purple and lacy, and I knew Edward would love it.

I came out of the bathroom and leaned up against the doorjamb. Edward was shirtless and had just finishing folding up his pants as he set them on the back of the chair. He turned and looked at me, and his face changed to a lusty smile. "Wow, babe, you look good enough to eat."

"I thought I'd treat my _boyfriend_ to something special."

He closed the distance between us, letting his arms slide smoothly around me. "Well, he appreciates it. Trust me."

"Do you know what I want?" I whispered in his ear.

"What's that?" He sounded distracted as he peppered my shoulders with kisses and his hands roamed my back.

"I want you to take me over to that bed and fuck me like only you can."

He groaned loudly but didn't waste any time, reaching down to my bottom and picking me up as he walked us both over to the bed. His hands went immediately to my underwear, pulling them slowly down over my hips. "These are pretty, but they have to go."

I reached behind my back to release my bra while he slid off his boxers, leaving him completely naked.

His hand went immediately to my breast and cupped it as he lowered his head and took it into his mouth. "So perfect," he muttered against my skin.

My hands tangled in his hair while he kissed my body. His lips drove me crazy. "I want you inside me." I was feeling desperate for him.

He sat up and moved to grab his toiletry bag from the chair. I had another surprise for him, so I stopped him. "You don't need that."

He looked back at me, his mouth open in surprise. "Why not?"

"I got the Depo shot. I don't want anything between us anymore."

His eyes raised as realization set in, and he returned to me with vigor. "You're amazing."

He reached down between us and positioned himself at my entrance, and then pushing forward into me in one quick move.

"Yes," I hissed, spreading my legs even wider.

"I've never…" He hovered over my body, his eyes fixed on where we were joined, watching as he slid in and out of me. "You're in so much trouble now."

"You like to watch, don't you?" I raised my arms over my head and arched my back, reveling in the feeling of him.

"You're fucking incredible." His voice was strained, and his neck muscles were taut as the intensity of his thrusts increased.

I could see that he was getting closer to his release with each stroke, but I wanted to try something. I put my hand on his chest to get his attention. "Let me be on top?"

He smiled as he pulled out of me and rolled onto his back, gripping his hard cock while I sat up and moved to straddle him. Instead of facing him, I faced away.

"Fuck, Bella," he said with a sharp exhale.

I looked over my shoulder to see his beautiful face. He was eager for me. I reached down, replacing his hand on his cock with mine, positioning him where I wanted him.

I slowly eased onto him, the new angle creating a host of new sensations. He gripped my hips tightly as I began to rock up and down.

"Oh God…that's so good." His voiced was barely above a whisper.

I reached down between us and began to rub myself in time with my thrusts. Edward's grip tightened, and I looked over my shoulder to see his eyes firmly fixed on my ass. He was watching, and it energized me.

My steady rhythm became erratic as I approached my orgasm. Edward's grip got tighter as he guided my movements, grunting each time he was fully inside me. My insides were in knots, craving the release I could feel coming like a freight train.

"I'm so close…oh fuck." I threw my head back as I continued to ride him.

"Yes…oh fuck yes…"

I didn't know who started first, me or him, but we both came within seconds of each other, letting the powerful sensations wash over us. I slowed my movements. He tightened and then loosened his grip. His name rolled from my tongue just as mine rolled from his. We were together in this. Really together.

He pulled me back so I was lying on top of him and then rolled us to the side, spooning behind me. "I know you need more from me, but this scares me."

I looked over my shoulder at him, softening against him. "What scares you?"

"Us. You." He squeezed me tightly.

I rolled over to face him and cupped his face. "I'm not going to hurt you. You can trust me."

He smiled unconvincingly. "No one ever sets out to hurt anyone else. It just happens."

I almost told him I loved him. I wanted to tell him. But now was not the time.

"It won't happen."

"I'm trying, Bella. I swear to God, I'm trying." He was clutching me so tightly. "Can you be patient?"

I kissed him gently and wrapped myself around him. "I'm not going anywhere."

The next day, we did all the touristy things in San Francisco: we rode the cable cars, visited Alcatraz and walked around Ghirardelli Square. It was a perfect day. Edward was light and affectionate. I was starting to understand him better. Whoever this Tanya person was, she certainly had done a number on him.

We had just gotten some gelato and were walking around window shopping in the Marina district when my phone rang. I needed to be available in case there was an emergency at Confidential. I was delighted to see it was my friend Jasper from New York.

I hit send. "Oh my God, I'm so excited to hear from you. How are you doing?"

Edward didn't look too happy but kept hold of my hand as we walked.

"_Bella Swan, it's been too long."_ Jasper's voice was just as I'd remembered it. He and I had been close friends the entire time I was in New York. He worked in one of the sister restaurants in Aro's company, so we crossed paths often professionally as well as socially when I was there. Sadly, we hadn't talked as often as I'd have liked recently

"How are things in the Big Apple?" I held up one finger to Edward to indicate I'd just be a minute.

"_Good. I heard you're kicking ass and taking names out in Napa."_

"I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, things are good. I've even got myself a man out here. Who knew?" Edward's eyes perked up at the mention, and I flashed him a flirty smile.

"_Yeah? What happened to Peter? Things fizzle out?" _

I hadn't thought about Peter much at all, so hearing his name rattled me. "You know how it goes. We were never meant to be."

"_Yeah, I never liked him."_ Jasper's honesty surprised me. He'd never said anything about his feelings about Peter before.

"Anyway, I met my boyfriend Edward a few months after I got here, and the rest as they say, is history."

"_Edward, huh? I'm glad to hear you're happy. What does he do?"_

"He's a winemaker."

"_Well, you're certainly in the right place for that. Anyone I would have heard of?"_

"He and his family, the Cullens, own and run Masenry in St. Helena."

"_Edward Cullen? I knew an Edward Cullen once. A while ago. He was an artist. In fact, didn't you know him? He used to hang around Aro's clan. We were friends for a while. Maybe that was before your time. Anyway, he was married to that gal who used to work at Aro's place in the village. Tanya…yeah…Tanya something. The poor guy used to come around a lot when I first moved out here. God, his wife was a bitch and a half. I always felt bad for the guy. I wonder what happened to him. Anyway, small world. I haven't heard that name in a long time."_

I stopped walking, my mouth hung open. It couldn't be him, could it? Was that why he hated Aro so much? Did he actually know him? Was he really married before?

I rubbed my forehead and turned away from Edward. I couldn't face him at the moment.

"Yeah. Small world. Listen, I really want to catch up, but I gotta go right now." I was reeling. There was no way I could put on a front for Jasper or for Edward, for that matter.

"_Before you hang up, I'm having a 40__th__ birthday party next month, and I'd love it if you'd come. I sent you an email about it. Please say you'll come. It's been too long."_

I shook my head and waved my hand around frantically. "Yeah, yeah. I'd love to come for a visit. I'll check the details when I get home." I really needed to end this call.

"_Good talking with you, Bella. Call me when you know what you're doing. Take care."_

"Bye, Jasper." I clicked the phone off and stood there, my back still facing Edward. Tears were welling up in my eyes, and I took off running toward the water to get away from the crowds on the street.

Edward called my name as he ran after me, no doubt confused about my sudden change in demeanor.

"Bella, stop!" he cried as he finally caught up to me and grabbed me by the arm.

I obliged. I was ready to hear the truth from him. "I just got off the phone with my friend Jasper Whitlock from New York. He and I were buddies back when I lived there. You remember Jasper, right?" I was frantic and panting form exertion.

He backed away and scratched his head, confused at first, but then realization set in. Jasper wasn't exactly a common name, even in a city as big as New York. He lowered his eyes and kicked at the rocks on the sidewalk. "I remember Jasper."

"So, it wasn't just a coincidence that he knew someone with your name, huh?" My voice was biting. I was pissed off at his lies of omission.

"No."

"Tell me about Tanya." I was utterly sick of this shit.

"Bella –"

I pushed on his chest and yelled. "Tell me!"

"She was my wife." He wouldn't look at me. The bastard.

"Your wife. Who worked for Aro. The same Aro I used to work for. So, she was the reason you treated me like shit?"

"It's not that simple."

"It never is with you. The thing is, Edward, I'm the one who's suffering because of your past. I can guarantee Tanya's fine. She's probably living happily ever after. The way you're acting is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. You're hurting me, not Tanya. And I've been through enough hurt for one year."

He tried to move closer. "I never meant to hurt you."

I huffed. "All I wanted was to know you – the real you. I've been patient because I knew you needed time. But we've been together how long now and you've never felt the need to tell me you were married before? That's kind of a big thing, don't you think? I figured she was some ex-girlfriend like all the other bimbos, but never your _wife_. I've dealt with your shitty moods because I assured myself you'd be honest with me when you were ready. But no, you refused to talk about it because it hurt you. Well, guess what? Now I'm the one who's hurt. I hope it was worth it." Tears were streaming down my face, but I didn't care. Nor did I care we were in public, making a spectacle. I felt like the rug had just been pulled out from underneath me.

"I'm trying, Bella. I'm –"

"Trying. What does that even mean? You're not the only one who's been hurt before, you know? Everyone's got something from their past. But, I would never lie to you about something so big."

"I know."

"God, we're back to the cryptic talk. Really?" I swiped at my tears and then stared him in the face. He looked pained. "To think I thought I was in love with you. I don't even know you."

I started to walk away, but he grabbed me and spun me around. "Please don't walk away from me."

"Take me home, Edward."

* * *

**A/N: Well, you knew things couldn't stay the way they were forever. The question is, how will they handle it from here?**

**Pics are on my profile.**

**Thanks to PIC's FanFic Corner for the awesome rec this week! I appreciate it! **

**My team rocked this week, helping me get this out as soon as possible. Thanks to Viola Cornuta and TwiHart, my betas, and ellierk, dana1779, Sunfeathers and scsquared, my pre-readers. **

**Once again, I'll do my best to get the next one up within the week. **


	19. Chapter 19 New York

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**Chapter 19: New York**

Edward followed me back to our hotel, where I packed up all my stuff, carelessly throwing my pretty dress and lingerie into my suitcase. Was it really only the night before that we'd had an amazing night out and then intense, passionate, and tender love making? It seemed like forever ago.

I thought a lot about why I was so upset. It wasn't that I couldn't forgive Edward for not telling me he was married before. I was hurt, but part of me could understand being ashamed of a failed marriage, even if I truly believed he should have said something.

What hit so close to home for me was that it felt as if I didn't really know him, and worse, that I might never know him. Sure, he'd let his guard down some, but it was still firmly in place when he wanted it to be. There was no guarantee he'd ever open up to me, and I had no idea how he felt about me. I couldn't continue to live like that. I didn't know what caused the demise of his marriage, but he was profoundly wounded by it. Would he ever heal? That wasn't something I could control.

For the most part, Edward accepted my request for space and time and didn't try to discuss things further. I should have been relieved to have the quiet time to think, but instead I was just sad and annoyed. He closed himself off like he always did, and part of me resented that trait in him deeply in that moment. His self-preservation was my source of misery.

Needless to say, the drive home was interesting. I was becoming increasingly irritated and I'm sure he could sense it. The tension was almost unbearable. Thank God for satellite radio or the silence between us would have been deafening. I was incredibly disappointed. I worried that this might be the end of our relationship. I didn't want that, but I didn't know what I wanted instead. Even if I didn't really know him, I loved what I did know. I didn't want this strain between us, but I honestly didn't know what else to do.

He pulled into the driveway of my house, put the car in park and just sat there, perhaps waiting for me to say something. Perhaps he was trying to think of something to say himself. His hands gripped the steering wheel, but he said nothing.

"You're leaving me," he finally said, the pain obvious in his voice. "You said you wouldn't leave."

Despite my feelings of betrayal, I loved him, and it hurt me to see him in pain. "You lied to me."

He nodded and pursed his lips. "I know."

I almost reached over and tangled my fingers in his hair. I wanted to comfort him, and I needed that comfort. But I didn't do it. I couldn't. "I just need some time."

He turned to face me in his seat. "I know you don't understand. But it's not something I like to think about. I wanted to forget it ever happened."

"That's not the way life works." I pulled my purse into my lap to give my hands something to do besides reach out and comfort him.

"Bella…please…I didn't mean…" He was mumbling, unable to formulate a coherent response.

"Let's not do this. Honestly, I'm spent. I can't have a serious conversation now. I need to process things in my mind first and calm down."

He nodded and climbed out of the car, gingerly closing the door behind him. This seemed so final, and I was immediately reminded of how quickly things ended with Peter. I didn't want this to be goodbye, but that was how it felt.

Silently, he retrieved my suitcase out of the trunk. It was still tense and awkward. We stood closely facing each other, all the anger, fear, and uncertainty like an ocean separating us. I knew we both wanted the situation to be different but couldn't deny the reality we found ourselves in.

"Can I call you?" He looked at the ground, and my eyes were drawn down to where he shuffled his feet. I couldn't look at his beautiful face and his intense green eyes that always revealed so much. I didn't want to see all the emotions I was feeling reflected back at me.

"Let's just see how it goes." I said, my voice trembling, barely above a whisper. Inside I wanted to scream. Of course, I wanted him to call me. I wanted him to open up to me and tell me he loved me, but he didn't, and I didn't know if he was even capable of it. Not anymore.

He handed me my bag, and I turned and walked toward the door. He leaned up against the hood of his car, shoving his hands in his pockets as he watched me walk up the walkway. He was a fortress once again.

I glanced one last time over my shoulder as I stepped into my house. He was still leaning against the car, not making any attempt to come closer.

"We'll talk soon, okay?" I caught his eyes with mine. His brow furrowed and his lips pursued. He looked so pained and skeptical. I hated that expression. I'd seen it too many times.

"Goodbye, Bella." He pushed off the car and walked around to the driver's side, hesitating only for a moment before he slid inside. His emotions seemed to shift from hurt to angry as he started the car and sped out of my driveway.

I watched him leave, and the moment he was out of sight, tears streamed uncontrollably down my cheeks. Was I over-reacting to his news? Was I being unfair to him?

I flopped down on my bed and let the tears flow. I needed to get it all out. When I finally felt better, I called Rosalie. I needed her voice of reason.

She sounded excited to hear from me. "You're back so soon? I thought you were going to be gone until Tuesday?"

I sobbed into the phone. "Oh, Rosalie…"

Over the next hour, I told her everything – from the call with Jasper to the goodbye in the driveway. She listened intently.

"What are you going to do?" she finally asked.

I sighed. "I don't know. I love him." It was the first time I'd said it out loud to anyone besides my passionate explosion at Edward.

"You love him. I've known that for a while now. The question is: can you trust him?"

"That's the part I'm not sure about. I want to trust him. God, I wish this was all just a big misunderstanding. But there were so many times he could have told me, but he didn't. It makes me wonder what else I don't know. You know?"

"I understand. Take a little time to think it over. Make sure you do what's the best thing for _you_. Don't worry about the rest of it. You need to talk to him. You deserve to know everything and get some answers. But wait until you're ready to face whatever he has to say."

"Thanks, Rose." We hung up, and I felt better, which basically meant I felt human again instead of the numb zombie I had been since I heard the news.

The next several days went by agonizingly slowly. Edward had texted me a few times but, other than that, he'd respected my need for space. He let me know he was going to visit his brother in Las Vegas for a week or so. He hadn't mentioned it before, so I was pretty sure he needed time away to think as much as I did. We hadn't been apart from each other hardly at all since we'd gotten together, and given the events of late, it was probably a good thing to have a little distance. I knew if I saw him for any length of time, I'd sleep with him, and that would give me a false sense of security. The nature of our physical relationship was so strong that I knew I wouldn't be able to think things through if I saw him. I hated that I had no self-control around him, but sadly, it was true.

I missed him terribly when he was gone, but I knew it needed to happen. I needed to forgive him, and that took time. When he got back, I was working every night leading up to my trip to New York for Jasper's birthday. I had taken Jasper's invitation as an opportunity to get away and clear my own head. It didn't leave much time to see Edward, though, as I was trying to get everything set for when I was gone.

I texted Edward to let him know I'd be in New York. He was polite about it and appreciated me telling him, but made no effort to talk me out of it or get me to talk more about us. We were barely speaking, yet I still felt as if we were together. We just needed a little space. When we next saw each other, we both acknowledged it had to be more than meeting for coffee on the fly.

When the plane landed in La Guardia, a strange sense of déjà vu passed through me. I remembered arriving here so many years ago, bright-eyed and eager. So much had happened since then I didn't even feel like the same person.

Jasper picked me up outside the terminal. I smiled when I saw him and forgot all about my problems in that moment. Jasper had always been such a wonderful friend - a genuinely nice guy in a sea of sharks. He always had my back and was like a brother to me. In many ways he kept me sane and grounded in New York.

He swept me up into a hug. "Hey there! You made it. It's so great to see you."

I clung to him, needing my old friend more than I realized. "It's great to see you, too."

I hopped into his car, and we drove back to his place. The party wasn't until the next night, so we had a night with just the two of us to catch up. As much as I loved the food at Aro's restaurants, I had no desire to see any of my old co-workers, so we planned on staying away. I was too different from the way I was when I lived here, and I didn't feel like telling my story over and over again. I just wanted to relax and feel happy for the first time since San Francisco.

"So, tell me about this guy you're seeing," Jasper said over a martini as soon as we sat down in the bar down the block from his house.

I lifted my own martini and rolled my eyes. "It's complicated."

But Jasper wasn't going to let me off the hook. "It's always complicated."

I chuckled nervously. "I think I attract difficult situations."

"It can't be that bad. You look great and don't seem at all depressed." He nudged my arm. "I'm serious. Tell me about him. It sounds like you guys are getting serious."

"I feel like I don't really even know him. But oddly enough, you do. I confirmed it. He's the same Edward you knew years ago."

He set down his glass. "No shit? I always wondered what happened to him."

"He left New York to run his family's winery."

"Huh. And he's obviously not with that bitch-on-wheels anymore."

"No, though I still have no idea what happened with them." I cringed thinking about Edward with anyone else. It was bad enough thinking of him with his revolving door of exotic Barbies. At least I could tell myself they didn't mean anything. No one was getting hurt. But he had been married and was still deeply hurt over it. That wasn't so easily dismissed.

"Well whatever happened, he certainly traded up with you."

I smiled. Jasper always said the nicest things to me. "I don't know about that. You should have seen the girls he was with when I first met him. They looked like they walked off a runway at Fashion Week. Why in the hell he chose me over them, I'll never know."

He rolled his eyes. "You take self-deprecation to a new level. You know you're all that and a bag of chips, so stop cutting yourself down."

"Don't worry about me. I'll get over it and be back to myself soon."

I wished I believed that. I felt as unsure as I'd ever felt – about absolutely everything.

The night progressed, and I got progressively more and more buzzed. It felt good to be drunk. I could forget about the hole in my heart when I was drunk. Kind of.

"Why can't all guys be like you, Jasper?" I rested my head on Jasper's shoulder. There was a time when I'd thought about dating Jasper, but we were never cut out to be more than friends.

"You mean, fuckhot, witty and incredibly sexy?"

God, I'd missed Jasper. He was so refreshing.

I laughed. "Well that. But you know? I'd settle for emotionally available and honest."

He turned to face me. "This doesn't sound hypothetical. Spill."

"He lied to me. Edward lied. He never told me he was married. The first I ever heard about it was from you."

Jasper shrugged. "So."

I was shocked. "So? You don't think that's a big deal?"

"Maybe he's ashamed of it."

"Still, he should have told me."

"Yeah, probably."

I hid my face in my hands. "And God, Jasper, I told him I was falling in love with him."

"You did? When?"

"In San Francisco. Right after you told me about Tanya. We were arguing, and it just came out."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing. He said nothing." I shook my head, accepting the hurt I felt over my words.

He put his hand on top of mine and pulled them away from my face. "Did you mean it when you said you loved him?"

I swirled my martini, suddenly mesmerized by it. Anything to avoid looking at Jasper. "Yes."

"Then why does any of this matter? Does he know about all your past relationships?" He had a smug smile on his face, silently warning me not to lie.

"Well, no, but I was never married. I'd never keep something like that from him."

"Look, I'm not saying the guy was right in keeping this from you. It's a big deal; I know that. I'm just saying it's not worth losing something special over."

"That's the thing, Jasper. When things are great, they're really great. But there are all these times I feel like I hardly know him. He can be so distant. It scares me to think of what else he might be keeping from me."

He laughed. He actually laughed out loud while I was feeling miserable. "Bella, I love you. You know I do. But let me tell you something about guys. We don't think or talk like women do. At all. There are things we just keep to ourselves. We don't do it to hurt the person we're with, it's just the way we are. When I knew Edward, he was a nice guy. I have a hard time believing he's done a complete one-eighty since then."

"Would you have told someone you're dating something that big?"

"Yes. But right away? Maybe, maybe not."

"I know it's not a huge deal. But you didn't see how he was before I got to know him. He was really closed off. I mean _really_ closed off. I'm worried that this may be a sign of how things will go with us, and it freaks me out."

"You guys haven't been together that long. Give him a chance. He'll come around."

"What if he doesn't? Like I told you before, he had a revolving door of beautiful women hanging off his arms when I met him. Who's to say he won't get bored of me and move on, leaving me to pick up the pieces."

Jasper made a face and nodded, formulating a response. "That's a risk you take no matter who you date. But it's worth it. Plus, he chose you. Don't second guess that."

I thought about what Jasper said. I wanted to believe him so badly. I wanted to believe that Edward missed me as much as I missed him. I wanted to believe that if I flew home tonight, he'd be waiting for me, but I couldn't. I'd never felt such an intense connection with anyone, but be hadn't told me how he felt other than 'he was trying.' There needed to be more than just a physical connection. What if he didn't want to try anymore? What if he was never able to love me the way I wanted him to?

The next day, I'd actually made arrangements to swing by Peter's place and pick up a few of my things he hadn't gotten around to sending. I'd asked him several times to ship my stuff to no avail. It obviously wasn't a priority to him, and since I was right here in town, I decided to get it over with. It was just a few things I'd left at his place in a box. Most of it I would have let go, but I wanted my vintage Stones t-shirt. It had been my dad's. I didn't feel animosity towards Peter, but I didn't really want to see him either.

I was nervous as I took the subway to his house. It had been a while since I'd seen him, especially in New York. I was a mess.

I sat outside his apartment for a few minutes before getting up the nerve to ring the doorbell. I was buzzed up immediately and climbed into the elevator. Just as I was about to knock on the door to his apartment, it opened. A very attractive woman with long, red hair stood in front of me, glaring.

I was confused and taken aback. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong floor," I stammered.

"No, you don't. You're looking for Peter?"

"Uh, yeah."

"He's in the shower. But he told me you'd be stopping by. Finally here to get your crap, are you?"

I had no idea who this woman was, but I was starting to get an idea.

"I'm sorry to intrude." I put my hand on my chest. "This is awkward for me as well. I just wanted to make this convenient for everyone involved."

She rolled her eyes, but stood aside, letting me in.

I smiled meekly, feeling as uncomfortable as ever. I looked around the apartment. He'd redone it. It looked softer, less like a bachelor-pad.

"Peter will be out in a second."

The woman walked into the kitchen and picked up a gossip magazine and began reading as if I didn't exist. That was fine by me since she obviously wasn't happy to see or talk to me.

I strolled around the house, looking at various pictures. He'd taken down the ones he had of us, of course, but they'd been replaced with new ones – of her. One picture in particular caught my eye. It was them together in front of the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. _The Christmas Tree_. The most famous Christmas tree in the world that was only up during the month of December.

Funny. He hadn't come to visit until New Year's Day.

I picked up the photo and stared at it. They looked every bit the happy couple. How long had this been going on?

"How long have you guys been together?" It was official – I was glutton for punishment.

She looked up at me with a bored expression. "I don't know. Sometime in the fall. It was after you up and bailed on him, anyway."

Sometime in the fall. Months before we broke up. I felt the hair on my arms stand on end and a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Had every man in my life made it a habit to lie and deceive me?

Peter walked out just then, and I set down the picture. I had no intention of bringing anything up. It wouldn't change anything, and I would probably never see him again after this.

"Bella." His face was cold, business-like. "I see you've met Charlotte."

I pursed my lips and nodded. Charlotte. From his office. I had been a complete fool to be so trusting.

I shook it off and recovered. "I'm sorry to drop in on you, but I really thought this would be easier than having you ship my stuff."

Really, I was worried I'd never get any of my things back. If they hadn't have been somewhat important to me, I'd have never put myself in such an awkward position as standing in his living room with his smug, cheating face and his bitchy girlfriend.

He walked into the den off to the side, and I heard some shuffling. He came out a few minutes later with a medium-sized box and thrust it at me. "I think this should do it."

I clumsily took it and glanced in to make sure it had what I wanted. I just needed to get the hell out of there before I lost it. It wasn't that I missed Peter. I didn't. It wasn't even that he was with Charlotte. It was the blatant deception. It seemed to follow me these days.

I said an awkward goodbye and climbed into the elevator, sighing heavily, thankful to have that painful encounter behind me and to be finally completely free of Peter and any lingering feelings of guilt or regret about hurting him.

I got back to Jasper's place about an hour before the party started. It was a wine tasting party. Since he and most of his friends were in the restaurant business, everyone was bringing something to pair with an assigned wine. Jasper insisted I was off the hook, having traveled across the country to be there. Still, I couldn't stand by and let everyone else have all the fun, so I made a quick shrimp amuse to pair with a crisp Sauvignon Blanc.

As guests started to arrive with their delicacies and fine wine, I thought about how much Edward would like this. He had such a passion for wine and especially liked pairing it with food.

"What's on your mind?" Jasper said, finding me on the balcony deep in thought. I hadn't wanted to make small talk.

I turned and leaned on the railing, facing him. "I miss Edward."

"Have you called him?"

"I can't. It would confuse him. And I don't know what the fuck I want."

He rolled his eyes. "Bullshit. You do too. You want him."

"He lied."

"He moved on."

"He still lied."

"How many perfect relationships have you been in before?" He raised his eyebrows at me in a challenge.

"That's easy. None. They were all shitty."

"Come on. They weren't all bad." He pointed his finger at me. "I've seen you date plenty of people, and they weren't all bad. They might not have been perfect, but you learned from each one. You grew from each one. Just because you haven't told Edward about them doesn't mean you're lying. They're your memories. They've shaped who you are. Without those experiences you wouldn't be the fabulous girl you are now. Edward is entitled to his memories, too. They obviously aren't perfect either. It doesn't mean what you have together can't be."

"There's no such thing as a 'perfect relationship.'" I was feeling pessimistic.

"Of course not. But they can be pretty darn good, and from what you've told me, that's the way it is with Edward."

"Hmmm…men confuse me."

He laughed. "Well, ladies aren't exactly easy to read, either."

"At least most of us can be trusted," I said, making a face. "Men…not so much."

Jasper knew I was only speaking in partial truths, hurt by my recent experience, so he didn't taking my insult personally. "Is this pissy attitude just about Edward? When did you become so cynical? Should I get you a glass of hemlock?"

I looked out at the city skyline. "Peter was dating this lawyer from his office since the fall. Basically, he started seeing her right after I left. He blatantly lied to me – for months."

"Well, I told you I never liked the guy."

"Yeah. I'm starting to see the wisdom in that thinking." I took a sip of my wine and started to get emotional. "You what sucks? I'm like the boyfriend prepper. I date these guys who act like complete jerks to me, and then they become perfect boyfriends to the next girl they meet."

"Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. I can't tell you how many guys I've dated who have gone on to marry the next girl they date."

"Is Peter getting married?" He looked confused.

"Well, not that I know of."

He threw his arm around me. "Who cares about those guys?"

"But why were they so nice to their next girlfriends and not to me? Why is Peter faithful to Charlotte when he wasn't to me?"

He squeezed my shoulder. "If I'd have known you were going to be Debbie Downer at my 40th birthday, I'd have skipped the invitation." He tickled my side to let me know he was joking. "The bottom line is this: You know what you want to do. You need to start with talking to Edward."

I looked up at him, and he nodded. He was right. I did know what I wanted to do. But could I do it? Could I honestly forget it all and move on? That I didn't know.

* * *

**A/N: So how are we doing? Do we need a group hug? Feeling bad for Edward? For Bella? For both of them? Hopefully they'll figure things out!**

**Pics are on my profile.  
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**I was blown away by the reaction to last chapter! Seriously, you guys made me so happy. Thanks for all the great reviews! **

**The best compliment you can give me is to rec this story to your friends. Any author can tell you, the hardest part about writing is getting the word out! As always, if you see my stuff rec'd somewhere, please let me know! I love to know who to thank. **

**Special thanks to my betas, Viola Cornuta and TwiHart, for all the hand holding and help this week. Also, my pre-readers Sunfeathers, Dana1779, ellierk, and scsquared provided some great insight! **

**I've got a couple of recs for you this week! I hope you'll take a peek. And don't forget to tell them I sent you! Links are in my Favorites.  
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**_A Handsome Woman_**** by Viola Cornuta (my awesome beta!) and winterstale – Something totally different and extremely well thought out and written! Won Judges Choice in the Curvaceous and Bodacious contest.**

_**Serendipity**_** by suzie55 – A great read. Totally entertaining.**


	20. Chapter 20 Answers

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 20: Answers**

I'd had a nice time in New York. The only damper on the trip was my encounter with Peter and Charlotte. Even though things between us were long over, his infidelity and untruthfulness hurt, especially given what had happened with Edward. It made me feel as if I had some inherent flaw that made me a likely victim for deceit.

Jasper was the voice of reason. He was such a good friend and probably knew me better than anyone else. He saw how hurt and mixed up I was about Edward and gave me some perspective. I missed Edward with all my being. I hated not being certain about our relationship status. But mostly I hated being unsure of what I wanted and how Edward felt.

Jasper was right; I hadn't told Edward my entire dating history. Obviously a marriage, especially one that had left him so scarred, was a different thing than just dating, but I was convinced I could get past it.

One thing I did know for certain was that things couldn't stay the way they were. I had tried to be patient and understanding, but at some point, my patience and understanding were to my own detriment. I wanted to be there for Edward, but I had needs too, and they were only partially being met. Still, I'd never felt such a pull toward someone before, and I couldn't ignore how he made me feel.

I texted Edward when I got to the airport.

_Getting on plane now. Just wanted you to know I'm coming home. ~B_

My phone chirped back immediately.

_Can I see you? ~E_

_I'll be exhausted. Let's talk tomorrow. ~B_

_There are things that need to be said. ~E_

_I really can't. Big day tomorrow. I promise we'll talk soon. ~B_

While I was encouraged that he seemed anxious to finally talk to me, and hopefully open up to me, I had to be back at Confidential the next day early and then attend an event that night put on by the Mayor's Office.

The timing for the event couldn't have been worse. I would be jet-lagged, and I really needed to stay through the start of the dinner service at the restaurant. But this was one thing I couldn't miss. All the local business owners would be there, and it would look terrible if I didn't support the local politicians. Edward was sending Carlisle and Esme in his place. We'd decided against going together, as our personal issues would just serve as a distraction, and neither of us needed that in such a public arena. We both had businesses to run.

I tried to sleep on the plane, but it was hopeless. I really wanted this limbo with Edward to be over, and I finally felt like I was in a place to deal with it. There was a part of me that wished Edward would have been more aggressive about fixing things before now, but he was just respecting what I'd asked of him. Still, it did nothing to ease my worried mind. I wanted to move past this uncertainty. No matter what my mind was telling me, my heart wanted him and missed him dearly.

It was only about six o'clock when I arrived at the Oakland airport, but I still had a drive ahead of me to get to Napa. I was exhausted, but there was something nagging at me. I hadn't seen Edward in weeks, and as I pulled into town, I was hit with a longing I hadn't expected. I didn't want to wait another minute to see him. I needed to go to him. I needed to start tearing down the walls between us. He seemed ready to put this behind us.

I drove to his house, tentative and on edge. Even though it was unplanned, I hoped he wouldn't mind. He'd invited me earlier, so I thought my intrusion would be okay.

The lights at Edward's house were dim when I walked up, but it seemed as though he was home. I could see the glow coming from the living room and smiled. Things had been so strained between us, and I wanted to make things right again.

I rang the doorbell and shifted nervously between my feet.

The door opened, and I was stunned to see a gorgeous woman with shoulder length, brown hair standing in front of me. She was shorter than me, but not by much. She looked casual, wearing a bright orange top with jeans and bare feet. She smiled warmly at me. "Can I help you?"

I didn't know what to say. She brought out all my insecurities. Everything I had worried about practically since we'd gotten together culminated in that moment. She was beautiful, just as the others had been. Had he even missed me when I was in New York?

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. This was my worst nightmare.

The woman stood there, staring at me, probably wondering why I hadn't spoken. I took a deep breath and decided to face reality. "Is Edward here?" My voice sounded meek instead of confident. I hated that.

The gorgeous woman hung on the door, looking natural and at home. "No, sorry, he's not." She rolled her eyes playfully and continued. "I'm so silly. I forgot to pack my allergy medicine, and I'll puff up like a balloon without it. He went to get me some more." If she wasn't standing in my boyfriend's house, I would have thought she'd be the type I might hang out with – down to earth and friendly.

She really was at home here. And she appeared to be staying the night. I was on the verge of losing it. I had to get out of there.

"Can I tell him you stopped by?" she asked sweetly, making me hate her even more.

I shook my head and looked down, afraid to get even one more glimpse of the woman. He hadn't changed at all. The bastard. I steeled myself and decided to be brave. "Tell him Bella stopped by."

I turned on my heel, my hair flowing over my shoulder dramatically as I left.

"Wait…" I heard her say from behind me, but I kept going. I'd been humiliated enough.

The tears fell like rain from my eyes the entire drive home. There was no scenario I could come up with that made any sense. She was in his house when he wasn't. She obviously knew him well. She was planning on spending the night. He'd never said a word to me about having house guests. He would have told me if someone was coming to visit; we'd talked about our plans. No, that wasn't what this was. He thought he had the night free, so he took advantage of it.

I hardly slept at all. I was too upset. When I got up and turned on my phone, there were several texts from Edward.

_You stopped by? Call me. ~E_

_I wasn't expecting you. Please call. ~E_

_Are you asleep? If not, call me. ~E_

_Is everything okay? ~E_

The last one made me laugh in disbelief. No, everything was not okay.

I wanted to hear his excuse. I wanted to kick him in the shins. I wanted to see him pathetically attempt to make this up to me, but I had no time for any such things. I had to go to work – I hadn't been there in several days – and then later I had that stupid event. I wished there was a way to get out of it. I didn't know if I could be my cheery self.

I couldn't stop thinking about Edward. I was incredibly hurt. Why would he do this to me? I thought about the sad look on his face in San Francisco and his plea for me not to leave him when we got back. Was that all just an act? I didn't want to think so, but I didn't know. Had I pushed too hard too fast for answers from him? Had I been unreasonable in my expectations and driven him away? Was he reverting back to the way he used to be? I had no idea. And that drove me crazy. I had to have some answers.

I pulled out my phone and texted him.

_I have the Mayor's dinner tonight and then I'm supposed to go to the spa with Alice and Rose tomorrow. But we need to talk. Are you available after that? ~B_

_Yes. I want to see you. Call me after your spa day. ~E_

I put the phone away. I didn't know how in the hell I could possibly be good company for Rose and Alice, but they'd gone to a lot of trouble planning a fun day, and in all honesty, I wanted to get their advice. I didn't know what to do anymore.

I spent most of the day at Confidential and threw myself into work. I was happy to have a break from my over-active emotions. I caught up on bills, schedules and orders. This was what I needed to forget about my troubles for a while. I was exhausted from thinking about things too long.

Not wanting to go to the dinner alone, I'd asked Mike Newton, one of my bartenders, to escort me. He was nice enough and would represent Confidential well. He also was a friend and could see I needed a little moral support.

I wore a very pretty grey skirt suit that had a wide black belt and a v-neck. It fit me well, and I definitely looked the part of the consummate professional, even if I didn't feel it.

Mike and I walked into the restaurant where the event was being held. It had been completely rented out for the night by the mayor's office. The tables were set nicely and each seat had a fancy, scripted place card. Ordinarily, I'd have been right in my element, schmoozing and talking, but not tonight. I only wanted to stay long enough to not be considered rude.

I even thought about calling Edward right then and there and seeing if I could come by later tonight. I hated going to bed angry or upset, and there was a part of me that sincerely hoped he would tell me this had all been a big mistake. But I knew that was unlikely. He got scared, so he retreated back to his former ways. I'd almost expected it to happen. We hadn't seen each other in weeks, and obviously my quest for clarity had doused his feelings for me. Perhaps I wasn't worth waiting for as far as he was concerned.

I did a decent enough job representing Confidential at the party. I laughed at the appropriate times and nodded when I was supposed to. I doubted anyone was able to see my inner turmoil but my mind was never off Edward. Was he with her? My imagination ran wild with possibilities. I even had imaginary conversations with him in my mind, practicing every possible response.

I had just finished up talking to Paul Banner, who owned a fabulous winery in town, when I saw him. Or should I say – them. Edward was here with the same brunette I'd seen the night before on his arm. I was seething mad. How could he do this when he knew I was going to be here? Why would he choose tonight, at a public event, to be so callous? Maybe I had been completely wrong about him. Maybe I should have listened to the part of me that told me to guard my heart from him.

I watched them for a few minutes from a discreet place across the room, being true to my detrimentally curious self. He had his hand on the small of her back, happily introducing her to the people they encountered. He looked just as he had all those months ago when I'd seen him with countless dates – poised and perfect. They both looked brilliantly polished and sophisticated, and what hurt more than anything was how proud of her he seemed. I thought back to the warning I'd received from his former fling in the bathroom. Was this what she was warning me about? Was this the Edward she knew who I apparently did not?

I tried to keep my composure as I made my way through the crowds to find Mike. He noticed my distress right away and politely broke away from the person he was talking to.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern, taking my hand and holding it in both of his.

"Edward's here, and I just…I need to go." I didn't want to say or do anything I'd regret in from of all these people. I looked over my shoulder to the last location where I'd seen Edward and his date. She was still at his side, carrying on a conversation with someone. But his eyes were fixed on me. It was the same look I'd seen on his face when I first saw him – he was pissed. Mike noticed too and put his arm over my shoulder.

"I'm sure it's not what you think," he said, comforting me.

"Thanks." I pulled away and chanced a glance at Edward again. It was as if he were looking right through me.

"Mike, can you take me home?" I pleaded.

He put his arm on my back to allow me to walk in front of him. "Yeah, of course."

I looked over my shoulder, and he was as still as a statue with that piercing gaze, just watching me leave.

My phone buzzed when we were in the car. I knew it was him. I pulled it out. Sure enough – Edward.

_You left with him? ~E_

Nice double standard.

_He's an employee. He's just giving me a ride. ~B_

_I don't like it. I should be giving you a ride. ~E_

_I didn't even know you'd be there. ~B_

_So you brought a date? ~E_

_As did you. We'll talk tomorrow. ~B_

_You really don't understand me at all. ~E_

_I think I do. ~B_

_No, you don't understand, but you will tomorrow. Sleep well, B. ~E_

Yeah right. Sleep well.

My house was cold and echoed as I closed the door behind me. I had gotten used to sleeping at Edward's or at least with Edward, and now when I was alone, I felt _really_ alone.

_Get a grip, Bella,_ I thought. This separation, if that's what this was, was my idea. Of course it was brought on by his actions, and I honestly didn't know if I could trust him. I wouldn't let myself get used, but I knew we needed to finally talk. No matter what had happened, I still struggled to think of Edward as that kind of person. But what other conclusion could I draw?

The humiliated part of me wanted to never see him again and just forget about him. But I knew I couldn't do that. I couldn't run from this. I needed answers. I needed to know one way or the other where we were going.

The next morning, I felt as if I'd been hit over the head with a sledgehammer. I was emotionally bereft and physically drained. I padded into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. The clock on the oven said nine forty-five. I'd slept considerably longer than I intended.

With my coffee in hand, I walked back into my room and found my phone. Alice had already left two voicemails for me.

_Get your ass out of bed. We're picking you up at 10:30._

I smiled, thinking of my petite yet powerful friend. I would never want to be on her bad side.

She and Rose pulled up in Rose's convertible promptly at 10:30. It was a crisp spring day that was trying desperately to be warm but not quite succeeding. The cool morning air woke me up as we drove the short distance to the spa. The spas in Napa were among the best I'd been to, so despite my sour mood and looming conversation with Edward later, I was looking forward to the day.

We each had massages and facials planned. I let the masseuse's hands attempt to work away the knots in my body. It felt heavenly. My eyes were so puffy from all the crying I'd done in the last twenty-four hours I was surprised the aesthetician didn't comment on it. She did, however, suggest a rejuvenating mask and a line of anti-aging skincare products, which erased all doubt that I was hiding my emotions.

I met up with Alice and Rosalie in the hot tub. It was located in a beautifully tiled room and was filled with steam. There was tranquil music playing in the background, creating an inviting and soothing ambience. I hadn't been in a hot tub in a while, so I ooh'd and ah'd as I slipped into the warm, bubbly water. Rosalie handed me a tall glass of ice cold water, and I let my head fall back on the edge of the tub.

"So," Alice started. "What's going on? How was New York?"

I lifted my head and smiled, thinking about Jasper. "New York was great. It was good to see Jasper again."

"Any noteworthy stories?" Rosalie seemed interested.

"I saw Peter."

Both Alice and Rosalie gasped and sat up straight. "Shut up," Alice said. "You did not."

I closed my mouth, making an oh-yes-I-did face. "He's got a new girlfriend. Well, she's not actually that new. He was cheating on me all last fall. Nice, huh?"

"He's a douchebag," Alice said, finally leaning back in his chair. "He never appreciated what he had."

"How did Edward feel about it?" Rosalie chimed in. She always did cut to the chase.

"The trip or Peter?"

"Both." Rosalie propped her feet up on the bench in the hot tub, getting comfortable.

I shrugged. "He knew I was going, but we haven't really talked about it. I didn't say anything about Peter. It would have just upset him for no reason. Or hell, maybe he wouldn't have been that upset."

"What do you mean by that?" Alice asked.

I dropped my head back again. I didn't really want to get into it right then, but the cat was out of the bag. "I went over to Edward's house the night I got home. I just wanted to see him. But there was a woman there. She looked awfully cozy. I freaked out and left. And then he brought her as his date to the Mayor's dinner. I wanted to die."

"What? Did you ask him about it?" Rose asked.

"Not yet. We're going to 'talk' tonight."

"Do yourself a favor, Bella," Rose continued.

"What favor?"

"Let him talk." She looked at me intently.

I was slightly offended by her comment. "Of course I'll let him talk."

"I hope so, because if you're anything like me, and I know you are, you'll come into the conversation with the conclusions already drawn. You deserve to have him tell you what the hell he's been thinking."

"I know. I want that, but what if he wants to start up where we left off? I can't settle for being a casual thing; I'm in too deep already. Or what if he's moved on? I'm not sure what's worse."

But she just raised her eyebrows and continued, "Bella, it's time you settled this with him. I know you better than you think, and you'll feel better when you know the truth. Then you can decide what to do. You can trust your heart."

"I think I might be a perfect mark for players," I whined.

Rose rolled her eyes at me. "You are so not a victim. You wouldn't be where you are if you weren't savvy."

"Well, business and food are one thing. My personal life sucks at the moment," I retorted.

"Bella, I know you can handle this. I know you'll be fine. If he's a jerk, you're better off without him. If he wants to pursue a relationship with you, it's obvious you're crazy about him. You can trust yourself, even if you aren't sure about him." She shrugged and sat back. Rose was always so matter of fact. I wanted to take her confidence to heart and see things in more practical terms.

"I know you're right. And either way, I can't stand the limbo."

"That's my girl." She nodded at me. "Just be careful."

I sat back. "Funny, you aren't the first person to say that."

There was silence for a few minutes in the hot tub, only the sound of the swirling jets filled the steamy room.

I thought back to Edward's texts after the party. If he wasn't with a date, he would have denied it. But then, he had said that I didn't understand in his text. What did that mean, exactly?

I just wanted to be happy again. The last time I was really happy was the morning I woke up in his arms in San Francisco. The times I'd felt the happiest in the last year all involved Edward. It wasn't a coincidence. No matter what else transpired between us, he made me happy. But was it the foundation of a solid relationship? I still wasn't sure.

We finished up our spa day with a delicious lunch overlooking vineyards, but I was anxious to get back to Edward. One way or another, this would be over tonight. We would either be moving forward or things would be over.

Rosalie turned into my driveway, and the first thing I saw was Edward's car. Edward was sitting on the front step with his head down and his hands buried in his hair

My heart skipped a beat; it had been way too long since I'd seen him. He looked as gorgeous as always, but seeing him like this unexpectedly totally took my breath away. I hopped out of the car, waving briefly to my friends. They smiled and Rosalie backed out of the driveway.

I was nervous as I approached the walkway to my house. I wanted to run to him but my feet felt like lead as I took each step toward him.

He looked up at me as I walked up, standing up and unfurling his long, graceful limbs. He had a soft smile as he rose up completely and set his broad shoulders. He looked happy to see me, but his expressive eyes were tentative.

He buried his hands in the front pockets of his jeans as he stood nervously in front of me. "Bella."

I couldn't decide if I was still angry or elated to see him, so I just stood there, trembling. It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I wanted to launch myself into his arms but I had to protect myself. He had the capacity to really hurt me, and seeing him with another woman had made me cautious.

"I was going to call you, but then I just had to see you. I didn't want to wait anymore."

I understood the feeling. I wanted answers too, but I was having trouble forming words. "It's okay," my voice croaked out. "I'm glad you're here." I looked up into his eyes and couldn't stop the tears from falling as I looked into his handsome face. I was still worried about what he was going to say, but my fears were melting away as I met his gaze through my tears.

There was a long pause before he continued, and his expression was full of concern. "I'm so sorry. For everything."

"Edward, I –"

"No, let me say this. I need to say this. I tried to keep my distance from you. I really did. I knew I'd only hurt you, but I was so selfish, I couldn't stay away. I just love you so fucking much, and I don't know what the fuck to do about it."

"What…uh…what?" I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I was _not _expecting _that_.

He pulled his hands from his jeans and closed the distance between us, gently cupping my face and wiping the tears that were streaming down my face.

"I love you, Bella. I'm sorry I haven't told you before now."

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**A/N: So how's THAT for an emotional roller coaster? She's been put through the ringer. But how will the rest of the conversation go? **

**Pics are on my profile. **

**Thanks for all the reviews last week. It makes my day to see them in my Inbox! It's funny how different your responses are. Some of you wanted Bella to call Peter out. Others thought she did the right thing by taking the high road. Some of you are mad at Bella and others are mad at Edward. I love it! **

** I'm trying to reply to all the reviews, but FFn is super moody and has added an extra step so it takes me forever. I'll do my best, though. I don't think the next chapter will be up by Friday, but I'm trying like hell to make it happen. I definitely never go longer than a week, so it'll be sometime before then. **

**My betas really had a lot to put up with this week. This chapter was by far the hardest one for me to write in this fic, and maybe in all my fics. It was one of those that I literally hated every word. My betas, Viola Cornuta and TwiHart, got me through my writer's block and really helped. My pre-readers, Sunfeathers, ellierk, Dana1779, and scsquared made me smile with the amazing dialogue and support. Like I've said before, without my team I wouldn't have the courage to post anything! So, thanks! **

**Next up – the talk!**


	21. Chapter 21 Truth

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**Chapter 21: Truth**

He pulled his hands from his jeans and closed the distance between us, gently cupping my face and wiping the tears that were streaming down my face.

"I love you, Bella. I'm sorry I haven't told you before now."

I was so stunned I couldn't say anything for a minute or so. My heart soared, and I was instantly borne to all the times I'd dreamed of hearing him say just that. But I had so many questions. Even though I wanted nothing more than to pull Edward into my arms again and never let go, we really needed to talk, and my front porch wasn't the place to have that discussion.

I pulled back from him and gathered my courage for the conversation we needed. "Let's go inside, Edward."

I pulled back a little and reached in my purse for my keys. My hand was shaking so badly I could hardly get it into the lock. We were both quiet as we walked inside, the weight of what had been said and what was about to transpire looming over both of us. Edward followed, so closely I could feel his breath.

I set down my stuff and walked over to the couch with Edward right behind me.

"I saw you with her," I said softly once we were both seated.

He shook his head and looked down at his lap. "You have so little faith in me. It's not what you think."

I chuckled sarcastically. "Don't play me for a fool."

"She's my sister." His eyes met mine, and a wave of humiliation rolled through me.

His sister?

"Jane?"

He nodded. "She was up in the city for business and stopped by for the night."

I dropped my face and hid it in my hands, the tears coming once again. "I just assumed…I mean, I thought…and you used to go out with so many women…I'm such an idiot."

He pulled my hands away and looked me in the eyes. "What worries me the most is that you think I'd do that to you. Do you really have such a low opinion of me?"

I grabbed his hands and rested them in my lap. I was ashamed of my rash reaction to Jane. "I guess I'm still worried that you're going to wake up one day and realize you made a mistake. You just had so many women around you all the time…and they were so perfect. I didn't know if all you wanted was something casual. I mean, we are great in bed together, but…"

He laughed to himself, but his tension quickly returned. "I'll be the first to admit I had no desire for a relationship. It's been a long time since I've even considered it."

"Then what about all those beautiful women? You were with someone different practically every time I saw you."

He looked away briefly and then back at me, clearly struggling. "Honestly, I wasn't celibate. But I didn't sleep with all of them in spite of how it looked. I'm certainly not perfect either."

"I don't need you to be perfect because I'm crazy about you the way you are. You're everything I didn't even know I was missing. I see how much you care about this place and the people here. I love how you make me feel when we're together. But I don't want to be some fling. I'm in too deep for that."

"When I met you, you made me want more than a casual hookup. You have so much to offer, and I wanted to be more for you. I still do."

"You've never told me that."

He gently rubbed the back of my hands. "It's hard for me to say it."

"I need to hear how you feel."

His body language was so telling. He held himself tight and controlled, still and tense like a statue. His cold hands gently rubbed mine, but there was conflict within him. I could feel it, and the tension hung in the room like a cloud. I was still nervous about pressing him but still had concerns.

He finally spoke in a hushed tone. "You make me feel things I've never felt before. I'm so sorry I made you doubt me. You don't have to worry about me with anyone else. I'm not going to leave you for some pretty yet vacant woman. I'm not going to leave you for anyone."

His voice was full of regret and worry, and I wanted to ease his mind and comfort him. "I'm glad I was wrong. I feel better now that we've talked." I smiled, and he relaxed ever so slightly. Still, we weren't done. "I've had some time to think and get perspective. I want to be with you, but I still have questions."

He nodded for me to continue.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to the dinner or that Jane was visiting? It could have saved us so much worry."

"You were busy, and I understood that, but it seemed as if you were avoiding me. I was worried you'd changed your mind about us. I wanted to see you, and I knew you'd be at the dinner. I had hoped we'd get a chance to step away from the crowd and make some plans for later. It never occurred to me that you'd see Jane and think she was my date. I was too focused on the fact that you and I hadn't really spent any time together recently. I know we had trips and things, but I missed you, and I was worried you didn't miss me as much. And then…well…then you were with that guy from the restaurant, and I got upset."

"Mike's just an employee." I empathized with his jealousy. I was all too familiar with the unsettling emotion.

"I didn't like seeing you with him, friend or not, especially since I hadn't seen you at all."

I smiled at him reassuringly. "I needed the time to straighten things out in my head. I've worried a lot about you and what you want, but I don't want anyone else." He seemed relieved and relaxed, so I kept going, "Why didn't you tell me you were once married? That's a big thing, don't you think?"

"It was wrong not to tell you."

I looked into his sad eyes. "I don't want you to feel like you have to keep things from me. I can't keep wondering how you feel or what's on your mind. I mean, I know you said that stuff outside, but I need more than that. I don't want to feel like this relationship is one-sided."

"You know it's not one-sided."

"You have to talk to me, otherwise, I _don't_ know."

Some of the tension in his face returned. "I've only loved one other person, and she crushed me."

"I'm sorry." It was a pathetically lame thing to say, but I didn't have any other words.

He looked at me intensely and continued. "Believe me; I fought this because I honestly didn't know if I could take being hurt like that again. But you…you're so much more than I ever expected. At first, it scared me because you were this amazing woman, who's so beautiful inside and out, and I didn't feel like I could be what you deserve. I saw how you built Confidential, and how good you are, and I was so impressed. You're totally different than anyone I've been with, and I know it's not enough to say I'm sorry for hurting you, but, Bella, I am."

I was eating up his words. The atmosphere had completely shifted, and the tension seemed to lessen. I hadn't realized until that moment just how badly we'd needed to have this talk. "I feel the same way about you. I'm blown away by you." My voice was soft, but he heard my confession.

"I can't lose you." He sounded so worried.

It had never occurred to me that he was just as worried about me leaving him as I was about him leaving me. We'd both wasted so much time worrying. It killed me that he was thinking about how much I would inevitably hurt him. "I'm not going to hurt you. But, you know, I was surprised by this too. You were the last person I thought I'd fall for."

He dug his hands into the tops of his thighs, flexing his fingers as though stung by my words. "I can't say I blame you for feeling that way. I was hard on you. I know it's frustrating for you that I'm not an open book, but I'm trying. When I went to Las Vegas to visit my brother, we talked a lot about you. I've talked to Jane, too. They helped me see how much my silence was hurting you. I thought you were gone for good, and I was so fucking worried. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. I'll open up more. I'll go to therapy if I have to. I just don't want to hurt you. God, I don't want to hurt you."

"Just talk to me."

He lifted his hand and rubbed my cheek with his thumb while his fingers wove into my hair. I was trembling under his touch. His expression was so intense I could practically feel the love emanating from him.

"I love you." His words made my heart stop momentarily; even though it wasn't the first time I'd heard him say them. They were so heartfelt and sincere. I knew then he'd told me the truth about the other women, and I knew I could trust him. I leaned into his touch, and a woosh of air left my lungs. I'd wanted him to say that to me so badly, and now that he had, I didn't think I'd ever get tired of hearing it. But I needed him to know how I felt as well. "I love you, Edward. So much."

"Thank you. I hoped…but I didn't know."

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing again. I was completely overcome with emotion. He cupped my face in his hands and looked as if he was fighting back tears as he leaned in to kiss me.

His lips brushed mine, and then he deepened the kiss, the passion flowing between us. I wanted to be consumed by his love, so I could put my fears behind me. His other hand joined the first as he cupped my face and tilted it to the angle that suited him. I was putty in his hands.

He stopped the kiss and touched his forehead to mine. "You make me so happy. So incredibly happy."

I reached up and wrapped my hands around his wrists, which were still holding my face. We just stared at each other for a brief moment. No words were necessary. I could see and feel how he felt, and I'd never felt as loved as I did in that moment.

He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, then my nose. It was such a gentle and tender gesture. "There were so many times I almost told you. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how."

I leaned in and kissed him softly. It wasn't rushed or frenzied like before. It was slow and sweet – my way of showing him how much I loved him.

He responded with a whimper as he clutched at my back to bring me closer to him. It felt amazing to be back in his arms, and in a way, it felt like the first time. His walls were down, and I could finally see the man inside, and he loved me as much as I loved him.

He stood and offered me his hand, pulling me into a hug as he whispered in my ear, "Sorry to stop there, but what I have planned can't happen on a couch."

My body felt a rush of excitement thinking about all his plans might entail, and I happily let him lead me to the bedroom.

We faced each other once we got into the room. My heart was beating like crazy even though nothing physical was happening. It was like the room was electrically charged. He reached out with a shaking hand and began to unbutton my shirt. I just watched him as he slowly revealed more and more of my body. His actions were slow and reverent. His fingers grazed my shoulders as he lowered the shirt, letting it fall to the ground.

Then it was my turn. I lifted his shirt with both hands, and once I got it high enough, he raised both arms in submission. This slow undressing continued until we were both naked in front of each other. I'd never felt so exposed and so comfortable at the same time.

He reached out and pulled me against his warm body, letting his hands slide down my back. The evidence of his arousal pressed against me, and my hips naturally sought him out. He began to kiss me slowly, starting at my ear and then dragging his nose along my neck and back up my jaw until he was hovering above my lips. "You're so beautiful."

I sighed, unable to name the feelings that were pouring from my heart. This was love unlike anything I'd ever known.

He turned us both so my back was to the bed and walked me backward until I fell down with him sprawling on top of me. His hand grabbed my ankle, and he leaned over and kissed it. Each subsequent kiss was a little higher up my leg until he had me quivering, eager for him.

By the time he kissed me between my legs, I practically jumped off the bed with the heightened sensitivity. I had never wanted him so badly, and my body instinctively made that fact known as I gave up my moans and whimpers.

He smiled against my skin. "Slowly, Bella, I'm going to take my time."

His words were like honey off his lips, but I was so frantic with desire I couldn't think about anything except my need for him.

I tangled my fingers in his hair and held him tightly, waiting for him to have his way with me. He worshipped me with his tongue and fingers until I was panting and begging for release. When that perfect moment finally did come, I was completely overwhelmed with emotion.

He climbed on top of me, spreading my legs and settling himself between them. It felt so different, yet so familiar.

He pushed into me with a gasp and held still for a moment. His face was firm and intense. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Take your time, baby, we have all night." The words were much easier said now that I'd come. I felt so delighted seeing Edward like this, and I wanted it to last.

He hissed as he pulled out of me almost all the way, his lips kissing my shoulder. In a rush, he pushed back in and began to pulse in a steady pace. My hands were in his hair, encouraging him to look at me as he moved. We didn't say anything, just reveled in the feeling of being together in this way after so long. We both needed this connection.

His thrusts became more powerful, and I could sense his orgasm approaching. As he moved faster, his body touched me in ways that made my orgasm imminent as well. It was raw and open, and we both felt it.

"I'm close, baby," I whimpered as he thrust into me. "So close."

That only seemed to fuel his fire, and he grabbed my ankle. This brought my leg up higher, allowing him to push deeper inside of me, which drove me over the edge. My orgasm ripped through me, and I gripped Edward's back as I came undone in his arms only moments before he came hard inside me.

He collapsed on top of me, and I wrapped my legs around him and caressed his back. This ended as sweetly and lovingly as it began. After a few moments, he pulled back and pushed my hair behind my ears. He looked at me with such love in his eyes, and I felt whole with him - connected.

He rested his forehead on mine and just looked at me. My hands were in his hair, gently massaging his scalp. "I love you so much," I said softly. We embodied those words and what they meant.

He kissed me sweetly. "I love you, too. So much."

We stayed wrapped in each other's arms as long as we could. Neither of us was in a hurry to leave our little bubble.

I went into the bathroom to clean up, and when I came out, Edward was already dressed and out on the patio sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs. I poured us both a glass of wine and joined him.

"Thanks," he said, taking the glass from me. "I could use this about now."

I sat down on the chair next to him, and we clinked our glasses in a toast.

"What are we toasting," he asked with a knowing smile.

"To new beginnings." It was cheesy, but that was how I felt. We'd come so far, and today really felt like it was a chance for us to get back on track – to start our future.

"I like that," he replied as he leaned over and kissed me. "New beginnings."

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**A/N: First of all, let me apologize for the delay in posting this. I've just had surgery on my broken nose, and WOW, is the recovery hard. I'm going to try and stay on track, but I promise it won't be longer than a week again. **

**I was blown away by the responses to the last chapter. I'm so glad you all liked it. I know this one was short, but I didn't want to add a bunch of filler just for the hell of it. I hope you liked this one too. We finally got some answers! Were they what you expected? Leave me a review and let me know what you think of this one. I agonized over each word!**

**I just found out that one of my awesome readers, Cared, nominated Confidential for a Shimmer Award for Best Drama! I'll keep you posted when the voting is open! Thanks for the nom! **

**Thanks so much to my betas who had to edit through my prescription drug-induced stupor. I appreciate the help so much. Also, thanks to my pre-readers who make me smile with your comments! **

**Next up, Bella meets Jane! **


	22. Chapter 22 Jane

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 22: Jane**

I was nervous. I'd been eating Tums like they were M&M's. The last (and only) time Jane had ever seen me was in the middle of my jealous fit. She must have thought me a lunatic. Somehow I was going to have to undo the disastrous first impression I'd made on her.

I tried on several outfits, feeling more like I was going on a first date than meeting my boyfriend's sister. I finally decided on a casual black wrap dress, reasoning that if I was going to be uncomfortable on the inside, I might as well be comfortable on the outside.

Edward assured me Jane understood what had happened, but I still was uneasy about it. Jane was a beloved part of Edward's life, and it was important to me that we got along. It was my first time seeing anyone from Edward's family since our newly minted status.

I was fidgety as I pulled up to Edward's house and obsessively checked my makeup in the visor mirror.

We'd decided on a quiet dinner at Edward's so we could talk and not feel rushed. Thankfully, I was cooking, so at least I had a distraction from my nerves.

I gathered my courage and my things and walked to the front door. I was still so shocked by the recent turn of events with Edward that I constantly felt like the house of cards was going to come crashing down. I felt confident in our relationship, but it was a new, untested confidence.

Edward answered the door and deftly took the two heavy shopping bags from my arms, leaning in and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. I couldn't help but smile; it was the little things he did that swept me off my feet. It was such a far cry from my first impression of him.

He looked perfectly at ease in low slung jeans and a light blue Nat Nast shirt with a black t-shirt underneath that fit him perfectly. His bare feet rounded out the resort casual look, and I shamelessly gawked at his ass as he led me into the house.

I tried to act self-assured as we rounded the corner to the kitchen and family room, but my insides were a mess. Jane was seated on one of the barstools on the outside of the kitchen counter. She was as adorable as I remembered. I was thankful she was dressed about the same as I was, wearing a patterned blue and green halter dress.

_At least we had similar taste in clothes_.

She smiled warmly when she saw me and stood, extending her hand to shake mine.

"Bella," she said sweetly. "It's so nice to finally meet you."

I felt the heat rush to my face as I thought about my misplaced hostility toward her at our previous meeting. I took her hand and tried not to feel overwhelmed. "It's nice to meet you, too."

I wondered what Edward had told her about me. I wondered what she thought of my apparent mania.

I started unpacking the grocery bags as a way to keep my cool, but I didn't think I was fooling anyone, so I just decided to come out with it and get the elephant out of the room.

I turned toward Jane, who had reseated herself at the bar. "I'm so sorry about the way I acted when I met you before. It must have given you a dandy image of a crazy lady," I said, setting a head of lettuce on the counter.

She shook her head and laughed lightly. "I should have told you who I was. I was so tired from traveling, and I just didn't think. I can see how it must have looked. I'm sorry you got upset for no reason."

_Believe me, so am I_, I thought to myself.

I continued, not entirely convinced my apology had been sufficient. "I shouldn't have assumed like that. Anyway, I just wanted to apologize. I'm not very proud of my behavior."

She rounded the counter and pulled me into a hug, which was both shocking and oddly comforting. "I'm the one who should apologize, and please, Bella, don't worry about it anymore."

I smiled, infinitely calmer, and went back to my groceries.

Jane took a sip of her wine and set it back down on the counter with a bit more theatrics than necessary. "You know, as unfortunate as the whole thing was, it was probably a good thing if it got you both talking." She punched Edward lightly on the arm to lighten the mood.

He turned his head and gave her a brotherly stare. "Jane…"

"Relax, Edward, I'm not trying to hassle you." He relaxed his stance as she turned to me. "My stubborn brother was just taking his sweet time. He's been known to keep his feelings to himself."

He looked embarrassed but didn't say anything. I hadn't thought about it like that. It did get us talking, and that was a good thing. My heart beat faster as I thought about our heartfelt confessions. Even though the circumstances were unfortunate, I'd never in my life forget that conversation, and I was grateful for it.

"Would you like some wine?" Edward asked me, obviously changing the subject to something more benign.

"Yes, thanks." An hour earlier, I could have used the entire bottle to calm my nerves, but I was feeling more relaxed and was sure a glass would help take the last of my edginess away.

Edward walked out of the room, presumably heading to the wine cellar, before he turned over his shoulder and said, "White or red?"

I looked at Jane, and she just shrugged, leaving the decision up to me. "Well, we're having Beef Wellington, so how about a red?"

"Red it is." And then he was gone.

And it was just me and Jane. I couldn't decide if I was happy about that, but she seemed really genuine and perhaps she really didn't think I was a total whack job. Edward had obviously talked to her about me.

She walked around and sat on the barstool again. I busied myself with the groceries until she finally spoke. "You know, I've never seen him like this - with anyone - before. Not even…anyway, I'm kinda blown away."

I stopped and looked at her, trying to find any hint of insincerity, but it wasn't there. "You're sweet to say that. Thank you."

"I'm serious. The way he talks about you…" She faded off, but I was clinging to every word.

"What has he told you about me?" My curiosity simply wouldn't cease.

"What do you know about his past?" she asked me abruptly, cutting to the chase.

I stammered a little at her forward question, not really knowing how to respond. "I know he was married before, and that she hurt him pretty badly-"

"Yeah, you could say that," she huffed, unapologetic for interrupting me. "Ruined him is another way to put it."

I leaned against the counter, still not sure what to say.

She continued, "Tanya took everything from him – not just money. She could have had anything she asked for in a divorce proceeding. But she gutted him, and for so long, I honestly didn't know if he'd recover. He'd date people, but it was always fleeting. And I think he purposefully chose women who were uninterested in commitment so he wouldn't have to deal with a real relationship."

I nodded in understanding and smiled wryly. "Yes, I met a few of them as well." I tried to keep my jealousy in check as I spoke.

She shrugged, moving on. "But then you came along, and well, you knocked him off his feet."

I smiled. It made me happy to think I was different from all those women, especially since they'd been such a concern of mine. It also made me wish I knew what he'd said to Jane and when. I envied her open and easy communication with him when mine had been so brutally earned.

"You've made him happy. That's obvious. He seems like he's back to his old self. Like he was before New York." She paused. "It's kind of ironic, don't you think? Since you're from there?"

She got quiet and waited for me to respond, her expression looking much more serious and her demeanor changing to that of a mama bear.

"Yes, but I'm not from there." I tried to keep my voice from sounding defensive. I still wanted to reassure Jane; I was really starting to like her. I didn't think she was being malicious, just protective. "New York was never a good fit for me. I came to Napa to get away from that life."

"Bella, I know I have no right to say this, but please don't hurt him. He's been through a lot, and…well…losing you would kill him."

I bristled at the thought of Edward hurting. We'd inadvertently caused each other so much pain, but we'd come out of it okay. I knew I'd do everything in my power to make sure our relationship was always a priority, and I now believed he would too.

I looked up at Jane to see her eyes pleading with me. "Don't worry," I said, my voice barely audible. "I love him. I won't hurt him."

She seemed pacified by my answer and sat back in her seat. I wanted to ask her about Tanya, but I didn't think it was my place to snoop into Edward's life without his knowledge. My curiosity would have to wait.

Her voice pulled me out of my reverie. "You can trust him, you know. He'd throw himself in front of a bus before he hurt you again."

"I know. It took me a long time to realize it, but I do know that now." I hung my head, thinking about my words. I truly did believe I could trust Edward with all my heart.

"He loves you." Her words made my heart soar.

"I'm not used to hearing that," I confessed. "It still throws me for a loop."

"Sorry if I'm being so blunt. You seem as wonderful as Edward told me, and I trust his judgment. But he has to learn to trust his own judgment again. He knew the truth about Tanya, but he tried to do the right thing…"

Just then, Edward rounded the corner with two bottles of wine in his hands.

I jumped a little, feeling slightly guilty at having been caught talking about him behind his back, but he didn't seem fazed. Maybe he hadn't heard us.

"Couldn't decide, huh?" I asked, playfully, referencing the two bottles in his hands.

"Well, I know how much Jane likes our Syrah, since she'd already opened a bottle, so I was worried we'd run out." His lighthearted jab at his sister lightened the mood, and I relaxed a little.

She carried on as though nothing had happened. Apparently charisma, looks and poker faces ran in the family. I, on the other hand, felt both relieved at the nice things she'd said and concerned for Edward and his skeletons.

The rest of the night allowed me a chance to forget about the conversation with Jane and just be myself. As expected from the way Edward had talked about her, Jane was lovely. She had a very sweet disposition and was quite engaging in conversation. I hoped we'd set the groundwork for a good friendship in the future.

After coffee by the fire, I stood, noticing the lateness of the hour. "We should get going on the aftermath of the dishes if we want to get any sleep tonight."

Edward stood and stretched, and as he did, his shirt rose up, revealing his abs. He smiled when he caught me staring and pulled me into a hug. "Such blatant staring? Tsk, tsk, Bella." He tickled my sides, as I pretended to fight him off. Who was I kidding? I loved being held by him. Jane chuckled as she gathered the dessert plates from the coffee table and walked into the kitchen, giving us our first moment of alone time all evening.

"Stay with me tonight, Bella," Edward said convincingly as he kissed the hollow behind my ear.

"But your sister is here. Won't that be an intrusion?" My voice was shaking as he continued his assault on my neck.

"Intrusion? You say the funniest things. No, it won't be an _intrusion_. Besides, I have some plans for you."

Leave it to Edward to distract me with thoughts of his 'plans.' My mind was very creative, and every scenario I conjured up was amazing. "Okay, I'll stay," I conceded as if I would ever deny him.

He smiled, victorious.

We formed an assembly line of sorts to do the dishes, and laughed as we cleaned. Even though I'd made a fancy meal and we'd enjoyed delicious wine, this was my favorite part of the evening. I got a glimpse into the playful nature of Jane and Edward's relationship. He let his guard down in this setting, and we all enjoyed ourselves in spite of the busy work.

"See you in the morning," Jane said with a yawn as she headed toward her bedroom door. Edward waved and squeezed my hand as we walked into his room and shut the door behind us.

I leaned against the door, feeling brazen and a little drunk. "So tell me about those plans you had?"

He turned and revealed a devilish smirk as he began to unbutton his shirt. "A little anxious, are we now?"

I pushed off the wall and walked as seductively as I could toward him. "Well, I happen to have firsthand knowledge of your skills. You can't fault me for being eager."

I could tell by the look on his face that he enjoyed the playful banter. He stopped in his tracks and turned to fully face me, continuing to slowly unbutton his shirt. He was torturing me on purpose, and the look on his face proved it. Not that I minded – this kind of torture was sweet like honey.

I reached out to help him, but he rebuffed my touch, slowly pulling the shirt from his body, leaving him in only his jeans and undershirt. "So, you like my skills, huh?"

I bit my lip and nodded, dumbfounded by the sight of him in a tight-fitting shirt that revealed just enough of his physique to make my insides tumble in anticipation.

He reached back and grabbed the shirt by the neck, pulling it over his head and throwing it off to the side. The minute he was free of his shirt, his gaze was fixed on me. "You shouldn't have worn a skirt. You've been tempting me all night. That sliver of soft skin on the inside of your thigh."

He licked his lips and advanced toward me, and I slowly retreated until I couldn't go any further, my palms flat against the door. He put his arms on the door on either side of my head and leaned into me.

"Now that you have me trapped, what are you going to do?" I looked into his eyes to see the unmistakable look of lust in them. I was sure mine gave me away as well.

He lowered his hands to cup my face and kissed me, accentuating each move of his lips and pass of his tongue. I was exploding inside, and I wondered how he could cause me to unravel with just a kiss.

His hands left my face and slid down my body, slowly but deliberately. He moaned into my mouth when he cupped my breast. Sadly, he didn't linger too long, and his hand slid lower, over my hip, down to the hem of my dress.

He broke our kiss, and began to kiss his way down my body until he was kneeling in front of me. Even my wildest imagination couldn't have prepared me for just how much I liked the sight of it.

He tilted his gaze up my body, making eye contact as his hands moved up the outside of my thighs, finally gripping my underwear and pulling them down painfully slowly. It was my turn to moan as the feeling of his touch so close to where I wanted it drove me insane.

I stepped out of my underwear, and he threw them aside with a smirk. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long before his hands were on me again, making the ascent back up my legs. This time, there was no barrier between us.

"I like this dress," Edward said as he lifted the flowy material to give him an unobstructed view. "Easy access."

I jumped as I felt his lips, warm and soft, on my inner thigh. His fingers moved higher and higher until they hovered at the junction of my legs and my hips. My legs were shaking in anticipation.

Edward slowly lowered one of his hands behind my knee and lifted it over his shoulder, leaving me fully exposed. "That's better," he muttered, his head partially hidden by my dress.

I didn't have time to think about anything else as he began to kiss and lick me with such intensity my standing leg almost buckled. His fingers gripped my thighs, holding me in place. I tried not to move, but my body wanted more, and I tilted my hips into him.

"You like this?" he asked, hovering in front of me. I could feel his breath on my sensitive skin.

"Oh God yes," I said with a heavy sigh, letting my fingers find his soft hair.

He leaned in again, apparently fueled by my words and began again. The sensation was so strong it was almost overpowering. I wanted to push him away to avoid the intensity, but I didn't – I couldn't.

Just as I thought I might literally explode, his pushed a finger inside of me and began moving it in a steady rhythm that matched what his mouth was doing. My body stiffened, and I thought I might fall, but somehow I stayed up. My fingers on one hand clutched the doorknob, trying desperately to stay still, while the fingers on my other hand tangled in Edward's hair, encouraging him.

My whimpers and moans grew louder and more out of control as my orgasm approached, and Edward took them as a sign to intensify his actions until I exploded in wave after powerful wave.

Once he felt I was stable, Edward lowered my leg and slowly stood, once again capturing me with his arms on the door by my head. He leaned in and kissed me and said, "That's only a small part of my plan."

I walked to the bed, pulling my dress over my head and undoing my bra as I went. I wanted him, and I wasn't going to wait another minute. He followed me, unzipping and lowering his jeans and boxers as he walked the few steps. Apparently, he wanted me too.

Before I knew what hit me, he was on top of me, pushing himself inside. He wasn't gentle, just intensely focused. I never took my eyes off him as he moved within me. It was in that moment that I realized the intensity of our connection. This was what true love felt like, and I had never known anything like it.

When we were done, he held me in his arms until I fell asleep, and I had never felt so cherished.

I awoke to the sound of music coming from the next room. Confused, I looked next to me and sighed when Edward was still there. It must have been Jane.

I slipped into the bathroom and got cleaned up. Edward was still asleep when I came out, so I climbed onto the bed and began to kiss him awake. I'd woken up to his kisses before, and I hoped mine would have the same effect on him as his did on me.

"Wake up, Edward," I cooed in the sweetest voice I could. When that didn't work, I kissed his cheek, then his ear, then his neck. He didn't move, but the smile on his face gave him away.

"Hmmm, this isn't a bad way to wake up," he said with his eyes still closed.

I kissed down his back until I hit a ticklish spot, causing him to twitch and flip me over until I was underneath him again.

I thought he might try to make love again, but he surprised me by sliding off to my side, gently playing with my hair. He rested his head on his elbow, and we talked, naked, in bed. We talked about everything and nothing. We talked about the night before, both the times with his sister and without. We talked about our plans for the upcoming week. It was casual, as if we lived together and this was just a normal part of our day. It felt intimate and comfortable.

I recalled my conversation with Jane, and once again, my curiosity was piqued.

"Will you tell me about Tanya?" I asked nervously. This conversation had been broached several times before to no avail. In fact, I knew it was the one thing that could set him off faster than anything else.

His eyes shifted downward, breaking eye contact. I almost told him to forget it, not wanting to endure his wrath or ruin the moment, but I bit my tongue and waited.

He sighed, and shockingly began speaking in a low, pained voice. "We'd been married about a year when she found out she was pregnant."

My heart skipped a beat - or two. He had a child? I wasn't prepared for any more bombshells.

I somehow managed to keep my inner turmoil in check, and my voice remained calm. "And you didn't want a baby?" I guessed that was the reason for his melancholy tone. I fiddled with the sheet to give my nervous hands an outlet.

He ran his hand through his hair. "It wasn't that. I mean, yeah, I was shocked, but at the same time, I was excited."

I laid my hand flat on his chest and could feel the pounding of his heart. This was monumental for him and had shaped and scarred him in so many ways. I needed to be there for him no matter how much the topic killed me to hear.

"Then what was it?" I asked softly, causing him to finally look me in the eyes.

"It wasn't mine."

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**A/N: First of all, I'm so sorry for the epic fail in getting this posted. This is the first time since I started writing fic that I've had to stray from my regular posting schedule, and I'm just sick about it. Thanks so much for sticking with me. My surgery recovery was much harder than I thought it would be, and RL descended on me with a vengeance. **

**Thanks to my betas and pre-readers, who have been sending me texts and emails wondering if I've fallen off the planet! I appreciate your thoughts and support so much! **

**Please don't forget to leave me a review! I know I've been fail about replying - another thing I swore I'd never do - but I will make every effort to get back on track with that. I swear I've read and loved every one!**

**A bit of exciting news, Confidential has been nominated for a Shimmer Award for best drama. Thanks to Cared for the nomination. Voting starts on the 8th. I've never won anything, and it would make me so unbelievably happy to win, so I could really use your support if you're enjoying the fic. The link is in my profile. **

**Also on my profile are pics for this chapter. Sorry about having to use Kurt Russell, but let's just say that RPatz doesn't exactly dress the way I think this Edward would! **

**I'm going to rec a couple of fics this week. Both are in my Favorites.**

**_A River Between_ by WildRedPoppies – This is a great fic. It's well written and the UST is OFF THE CHARTS! I know it's been rec'd quite a bit lately, but I couldn't resist. **

_**Pure Revelations**_** by georgialion (both of whom happen to be readers of mine!) – This fic has me scratching my head in a very good way. It's one of the first mystery type fics I've read and has some nice UST also. **

**Be sure to tell them I sent you!**


	23. Chapter 23 Tanya

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 23: Tanya**

"It wasn't mine."

I gasped audibly, horrified for Edward. How awful it must have been for him to discover something like that. I needed to tread lightly. "I'm so sorry."

He flopped down onto the pillow, and I worried for a moment he was shutting himself down like he always did, but he just sighed and continued. "We were young, and even though we fought a lot, I really thought she was my dream girl. I thought the problems we had were just what married couples went though. Nothing seemed that bad, at least not to me.

"You know, when we got together, I didn't have much experience with girls. We were really young. Our parents were friends, and we were naturally thrown together a lot. Things progressed, and we decided to attend the same college. It might have seemed as if we were impulsive, but I didn't think there was anyone who could make me as happy. I convinced her to marry me, and we had a tacky ceremony at City Hall. I was happy, though. I wanted it. " He took hold of my hand and nervously played with my fingers. "I had to talk her into moving to New York. I got offered a great internship in an exclusive gallery and couldn't pass it up. It was the kind of opportunity that not only would look good on my _vitae_, it might have led to other things in the field. She was totally against the idea. We hadn't been married that long, and she had no interest in going to a strange city. But she did it for me. So, we packed up our stuff at the end of our junior year of college and made the road trip. It was an adventure - at least that was how I looked at it."

"So she didn't like New York?"

"No, quite the opposite, actually. She loved New York. She got a job working with Aro in the Village, and things were great. At least at first. We worked a lot but played hard too. We immersed ourselves into our new lifestyles, going to museums and exploring the city. I loved my job and was learning new things every day. My internship turned into a paid position. My salary was miniscule, but she was making good money and said she was learning a lot, too. We would talk of owning a gallery of our own, with a restaurant attached—combine what we were learning.

"So, we decided to stay longer than the three months we'd originally planned. We put our schooling on hold for a semester and really decided to make a go of it in New York. But it didn't take long before things changed. She picked up more shifts, and I hardly saw her. She had a new set of friends that didn't include me. I wanted to spend time with her and her friends, but the hours they hung out didn't work for me. I worked during the day at the gallery, and they worked at night. She stayed out a lot partying, even after the restaurants closed, and sometimes all night. But even with all that, I never questioned her. I never thought she'd betray me. Looking back, I can see how blind I really was. My friends hated her, but I just assumed it was because they didn't know her like I did. There were so many little things that, had I been paying attention, I might have picked up on."

I lay down in the crook of his shoulder and crossed my leg over his. He pulled me into him and kept on with his story. "When I found out about the baby, I was worried about how we'd make our lives work, but I began to get excited. In a lot of ways, that baby brought us closer together. She began to get bigger, and we told our parents. It was really happening." His voice began to shake. "She was about five months along, and the baby started kicking. I was amazed with all the changes in her. Then she dropped the bomb."

I sat up partially to look at him. She waited five months? What kind of woman did that?

"What happened? What did she say?" I was aghast that someone could be so heartless, let alone to her own husband.

Edward rolled onto his side and faced me. He ran his arms along my side as he contemplated his thoughts. I could tell by the intensity in his touch how much he needed me in that moment.

"We were shopping for cribs of all things. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. It was hot, and I was complaining about having to go all over the city. We were in the middle of some store when she announced that she couldn't do it any longer. Naturally, I had no idea what she was talking about; I thought she was just uncomfortable, but then she suddenly left the store. I followed her out onto the street and into Central Park. She wouldn't stop and talk to me, and I had no idea why. I finally caught up to her, and she just came out with it."

"What did she say?" I asked incredulously.

"She said that the baby wasn't mine, and that she was sick of living a lie. She wanted a divorce."

"What did you do?" I tried to get Edward to look at me, but he was off in his own world. I couldn't say I blamed him.

He shook his head and looked up as if the ceiling contained the answers. "It was all such a blur. I sat down on a nearby bench, and I remember I could hardly breathe. I heard her words, but I couldn't process them. I'd already grown so attached to the baby…and Tanya was my wife. _My wife!_ She told me she was relieved I knew the truth, and that she could finally be free of the guilt. She shit on me and broke my heart to relieve her own fucking guilt."

I had to comfort Edward somehow. He was so distraught, and it was hard to sit by and do nothing. I snuggled up to him and kissed him on the jaw. "She was stupid to let you go."

He kissed the top of my head and worked his fingers into my hair, gently massaging my scalp. "I lost two people I loved that day. I was in a complete rage. Tanya walked away completely unfazed, leaving me in a pile of dust behind her. I found the nearest bar and drank myself into a stupor. By the time I got home, she was gone. She even took all the baby clothes we'd bought and everything we'd gotten as gifts, including the ones from my family. That was it. Poof."

"That's horrible what she did to you. I don't even know what to say." This time it was me averting his gaze. How does one recover from something like that? How could he ever trust anyone again? I understood him so much more.

"I was a mess. I tried to go to the restaurant to talk to her, but she wouldn't see me. And then, about a week later, she quit, and I had no idea where she was. My parents and her parents were good friends – still are - but she's their daughter, and they protected her and wouldn't tell me anything. I was so alone, and so devastated."

"Why didn't you come home?"

"She filed for divorce, and I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible, so I thought I should stay in state. She blamed me for the breakup, of course. I hired a private investigator because she wouldn't talk to me, and I wanted to know just how badly I'd been deceived. Turns out she had been screwing around almost the entire ten months we lived there – the majority of our marriage. She lied to me every day.

"My lawyer thought I should try and go after her because of her infidelity, but I couldn't do it. I felt responsible for her. Each time we met, I still saw the woman I married, and no matter how mad or hurt I was, I couldn't hurt the baby I had dreamed about in the abstract. Over the course of the following months, we finalized our divorce while she prepared for the baby's arrival. I was so torn because I wanted to be a part of the baby's life, but I knew it wasn't mine, and I knew Tanya no longer wanted me in her life."

"Did you ever find out who the father was? God, this is just so traumatic!"

"It was Aro's." He chuckled, probably to cover up his vitriol.

The breath left my chest in a whoosh. "The baby was Aro's?" My voice was barely above a whisper and strained. I was having a hard time holding myself together because I felt so bad. Finally I realized what Aro represented to him.

Edward nodded slowly, letting me process this horrific news. I had never heard Aro talk about any children of his. I'd never heard him mention anyone named Tanya. Of course, I wasn't close with him on a personal level, but I felt as if I should have heard _something_. I mean, I worked with him for years.

"I had no idea he even had kids." My jaw was still dropped in shock. No wonder Edward hated him. No wonder Edward hated everything that had to do with him.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I don't think it was in his plan. Now he just sends her money each month to support the baby and, of course, extra to keep her happy and quiet. It's been a shitty situation, and he's such an uncaring asshole."

"Do you know where Tanya is now?"

"Oh yeah. She came back crying when the baby was about a year old; right after the divorce was final. She brought the little girl over to my house and thrust her into my arms as if she were mine. She tried everything to make me change my mind, including saying what a mistake she made, and how sorry she was, but I wanted nothing to do with any of it. It was too late for that. I felt a little guilty because I realized the baby was innocent in of all this, but I didn't want to confuse things. She was part of Tanya's family and their responsibility. Tanya still calls every now and then. She's back in California and apparently works as a paralegal in Los Angeles. And of course, our parents talk. Her parents tell my parents that she regrets what happened between us, but it doesn't matter anymore."

The heat rose to my face. Just the thought of that bitch anywhere near him made my blood boil. What kind of woman would treat someone that way?

"Your parents are friends? That's got to be awkward." I held it together.

_Does that mean I'll be seeing them around?_ I thought selfishly. I wasn't sure I could separate her actions from theirs, and I wondered how the Cullens had been able to maintain that friendship under the circumstances.

"It is awkward. But they've been friends since they were young. I don't hold them responsible for Tanya's behavior, but that doesn't mean I want to be friends either. They came over last Christmas Eve, which is why I didn't want to go to my parents' house and instead spent the night with you, which, I might add, was considerably more fun." He kissed my shoulder.

A scary thought entered my mind, and I could feel the tears forming. "Do you still love her? Is that why you avoid her parents?"

Edward touched my chin and lifted it so I could meet his eyes. "No, that was a long time ago. But what she did to me has obviously stuck, and the last thing I want to do is hear about her. She's not a part of my life, and she _never_ will be."

"It's intimidating knowing you were married before."

"I don't want you to feel that way. We all have a past. Mine's just a little more fucked up than most. But what's important to me is the future. I was so blown away by you - I still am - and God, I wanted to hate you for your association with that asshole. But I couldn't. You drew me in, and now I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

"I like the sound of that." And I really did. But I couldn't stop my mind from racing.

We sat there for a moment while I tried to get past my jealousy and hatred for a woman I'd never met.

Edward gave me a little shake. "You okay? You got quiet? I'm sorry if what I told you upset you. That was why I didn't –"

I put my finger over his lips. "Shh…I'm fine. I just can't believe she did that to you. I understand why it must have been hard for you to like and trust me."

He pulled me on top of him and let his hands gently caress my back. His face reflected the intensity of the topic, but his hands and his touch were sweet and light. He looked so pained, yet so beautiful. I reached up and slid my thumb across his cheek as he leaned into my touch.

"I'm sorry I doubted you in the beginning. But I hope you can see why. You know I trust you, don't you?" he implored.

I leaned down and kissed him. The kiss was slow and deliberate. It was not about passion but acceptance. I rested my forehead against his and sighed. "I do know that. And I want you to know I'd never do anything like that to you. Never."

"I know you aren't her. You are … everything. I love you so much. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. I think about what happened with Tanya, and I get paralyzed with fear that I somehow contributed to her infidelity and that I might do the same with you. I don't want to fail you." He held me tightly, and I knew he was scared to let me go.

"I love you, Edward. That will never change. I'm not going anywhere."

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**A/N So? What did you think? Now we know the whole story! Edward makes a little more sense now, doesn't he?**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it was short, but I wanted this to be stand alone, and I didn't want to have filler just for the sake of it. Next up, they move forward. **

**Thanks to my betas, Viola Cornuta and TwiHart, who had to review multiple versions of this chapter. Also, thanks to my pre-readers: Sunfeathers, elleirk, dana1779, and scsquared. You all make this fun. **

**I'm trying like hell to keep up a regular posting schedule (this was only a few days off, right?) I promise, I'm working on it! On that note, I didn't reply to reviews this week because I had so little time to write that I thought you'd want the chapter instead of a reply! But please know that I LOVE getting your reviews, and I read each one (sometimes more than once!)**

**Confidential is up for a Shimmer Award, and I'd love your support! The link is in my profile! Please help a sister out! **

**No pictures this week. Sorry! **

**Until next week…*muah* **


	24. Chapter 24 The Denalis

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 24: The Denalis **

I was supposed to be focusing on work, but all I could think about was my conversation with Edward this morning. It was unfathomable to me that Tanya could have betrayed him the way she did.

As our earlier conversation continued, Edward owned up to his part in the destruction of their marriage. He said the last time they spoke that she admitted she had felt trapped into getting married and moving to New York. She felt as if she was giving up her dreams to pursue his. He never realized she felt that way.

In a way, I understood how easy it is to hurt the ones closest to us, but still, her actions were inexcusable. No matter how unhappy she was in their marriage, she could have – and should have – been honest with him. For his part, Edward took responsibility and that was why he had been so reserved with me up until now. He didn't want to make the same mistakes again.

As much as I felt horrible about what Edward had been through, if it weren't for that lying bitch, I wouldn't have been with him. It's funny how life works.

Rosalie and Alice pulled me from my thoughts to discuss the dinner specials for the evening. We were booked solid for the night, so good preparation was key. The Cullens, including Jane and Edward, were coming in to the restaurant as well, and I wanted to make a good impression.

I decided to make an _amuse bouche_ for the Cullens to whet their palate and pull out all the stops. These were people who I hoped would be in my life for a long time to come, and this was my first time cooking for them. I wanted to prove myself worthy of their son.

The result was a potato and blue cheese soup shot with garlic butter rye toast. It would be served in a traditional shot glass with a chive garnish and the toast resting on top. I tried one, and I had to admit they were quite tasty.

I chose my dinner specials carefully, finally selecting a braised short rib in a cabernet sauce and a pan-roasted sea bass, both specialties of mine. The ribs were rich and delicious, served with a parsnip puree over the cabernet sauce. On the lighter side, the pan-roasted sea bass was seasoned lightly and served over couscous. It was one of my best sellers, and a dish I felt very confident in. I'd let the Cullens choose their wine, of course, but I did put aside a very special bottle of champagne to open when they arrived.

By the time I saw Edward in the lobby with his family, I was in the midst of the full dinner rush. I kissed him on the cheek and said a quick hello and was off to the kitchen. I did manage to take a few minutes to open the bottle of champagne at their table and serve the _amuse bouche_ so I could talk for a moment.

"Can you sit for a minute?" Edward asked with pleading eyes as he tugged on my chef coat.

I put my hand on his shoulder and glanced around the restaurant. "Not this second, but it should start to slow down in about thirty minutes. Maybe for some coffee and dessert?"

Esme smiled up at me and gave a quasi-fierce look at Edward. "She's working, Edward. You shouldn't interrupt genius at work."

I shrugged and blushed at Esme's flattering comment. "Well, I don't know about genius, but seriously, if I don't get back to the kitchen, you'll all be eating burnt dinners. There's no genius in that."

The family laughed lightly. Edward reluctantly let me go, but only after promises of molten chocolate cakes and cappuccino.

I was exhausted by the time I brought out the desserts for the Cullens. It had been an incredibly busy night, and the wear was evident on my face as I slumped down into the chair. Noticing how tired I was, Edward poured me a cup of coffee and whispered in my ear. "You were amazing tonight."

I sighed. He was so sweet.

I had just taken my first sip of delicious hot liquid when I heard a sweet, angelic voice from behind me. "Esme? I thought that was you."

I turned my head and saw a couple approaching the table. I thought I recognized them, but I couldn't place them. They looked about the Cullens' age. Both were extremely attractive and well put together. Edward stiffened beside me, and the hand that was previously resting on my thigh was now gripping it for dear life. He was looking straight ahead even as the rest of us were watching the couple approach, well, except Jane. Jane stared directly at her brother, and I wished I knew what her look meant.

"Irina, Eleazar, how are you?" Esme said sweetly, pulling me from my behavior analysis.

Irina. Eleazar. Suddenly I remembered having met them, and I instantly tensed. Irina and Eleazar Denali. Tanya's parents.

"We're good. How funny to run into you. I've been meaning to call you about getting together, but you know how it is. We had the benefit last week, and then Eleazar was sick the week before that."

Esme waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, don't worry about it. We all get busy. I hope you're feeling better, Eli."

I reached down and put my hand on Edward's to calm him down. He still had not made eye contact with the couple, nor had his tense demeanor softened. He looked at me and offered a stiff smile, finally relaxing his grip on my thigh. This was the withdrawn man I met in the fall, not the happy dinner table companion of ten minutes ago.

Esme chimed in again. "You both remember Bella Swan. You met at the Love Conquers All Gala. She's the owner and Executive Chef here, and she's also Edward's girlfriend."

The woman, Irina, had a surprised smile on her face as she first looked at me, and then at Edward.

I stood and held out my hand. "It's nice to see you again," I said as I shook her hand and sat again. Eleazar offered a casual wave in lieu of a handshake.

"Likewise." She had a pleasant smile and a warm, inviting aura about her, very much like my first impression of Esme. Irina put her hand on Edward's shoulder, and he finally looked up and made eye contact. "I'm glad you have someone special in your life."

"Thanks, Irina. I appreciate that."

"You know, Bella…" Irina looked at me and smiled "…we come here all the time. You've really done a fantastic job here."

I swelled with pride. Hearing testimonials from my customers made all the hard work worthwhile. "Thank you so much. Next time you come in, let me know. I make it a point to take special care of our return guests—we're so lucky to have them."

"We will do that. We're huge fans." They both had beaming, sincere smiles.

"Well, I have a great team, and they keep this place running like clockwork."

Edward chimed in, "She's being modest. Everything that comes out of this place has Bella's signature on it. This is all her. She doesn't give herself enough credit." He put his arm around me and squeezed. Hearing him compliment me with such pride in his voice and in his eyes filled me with such happiness. I wanted to be someone he was proud to be with.

Irina looked at Edward with a look that could only be described as maternal. "Well, we're lucky to have her here in Napa, aren't we?"

They stayed and chatted for a few minutes. Edward grew more and more relaxed and joined in the flowing conversation. I knew seeing them made him nervous, so it was nice to see him loosen up and enjoy himself.

"Won't you join us for coffee and desserts? Bella's made some excellent cakes," Esme offered, pointing to the wide selection of desserts in the middle of the table.

"Oh no, we don't want to bother you. I just wanted to say hello."

The two women went back and forth, arguing over whether they should sit or not, and after several rounds, the couple insisted that they leave. It was endearing how their conversation went, and I could tell the two women had been friends for a long time.

"We've known the Denalis for years. We went to college together," Esme said as she set down her coffee cup.

I looked at Edward, and then at Jane, who gave me a faint yet noticeable nod. My face grew hot as I was once again reminded of how awful it must have been for Edward to be nice to Tanya's parents after what she'd done to him.

I put my hand on Edward's thigh and leaned in to him, giving him the support I thought he needed. He pulled me closer to him and gently rubbed the outside of my shoulder.

We would get through this – together.

I looked at Esme again. "I can tell you guys are close friends." I didn't know what else to say.

A few minutes later, Esme stood and excused herself to the restroom. I had to go as well, so I went with her.

As we were both fixing our makeup in the mirror, Irina emerged from the stall. "Well, we meet again."

"I wish you would have joined us," Esme said, starting up the conversation that already happened once before at our table.

"I would have, but I know Edward is still upset by us, and I didn't want that. He seemed to be enjoying himself."

Esme reached out and touched her friend's arm in comfort. "It's not you he's upset with. Besides, that's all in the past. He has Bella now, and he's happy."

Irina looked at me with such warmth in her eyes that I felt as if I'd known her for years instead of minutes. "He seems to have found happiness. When everything happened with Tanya, Eleazar and I were just devastated. We've known Edward his whole life, and I love him like a son. I never wanted to see him hurt."

Esme's expression held such compassion, and it occurred to me that both sets of parents lost a child in Edward and Tanya's separation.

Irina continued talking to me. "You know, I've never seen him look at a woman the way he looks at you. I always wanted Edward for my Tanya, but seeing you together makes me happy. You're good together."

I realized in that moment just how hard this must have been for the Denalis and the Cullens. They were good friends who were put in the middle of such an awful situation. I really empathized with them. Irina seemed like such a sweet woman – nothing like her daughter. For her to say something like that to me must have been hard for her, but I appreciated it so much. She obviously cared for Edward.

"Thank you, Irina. I love Edward. And I'm glad I make him happy because he's wonderful."

I looked at Esme, who looked as if she was about to cry. It occurred to me that she had never heard me say I loved him. I wasn't sure how much she and Edward talked about our relationship, but I could tell my words had a profound effect on her.

The two women said their goodbyes, and Esme and I started our walk back to the table.

"He loves you, too, you know. What Irina said is absolutely correct – he's never looked at anyone the way he looks at you."

"I know he loves me. It's funny, Jane said the same thing about how he looks at me. Your family is so wonderfully close - and perceptive!"

She nodded. "Yes, we are. He's been through so much, but now he can just be himself. We owe that all to you. You gave me my son back."

I didn't know what to say. I'd seen the broken man he was before, behind a facade at all times, and I was happy to see the man he was becoming.

I slid into my seat next to Edward, and he put his arm around me again. I felt safe in his arms. But as I chanced a look around the restaurant, I realized there was still a lot of work to be done to close up for the night. I groaned, not wanting to leave the comfort of Edward's arms and the pleasant company of his family.

"I should get back to work if I ever want to get home tonight." I looked at Esme. "Thank you for coming in. I hope you enjoyed everything."

Both Carlisle and Esme gushed over how good everything was and thanked me profusely. I was glad. It meant a lot to me that they had a nice time.

I stood to leave and Edward stood as well. "Let me walk with you for a minute."

I smiled. It wasn't a tough sell on his part. I'd let him walk me anywhere.

As we approached the kitchen, he pulled me off to the side and reached into his pocket. Confused, I watched him fumble around until he finally pulled his hand free, holding a single key.

"This is the key to my house. I want you to have it." He placed the key in my hand.

I was shocked. "Oh, okay." I clutched the key, my hands suddenly sweating.

He leaned in closer to me. "I want you to come home to me – no matter what time it is."

Could he be any sweeter?

I slid the key into my pocket with one hand as I grabbed his hand with the other. "I'll come over when I get done here. I promise."

A warm smile graced his face, and he kissed me gently on the cheek, whispering, "My bed is lonely without you."

We said a quick goodbye, and I went back into the kitchen. I pulled the key from my pocket and stared at it. I knew he was giving me more than just a convenient way into his house.

"What's that?" Rosalie asked as she came around the corner and noticed me spacing out.

I held up the key. "It's the key to Edward's house. He just gave it to me."

Rosalie raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Ah, the key. Big step. Next thing you know, you'll have drawers over there."

I mentally panicked, but I had no idea why. The thought of living with Edward was incredible. But that wasn't what was happening, was it?

I finally locked the doors to Confidential at about 1:00 in the morning. I turned Edward's key over and over in my pocket as I walked to my car. I felt a little weird going over to his house when he was asleep, but he'd asked me to do that, so I couldn't say no. I didn't want to say no. I just didn't know what to make of it.

His house was dark and still, only a dim hall light left on, casting shadows across the room. The sound of the door shutting echoed in the cavernous space, and I tried to be as quiet as I could as I crept through the house to his room. His room was dark and smelled of Edward when I walked in. I couldn't help the smile on my face as I saw his sleeping form. He was naked and sprawled out on his stomach, with one leg outside the covers, dangling off the end of the bed. He looked peaceful.

I felt grimy from my work in the kitchen, so I snuck into the bathroom to take a quick rinse before bed. The warm water soothed me, and the smell of Edward's soap reminded me of him. Feeling refreshed, I walked into his bedroom, carefully turning off the light. I shed my towel and slid naked into bed next to Edward.

I had only been in bed for a minute when I felt Edward's arm wrap around me, and he pulled me into his body.

"Hmm…naked in my bed…" I could feel him smile against my skin as he kissed the back of my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," I said shakily, as it was hard to concentrate with his body moving against mine.

"Do I seem upset?" he said, in between kisses. His hips pressed against me, and I could feel him hard against my back.

He rolled me over and pulled me on top of him. My hands wove into his hair as his gripped my ass. I chuckled. "I guess you're not upset then?"

He pulled my hips into his body and ground into me. "Upset is not the word I'd use, although _up_ might be..."

I giggled again and leaned down to kiss him. The kiss quickly grew passionate, and we were soon a tangle web of limbs, trying desperately to get close enough.

He rolled us over again so he was on top and reached down between us to align himself with me. He pushed into me, and we both gasped. It had been such an emotional day, and I hadn't realized until that moment just how much I needed this connection with Edward. I needed to feel bonded to him, and apparently, he needed me just as much.

I let him take the lead, and he set the pace achingly slow, as if he was committing each second to memory. I felt the slow burn build as I clung to him, needing him deeper.

"I want to watch you come," he said in broken pants. "It's my favorite thing in the world." He thrust powerfully into me.

All I could do was moan as he increased the intensity of his movements, bringing me closer to release. I wondered if he enjoyed watching me come as much I enjoyed it when he did.

I let go of everything I was holding inside and just reveled in his touch. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, my orgasm ripped through me, leaving me panting and grasping at Edward's back. He smiled, satisfied with his efforts before he started to move again in earnest. His face was so serious, concentrating on what he was doing. In two powerful thrusts, he exploded inside me and fell on top of me. I could feel his heart beating and his labored breath as he recovered. He kissed my shoulder and sighed softly for several minutes until he was able to speak.

"Don't ever leave," he pleaded.

I put my hands on his face and lifted it so I could look him in the eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, Edward. You know that."

"No, that's not what I meant."

I was confused. "Then what?"

"I mean, don't leave here. I want you in my bed every night."

I rubbed his cheek with my thumbs. "I'm over here all the time. I love staying at your house."

"That's just it. It's _my_ house. But I don't want that. I want it to be _our_ house."

"What are you saying?" I needed it spelled out for me, because my post-orgasmic brain couldn't process what was happening.

"Move in with me, Bella."

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**A/N So, big step for these guys, huh? What do you think Bella's reaction will be? **

**Thanks so much for sticking with me. I feel sick about not responding to reviews, but I figured you guys would want the chapter over review replies. I love your reviews, though. I read them all! If things slow down for me, I'll reply more. Promise! **

**Voting is still open for the Shimmer Awards and Confidential was nominated for Best Drama. I could really use your support. The link is in my profile. **

**Pics for this chapter are on my profile! **

**Thanks to my betas, TwiHart and Viola Cornuta, for all the help this week. Also, to scsquared for helping me with the plot. If you like the scene at Confidential, it's because of her. It was her idea! Love to my pre-readers, sunfeathers, ellierk and dana1779 too! **

**Thanks for making this fun for me! Love you guys!**


	25. Chapter 25 Decisions

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 25: Decisions**

"Move in with me, Bella."

At first I thought I hadn't heard him correctly. I mean, I knew things between us had gotten a lot better and had been progressing quickly, but I hadn't expected him to do a one hundred eighty degree turnaround in such a short period of time. This was the man who could barely utter my name without grimacing less than a year before. Still, when I looked into his eyes, I could see the sincerity. I could see the love I felt for him reflected back at me in his eyes.

My pause and shock made Edward wince, but he waited calmly for my answer.

I was still reeling from his offer. There were so many considerations, not the least of which was what moving in with him would mean for our relationship. I had always felt that living with someone was a prelude to marriage, but we'd never even had that conversation. I had no idea what Edward's thoughts on marriage were, but I suspected he would be a little gun shy given his past, which was understandable.

I lay on my side, propped up by my elbow and put my hand on his chest. It wasn't the confirmation he wanted, but it was all I could give, and I hoped it was enough.

"Edward, please don't be upset, but I'm just…I don't know…surprised. I didn't know you wanted this…you know, after Tanya."

His hand moved from his eyes to his hair, but his eyes remained closed. "I want to be the man you need and deserve, but sometimes I'm still freaked the fuck out. But I know I want you with me all the time. I don't want to worry about when we can find time to be together. Plus, you're practically living here already."

It was an interesting choice of words, and it didn't escape my notice. "So, when you asked me to move in with you, you're sure it's what you really want? It wasn't just some post-coital outburst?" I tried to keep my voice light and even because I didn't want Edward to know how affected I was by the potential that he'd blurted out his offer and subsequently regretted it.

He ran his hand down my arm, causing me to shiver. "It's 100% what I want. I know my timing is crap, and that I should never bring up something that serious while we're in bed together, but I didn't want to wait. I've been thinking about asking you for a while, but I never got up the nerve. I was afraid you'd say no."

His words made me happy, but they also confused me. "So then what's got you freaked out?"

I could actually understand because I was just as freaked out as he was – for a number of reasons. I just wanted to hear it from his mouth.

"The fact that I asked you at all freaks me out. I honestly didn't know if I'd ever get to this point again, and to hear the words roll out of my mouth as if I were asking you how you took your morning coffee is unsettling. Unsettling, but good. Very good."

It wasn't the ideal time or place to be having this conversation, but we were alone and his walls were down, and I knew enough to not take the moment for granted.

"Edward, I'm not old fashioned by any means, but moving in together is a big step. I have a lot of considerations. I mean, I've got my house and a mortgage, and there are logistical issues, practical decisions –"

"You're saying no, aren't you? Fuck." He groaned and fell back with his head into his pillow, his jaw clenched and shut his eyes tightly. I saw a hint of the man I'd met all those months ago – closed off and cold. His defenses were up in full.

I grabbed his wrist and pried his hand away from his face. "Hey, don't shut me out like that." I ran my thumb along his forehead and down his face and felt his muscles relax under my touch. "I'm not saying no, but I want to make sure we're on the same page. I don't want to move in with you and make life changes if you don't see us the same way I do."

He softened a little and reached up to brush a strand of hair over my shoulder. "How do you see us?"

"I don't see my life without you, but we're still new. If I do this, I want to know that we're moving toward marriage and not just because it's more convenient. I don't expect that right away at all, but I'm not the type of person who can live with someone indefinitely. Can you see yourself getting married again? After all that you've been through, is that what you want?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I can barely get my head around being in love again. Marriage is…I don't know if I can say when I'd be willing to go there again. I just know that I want you with me. Is that enough?"

Was it enough? We hadn't been together that long, but moving in together was a big step too, and if he wasn't ready for marriage, or if he didn't see us going down that path, was he really ready to have me around all the time?

"Can you give me some time to think about it? I'm not saying no, but I just need to think things through."

He pulled me on top of him and rubbed his hands softly up and down my back, instantly making my body melt into him. "I want you to live here, but I want you to be sure."

I crossed my arms on his chest and rested my chin on them as I gazed lovingly at Edward. He was hurting because he feared my rejection, but he was willing to give me time. I loved him even more for it.

"I love you so much." I pressed my lips to his, and he moaned softly into my mouth. It was so easy to kiss him and forget about everything else. It was my respite from my overactive brain.

I didn't remember falling asleep. I just remembered being in his arms, feeling safe and loved.

The next morning, Edward didn't say anything about the significant conversation we'd had the night before. Not only was his house key a fixture on my keychain, but he was hoping it would become the key to _my_ house. I felt the air thick around us, yet we went through the motions of drinking coffee and making toast as if it were any other day.

I called Rosalie on my way home, not wanting to wait another minute to get her thoughts. She always gave me such good advice, and I sorely needed it right then.

"Bella, you do realize it's not even nine o'clock yet, don't you?" Rosalie's gruff voice gave away the fact that she was sound asleep.

"I'm so sorry to wake you up, but I'm having a crisis. Can you and Em do lunch?"

I heard rustling and then her muffled voice. "Can we do lunch with Bella?"

I smiled thinking of my friends who had been virtually inseparable since I'd introduced them. I'd never seen two people take to each other so quickly and so intensely.

There was more rustling and Rosalie finally came back on the line. "Yeah, we can meet you. Let's go to that new place that just opened up in Calistoga? The one with the cute little balcony?"

I knew the place; Rosalie and I had stalked it out earlier that month. Understanding the competition was vital in my business. "I'll call Alice. Say 12:30?"

I opened the door to my house and walked inside. It was quiet and a little stuffy from being closed up for the entire day and night with no fresh air. Still, it was home, and that comforted me.

I had loved living alone, especially after everything had gone down with Peter. I needed the challenge to regain my much damaged sense of independence. Today, I felt conflicted. Did I really have a home where Edward wasn't?

I pushed that thought aside, knowing I'd have plenty of time at my lunch to be bombarded with emotions and philosophical questions. Instead, I slipped off my shoes and clothes and hopped into the shower. The warm water filled the bathroom with steam and attempted to calm my frayed nerves as it massaged my body.

Butterflies in the pit of my stomach were eating at me. I tried not to let my emotions get the best of me, but I couldn't help it. I felt the tears flowing before I had a chance to stop them. I was overwhelmed with everything that had happened between Edward and me.

Peter had asked me to move in with him before I left New York, but I think on some level I knew we'd never move our relationship forward. With Edward, though, I didn't just want to play house. I could see the life I wanted with him unfolding like flipping the pages of a book. But hearing his story about Tanya made me wonder if his heart had truly mended. He'd reacted so viscerally to me when he first met me because I reminded him of Aro and Tanya and the hurt they'd caused him. But the most nagging question I had was whether I could open myself up even further to the possibility that I could get hurt.

I wasn't going to leave Edward. I'd already established that. But I also hadn't thought much about what our future would look like. I just had my version of it. But what about his? Did he want a wife and family? If not, could I live with that? And then there were my insecurities about Tanya. The last person he lived with was his wife, and it made nervous – even though I knew it was ridiculous.

The morning flew by as I worried and stressed over the decision I had to make. I owed it to Edward to really think this through.

By the time I met everyone at the restaurant, I'd worked myself into a complete frenzy. I had a habit of doing that; going over every possible scenario in my head until I worried myself sick.

"You look like shit," Rosalie said as she pulled me into a hug. "I'd say this isn't your average run of the mill crisis."

I gave Emmett and Alice hugs as well and sat down.

"Is this about him giving you his house key?" Rosalie asked, causing Alice's eyes to perk open.

"His house key?" Alice let her curiosity be known. "He gave you his key?"

I nodded and then buried my face in my hands. "He wants me to move in with him."

Rosalie slammed her fists onto the table, causing several patrons around us to jump. "I knew it! How exciting!"

I rolled my eyes. She obviously didn't get the severity of my concern.

"It's not that simple."

"It's not?" Alice asked, shrugging. "It sounds pretty simple to me."

"It's not like I don't want to be with him constantly, but I'm not even sure he sees marriage in the cards. We'd never even discussed it until last night. I mean I want kids and marriage, and I'm already over thirty. What if I move in with him and he never gets there? What then?"

Alice reached over and rubbed my arms in support. Emmett finished chewing a piece of bread, holding up his finger like he wanted to say something.

"Do you have to decide your entire life right now?"

"No, of course not," I said defensively.

"Look, Bella, you're a planner. It's what makes you so good at what you do. But you can't plan everything."

"I know that."

"Do you?" He raised his eyebrows and waited for a dramatic pause. "You're crazy about Edward, and he's crazy about you. Let me ask you this – do you want to move in with him? Forget about all the reasons not to. Would you like to live with him?"

I thought about my response before I spoke. I'd spent more time recently at his house than I had at mine. It felt comfortable and, well, homey. When I'd come back to my place that morning, my house felt different. Even though I was comforted being there, Edward wasn't there, and I ached because of it.

"I can't just dive in head first, Emmett. There are other things to consider."

"Like what?"

"Like Tanya. You guys don't know the whole story, but she really did a number on him. And what if he never completely recovers?"

Alice chimed in. "Those things are part of Edward whether you live with him or not. It's up to you to decide if you can live with his past."

I'd never thought about it like that, but I supposed she was right. I'd been so focused on how Edward must have felt over the whole thing that I'd never stopped to consider if I could live with it. How long would I be able to wait for him to decide? I knew he loved me, but I wanted a family and what if he never came around? What if he didn't want that?

I set down my fork, no longer able to stomach my lunch. I had to talk to Edward and find out more about what he wanted. It would eat at me until I knew.

"You're one of the strongest people I know," Alice responded. "Don't let your head get in the way of your heart."

"I need to know that we're on the same page. I can't just go blindly into the night."

Emmett chimed in, grabbing Rosalie's hand and giving her a slight nod before he spoke. "When I met Rosalie, I thought she was gorgeous, but I had no idea what was going to happen. And I'm happy to tell you that not only is she the love of my life, but she's going to be the mother of my kid. Life isn't linear. Go with it. Be happy."

I looked at Rosalie, who couldn't hide the widest smile I'd ever seen. She looked at Emmett, and they both looked so incredibly happy.

"You're pregnant?" I stammered.

She nodded and squeezed Emmett's hand. "Believe me, I'm a sommelier, and pregnancy doesn't exactly work with that. But like Emmett said, this is where we are, and I feel so fortunate."

I slumped back in my chair. I was so happy for Rosalie and Emmett, but I was envious as well. They had what I wanted – no baggage, no worries, no overactive brain cells sabotaging their happiness. It was just raw, pure contentment with them, and I could see it all over their faces.

When we were done gushing over the baby news, worry came over me again. Apparently Emmett noticed.

"Whatever you decide, we're here for you."

"Thanks, guys." It was up to me now.

I left lunch with my friends feeling conflicted. I pulled out my phone and texted Edward.

_Can I see you? ~B_

He responded almost immediately.

_Sure. I'm at the winery. Come on by. ~E_

I drove the short distance to Masenry and sat in the parking lot for a few minutes to calm my nerves before I headed inside. Carlisle smiled when he saw me, and it was impossible not to smile back, nerves and all.

"Bella, what a pleasant surprise!" He came around the counter and gave me a hug. "I didn't know you were coming in today."

"It wasn't planned. I'm just here to talk to Edward for a minute. He's expecting me."

"I'll let him know you're here." Carlisle was an observant man, and I could tell by the way he reacted to me that he knew this wasn't simply a social call.

He went back around the counter and called Edward. Within a few moments, I saw Edward descending the stairs from his office. His smile lit up the room as he closed the distance between us, pulling me into his arms. I could have stayed there forever.

"Do you have a minute to talk?" I asked nervously.

"Uh, sure." He motioned toward the door, and we walked out into the gardens of his winery. It was really beautiful.

He led us to a bench off the beaten path and sat down. "What's on your mind?"

I could tell he was beginning to get nervous as well. I didn't have impromptu visits to his work often.

"I've been thinking about last night."

He hung his head, already preparing for me to reject him. I reached over and grabbed his hand, needing to comfort him, but not knowing if I could.

"I know you said you moved to New York during school, but did you guys ever live here in Napa together? I'm… just curious." It was probably the least important thing I wanted to talk about, but I just had to know. It was eating at me.

"No. We were divorced in New York, as you said, and I bought this place when I came back. I have nothing of ours – _or hers_ – in my home."

I winced, remembering the story better and feeling bad about bringing up his painful past. "I'm sorry. I'm just being weirdly emotional."

"It's okay. If the tables were turned, and you were the one who was married before, I'm sure I'd have insecurities too. But I don't want you to feel insecure. You have nothing to be worry about."

"I love you, Edward. You know that. But we need to be on the same page. I want to get married and have a family, and I need to know if that's something you see in your future or not."

He continued to look down at our joined hands. "I pressured Tanya to get married. She thought we were too young, but I convinced her it was right. Obviously, it wasn't. I won't make that mistake again. But that doesn't mean I don't see that with you. I just…haven't allowed myself to think about it."

"Because it's too painful."

"Well, yeah. But I do see you in my future."

"What about kids?"

"I never wanted kids. At least not for a long, long time. So when Tanya announced she was pregnant, I was a little panicked. But then the idea grew on me, and I got really excited. But with you, it's different."

My heart sank as his words hit me like a freight train. He didn't want that with me.

He lifted my chin to look at him, obviously seeing the hurt on my face. "That's not what I meant. You…you are everything to me. And if you told me you were pregnant tomorrow, I'd be okay with it."

"Really?" I looked into his eyes and the tears streamed down my face, caught by his fingers gently wiping them away. "I don't want to force something on you that you don't want."

"Like I said before, I forced Tanya into something she didn't want, something that was wrong for both of us. I won't pressure you, but I also won't be pressured myself."

"That's what I'm afraid of – that you'll do this for me when it's not what you really want."

I want everything with you." He put his forehead on my shoulder.

"But last night you said you didn't know?"

"I'm not good at expressing myself; I stuff my emotions down and then I blurt things out. It's hard for me to put words to how I'm feeling. But, I'm not going to lose you. I don't ever want to be apart from you. We may not have a piece of paper binding us together, but in my mind, you're already mine. And I'm never letting go."

I threw my arms around his shoulders and cried happy tears. Alice was right – I was letting my head sabotage my heart. And my heart screamed for Edward.

"I'll do it," I said softly, my voice muffled against his shoulder.

He pulled me back with his hands on my arms. "What did you say?

"I'll move in with you."

His smile made my pounding heart skip a beat. "I'll make you happy."

I put my hand on his cheek. "You already do."

* * *

**A/N: So, they're moving in together! Big step. What did you think? **

**Thanks so much for sticking with me. I know it's been a few weeks since I posted. My life has been beyond crazy, but I promise I'm not abandoning you! I appreciate the sweet notes I've gotten. **

**Thanks to my betas, Viola Cornuta and TwiHart, who turned this around so quickly for me. Also, much love to my pre-readers: sunfeathers, dana1779, scsquared and ellierk. **

**Until next time…**


	26. Chapter 26 Return to NY

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 26: Return to New York**

I hated taking the red eye. As soon as I closed my eyes to sleep, the flight attendant would inevitably come on the loudspeaker and wake me up. So I finally decided to stay awake and not pretend to be sleeping like everyone else.

I pulled out my book and turned on the overhead light, which was surprisingly bright in the darkness of the cabin. Edward was leaning against the window using his jacket as a pillow and sleeping peacefully, remarkably. He looked so serene, as if he didn't have a care in the world.

We'd both had to rearrange our schedules to make it out to New York for Jasper's wedding. He'd met some woman at the restaurant and had fallen madly in love. Even though they'd only been together for a short time, Jasper was sure she was the one, so he proposed. They'd planned a small, quiet affair, but I knew I had to be there. He'd been a good friend to me. He kept me together when I thought Edward and I were falling apart.

December in New York City is magical. I had forgotten just how much I liked the city this time of year. Edward looked deep in thought as we cabbed it over the bridge into Manhattan. I put my hand on his knee, pulling him from his thoughts.

"You okay?" I asked as I gave his knee a squeeze. "You're awfully quiet."

He smiled, but it wasn't entirely genuine. "Yeah, it is weird being back here. I'm okay, though."

I had worried about that same thing, knowing how much painful history had transpired here. "It means a lot to me that you came."

He pulled me against him and sighed. "Of course I came. I want to meet your friends, and I liked Jasper. I just didn't know how I'd feel."

"And how do you feel?"

A part of me hated asking that question because I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer. His painful past had been the source of so much that had happened between us, and I needed to know he'd moved on – that it wasn't going to keep coming between us.

Edward looked out the window again and then back at me. "Surprisingly, I feel nothing. I can't guarantee it'll stay that way, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be."

It wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping for, but it was enough.

We pulled up in front of the hotel and went about the mundane task of retrieving our bags and checking in. Edward was still quiet, but he tried to reassure me with well-timed, loving gestures.

After we'd gotten settled, we decided to take a walk to Rockefeller Center to see the Christmas tree. As soon as I saw it, I was reminded of the picture I'd seen in Peter's apartment of him and Charlotte standing in front of it, smiling as if they didn't have a care in the world. Anger welled up in me at my blind faith in him.

Edward and I grabbed a coffee from a stand and sat down on a bench overlooking the skating rink. The people looked so happy. I envied their carefree smiles and laughs.

I held my coffee cup with both hands, trying simultaneously to calm myself down and warm my hands.

I turned to face Edward. "Do you remember when I came out here for Jasper's birthday?"

He nodded. "That was a tough time for me."

I winced. It had been a tough time for me as well – for numerous reasons.

"When I was here, I stopped by Peter's place to pick up a few of my things."

Edward stiffened next to me but said nothing, so I continued. "There was a picture of him with Charlotte in front of that tree." I pointed to the enormous Christmas tree.

"I hate that you saw him, but I understand," Edward said soothingly, picking up on my tense mood.

"He stood right there with his arm around Charlotte, smiling like the smug bastard he is, all the while he was cheating on me. We were together when the picture was taken, and he had it proudly displayed in his apartment. He made a fool of me."

Edward nodded, obviously able to understand the betrayal I felt. "I'm sorry."

I snapped out of my funk. "I'm not telling you this to hurt you. I'm not sorry about Peter and what happened, and I really don't care that he's with Charlotte. I just can't believe I didn't know. I can't believe that was all happening under my nose, and I had no idea."

"I know how you feel." Edward looked up at the skaters, pretending to take an interest. "It makes me wonder what else I didn't know."

We both needed confirmation. I trusted Edward, and I knew he trusted me, but there was still an underlying doubt that nagged at me. I was a product of my experiences, and Edward was as well.

"I would never do that to you, Edward. Never."

He smiled, and this one was sincere. "I know." He brought his gloved hand up to my face and leaned in to give me a kiss. "I'd never hurt you that way, either."

I sighed. Edward wasn't Peter, and I believed him, but it was so scary to know he had my heart so completely.

"I love you so much, baby," I said, nuzzling my nose into his neck. "Now I have happy memories here, instead of angry ones. This place should make happy memories this time of year."

We stayed for a few minutes, talking and laughing. It was nice to spend time together away from our everyday lives. Here we had no worries. We had no stress. We could just be ourselves.

We wandered lazily back to the hotel, taking time to window shop. The streets were bustling, yet it felt as if it was just the two of us.

When we got back to the room, I had barely taken off my coat and put my stuff down when I felt Edward slide his arms around my waist and kiss the back of my neck. The hair all over my body stood on end as he brought out the emotions in me. His touch was intoxicating.

"He was a damn fool," he said in between kisses. I didn't need to ask who he was talking about, and I had to admit his possessive nature only added to his allure.

I let my head fall back as his hands slowly lifted my shirt. His body was hot, and the warmth radiated off him. "How do you do that?" I managed to spit out in my lust-induced haze.

His lips never left my skin as he asked, "Mmm…do what?"

"Dazzle me." It was the best way I could describe how he made me feel. He'd been doing it since the night I first saw him at the Harvest Party. It was just - him.

His lips curved up into a smile against my skin that I could feel instead of see. "I'd say you're pretty dazzling too."

I let myself completely succumb to him, and he took over. His hands were everywhere on me, and I could barely think. All I could do was feel him and show him with my body just how much he owned me.

Needless to say, neither of us got much sleep that night.

The next day, the day of the wedding, I woke up and Edward was gone. He'd left me a note saying he was out for a run and would be back in a bit. After our night of making love, a run was the last thing on my mind. I set the paper down, already missing Edward, and hopped into the shower.

When Edward wasn't back after an hour, I began to get worried. Where the hell had he gone running? I would have called him, but I saw his phone sitting on top of the table. I didn't like having no way to get in touch with him.

Needing a distraction, I flipped on the TV in the room and curled up onto the bed. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Edward was kissing my cheek.

I didn't open my eyes. I just pulled him down onto the bed and into my arms. "I was worried about you."

He kissed my forehead and then my cheek as he held me close. "Sorry, love. I got distracted by the shops."

I could understand that. Christmastime really was magical here.

By the time Edward showered and we ate, it was almost time to leave for the wedding. Edward looked amazing as always in his perfectly fitted suit. He wasn't wearing a tie, so his collar was unbuttoned and slightly casual. I wore a cream and gray bandage dress that was strapless and fell just to my knees and a gray pashmina shawl. I felt a little self conscious in something so form fitting, but Edward assured me he liked it, and if his facial expression when I walked out was any indicator, I'd say he liked it A LOT.

We hopped into the cab on our way to the small church where the ceremony was being held. Edward was tense next to me.

"Hey," I said, giving him a little shake. "It'll be okay."

"I know. It's just been years since I've seen Aro, and I'm not looking forward to it."

I kissed him on the cheek. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm not really looking forward to seeing him either. I'm different now, and seeing him is only going to make it obvious just how different."

Edward cupped my face with one of his hands as the other one pulled me into his side for a hug. "I can't tell you how happy I am about that."

And just like that, we were okay.

The wedding was short and sweet. Jasper's new wife Maria was every bit as lovely as he'd described. I felt a twinge of jealousy as I watched them declare their love and commit to each other. I allowed my mind to wander and fantasize about what that moment would be like for me one day. I listened to the vows and the significance of their meaning, and a tear came to my eye. I'd never understood people who sobbed at weddings, yet here I was doing just that. I tried to wipe it discreetly, but Edward saw me and grabbed my hand and pulled it into his lap.

The reception was being held in the private rooms of one of Aro's restaurants only a few blocks from our hotel. We had avoided the spot since we arrived, not able to deal with our respective pasts just yet.

Jasper had worked for Aro for years and had garnered much respect in the eyes of the New York culinary community. I guessed letting him have his reception at the restaurant was Aro's way of thanking him for his loyalty – not that Aro understood true loyalty.

We barely managed to grab a drink before I saw Aro approach.

"Bella, darling! I was hoping I'd see you here." His voice made the hair on my neck stand on end. I'd never noticed when I worked for him just how much he could turn on the faux charm. He pulled me into an awkward hug.

I stepped back and took a moment to look at my former boss. Physically, he was a handsome man, but the years of working himself to the bone and the constant partying were taking their toll. He looked exhausted and weathered. All I could think about was that it could have been me.

"Hi, Aro," I replied, hoping it sounded remotely sincere. I'd worked for Aro for years, and had been happy doing it, but hindsight had uglied him, and I didn't want to see or talk to him.

"I've heard good things about your new place. Glad to see you learned a few things working for me."

I cringed and wondered how I hadn't seen this side of him before.

Edward stood firm at my side. I could see his body tense without needing to even touch him, but he was doing a good job of keeping himself under control. I had a quick flashback of the man I'd met when I first moved to Napa and quickly recalled how closed off and controlled he could be. It wasn't a fond memory, and I despised Aro for bringing out the worst in Edward.

Aro stuck out his hand and smiled politely at Edward. "Aro Volturi."

He didn't even remember Edward? He ruined his life and couldn't even be bothered to show the slightest recollection?

Edward paused and looked down at Aro's extended hand, and I could see the internal struggle going on inside him. He eventually slid his hand into Aro's but his face remained tense. "Actually, we've met. I'm Edward." There was still nothing from Aro, so Edward continued. "Edward Cullen."

Recognition lit up Aro's face, and he smiled smugly. Edward's knuckles were white as he gripped Aro's hand and tried not to beat the shit out of him for so blatantly disregarding the consequences of his actions.

"Yes, I think we have met." With that, Aro looked around the room for an escape and finally settled his eyes on me. "I have to run and help the servers. It was a pleasure to see you, Bella."

I watched him disappear into the small crowd, amazed at what had just happened. Aro was all Edward had thought about for years after Tanya left, and it was just like brushing a fly off his sleeve to Aro. I wasn't sure what was the bigger insult – the fact that he'd forgotten to begin with or how blasé he was once the realization set in. I felt sick to my stomach knowing I'd worked for such an asshole for so many years.

I glanced up at Edward, whose head was still turned in the direction Aro had walked. He was stone cold. Needing to diffuse the awkward situation, I slipped my arms around his waist, causing him to look down at me.

"He doesn't matter." I rubbed his back for emphasis. "All that's in the past."

I felt Edward soften, and his hands came up and pushed my hair over my shoulders. "So many times I've wondered what I would say to him if and when I ever saw him again. So many times. But when he walked up and hugged you, all I could think was 'not her.' Nothing else mattered but protecting you from him."

I rested my cheek on his chest, loving the comforting sound of his heartbeat. "You don't have to protect me from him, but I'm happy that you want to."

He kissed the top of my head. "It's over now. After all these years, it's finally over for me."

I closed my eyes. It was music to my ears. "I'm so happy to hear that, Edward. I left this place behind me long ago. And this just confirms that decision."

"Come on," he said, pulling me back and grabbing my hand. "Let's go find Jasper and Maria."

Aro eventually made his grand reappearance, but it didn't have the same effect. The curtain had been pulled back, leaving only an attention-starved asshole instead of the wizard. What Aro did or didn't do from that point on had no bearing on us. It was as if the weight of the world had just been lifted off our shoulders.

We drank and ate and chatted up Jasper and Maria. It was nice to be around old friends again, especially with Edward at my side.

The reception wound down, and we promised to stop by and say goodbye before they left for their honeymoon and we had to leave to go home. It was late, but we'd never have known it from the amount of people on the street. Edward held me against his side as we clumsily walked the short distance to the hotel.

I flopped onto the bed, exhausted and really happy, letting my arms fall above my head. My eyes never left Edward as he toed off his shoes and took off his jacket, hanging it on the back of the desk chair adjacent to the bed.

I was wearing the hugest smile on my face, but I couldn't help it. It was the first time I'd felt this free and happy in a very long time.

Edward crawled up the bed, settling a knee between my legs as he rested his body on top of mine. His fingers played with the tendrils of my hair, but his eyes were fixed on mine. "You're so beautiful, you know that?"

I reached up and threaded my fingers in the hair at the back of his head and pulled him down to me. "You're perfect."

Our kisses weren't rushed. We were too tired to take this further. This was just a verbal confirmation that another door to the past had closed, leaving only the future to think about.

I slept amazingly well.

Edward had already ordered room service, complete with coffee, juices and a wide assortment of breakfast pastries, by the time I woke up. I lay in bed quietly and watched him across the room, carelessly eating a croissant as he read the paper. I loved watching him when he didn't know I was watching. There was serenity to his face that was breathtaking.

I sighed audibly, causing him to notice me. "Hey, you're awake. Come eat! I ordered breakfast. I hope you don't mind."

I sat up and stretched and then swung my legs over the side of the bed. I was still groggy, but the promise of coffee was hugely motivating, so I forced myself to get up. I leaned down and kissed Edward on the cheek over the back of the couch. It was such a domestic gesture, and something we'd gotten in the habit of at home.

I thought back to when we first moved in together – how unsure I was about it. I didn't want anything to ruin what we had, and I was worried Edward didn't take it as seriously as I did. But it had been as natural as walking. We settled into our comfortable routine as though we'd been doing it for years.

In the eight months since I'd moved in with Edward, we'd only had three major issues. The first was right after the fourth of July when Tanya showed up unannounced. I had answered the door and immediately recognized her from the pictures I'd seen. The look of shock on her face was no less than mine, I was sure, and it took all the strength I had not to claw her eyes out. How dare she show up here after what she'd done?

Edward had walked up behind me, no doubt wondering who was at the door, and when he saw her, he froze. He'd asked me if he could speak to her alone, a thought which made me extremely nervous, but I obliged. He'd walked out the front door and shut it behind him. I paced the floor of the kitchen, wishing it were later in the day so I could have a glass of wine – or four. After what seemed like forever, he had walked back in, alone thankfully. He watched me with trepidation, probably wondering when I was going to explode.

Instead, I waited for him.

"She left," he said nervously.

"Uh huh…" What the hell else was I supposed to have said?

He had closed the distance between us and engulfed me in a hug. "I told her not to come back, that I'm happy now."

"Do you think she'll stick to that or should we expect another surprise visit?" There had been a bite in my voice; I hadn't been able to control it. "I mean, what did she want after all this time?"

I could see the frustration in Edward's face. "I don't want to –"

"Please, it's okay to tell me."

He ran his hands through his hair. "I don't know…she apologized and said she was young and impressionable. Whatever. She wants to be friends. She says she feels horrible about what happened. Blah, blah, blah."

"And what did you say?"

"I don't want to be her friend. I don't want a relationship with her at all. It's not that I'm even mad or upset anymore, it's just…over." He leaned back and made eye contact. "She's not coming back, baby."

I'd closed my eyes and exhaled, willing the tears not to come.

_She's not coming back._ How I'd hoped that was true.

But she did honor his request, and since that time, she'd stayed away.

The other two disagreements we'd had were minor in comparison, mostly about both of our stubborn tendencies to keep things inside when we were upset. We were changing that slowly, but it was going to take some time.

Other than that, living with Edward had been the best decision of my life. I loved waking up in his arms, or even just feeling the warm bed he left behind. I loved the way his pillow smelled and the smell of his soap. I loved how he made an extra pot of coffee in the morning because he knew I liked Vanilla Bean or how he'd moved his clothes to the hall closet so I could have more space. But mostly, I loved his kiss first thing in the morning, reminding me that I still had him.

"Here you go." He handed me a cup of coffee, pulling me from my reverie. I inhaled the aroma and smiled, wondering if this morning could be any more perfect.

We decided to go to the museums for a few hours before we had to head to Jasper's house and then on to the airport. We walked lazily through Central Park, hand in hand. Despite the chill in the air, I was quite warm.

"Bella," Edward said suddenly. "Can we stop here for a minute?"

He pointed at a vacant bench that overlooked a frozen pond with a bridge crossing it. The starkness of the trees provided a picturesque backdrop, even in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world.

He led me to the bench, wiping it clear before we both sat down.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, curious as to why we'd stopped walking.

He grabbed my gloved hands, gently rubbing the backs with his thumbs. "Everything's fine. I'm just…I don't know…I'm nervous."

"Nervous? I'm sorry, babe. I guess I – "

"Bella, be quiet." I looked up at him in shock, at least until I saw the beaming smile on his face.

I closed my mouth dramatically and waited for him to say something.

"You know how I was gone yesterday morning?"

I nodded.

"I lied. I didn't go on a run."

My stomach was in knots. Where was this conversation going?

"Where'd you go, then?"

He reached into his coat and pulled out a small box. "I was getting this."

A small box.

A small box.

My mind was going a million miles a minute.

A small box.

Sensing my obvious distress, Edward put the box in my palm and opened it, revealing the most stunning diamond ring I had ever seen. It was square cut and had small diamonds all the way around the band.

The tears blurred my vision, and all I could see was a sparkly blob in a sea of black velvet.

Edward lifted my quivering chin, and I could practically feel the love pouring out of him. "See why I'm nervous?"

I nodded and continued my blubbering.

He looked down momentarily as if steeling his resolve and then looked back up at me. "I love you, Bella. I know how I acted at the beginning when we first met, and I wish I could take it all back. I was just so scared of getting hurt, and I took it out on you. I'm so sorry I hurt you – "

"Edward – "

"No, let me say this. I never expected this. Hell, I never thought I'd get over what happened before, but I was so drawn to you. I wanted to be around you, and it was so confusing. You were so patient, even when I treated you horribly. I regret that; it was a defense mechanism. If you didn't get close, you couldn't hurt me. But you did get close, and I did get over my past and now you're in my life, and I can't ever let you go. I know now that I went through all of that to lead me to you."

I sniffled through my tears, letting the true weight of his words sink in.

He continued. "I wanted to do this here. It seems like the perfect place to close one chapter of our lives and start a new one. I can't imagine my life without you. You make everything better. So, Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?"

Oh my God. The words hit me like a freight train. It was nothing like I had imagined it would feel like. It was perfect – because it was him.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked up into his eyes. His face held every imaginable emotion – happiness, love, anxiety, but most of all hope.

"Yes." It had never been easier to say.

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**A/N: So, what did you think? Did our boy do okay? We're wrapping up the story. Only one more chapter and then an outtake from chapter 2 – the first time he sees Bella. Not going to lie - this chapter was the hardest for me to write. I struggled a lot with it.  
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**I feel like I apologize for my delays every chapter, and I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to post. I promise, I'm really trying! **

**New pics are on my profile. Come check them out!  
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**The last chapter had the fewest reviews of any one so far. Did I lose some of you? What happened? You have to know that as an author, every time I hit post, I am filled with anxiety, so please leave me a review and let me know what you think. I can take constructive criticism – believe me, it's much better than your silence. Even though I've been too swamped to respond, I read every single one. I'm worried. Help a sister out! **

**Thanks to my team this week, who always make me feel better. **


	27. Chapter 27 Bliss

**A/N: This is an outtake I wrote based on reviews from last chapter (see, I do read them). It spans the time between when they moved in together and when they went to New York. I still have the other outtake and an epilogue to go as well. I hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 27: Bliss**

**Edward**

"Move in with me, Bella."

The minute the words left my mouth I knew for certain that was what I wanted. I'd given it a lot of thought, and although I was scared, I wanted Bella by my side always.

At first she hesitated, and I worried she was going to reject me, but she didn't, and I was the happiest I'd ever been.

And that was how, after only a few months of dating, I was at her house helping her pack up her things.

It seemed surreal how far we'd come in such a short time. She never understood just how profoundly she'd affected me from the beginning. Truth be told, I didn't entirely understand it either. All I knew was she was different, and I couldn't let her go.

"Babe, can you help me with this?" I heard Bella call from the bedroom.

I walked down the hallway and had to laugh at the sight before me. She was carrying so much stuff that she couldn't even see where she was walking.

"What are you doing, crazy girl?" I asked with a chuckle as I took several boxes from her hands.

"I didn't want to have to make a second trip," she said innocently, obviously seeing the error of her ways.

"A little excited, are we?" I raised my eyebrows at her as we began to walk to the U-Haul.

"Actually, yes."

"Me too." I smiled back at her.

Bella had taken two days off to get settled into my place. I had cleared out closets and drawers to make room for her stuff. My entire kitchen had to be gutted so we could equip it to Bella's standards. Living with a world class chef was definitely going to have its perks.

There were boxes everywhere, but the house had never felt more like a home. Bella rummaged through her kitchen things and managed to make the best burritos I had ever had for dinner the first night. We sat amongst the clutter as we shared good food and wine, laughter and easy conversation.

It felt right. For the first time in my life, I knew everything was absolutely right.

Things progressed perfectly. We didn't fight. We loved and respected each other. She brought me out of my shell more and more with each passing day, and instead of feeling anxious about being so open with her, it felt natural. I trusted her not to break my heart. And she trusted me with hers.

We weren't without our problems, though. One night the doorbell rang as we were watching TV and Bella got up to answer the door. We weren't expecting anyone so I thought it was a solicitor, but when I heard the voice from my past, I leapt up off the couch and ran to her side. To her credit, Bella held it together, but I knew I had to manage the situation once and for all.

I looked at Bella, whose face was tight with anger and sheet white, and I asked, "Can I speak to Tanya alone for a moment?"

Bella's body was stiff, but she obliged. I shut the front door behind me, leaving me alone with Tanya. I felt nothing but concern and worry for Bella. It was such a dramatic departure from every other time I'd seen Tanya.

"What are you doing here, Tanya?" My voice was rough as I stared at the woman who had once ruined my life.

I was amazed at how little I felt for the woman standing in front of me. A part of me would always care for her and wish her the best, but she didn't possess the power over me that she always had. It seemed to be unsettling to her as well. She had wielded that power over me with such skill for so long.

She looked down nervously and then back up. "Is that your girlfriend?"

"It isn't any of your business. I don't owe you any explanations. What are you doing here?"

"I was in town visiting my parents, and I had to see you. I came to apologize. I want…I want you back in my life, Edward. I've always loved you."

I stifled a laugh. She still had a lot of nerve. "Thank you for apologizing, but it doesn't change anything. I'm happy now."

She reached out and touched my arm but pulled it back when I flinched. "I never meant to hurt you. I was young and didn't realize how special what we had was." The pain in her voice was evident, and I knew she was fighting back tears.

"Look, Tanya, like I said before, I'm happy now. None of this matters."

"Can we at least be friends? You…you were such a part of my life for so long. I'm so sorry about what happened. I don't want to lose you entirely." A tear fell on her cheek.

I shook my head. "No…Tanya…we can't be friends. What happened between us was too much to recover from, and I'm with Bella now."

"I can't believe it's too late. I knew you'd find someone…"

"It isn't just because of Bella. Out of respect for her, I could never be friends with you. But I've moved on. Thank you for apologizing. Believe it or not, I appreciate the effort, but you and I are done. I wish you and your family well."

The single tear on her face had now turned into a sob. "It's my fault. I'm so sorry."

"Goodbye, Tanya." I put my hands in my pockets. There was nothing really left to say.

"Can I at least call you?" She wasn't giving up.

"No, don't call me. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but this needs to be goodbye. We can't keep talking."

She nodded and looked down. "Okay," she squeaked out through her tears. "She's a lucky girl. I hope she appreciates you."

I nodded and smiled a tight smile, wanting more than anything to go to Bella and comfort her. I knew she was inside pulling her hair out.

"Goodbye."

She turned and walked away, and I went inside, finally shutting the door on my painful past, anxious to get to the girl who was my future.

Bella handled the Tanya situation considerably better than I would have if the roles had been reversed. We worked through it, and I felt as if I was finally in a healthy relationship.

Over the next few months, we settled into an easy routine. At times I struggled with her work schedule, but we appreciated the times we did have. Still, it wasn't always easy.

I planned a special date on a Tuesday night, because she worked during the day instead of the night shift. She'd been working almost two weeks straight, and we needed the time together. I wanted to make the date special. I was going to take her out to dinner to her favorite spot and then go have drinks at Auberge du Soleil.

Bella was supposed to be home at four o'clock, leaving us plenty of time to get ready and make our reservations. Instead, she called at four and said she had to stay and work because her manager had called in sick. I knew it wasn't her fault, but I was so angry. We argued fiercely, and I practically hung up on her.

By the time she got home, I had fallen asleep on the couch, having had several glasses of wine alone. I woke up to her hands in my hair, gently rubbing. I couldn't help but lean into her touch.

"I'm home, baby," she said soothingly. "I'm sorry about tonight."

My anger flooded back. "I wanted to do something nice – to have some quality time with you."

"It's not always like this, but there are times when it can't be helped. It doesn't mean I love you any less. Let me make it up to you."

I felt my anger subside as she straddled me on the couch and leaned down to kiss me. I craved her touch.

"I hate being away from you, but the best part of my day is that I get to come home to you every night."

She always knew what to say. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me. "I love you so much. I'm sorry I was angry. I just missed you."

She rubbed my cheek with the back of her hand. "I know you much better than you think, and I understand."

She pulled me off the couch and into the bedroom. She clicked off the lights and moved us both to the bed, where, despite the late hour, she showed me how sorry she was, and I showed her how much I'd missed her.

It was comforting to know that no matter what happened we were learning how to talk things through. I'd never had that with anyone else. But then everything about Bella was different – in a very good way.

Even professionally, we meshed. We hosted a fundraiser together with Emmett, Alice and Rosalie's help, of course. I supplied the wine, Emmett supplied the venue and Bella and Alice supplied the food. It went off without a hitch. Usually I left such events to my staff, but I found I actually enjoyed putting it on and seeing it come together. Seeing Bella in her element would never get old.

In late October, we got an invitation to Jasper's wedding. We were both surprised at this development, since he and his fiancée Maria hadn't been together that long. My immediate reaction was to decline the invitation, since I knew a trip out to New York would mean confronting my past. But after reflecting on the incident with Tanya, I felt confident I could do it. In fact, I wanted to put it all behind me so I could concentrate on moving forward with Bella.

I had never thought about the potential for me to get remarried again until Bella. In fact, there was one night in particular when I made the decision that I always wanted her by my side. It was nothing special. It was a Sunday night, and she was making dinner. I'd gone to shower, and when I came back, she had the music blaring and was dancing around the kitchen as she cooked. She was totally uninhibited. I watched her move and sing and had to stop myself from laughing out loud at the sight. In that silly moment, I knew she was the one I wanted to marry. I loved her carefree outlook on life; it balanced my cynicism. I loved that she was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. I loved that she was mine.

My latest epiphany had me completely freaked out and on edge. I knew I needed to talk to someone because I felt as if I was going to burst. I knew who I had to call.

"Hello?" Just hearing her voice comforted me.

"Jane. It's me."

I fell back on the couch, and we fell into our usual easy conversation. But, Jane knew me better than I thought and called me out.

"What's going on with you? You're acting strange."

Was I that obvious?

I sighed. "I think I'm going to propose to Bella."

There was a blood-curdling scream on the other end of the phone that was so loud I actually had to pull the phone away from my ear.

"Are you serious?" she asked when she composed herself. "Holy shit."

"Uh…yeah, I think I am." I couldn't believe the words had come out of my mouth. Somehow they seemed so much more real.

"Oh my God, Edward, this is the best news. I love Bella, but more than that, I know how much _you_ love Bella."

"I do, but I'm freaking out." I so needed Jane's sensible nature right then.

I heard shuffling on the phone as if she was changing positions. "Okay, let's work this out."

There was the Jane I knew and loved.

She was in counselor mode. "What has you worried?"

Everything.

"That it could turn out like Tanya. That I'd fail again at being a husband."

"Okay, first of all, you didn't fail at being a husband. She was a wretched wife. And second of all, Bella is nothing like her. I see the way she looks at you, and I _never_ saw that with Tanya. Plus, you're both older and you know what you want."

"I hope you're right."

"I am."

I'd felt lost for so long, it felt normal.

"What if Bella says no?" Another fear of mine.

"What if she says yes?"

I hated that she answered my question with a question. She paused on the line to let me ponder that thought. What if I asked her and she said yes? I'd be the happiest guy alive.

"I'm nervous," I confessed.

"Of course you are. You love her. But I can tell you this; she loves you just as much. She's not going to say no. Trust me."

Bella and Jane had developed a friendship over the summer, as Jane had been up several times to visit. It made me happy to see them get along so well. I just hoped Jane knew Bella as well as she was saying, because I didn't know if I could take the rejection.

"Am I crazy for even contemplating this again?"

"No, of course not. And when you find the right person, you can't let her go."

And that was the crux of it, the point that drove it home for me: I'd never let her go.

It was strange because after I'd made the decision that I wanted to marry her, I didn't want to wait. I felt like I needed to tell her. As I stared at Jasper and Maria's wedding invitation, I devised my plan. I could close one chapter of my life and start a new one all at once.

I couldn't help but smile just thinking about it.

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**A/N: So, did that make you feel better? Thanks to all of you who reviewed and let me know you needed more before the proposal. I was trying to show the passage of time last chapter, but it sounded like it was a little choppy. Hopefully this rectifies that for you. **

**Thanks, as always, to my betas – Viola Cornuta and TwiHart, without whom this would suck. And much love to my cheerleaders/pre-readers - Sunfeathers, ellierk, dana1779 and scsquared.**

**The next outtake is already written and with my betas, so it shouldn't be long. **

**Love you guys! *muah***


	28. Chapter 28 Bella

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 28: Bella **

**Edward**

Normally I enjoyed going to these types of parties, but tonight I wasn't in the mood. This time of year was filled with Harvest celebrations, and after a while, they got old. I was supposed to pick up Gianna at 6:00, but I was feeling rushed, which didn't help my already foul mood.

Work had been stressful lately. With the harvest in full swing, it seemed as if I was being pulled in a million different directions. Plus, my personal life sucked. I had only started dating Gianna a month before, but the relationship – if that's what you called it - was already annoying me. She was very needy and insecure, which drove me crazy. She was beautiful on the outside, but had nothing interesting on the inside. She wanted a commitment from me, much more than I could give, and it was a constant source of tension between us. I had no desire for a serious relationship. She was incredibly hot, and my body definitely craved the company, but I was beginning to question if it was worth the effort or if she would ever amount to anything more than a physical release for me.

I grabbed my keys off the table and headed out, trying to muster up enough energy to make it through the night.

The party was going strong by the time we arrived. Gianna was much more enthusiastic about being there than I was, but I was doing my best to fake it. Garrett Cooper, a local restaurateur approached me, and I knew the night was about to take a turn for the worse.

"Edward, I've been looking for you." He was all business, and I tried to keep my face professional.

Cooper was exactly what I fucking hated about the "new Napa." He was a hot shit chef, who rode the popularity train to Napa, hoping to educate all of us farmers on the finer things in life. He was ruining my hometown with his New York ways. But I was a business owner first and foremost, and whatever issues I had with the way Napa Valley was headed needed to be buried deep, especially around a man with his considerable influence.

I smiled with as much sincerity as I could muster. "Garrett, how are things with you? Is business picking up with the increase in tourists for the harvest?"

He slapped me on the back condescendingly and began a ten minute diatribe about how fabulous he was. Thank God I had just refreshed my cocktail or the conversation would have been unbearable.

In addition, Gianna was getting more and more drunk as the evening progressed, and I found that babysitting her was getting increasingly aggravating. She hung on my arm and laughed at every mundane joke I said. I tried to keep up the pretense that we were happy, but I wasn't that good of an actor.

A flash of creamy skin and dark hair passed close by, and my eyes were drawn to her. She was breathtaking. Her navy blue dress showed just enough skin to make me wonder about what was underneath. I wanted to talk to her, but one glance at the drunken woman by my side told me that wouldn't be possible without making a scene. Still, I had to find out who she was.

I saw her talking to Alice Brandon, whom I knew in passing, as well as Garrett Cooper. As much as I didn't want to initiate another conversation with him, I wanted to know who the creamy-skinned beauty was.

Gianna went to the restroom, and I saw my chance. I meandered through the crowd toward Garrett, trying to act nonchalant while my eyes searched for _her_. I saw her off to the side talking to a stunning blond woman, and I couldn't stop the smile on my face. She was completely unaware of the looks she was getting from just about every man there as she and her friend talked. There was something seductive and intriguing about the way she spoke, using her hands to emphasize her point and an infectious smile that dazzled.

Garrett was all too easy to pull into another conversation. He had been trying to procure some of Masenry's new release wines, and I had no problem using that fact to glean information out of him.

"Hey, Garrett, do you know who that woman is? I think I know her from somewhere," I lied.

He followed my subtle pointing and smiled. "The woman in the blue dress?"

I nodded. I got the distinct feeling Garrett liked being part of the gossip circle because he leaned in close to me as if he was divulging her FBI dossier. "That's Bella Swan. She owns Confidential, the new restaurant in St. Helena. She worked for Aro Volturi in New York, at Volterra. She stole my sous chef." He shrugged. "Her restaurant is decent, though."

Bella Swan. I did know her from somewhere. Or at least I knew her name. Why did it have to be her? Why did she have to be the one person I had no desire to know?

Aro and I had a sordid and very unpleasant past. So, when I heard that one of his minions was opening a restaurant in Napa, I was not happy. It seemed I couldn't get away from his influence. I'd read about Confidential's opening and Bella's impressive resume in several publications recently. It seemed she was the hot new thing in town.

I felt my stomach roll as I tried to get away from Garrett and keep my eyes off the one woman I couldn't, and wouldn't allow myself, to ever approach. Like Garrett, she stood for everything I hated.

Still, my eyes were drawn to her as I moved through the party, trying desperately to find a server to get me a drink. My body was at war with my head, which told me to stay far away from the brunette beauty. My body wholeheartedly disagreed.

I was stopped by the owners of a neighboring vineyard as I walked through the party. I had no desire to make small talk, but they were nice enough people and had always been supportive of our family, so I stopped to chat while my heart was pounding inside my chest. I laughed at all the appropriate times, and from the outside, probably appeared to be enjoying myself.

I casually glanced in Bella's direction, and to my surprise, she was walking toward me. I quickly turned away; equally annoyed that I'd been caught staring and that she had been directing her beautiful gaze at me. The next time I looked up, she smiled warmly at me, and I couldn't help but reciprocate. She was so captivating.

To solidify my unease over whatever it was that was transpiring between me and Bella, Gianna found me after her trip to the bathroom and began to hang all over me again. Bella walked by, seemingly flustered, and I didn't see her again for a while. The night was turning out to be a disaster.

I watched Bella as much as I could the rest of the night, telling myself it was just to learn more about the newcomer in town. That wasn't true. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to kiss those perfect lips. But what I wanted more than anything else was to hate her. I was completely fucked.

Having had enough self-torture for the night, I gave Gianna the valet ticket while I claimed our coats.

"I'm sorry. I don't have my ticket. The name's Cullen," I said to the attendant as I dug through my pockets.

I heard a faint gasp and then turned to my right to see Bella standing there, looking as if she'd seen a ghost. I had been in such a frenzy to leave that I didn't even notice her standing there.

She stiffened. I stiffened. It was awkward.

Finally, she smiled warmly and extended her hand. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Isabella Swan. I've just opened a restaurant in town."

I didn't know how to react. Her voice was soft and lovely, and I couldn't tear my eyes away from her face, so expressive and kind. But then I remembered who she was, who she had worked for, and the anger began to build inside me.

"I'm aware of who you are, Ms. Swan," I said as I shook her hand.

She was all smiles as she continued. "Well, I hope you've heard good things. I'm sorry; I didn't get your name."

"That's because I didn't say it. I'm Edward Cullen."

I had thought about talking to her all night, but now that I was actually doing it, I found my voice contained all the vitriol I'd been trying to conceal.

The attendant chose that moment to return with our coats, and I saw that as a sign. I needed to leave.

"Good night, Ms. Swan." I knew how it sounded, but I was doing my best to stay in control and not say something I regretted. I turned and left before my body had a chance to betray my mind.

I slid into my car and sighed. What a fucking disaster. After a few minutes driving in complete silence, Gianna reached over and grabbed my thigh as I drove, which oddly had zero effect on me. I wasn't feeling in the mood for her seductions, and I knew she was just drunk anyway. Still, she proceeded to run her hand up my thigh and grab my dick before I even had the chance to stop her.

I reached down instinctively and grabbed her wrist. "Stop."

That only served as fuel, and she leaned over and began to kiss my neck. I was simultaneously trying to concentrate on not killing us and getting her off me. "I'm serious, Gianna, stop!"

She sat down in a huff. "What's your problem?"

I shook my head. Somehow telling her I'd been obsessing over some woman in a blue dress with creamy white skin didn't seem to be the right thing to do. "I'm just tired."

She rolled her eyes and looked out the window. "You know, you're a good fuck, but you're kind of a train wreck."

My sentiments exactly.

She continued. "You don't seem to know what the hell you want."

If she only knew just how true that was.

"Listen, Gianna, if you really must know, I don't think this is going to work." I gestured between the two of us.

She shook her head. "You used me." He voice sounded suddenly sober.

"No, I didn't. I never promised anything serious." It was true, I hadn't made any such claims to her or anyone else.

By this time, I was pulling up to her house, thankful I didn't have to have a full blown conversation about it. My mind was spent.

"You're an asshole, Edward," she said as she slammed the car door and leaned down to the window.

"It wasn't going to work. You know that. We want different things."

"Yeah well, when you figure out whatever the fuck it is you want, give me a call."

She turned on her heel, and I sat there dumbfounded as to how I could fuck up yet again. I had tried from the beginning to make myself clear. I wanted pleasant companionship and good sex from Gianna. She was pushing to get close, and I didn't do close. Never again.

Over the next couple of weeks, I had almost managed to forget about Bella Swan until I received an invitation for a birthday party in the mail. It was for Leah White, who was the daughter of Sam and Emily White, old time vintners in Napa Valley and longtime Cullen family friends. The party was at Confidential, unfortunately, and I couldn't decline. I also couldn't show up alone; my pride wouldn't let me.

After I replied that I'd attend, I called my friend Heidi. She and I had been friends for a long time, and she'd been my plus one to various functions before. After the drama with Gianna, an easy going date was just what I needed.

I was dreading the party. Not only did I have no desire to patronize Bella's establishment, I wasn't sure I wanted to see her again. She made me feel like a teenager, unable to control myself, and I was completely uncomfortable with that. Still, I showed up with smiles and false bravado.

I saw Bella working the party, managing to look just as beautiful as I remembered from the Harvest Ball, even though she was in her chef uniform. She looked confident, accomplished. At one point, she caught me staring at her, and I quickly averted my eyes and shook my head.

Damn it!

Heidi laughed while clutching my arm, pulling me from my ogling. I hated that I had this reaction to Bella. My life would be substantially easier if I could just forget her.

While I was on my way to the bathroom, I literally ran right into Bella, who spilled iced tea all over me. My first reaction was to help her up, but then I realized who it was and my anger took over. It wasn't just that I was covered in iced tea, but no matter how much I tried to avoid it, she kept creeping into my conscience.

She apologized profusely, but I had to get away from her. She was professional and sweet, but I couldn't risk the chance that it was all a façade. After all, this was her business, who knew what she was really like.

The problem was that I didn't know what to believe about her. She didn't seem to fit the mold of one of Aro's minions, even though she was. Was it possible to work closely with a man for many years and not adopt some of his ways? I hesitated as I cleaned up, thinking of what I might say to her. She had me severely confused, and I hadn't exactly been kind to her. Would "I'm sorry I got unnecessarily angry" suffice? Or was it simply too late for that? Why couldn't I just find that practiced professional persona around her?

Deciding I was slowly losing my mind, I opted for saying nothing and walked back to my date - my easy, non-confusing date. I saw Bella several more times, but she made no effort to approach me or talk to me again – not that I blamed her.

That night as I lay in bed, my mind wandered back to the brunette who had me in knots. I wanted to hate her, but there was no question that I was intrigued. It was complicated and confusing.

I imagined what it would be like to be the source of her radiant smile. I thought about kissing her and feeling her naked body against mine. I could almost see her face as I brought her to orgasm. It was the first time I had fantasized about her, and my dick was as hard as a rock. I reached down and stroked myself to relieve the tension, letting my mind run wild – me fucking her with abandon, her riding me, her sucking my cock. She was fucking fantastic in my mind, and I came with such force it took me several minutes to come down.

What the fuck was going on?

It was about two weeks after the iced tea debacle that I saw Bella again. I was just stopping by Masenry for a few minutes to talk to my father and finish up a few things before running some errands.

The tasting room had a few customers in it when I walked in, and Carlisle was working his magic with some giggly women at the end. I gave only a cursory glance before I noticed who the giggling women were - Alice Brandon, Bella Swan and Rosalie Hale. Rosalie had met with me a few times recently to try and procure some of our wines for her restaurant, which, I had come to understand, was Bella's. I knew she was coming in today, but I didn't expect her to bring Bella with her.

All the emotions I'd been fighting since I met her flooded the surface of my mind, and I stiffened with unease. She looked beautiful. Her shoulders and back were exposed, as were her long legs. I tried to act nonchalant, but I had never seen her in street clothes, and she was every bit as radiant as in an evening gown and work attire.

I snapped out of it, remembering the reason I'd come by – to talk to Carlisle.

He was busy with the girls, so I casually walked up to get his attention. "Ladies, do you mind if I steal Carlisle for a moment?"

Bella looked taken aback, but I could see her senses were dulled. She looked adorable when she was buzzed.

Carlisle and I walked out of earshot to talk.

"I talked to Mom this morning," I started, getting right to the point. "She wants me to come over this weekend for dinner."

"Great, we'd love to see you." My father was his usual happy self.

"Yeah, but she's invited some woman she wants to set me up with. Did she tell you that?"

He shrugged. "She wants to see you happy."

I could feel the color rush to my face. "I _am_ happy, and I don't need my mommy to get dates for me." I loved my mom, but she had been meddling in my love life since I'd moved home, and I hated it.

My dad grew a little defensive, which he always did when someone said something negative about my mom. "You don't need help getting dates; you need help finding a nice woman. You haven't been in a relationship since Tanya, and your mother's just concerned you are closing yourself off to the possibility."

I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated. "I've told you guys, I'm fine. I don't want to come over to be under a microscope. Can you please talk to Mom? I mean it; I hate it when she does this."

He put his hand on my shoulder. "I'll talk to her, but don't be angry. She just loves you."

I sighed heavily. I knew my mom's intentions were good, but I didn't want help. I wasn't looking for a relationship.

I let Carlisle get back to helping the girls, while I finished checking the week's sales report at the other end of the bar. The girls' voices began to escalate, no doubt in direct correlation to the amount of alcohol they were consuming. I was listening intently, even though I pretended to be engrossed in my report.

I heard Bella's voice. "God, Alice, he's just so beautiful. Just look at him! It's so not fair. He's such a jerk."

I noticed that there were only four men in the room, myself included. Who was the jerk? Me? Carlisle? I kept my head down, reading the same line on the report over and over.

One of the other girls responded. "I'll give you that. And you're right; he's easy on the eyes."

"Easy on the eyes? That's the understatement of the century." It was Bella again.

"Who's easy on the eyes?" The other girl joined the conversation, her voice carrying more than the other two.

"Shhhh!" Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella grabbing onto Rosalie to keep her quiet.

"Well, look who's got a happy little buzz?" Rosalie was teasing Bella. "So, who's easy on the eyes?"

"Edward Cullen?" Rosalie asked in a loud voice. "You were talking about him?"

My ears perked up. So, I was the jerk? I was the jerk she thought was beautiful?

I had to sneak a peek at her. I wanted to see the blush on her cheeks. When I looked up and gave her a small smile, I instantly felt horrible. She thought I was a jerk, and I must have been in her opinion. I couldn't look at her any longer and focused again on my paperwork – sort of.

Bella was obviously a little tipsy as she continued to talk to her friends. "I swear, that man probably fuels more steamy fantasies than anyone has a right to."

How could I possibly concentrate on my boring weekly sales report when Bella Swan was right next to me talking about how I fueled fantasies?

Then Rosalie spoke. "Like yours?"

Holy shit! I wanted to know the answer to that question. Was it possible that Bella had fantasized about me the way I had done with her? My lips drew up involuntarily into a smile.

Rosalie continued prodding Bella, and I wanted to walk over and kiss her for it. "You didn't answer the question, Bella. Has he or has he not been the star of one of your fantasies?"

"Keep your voice down, Rosalie!" Bella sounded horrified.

"Well?"

Then Alice chimed in. "Of course she's fantasized about him. Just look at her blush!"

That was fucking it. I had to see that blush. I had to see if what they said was true. My body heat was rising just thinking about it.

I cleared my throat to get a hold of myself and glanced up at Bella. She and I made eye contact, and her face held so many emotions, the primary one being complete humiliation. In that moment, I wanted to comfort her, to tell her that I'd had the same feelings about her, but I didn't want to make the situation worse for her.

She rested her face on the bar in embarrassment, and I decided to give her the space her eyes had been begging for.

I said a quick goodbye to my dad and left, but my mind was still very much back at Masenry with Bella.

She had thought about me.

She thought I was beautiful.

She'd had fantasies about me.

She thought I was an asshole.

Fuck.

I slammed my hands onto the steering wheel of my car in frustration. Why her? Why did she need to open a restaurant in The Valley? Why did someone who represented something I loathed engage my interest, sympathy and vitriol so easily? Something told me I wasn't going to get her out of my head any time soon, and we were sure to cross paths again.

I was so fucked.

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**A/N: Aww, poor tortured Edward! This was one of the two original outtakes I had planned. I hope you enjoyed it! **

**Thanks so much for reading! I know I've been fail about review replies, but if you knew how busy I am, you'd understand. I'm just trying to keep up with the writing. I totally appreciate all the support I get from you guys. You have no idea! **

**A few people have asked what's next for me. I am planning on writing more, but at this point, I'm going to do a few O/S to see if a particular topic appeals to me. I have a few contests that I'm going to enter so be sure to add me to author alert and follow me on Twitter wandb_ff. If any of you have a plot bunny you'd like to see written, let me know. **

**Thanks to my peeps this week for all the help! You know who you are and what you did to help, so I can't thank you enough. **

**Next up – the final chapter. *sniff***


	29. Chapter 29 Harvest

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 29: Harvest **

I almost fell over as I tried to slide my foot into my shoe and simultaneously put on my earring. I was almost never late – chefs are always on time – but tonight I couldn't seem to get it together. It was the night of the annual Harvest Ball, and I'd procrastinated getting ready all day. I really wasn't in the mood to hob knob and schmooze.

In addition to feeling completely exhausted, I felt like a cow. I'd spent over two hours in the maternity store trying on dresses for tonight. When did designers decide that pregnant women are happy looking like meringues? I finally did find one I liked. It was a deep red silk, with a cowl neck and a bodice that hung loosely over my gigantic growing form.

I sighed as I looked into the mirror, knowing that it was just the baby making me so big, but unable to help feeling like I looked like a house – a McMansion, actually. The baby wasn't due for a few weeks, but the novelty of being pregnant was long gone.

I walked into the kitchen, where I found Edward drinking a glass of scotch and playing with his phone. He looked up when he heard me coming and smiled widely.

"You're gorgeous," he said, pulling me into his arms for a hug.

I rolled my eyes and huffed. "I look huge."

He reached between us and put his hand on my belly. "No, you look beautiful." The look on his face when he touched me was indescribable.

We hadn't been planning on getting pregnant so soon after the wedding, but when it happened, we got really excited. I saw a side of Edward I'd never seen before – paternal pride. It suited him well.

We'd decided to wait and find out the sex of the baby, but the curiosity was killing me. Would we have a little boy with sparkling green eyes? Or would we have a little girl with brown eyes who worshipped her daddy? I knew whatever it ended up being, Edward would be a great dad. I couldn't wait to meet him or her.

Edward had procured a car and a driver to take us to the Ball, even though I told him I'd be our designated driver. He always liked this event because it was where we first met, and as a result, treated it like some sort of anniversary.

In the back seat of the town car and headed to the Ball, Edward put his arm around me, and I leaned into his shoulder and sighed.

"Are you tired?" he asked, rubbing my leg.

"No, I'm just feeling huge. How much bigger can this baby get?"

"Hey, that's my baby in there." He kissed my neck and all was forgotten.

As we got closer, and I could see the twinkle lights in the trees and the glow from the tent, I remembered how I'd felt when I came here the first time. I'd been nervous about making a good impression and had been so flustered by Edward. How different things were two years later.

Confidential had been hugely successful, and I was able to promote Alice to executive chef and hire a replacement soux chef to help while I was out with the baby. I didn't know what my plans were down the road, but I did know I couldn't keep up the rigorous schedule the restaurant demanded with a newborn; I had to have some help. Alice was a perfect fit. She knew the restaurant so well and supported my vision. Of course, I would always be involved, but I trusted the day to day operations to Alice.

Edward had been amazing since we'd moved in together and gotten married. It was hard to remember the cold, closed off man he once was.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" he asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"You hated me when I first saw you here. Remember? You scowled at me the whole night." I cocked my eyebrow at him as I teased.

His expression turned serious, and he grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers, squeezing tightly. "You'll never know how sorry I am that I lumped you into the same category as Aro. I was so wrong about you."

I pulled our joined hands up to my mouth and kissed his knuckles. "I spent a lot of time wondering what I'd done to make you hate me."

"I know. I was an idiot. All we needed to do was just talk."

"You know, even when you were being a complete dick to me, I still thought you were amazingly sexy. I would shamelessly stare at you. God, how I hated that! You had this strange hold over me."

He smiled, and I knew he loved my backhanded compliment. "The feeling was entirely mutual. You were like this magnet that I couldn't draw away from."

"What made you change your mind about me? When I look back, I just remember things being so hard for us...and then something changed."

He hung his head. We'd talked over the time we'd been together about our first encounters, and I knew he felt incredibly guilty for treating me poorly. "I couldn't stay away from you. Even though you were with Peter, I just wanted a piece of your life. I couldn't help it."

"You have all my life now." I reached up and touched his cheek with the back of my finger.

"I do. How I got this lucky I'll never know, but I'm not about to question it. Whatever hardship I had to endure to end up with you was 100% worth it."

"Do you have any idea how many nights I stayed up thinking about you?"

He grinned mischievously. "Yes, I remember you used to fantasize about me."

"Used to fantasize? Who says I ever stopped?"

His eyes changed from playful to lustful as he leaned in and kissed me, softly whispering against my lips. "You'll have to tell me all about your fantasies, love. Just thinking about it makes me want to skip the party and go straight home."

I giggled as his lips tickled me when he spoke. "That's all I have to do to get out of this? Damn."

He laughed, but I knew this night was important to him.

The party was actually much better than I expected. Rosalie and Emmett were there, as were Edward's parents. Even Jane and her boyfriend Alec made the trip from Los Angeles.

Toward the end of the night, Edward pulled me over to one of the benches on the side of the tent and sat us both down. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box and an envelope and handed them both to me.

I looked up, surprised, as I took the box. "Edward…what…"

"Read it."

I set the box down and carefully opened the envelope. Inside was a written letter in Edward's handwriting. I looked up at Edward, and he nodded, encouraging me to read.

_My Dearest Bella, _

_I'm writing this letter to you because I know I could never say this in person. (You know I'm not good at saying how I feel). I wanted to give this gift to you at the Harvest Ball because it always reminds me how far we've come. How, with perseverance, we overcame the odds and made a wonderful life. Nevertheless, you captivated me back then, even when I didn't know you, and I remember it like it was yesterday._

_Last night, I stayed up reading in bed while you were asleep next to me. I watched you sleeping so peacefully. You looked happy, which, in turn, made me happy. That's all I want for you – to be happy. I know you're ready for the baby to be born, but seeing you pregnant with our baby fills me with a sense of pride I've never known. Thank you for being the mother of my child, for giving up your body for our baby. I can't imagine embarking on this journey with anyone else. _

_I know I said it on our wedding day, but I want to vow to you again that I will always love you. You are my family, and nothing will ever change that. Before I met you, I was bruised, merely existing. You made me live! And you continue to make me live. I see the world differently now that you're in my life, and I will never take you for granted. _

_Accept this gift as a way for me to express what I never thought I'd be capable of feeling. I love you, and I can't wait to meet our baby. _

_Love always, _

_Edward _

The tears fell from my eyes, smearing the words he'd so carefully written. Suddenly, I didn't care anymore that I was uncomfortable, or that I hadn't slept in weeks, or that I was as big as a house. All I cared about was that we were a family, and our family was about to get bigger. I was overwhelmed with happiness.

"Are you going to open it?" Edward asked, nodding at the box as he lifted my chin.

I wiped my tear as I picked up the box and opened it. Inside was a beautiful pendant with two diamond-studded circles embedded in one another. It was understated but incredibly beautiful.

"It's beautiful," I gasped. "I don't know what to say. You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to."

"I love it. But, the note…" I faded off, shaking my head, because I'd never be able to express what his words meant to me.

"I meant every word." He looked at me with such love in his eyes; I had no doubt about his sincerity. I never did. We'd come so far and been through so much together, but we'd come out of it stronger than ever.

"Help me put this on?" I asked, removing the necklace from the box and handing it to him.

"Of course." He smiled as I turned and lifted my hair. His hands came around my body and slipped the necklace around my neck. Once it was clasped, he kissed my shoulder. "It looks perfect on you."

I turned back around and hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go. "Will you take me home? I just need some time alone with you tonight."

"Sure. Anything you want."

We said our goodbyes, and I collapsed into the back seat of the car. Being on my feet for such a long time was getting harder and harder on my ever-expanding body. Edward cradled me in his arms as I faded off to sleep.

Before I knew it, he was shaking me lightly. "Wake up, love. We're home."

I smiled but my eyes were still drooping. "Mmm, home." Home was where Edward was.

I slid into our bed, making my fortress of pillows around me. The last couple of weeks had been increasingly uncomfortable for me. I was hardly sleeping, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't stay still. I felt bad for Edward, because I knew he wanted to be intimate, but I just didn't feel up to it. He was remarkably understanding. As I struggled with the pillows, Edward laughed as he always did, but he didn't say anything.

"Goodnight, baby. I hope you sleep well," he said with a smile as he kissed me.

"Goodnight." I wasn't feeling even remotely confident that a good night's sleep was in the cards.

I had no idea what was happening when I work up. It was still dark, and all I knew was that I was uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. The sharp pain in my belly got stronger until I was gripping my pillow just to make it through.

_The baby's not due for a few weeks_, I rationalized with myself. This was just one of those many unpleasant things about pregnancy I had to endure.

The next time the pain hit, I changed my mind. This was labor.

Edward was asleep next to me, and I didn't want to be one of those women who ran to the hospital too early and was sent home. Then the pain hit again, and fuck, I knew this was not a false alarm.

I leaned over and kissed Edward's cheek. "Baby, wake up."

Nothing.

I shook him lightly. "Baby, I'm serious. Wake up."

He rolled over and grumbled.

I shook him harder. "Baby, it's _time_!"

He bolted upright, seemingly programmed to move upon hearing those particular words. "Holy shit! Are you sure?"

I nodded, internally chuckling at the panicked look on his face. "Yeah, I'm sure."

He was so cute as he frantically packed our bags, all the while trying to tend to me. I gave him some instructions through gritted teeth.

By the time we got to the hospital, I was in more pain than I'd ever imagined. Edward was great, not letting my tantrums and outbursts get to him in any way. He was always solid, unflappable.

The next several hours were a blur. I was focused on the task at hand and surprised by my lack of nerves. Then the doctor told me it was time to push, and all the nerves came to the forefront. The moment I'd been waiting for was upon us.

Edward sensed my panic and gripped my hand. "You're going to do great, baby."

I nodded, but the fear was still very much there. I just wanted to get through this and know that the baby was okay.

After only a few minutes, the baby was born, and my head hit the pillow in relief.

"It's a girl!" the doctor declared happily.

Tears flowed down my face as I saw my daughter for the first time. She was so tiny and so beautiful! The doctor put her to my chest, and Edward's hand came to her tiny back.

When I looked up at Edward, he had tears in his eyes. I'd never seen him cry before, but this moment was so overwhelming for both of us. It was the culmination of ten months of anticipation.

He leaned in and kissed me. "You did it! She's so beautiful!"

I sighed. I did it.

Edward kissed our daughter's tiny forehead. "Welcome to the world, Chelsea Elizabeth Cullen."

He took our tiny daughter from my arms and held her. The look of wonder in his eyes would forever be burned in my memory. She was the product of our love, and the struggles we'd endured to get here seemed like ancient history.

The bronze-haired, mysterious man I'd admired from afar that night so long ago at the Harvest Ball had weaved his way permanently into my life, and I could never have imagined being this happy.

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**A/N: So, that's the end! *sniff* I hope you enjoyed it. I was feeling enormously sappy when I wrote it (can you tell? LOL). There are pics from the epilogue on my profile.**

**Thanks so much to all my readers, who've stuck with me through broken noses and numerous delays. I want you all to know that I appreciate the support so much! I hope you'll stick with me for my next adventure. **

**What's that, you ask? Well, I've currently got an entry in the Erotica Contest (link is on my profile). It's anonymous, so I can't tell you which one, but I hope you'll take a look and vote for your favorite. Also, I'm writing another one for an upcoming contest as well. I will probably write at least one more full length fic, I'm just not sure what about yet. So, send me your plot bunnies if you have an idea for a fic. **

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